Arielle Ford is a love and relationship expert and a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the producer and host of Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love series.

Arielle is a gifted writer and...

Arielle Ford is a love and relationship expert and a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the producer and host of Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love series.

Arielle is a gifted writer and the author of ten books including the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her latest book is Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate. She has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love.”

She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends. Join her newsletter and get free chapters of her new book at  www.soulmatesecret.com

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How The Experts Calm Themselves Down

calm How The Experts Calm Themselves Down
One of my favorite saying is this: “if you don’t want to burn out, stop living like you are on fire!”

My fantasy is that I “glide through life,” and yet my reality is more like, OMG! Holy Shit! and I race around like the world will end if I don’t finish my To-Do list. Of course this creates tons of stress, anxiety, crazy fears that something bad is gonna happen, etc.

As I mentioned last week, my go to solution is EFT Tapping and I decided to ask my friends what they do to bring themselves back to neutral, sanity, or whatever happy place they want to be.

See if any of these solutions work for you!

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Staying Centered and Sane in A Crazy World

centered Staying Centered and Sane in A Crazy World

Lately many of my conversations with friends have been around just how stressed out everyone is. More than normal. Anxiety. Fear. Depression. Uncertainty. All seem to be rampant.

My theory is that we all have our “usual” mishigosh to deal with and now, with all the troubles in the world, we’re also feeling the collective angst in the field.

One of the ways I manage myself is with a simple, easy to do, and fast technique known as EFT Tapping. I suggest you give it a try, here’s a link to a free 5 minute video from my genius friend Nick Ortner.

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What’s Your Love Language?

languageoflove What’s Your Love Language?

After I got married I found out there is something so much more important than being “right.” It’s being “loved.” I discovered that when I was committed to being “right,” it always meant making someone else “wrong.” As you know, feeling wrong does not go well with feeling loved.

So many of us like to assume a rigid stance and “dig in our heels” to fight for our point of view and prove how “right” we are — often about some pretty stupid stuff. The cost of needing to be right is hurting, harassing or humiliating the ones we claim to love the most.

I have finally learned to manage my mind and my mouth. Most of the time it’s not necessary to “correct” anyone on what I think is right or wrong unless it’s really pertinent to someone’s wellbeing. Now, when I am smart enough to “catch” myself and I am about to blurt out something in order to be “right,” I slap some imaginary masking tape over my mouth and choose love instead.

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How MUCH do you CRAVE That Desire?

love-the-nature-picture-id1071896844 How MUCH do you CRAVE That Desire?

I’m not very compliant when it comes to things I SHOULD do.

Things like taking ALL of my vitamins everyday.

Or, cutting back on carbs to reduce the chances of full-fledged diabetes and dementia (not to mention belly fat) or sleeping with my night-guard to stop grinding my teeth and getting middle of the night headaches.

Just “knowing” these things are good for me have never been enough of a reason to do them.

A part of me screams, “I don’t want to” and “you can’t make me.”

BUT……eventually, I get a good enough reason to become compliant.

I now take my vitamins (in spite of hating to swallow so many pills) because my new story is that “I do it for Brian” so he can have a healthy wife on the planet.

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A faster Way to Manifest Your Desires

plan-people-person-imagine-fantasize-ponder-person-concept-close-up-picture-id961375674 A faster Way to Manifest Your Desires

Like most people, I want what I want, when I want it and I want it now.

And the word “want” is a surefire way not to get it.

Huh?

Wanting implies that something is missing. It implies lack. And when you are in the state of wanting, all the Universe can give you is more of the feeling of “wanting.”

It’s a cycle of doom most times.

Now, when you have a deep desire for something and that desire is rooted in knowing and trusting that what you have asked for IS already yours, well, that’s when the magic can and does happen.

However, understanding this intellectually doesn’t make it so.

The Law of Attraction is slippery stuff as I found out when I began practicing it.

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Don’t Fall for the BS about this!

friends Don’t Fall for the BS about this!

There is an axiom that’s been circulating in the personal development world for years now that says we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with (attributed to Jim Rohn and others).

And I say its Bull Sh$t. (and some have a $100k a year program to make sure you meet and circulate with the “right” folks)

It’s a good way to make people paranoid.

Don’t believe that the 5 people you spend the most time with — even if they are broke, sick, negative or failing in life — that you too will soon be like them.

The purveyors of this madness claim these traits are “contagious” and if you really want to be successful you need to be hanging out with wealthy, super healthy, skinny, very successful folks. (If this were true my retirement account would be off the charts)

There is even a new “study” out that claims if you are hanging out with obese people, chances are 48% you too will become obese.

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Don’t Blame The Victim

consolingafriend Don’t Blame The Victim

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, desire, destiny, free will and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – lets say a serious diagnoses, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, “ what thoughts were you having that would cause this?”

Well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible trying to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when their down, by suggesting they caused the problem.

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Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

grayhairlove Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

Gray hair getting you down?

Here’s some science based good news!

Whether you are dating or partnered, according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive. (“Mature” is code for gray hair in this instance.)

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had.

The study found that “healthy” hair is more important than hair color unless you have an unnatural color in your hair, in which case it works against you.

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Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)

happier Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)
Want the insider tips on what the happiest people in the world do to live long, healthy, and HAPPY lives?

Dan Buettner, an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author has written The Blue Zones of Happiness

His book is based on happiness you can actually measure. The first kind of happiness is determined by asking people to rate their life satisfaction level on a scale of 1 to 10. The second kind of happiness is purpose, and it’s measured by people rating how engaged they are with their lives, and if they’re doing meaningful things every day. The third measurement is how much people enjoy their lives on a day -to-day or moment-to-moment basis. That’s determined by asking people to remember their last 24 hours and report how many times they felt joy, laughed, or smiled.
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The Husband Super Store

young-couple-shopping-man-smiling-at-woman-on-sofa-picture-id511554555 The Husband Super Store

I once heard a story called Shopping for the Perfect Husband. The tale is set in the “Perfect Husband” super store, a five-story building where women go to find their perfect match.

On each of the five floors there are men with various qualities. The main rule was that once you reached any given floor, you had to select a man from that floor. If you didn’t, you could go to the next floor, not knowing for sure what you would find. The trick was that you couldn’t return to a lower floor unless you planned to leave the store husband-less.

Marianne and Joan, lifelong best friends, set off to find Mr. Soulmate. On the first floor there was a small sign that read:

“These guys love children and have good jobs.”

Joan thought that was great, but she was also curious to see what was on the second floor.
Marianne followed her up the escalator where they found a somewhat larger sign that said:

“These guys are super handsome, love children and have great jobs.”

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Love Yourself Most

loveyourself Love Yourself Most

My amazing friend, Sheri Salata, is a deep, loving, soulful woman who had the career of her dreams for 21 years including titles as Executive Producer of the Oprah Show and co-CEO of OWN network. When she decided to move on and “produce” her own life she was one hundred pounds overweight, no man in site, and nearly 57 years old. Today her book, The Beautiful No, arrives in stores, and I’ve invited her to be a guest blogger on the topic of

What I Know About Love.

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Happy Money and LOVE

lovemoney Happy Money and LOVE

You may already know this…. the #1 source of conflict in marriages and the biggest cause of divorce is money.

Why?

According to my dear friend, Ken Honda, author of Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Ken is a bestselling author (over 7 million books sold around the world!) who has spent years helping the people of Japan heal their relationships with money and become more abundant and peaceful.

Why is money such a big issue in relationships?

According to Ken it’s as if you & your beloved grew up in different countries when it comes to how to handle money.

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Is it time to Scare Yourself?

handwriting-hand-writes-with-a-pen-in-a-notebook-picture-id910204808 Is it time to Scare Yourself?

I am in the midst of a new project, something I’ve never attempted before, and I’ve been keeping a journal of the process. I promise to share all about it at that right time but for today here’s what I want you to know.

Over the weekend I read my journal and I had forgotten how absolutely terrified I was when I began it.

My first journal entry revealed that I was sick with nerves and severe anxiety as I began this project. I was filled with self-doubt and fear of failing. At one point I felt like I would pass out just thinking about the enormity of what I was committing to while having thoughts such as:

“Who am I to attempt this?”

‘”I don’t know how to do this.”

“I’m not smart enough to do this.”

“No one will ever be interested in this project.”

“I’ll end up looking like such as loser for attempting this.”

These and many other negative thoughts consumed my monkey mind, initially.

But, I didn’t let it stop me.

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The Fastest Path to Loving Yourself More

love-everything-picture-id1135940061 The Fastest Path to Loving Yourself More

Unless you are in a dark place of self-loathing (in which case please find a professional counselor to help you work through it), I know that the fastest way to love yourself more is to be in a healthy, happy, love relationship.

I have come across so many people who tell me that they are “working” on loving themselves, and once they do THEN, they will begin dating.”

I believe you can do both at the same time.

The good news is that working on yourself is a great thing and you can find strategies to be more loving and kind and accepting of yourself and you need to know that the critical voice in your head can be lessened but folks, honestly, you’re never going to eliminate it entirely.

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How to BE with NOT KNOWING

woman-is-walking-on-the-road-at-sunset-picture-id838962412 How to BE with NOT KNOWING

One of the first things I learned in Journalism school is the importance to provide the Who, What, When, Where, and How in every story.

As someone who always wanted to know all of those things, especially when I am trying to make BIG decisions and choices in my life, learning how to BE with NOT KNOWING changed my life.

Once I realized it was impossible to always know what to do and how to be, I figured out a few things that made my life easier.=-

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How Many ”I Love You’s” Is Too Much?

soulmates How Many ”I Love You’s” Is Too Much?

Can your soulmate ever say “I Love You” too often?

I doubt it.

Of course, you first need a warm, loving, awesome soulmate to find out.

For those of you fortunate ones who are living life with your soulmate, challenge yourself to UP your love sharing.

Use every opportunity to tell them how much love and appreciate them, (and chances are once you start the process, they will follow along and share more love with you).

Get creative.

Tuck a little “I Love You” post-it note into their purse or pocket.

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Be A LOVE Plusser (here’s how!)

loveplusser Be A LOVE Plusser (here’s how!)

I recently attended a creativity workshop taught by famed artist and animator, Dave Zoboski (link to www.TheAlchemyofCreativity.com ). He spent decades working as a Senior Animator at Disney, Sony and Warner Brothers.

We all were given colored pencils and a sketchpad while Dave’s model posed for us.  Most of us didn’t have any real artistic ability in this field, but we were encouraged to have fun and go for it.

After several minutes of sketching, he told us to stop and to put our pad on our chair and to move three seats to our left and then pick up the pad on that chair and begin sketching on someone else drawing.   The assignment was to see how we could improve upon what they had already begun.

Dave explained that in the animation field, the culture is such that you never criticize another artists’ work, but rather you become a “plusser” for them …someone who adds to and improves the work they have done so far.

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The Difference Between Manifestation and Magical Thinking

child-with-toy-space-rocket-and-tricycle-picture-id913705186 The Difference Between Manifestation and Magical Thinking

Magical Thinking is something children do naturally and it’s a fun process for them. Believing in Santa Claus is a good example. But when we grow up and mature, engaging in magical thinking will often lead to frustration and disappointment.

Magical Thinking is “wishing” to win the lottery but never buying a ticket.

Magical Thinking is “wishing” for a better job or a new career but never taking real action steps to make it happen.

Magical Thinking is saying you want to write a book but never sitting down to write.

Magical Thinking is hoping you will meet and marry your soulmate “organically,” or wishing and dreaming that one-click Amazon will deliver him or her to your doorstep.

Is it time for you to give up your Magical Thinking and put one of your dreams into action?

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What Law & Order Taught Me About Love

chef-cleaning-after-preparing-food-picture-id867679096 What Law & Order Taught Me About Love

One of my favorite TV series of the last 20 years is Law and Order. I avidly watch all of the various versions of the show and often fall asleep to re-runs! I’m always impressed with how the defense attorneys stand up for their unlikable clients, working hard to prove that one is “innocent until proven guilty.”

Recently Brian was admonishing me, for the millionth time, about leaving crumbs on the kitchen counter. This has been going on forever.
I just don’t see crumbs!

He told me (again) how the crumbs attract ants (also an ongoing issue).
My first reaction (as usual) was to get defensive thinking, “it’s just a few ants.” 
But then I thought, what if I had to defend Brian’s reaction and really stand up for him and make a case for why he was right???

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Before You React, Reflect!

react Before You React, Reflect!

This morning I came across a colleagues name and that reminded me that she had not responded to my last three emails, which were requests for assistance on something that she easily could have said no to.  I felt myself getting angry, and feeling dissed, and then my imagination began thinking up ways to trick her into responding just to prove that my emails were going through and she was purposely not responding.

Instead of doing something hurtful, I did some tapping, some breathing, and then I got the message below from my friend Madisyn Taylor of DailyOm.   This was exactly what I needed to be reminded of, just at the right moment, so thought I  would share it with all of you:

 “We have all had the experience of reacting in a way that was less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it’s yelling back at the person yelling at us, or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to remember to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults that can come our way in life.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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