When my sister Debbie was in the last days of her life, she whispered to me, “take more vacations.” I knew exactly what she meant. She had worked hard, too hard, most of her life and she had worn herself out.
Now, in these final moments, she was offering me some wisdom….
For the last several years I have followed her advice and have scheduled at least one vacation a year designed to restore and rejuvenate my body, mind, and spirit.
We recently returned from 10 days in Greece and Italy and I’ve never felt better.
Someone once said, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they’re both disappointed.”
If you’re marrying in the belief that it will make your life significantly better, then things probably aren’t great to begin with. Only you can make yourself happy and when you are happy, and you are with your soulmate/life partner, that is the icing on the cake.
That said, there are always ways to improve your relationship, reignite the fun and passion, and rekindle your commitment, especially when you understand the “real purpose of marriage.”
By the time you read this, Brian and I will be in Santorini celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s where we went on our honeymoon and decided it was time for another visit to this gorgeous paradise. I promise to share some photos when we return.
Seems like the stars and planets have clustered to bring pain to people’s love lives this past week. I’ve gotten many calls and emails from heartbroken people who are baffled and confused by unexpected “love turmoil.”
I don’t know what the celestial answer is, but I do know what to do and what not to do when the “Sh#t” hits the fan:
1) Don’t immediately react. Keep breathing.
2) Don’t automatically assume the relationship is over.Keep breathing.
3) Don’t assume you did anything “wrong” (unless you did, in which case google the best way to make a proper apology and do it). Simply saying I’m sorry is generally not sufficient.
4) Ask for a time when you can sit down and talk (ideally in person) and then be sure to REALLY listen:
The wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan this past Saturday was a beautiful, moving and inspiring affair. We got up in the middle of the night to watch it, and I am so happy we did. To know that we were “in the field of love” with a billion (or more) other human beings watching this, was so heartwarming and healing.
Given the crazy times we are living in, I found watching this to be comforting, soothing, and a great reminder that love does and will prevail.
People can be annoying.
It’s just a basic fact of life.
And when we are annoyed, it creates upset and stress in our body, mind and spirit.
Not to mention the trouble we can cause if we get annoyed and then immediately lash out and create even more drama.
It’s taken me years to train myself to allow myself the time to just “be” with the upset, to not react, or overreact to the situation.
As I am “just being,” I give myself the space to try to figure out what I am annoyed about, and then decide whether or not there is something to do about it.
Sometimes a conversation is in order to talk things through, but most of the time, once I ask myself the following question, I can soften and release my emotions.
I’ve been thinking about honesty and lying lately… a lot!
It began several weeks ago while I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio.
A male caller was sharing that he had recently had a one night stand while on a business trip and he was feeling a huge amount of regret and remorse and was asking Dr. Laura if he should confess to his wife of 10 years with whom he had 3 young children.
He said he loved his wife and his kids and he would never cheat again.
Dr. Laura’s advice took me by surprise.
Several years ago, I read this really cool article in the Huffington Post by Cate Matthews (copied below) that PROVES we can decide if we are lucky or not. Take a look:
Are you lucky or unlucky?
The question may seem innocent, but your answer to it could have incredible effects on the quality of your life: thinking positively and believing yourself to be lucky can have a significant effect on whether you actually are.
In a street experiment conducted by National Geographic, passersby were asked to identify themselves as either lucky or unlucky. Then they were handed a newspaper and told a prize of $20 awaited them if they could count the number of photos in the paper in 10 seconds.
We just went to see Amy Schumer’s new comedy, I Feel Pretty, which is touching and funny, and I highly recommend it.
The premise of the film is that an ordinary, pudgy woman, Renee, of just average looks, wishes to be breathtakingly beautiful.
Renee falls off her bike at Soul Cycle, hits her head, and when she awakens, she looks in the mirror and sees the beauty she always hoped to become.
The last few days I have been on fire with Spring cleaning. Suddenly, I am filled with energy and motivation to clear out clutter, clean up old messes, wipe down the baseboards, throw out and give away things that aren’t needed… and it feels great.
As part of your Spring Cleaning to enhance your love life, my friend and Feng Shui expert Shawne Mitchell suggests enlivening the Marriage and Relationship section of your home.
To figure out where this is, stand in your front door (facing into your home) and locate the far right corner of the house (or of your bedroom) and this is it!
Not only does this section represent all love relationships, on a spiritual level it also represents your relationship to yourself.
To enliven this space, add artwork that depicts love and romance, or add pairs of things such as two lovebirds, or swans or any animals that mate, like dolphins.
Include fresh flowers, candles, and crystals (you can hang them from the ceiling on red or pink ribbons.)
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about advanced manifesting techniques and in the process remembered that some of the EASIEST manifesting comes from daydreaming….
When you are daydreaming, you are letting your imagination run wild, fantasizing about something that feels good, but without any strong attachment or need to “make it happen.” There is no “want” involved, just the sweetness of playing with your imagination.
Let me give you an example: For many years I have often had the thought, “Someday, I’d really like to visit Thailand.” I have never actively sought to make this happen, but when the thought arises, I close my eyes and imagine that I am visiting Thailand and having a fabulous time there. A few days ago my speaking agent called to tell me that I will soon be offered a speaking engagement in Thailand and I am now waiting to finalize the details.
How crazy is that? By indulging in daydreaming, I manifested something wonderful.
I love weddings!!! And, I especially love weddings that we get to officiate.
Being surrounded by a loving bride and groom (and all of their friends and family) in a beautiful setting filled with magic, music, flowers, fun and fabulous food is the perfect recipe for joy.
This past weekend, Brian and I had the honor of officiating the wedding of our friends Ann and Dennis (both in their 60’s).
We met Ann a little more than two years ago when she joined us in Bali for our Manifest Your Greatest Unmet Dream transformational journey to focus on her desire to meet her soulmate.
As many of you know, I am a big Elizabeth Gilbert fan. I recently fell in love with her even more when I read her very inspiring and heartwarming Facebook post about her view on what our “purpose” in life really is.
If you love and want MORE Liz, follow her on Facebook at:https://www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/
Although she passed away five years ago, my sister, the beloved spiritual teacher Debbie Ford, has left a powerful legacy with her new book, YOUR HOLINESS.
Through world-renowned medium, James Van Praagh, I received a clear message that she wanted to share with the world a life-changing prayer book. I had no idea that she had written such a book, but once James shared the messages, a quick search unearthed this beautiful, enlightening, and inspiring work.
What you may not know about Debbie and WHY she wrote this book:
Decades ago, Debbie was a drug addict.
At a certain point she knew that if she didn’t get help, she was going to die.
On the tenth day of her 4th rehab center, she was getting ready to run away in search of drugs. Instead, she went into a bathroom, with a very dirty floor, she got on her hands and knees and prayed, and God responded and gave her the strength to get sober.
I am super excited to share with you something my amazing soulmate, Brian, turned me on to: A letter Albert Einstein sent to his daughter about love.
“When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.
I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.
There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.
Whether manifesting your next dream career, new home, your soulmate (or whatever), a key component involves taking inspired action. Sometimes that means just trying something new and small, other times it means taking a GIANT LEAP OF FAITH and going for it.
More than 30 years ago, when I was living in South Florida, I had one of the worst days of my life. I was blindsided when I went to work and got fired. I never saw it coming. My ego was deeply bruised and I was in a state of shock. As I began to think about “what’s next,” I realized that a part of me yearned to live in Los Angeles. A city I had only briefly visited once. Within a few weeks, with less than $1,000, two suitcases, and very few contacts, I moved to L.A.
Was it scary? You bet!
And, it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. My entire life is what it is today because I was brave enough to follow my inner yearning.
My dear friend Marci Shimoff taught me the phrase Love Philanthropist, and every time I say it, it makes me smile.
Just as I’ve learned that tithing not only makes me feel good and does good for others, it also brings me more abundance.
Being a Love Philanthropist brings more love.
There are so many ways to share your love with the world:
Close your eyes and send love and blessings to your nearest and dearest (including your pets).
Send love notes (do it today!) via email or text or snail mail.
Smile and compliment strangers and beam love from your eyes to theirs.
There is a line in A Course in Miracles that says:
My dear friend and love expert, Dr. Lara Fernandez, has graciously agreed to share three soulmate manifesting tips for you today:
1. Stop thinking you have all the answers.
If you are over 30, single and really don’t want to be, and have been trying for years to find love, then there’s still some more you need to learn about yourself, about men (or women), and relationships. Be willing to have what the Buddhists call a “beginner’s mind” and embrace the journey to your soulmate as a learning process.
People who are know-it-alls are NOT attractive to a healthy relationship… they either end up pushing a good person away or attracting a man who is insecure. Stay humble (yet balanced with a gentle confidence) in your pursuit of your dream life.
Become what I call a “Student of Love.” Commit to continued learning and growing in this area of love and relationships. This learning will serve you not only in finding your Mr. Right… but KEEPING him and maintaining a happy, healthy, thriving relationship for years to come.
2. Be kind to yourself.
So…we are now officially one month into a New Year – how’s it going so far? Are you making progress on fulfilling your heart’s desire or did you get sidetracked?
Here are a few super easy things to do that will keep you on track:
- Write it down! Make it simple: “Before the end of 2018, I commit to myself to accomplish (or substitute be, do or have – whatever makes sense to you) to __________________.”
- I commit to doing ___ things each day towards accomplishing this. (I find that doing 5 little things every day is doable and works best for me.)
- I promise to enroll someone to be my accountability partner (research shows if you do this you have a 90% better chance of being successful!)
- Give yourself a weekly reward for the steps you took all week.
- Spend 5 minutes each day dropping into your heart and feeling what it feels like to have what you say you most desire.
Dating, whether you love it or loathe it, is an indispensable part of the soulmate manifestation process (and regular date nights are essential once you are a couple). Eventually, there will be a “first dinner date.” What you order will let him or her know if you have a healthy appetite for love and life.
On these early dates, we want to let our large appetite for life, our enthusiasm for life, really shine through as much as possible.
For those of you with gluten or other sensitivities (I fall into this category), it might be best just to order something you know is “safe” for you to eat rather than engage in a big conversation with the server, which will lead to a talk about your various ailments which might make you appear “high maintenance.”
If you are vegan or vegetarian, no problem, as long as you aren’t sitting in judgment if your date orders a steak. If you are a strident vegan, and you can’t watch anyone eat meat products, that is something to figure out BEFORE you go out on a dinner date.
For those of you “foodies” out there…be adventurous and let your date know that you love trying new things. Foodies need to find each other!
One other thought: Judging how someone else eats, even if you believe they are harming themselves, is toxic to you, not them.