As human beings we are all vulnerable to loneliness, especially during periods of grief. We want to feel safe, protected, and not alone, yet a sense of loneliness is quite easy for us to access. We may feel alone in our bodies, in our homes, or alone in the world. So how do we find our way through loneliness?
In my work as a teacher and spirit translator, I came to realize that in order to move through my own loneliness, I had to acquire a deep understanding of the pain that other people go through. It might seem as though connecting with other people’s pain would intensify my own, but on the contrary, it helped me to release my loneliness. Through physical and emotional pain, I was able to understand the suffering of others, and that profound empathy tied us together. It granted me the safety and protection that I wanted. If you feel this way, you are not alone!
When you finally choose to move deeper into understanding suffering (your own and that of others), you may find that the sting and ache of pain is released. Know you are not alone. Loneliness may come and go. Following these spiritual lessons will help you move through it. (They did for me.)
We are all on Earth to learn lessons we need to grow as souls. Loneliness can be an indication of feeling disconnected. It’s a symptom of not feeling connected to your inner being, or universal love. It’s not something to be avoided, but something to behold. Seen this way, you can begin to embrace the state of being and seek its lessons, rather than desperately trying to cure it.
One of life’s inevitable experiences that may cause you to feel the most alone is living through the passing of someone you love. It is something that we will all probably experience at some point in our lives. With the encouragement of spirit, you can come to see that grief is not something to avoid, but something to learn from. In times of grief, remember how valuable a human lifetime is. In reality, your loved ones who have passed on are still with you in your heart and memories. Recalling times you spent with that person helps you feel the joy you experienced with them. You might even do a favorite activity to help you remember. For example, I know a woman whose father has passed. She plants a tree or flower every time she misses him because that is something they did together when he was alive. She has gratitude for him every time she passes that flower or tree in her yard.
In times of grief and loneliness, it’s easy to focus on one’s own suffering. In fact, many people try to avoid speaking with others who are struggling when grieving. It is important to realize we all experience pain at some point in life. The suffering of humanity connects us all.
Take time to allow yourself to remember the people you have loved who have passed. In your memory of them, you have the ability to harness the energy and the love to help you in the here and now. Try writing a letter to them, expressing all that you wish to tell them, or have a conversation aloud with them when you are at home and feeling lonely.
You may not be able to erase loneliness, nor should you try. Grieving and feeling lonely may teach you valuable spiritual lessons. When you embrace and engage with your own suffering and that of others, you may move through loneliness, rather than avoiding it. There is great growth to be gained along the way.
A final thought I have for you is this: When I miss my father the most, I usually read something uplifting authored by someone who is no longer here physically. This practice helps me remember people who have passed have left us with information and spiritual knowledge we can use today. This helps me remember those who have passed are still present and contributing to my life today. For example, my own father, Dr. Ernest Pecci, was a prominent figure in San Francisco’s New Age movement and even though I am his daughter, I am still learning and discovering what he left for us all.
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