Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, guilt, shame, anger and inadequacy. Taking loving actions can heal this.
Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.
In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action on her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna's friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica's feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had abandoned herself.
Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take loving care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she loved? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take responsibiity for herself and her own feelings, instead of taking responsibility for others' feelings.
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action on their own behalf, a lack of personal responsibility for their own feelings and wellbeing.
Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.
Loving Actions for Yourself
Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own feelings and needs. When you take loving action on your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, that you are important and that you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.
Loving actions for yourself might include:
Loving Actions in Relationship to Others
Loving actions in relationship to others might include:
As a result of practicing Inner Bonding and learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.
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