Who is the Chronic Optimist?

Heather Lopez is a Freelance Writer, Mother of two lovely littles, Soul Survivor, and a Chronic Optimist. Her blog, The Chronic Optimist, follows her journey through this crazy life, experiences with unfortunate circumstances such as a Breast Cancer diagnosis, and everything in between with an emphasis on the positive.

Her motto: When Life Gives You Lemons, Embrace Them!

Her writing style is conversational with emphasis on hope, strength, love, and positivity to help encourage, inspire, and empower her readers to get through Life’s Lemons. She shares her stories so that others don’t feel alone in theirs. You can expect to feel something when you read her posts and often will be able to relate in some way. She is currently following her passion for writing and working on her first book.

Besides writing, she loves the simple things in life: hugs from her littles, family,

art, music, the beach, great food, chocolate, experiencing life with friends and family and the spa.

Follow, like, tweet, and share on the following social sites:

https://www.facebook.com/thechronicoptimistblog

https://twitter.com/thechronicoptim

https://www.instagram.com/thechronicoptimistblog/

It will be like meeting for coffee with an old friend!

Mortality: If You Die, Will You Forget Me?

heather-lopez-mortality

There is nothing like being a mom, to make you come face-to-face with mortality.

 

In all I have survived in this life thus far, I am still alive and kicking -  figuratively and relatively. But, there is nothing. And I mean, NOTHING - That has made me look Mortality dead in the face – screaming – I AM NOT READY or NOT NOW -  like being a mother has.

 

Our night time routines are rather long with our children. Well, I should say, my bedtime routine. I have a series of loving steps that I like to take each night with both of my littles to remind them that they are cherished and loved. Appreciated and heard. Unique and special.

 

We start with our prayers and then go into – what I like to call positive affirmations. Continue by talking about our day and acknowledging that maybe we made some not-so-great decisions, but tomorrow is the start of a new day and the slate is wiped clean.

 

One particular evening recently, during my bedtime routine with my oldest, Mortality crept in there in the most unexpected way. Usually, I will wander off into the future of possibilities for my littles. Flash forward and I see them graduating college, finding their way, learning new skills, getting married, and possibly having children of their own. Naturally, in these thoughts of the future – a time that has not yet occurred; I face Mortality – heaving from its dark cavern.  I can feel the chill of its cold breath breathing on my skin. But then, I quickly jump back into my daydream or lock on ever so tightly to the present moment.

 

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Cleanse. Create. Change.

Cleanse. Create. Change.

 Every year that passes we spend our last few hours reflecting on the “ALL” aspect of the last several months.

 

“ALL” that we were unable to accomplish. Who we may have had to say goodbye to or part ways with. The things we wish we would have done differently. The times throughout the year that were most difficult.

 

Even when we may briefly be able to identify the good from the previous year; it is too easy for our focus to swing back to “ALL” the negatives associated with the past 12 months.

 

But what about ALL the Good?

 

Great?

 

Remarkable?

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Is this Holiday Season turning you into a “Bad Mom”?

Is this Holiday Season turning you into a “Bad Mom”?

Over the Thanksgiving mini-break, I watched A Bad Mom’s Christmas, with a glass of wine in my hand to boot.

 

And you know what?!

 

It is so true!

 

As Moms, we run ourselves down until we get S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D and are E.X.H.A.U.S.T.E.D!

 

During the Holidays, we tend to do this much more quickly than any other time during the year. Seriously. Between trying to make every holiday event, wrapping, shopping, and pleasing family members – I don’t blame any mom for reaching for a bottle of her favorite alcohol!

 

So how can you do the impossible and alleviate stress during the Holidays?

 

These tips can help you exhale and allow you to actually enjoy what the Holidays are truly about. Gratitude. For the people, you have in your life to spend this “magical” time with. The memory of those who have passed. Feelings associated with our traditions. Gratitude for everything that is beautiful and worth rejoicing in this world. For faith in something larger than ourselves.

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Tis’ the Season to Give Thanks

grateful

In my past when I’ve thought about THANKSGIVING; I’ve always thought about history, family, good food and being thankful for what was immediate in my life. Good friends and family, etc.

 

Now that I am older and wiser -  I think about what it means to be grateful. I think about where I am in my life. At this time.

 

When I think about how gratitude feels for me now…

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Why the Silence?

heather-lopez-why-the-silenc_20171110-132748_1

Sexual Assault is a violation that occurs in many different forms with the side-effects lasting a lifetime.

 

So, why does a victim stay silent at all?

 

I think it is easy to look at someone’s situation or circumstance and pass judgments based on what you would do. Because it is easy to say if…  then I would …

 

However, thinking about a circumstance or a situation and playing out the scenario in your head is extremely different than having lived it and experienced it for yourself firsthand.

 

Violations of this degree go far beyond the physical act. The victim is left with permanent emotional, physical, and psychological scars. Meaning that once the act itself is over, it isn’t over for the victim. The victim often re-lives that act repeatedly because of the multiple ways to which the violation impacts them. Leaving them with more than one could imagine, to learn to cope with.

 

Probably one of the most common reasons silence occurs is fear. But fear confines us all in different ways.

 

And a victim stays silent for several other reasons:

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Gratitude - A Friendly Reminder

Heather-Lopez-Gratitude

The other day I had a conversation… Well, I listened to her as she talked via this awesome app called Marco Polo. It probably has been around forever and I am just now getting into the shoestrings of it.

 

What can I say? I am not a techy.

 

Anyways, the app is a way to keep in touch with people in a more personal way than texting or even sending a pic of yourself on your latest adventure. You record your message and the recipient can listen to it whenever they get a chance and actually see your darling face! It is like having a real conversation with a real person.

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Girl Power!

HeatherLopez_GirlPower

POWER!


The
Power to be definitive in who we are.
The
Power to take control of our lives.
The
Power to fulfill our dreams.
The
Power to follow our hearts.
The
Power to take a chance.
The
Power to Become.
The
Power to change.
The
Power to lead.
The
Power to do.


The
Power to become a part of something larger than ourselves.

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Saving Someone from Suicide

saving-someone-suicide

September is Suicide Prevention Month and it is coming to a close but suicide prevention shouldn’t stop in September.

 

Recently, I watched the Netflix series: 13 Reason’s Why, created by Brian Yorkey and a slew of other talented directors, producers and writers, including Selena Gomez. It was based on the original novel written by Jay Asher about a teenage girl who commits suicide.

 

The series follows each character (high school students) throughout their days, but not in a way that glosses over what teens really face on a daily basis. Instead, it forces the viewer to take a deeper and often uncomfortable look inside what really happens during what can be the most difficult years of our lives. The heavy topic of suicide and the intricate details that lead up to that point of no return were emotionally transpired onto film and while the series received some slack for its graphic depiction, I applaud everyone involved with this project for the rawness and truth that was portrayed.

 

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At the corner of fear and forgiveness

At the corner of fear and forgiveness

Many have memories of fun-filled afternoons, family vacations, weekends loaded with laughter and wise knowledge being passed from an idealized parent.

 

What about the others?

 

The children who shy away from light because they are strangely comforted by the darkness.

 

How about all of the once innocent children, now struggling adults, who hide inside the shadows that dance along with their lives.

 

Not every childhood memory is warmly filled. Many are chilled with ice as sharp as knives. Pain that swallows them alive.

 

What about them?

 

Those that get denied and pushed aside. The ones that we choose not to see because it makes us uncomfortable or forces us to face our own darkness.

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Balance a Real Thing?

tightropebalance

Balance a real thing?

Ever feel like you are a tight rope walker who will plummet to the ground if you make the wrong step?

It may be a bit drastic but many of us feel a similar feeling of overwhelm when it comes to balance in our lives.

What is the perfect balance? What does it even mean – balance?

Every day in this repeated cycle of vicious sameness. We build our lives on this precedent of what success means, what it means to be happy, what it looks like according to the messages we receive hidden and openly from society. The empty ramblings hidden in all of the voices speaking to us at any given time.

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Living with Anxiety

Living with Anxiety

We all have secrets.

I have a closet full of them. One of which is living with anxiety.


But you would never know by glancing my way.

We hide behind layers and layers of ourselves out of fear. Fear of rejection, judgment, and not being accepted for who we truly are. So, day by day we filter out this or that. Contort and twist. Until we look into the mirror and no longer recognize the person staring back.

I'll never forget the first time it happened or any other times that followed.

 

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