Adapt Adapt Adapt: An Important Key To Life!

When it comes to living a happier life, adaptability is a key ingredient. I see its value all the time – whether it’s with my kids, my coaching clients, or through my own experiences. The messages are all around us: “expand,” “go with the flow,” “detach from outcomes,” “let go of resistance” – all just slightly more esoteric ways of asking us to be more adaptable and accepting of our current situations.

Accepting ‘What Is’

So much of our ability to adapt depends on accepting where we are in our lives. If we can accept the reality of our situation, warts and all, rather than fighting against it, it frees us up to move forward with creative solutions.

To this end, I love reading the bedtime story, You Get What You Get by Julie Gassman, with my kids. One of the lines in the story, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit,” has become a popular family mantra. It’s a great reminder to my children about the importance of accepting ‘what is’ and adapting to the way things are when life takes an unexpected or unwanted turn. We can all take a page from this children’s storybook.

Financial Fears: Claim your personal power & your dream job

In my last blog, we talked about financial fears and conditioned belief systems. Did you take some time to visualize yourself in that future you desire? When it comes to a job, it can be scary to make a move. Even if we aren’t happy, we’re still getting that paycheck, right? Well, you can have both the joy and the paycheck. Let me share a story of someone who faced this job situation head on.

Someone close to me was in a good job. It was stable, income was decent, she liked most of the people she worked with, but her dream job posting had come to her attention. She found out that they were considering three people inside the company for the job. She would be the only outsider considered for the position. It would have been easy to give into her fears and do all that negative self-talk of the low odds of her actually being picked since she didn’t already work there or have any relationships with those she’d be interviewing with. Blah, blah, blah….. I told her that was a bunch of hogwash. If you believe it, then it will be true.” She felt like the underdog, she was younger, an outsider and she didn’t have as much experience.

Financial Fears: Let go of old belief systems and conditioning.

Who’s got them? My guess is most of us. They come and go over time, sometimes with more intensity and sometimes less. Why? This comes from our past conditions in the families and communities we grew up in. We learned emotional response systems from those we started our lives with and continue to attract those that reinforce those belief systems. We’re more stuck in our daily groves, with the appearance that it is harder and harder to change the more time flies by.

I’m here to tell you, anything can happen, no matter what age you are, how many failures you’ve had or how many people are counting against you. All you need is the real you to show up…and to recognize why these patterns keep persisting in our lives.

Think of it like this; years ago, I was watching a cooking show. Not one with a huge celebrity chef but a show that brought in everyday people to share their family favorite recipes that had been passed down for generations. This young woman in her early 20s was picked and she was so excited to share her great grandmother’s baked ham recipe. As she prepared the food on live TV she was very methodical going through things step by step. The host that day asked her, “Why are you cutting both ends off the ham before you put it in the oven?” The young woman responded, “I’m not sure, that’s just how we’ve always done it in our family.”

As she continued preparing the ham to go into the oven, the host was still perplexed as to why she cut off the two ends of the ham, and then tossed them into the garbage. The host challenged the young woman. She said, “Can we call your Mom and ask why you cut off the edges and throw them away?” Of course, the young woman agreed. They called mom and she said, I’m not really sure, let’s call grandma. “Grandma, can you tell me why we always cut off the ends of the baked ham when we do our family recipe?” Grandma stated, “I don’t know, that’s just how my mother taught me.” Her great grandmother was still alive and the host asked if it would be ok to make this third phone call to great grandmother to solve the mystery.

Great grandmother was happy to take the call, at age 92, and said, “Oh sweetheart, I cut the ends off the ham because the pan I used for years was too small to fit the whole thing.” Can you believe it? Really! Four generations this recipe got passed down and they were cutting off the edges of the ham and throwing them in the garbage all because great grandmothers’ pan was too small. Crazy!! This is a simple example of how patterns stick in our lives and we don’t even know why and ask if the reasoning is even relative to today.

Shift From Disappointment

If you want to knock yourself out of alignment – mentally and emotionally – dwell on your disappointments. Keep replaying in your head what you should have done. Don’t let yourself accept that promotion you were passed up for. Continue to hold onto shame and judgement about the way your divorce physically manifested itself in your life.

And never, ever forgive yourself for the mistakes you made one, three, five or even ten-plus years ago.

Because, you know what, you deserve that. You deserve to have a cloud hanging over your head for the rest of your life about the way you handled the disagreement you had with your sister a few weeks ago. Good things shouldn’t happen to the kind of people that say things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. And all the time you wasted when you were younger dating the wrong people, pursuing the wrong career and building relationships that ended up being exactly the opposite of what you needed? That time wasn’t well spent because it’s not like you learned anything for those experiences.

Align Your Spending with your Heart Space

There’s a lot to be said about a person who listens to, adheres by and acts according to their gut. For a lot of us, that gut feeling isn’t enough to make a decision. We need facts. Research. The probability of something bad happening. So we exercise restraint when it comes to our most valued decision‐making assets: our intuition.

When was the last time you made a choice that resulted in something negative? Maybe you took a job opportunity that you thought would pan out differently ‐ even though you had a feeling that it may not be a good idea.

As women, we are the masters of ignoring our gut and instead going with our heads. And as a business owner with a financial practice, I understand that there is a time and a place for using your head over your heart when it comes to help with money. I practice conscious spending for myself and I teach that to my clients. But I also stress the importance of aligning your spending with what’s in your heartspace.

Having it all: is it possible?

Some women just seem to have it all, don’t they? Great family, supportive friends, an ideal job situation, the perfect house, and a great wardrobe and hair to go with it. And somehow, they manage to make it look so easy.

Materially speaking, there’s a big focus on ‘having it all’. Often, we are judged by the number of things we possess with our character being a distant second. We envy those women who seem to be swimming in successful personal, professional and financial lives; and we’re left to constantly wonder how they do it.

But there is a misconception here. Especially in today’s world of social media and keeping up with a perception that may not even be someone’s true reality. Maybe those you wish you could be more like are swimming in debt from keeping up appearances. Or others whose “dream lives” you wish you had are killing them inside from stress and anxiety.

To truly have it all, you must refocus your attention. Energize the things that money can fuel, not the material possessions that money can purchase.

Get On And Stay On The Path To Financial Abundance

As a financial advisor who believes in building financial abundance from the inside out, it’s my hope that everyone discovers financial happiness by opening their eyes to the possibilities of a new reality– a reality filled with a combination of prosperity and inner peace. Below are some of the financial insights I have learned over the years by really digging deep and understanding my clients.

•  Be true to yourself–Answer this question: What is the most important thing in your life? Is it your spouse, kids, siblings, parents, your health, career, hobby, pets? Now think about how you are currently living your life. Are the two consistent? Many of my clients live a life of inconsistency and they could manifest happiness (and wealth) much faster if they had listened to their inner compass.

Make Room for Financial Grace and Abundance

Financial grace is all about creating space in your life to live in the present moment and plan for your desired future. Being happy with where you’re at and where you’re going by aligning your finances in accordance with your life goals.

This however, can be difficult when your cash flow and energy is spent on past choices, like credit card debt. Our lifestyles often pigeon-hole us into a position where we feel stuck. We are surrounded with feelings of stress, regret and worry because of the heavy pressure to make up for our past financial choices.

Let’s choose to make it our mission to make decisions that empower us and help us to regain our personal power with money. Financial grace can only be achieved when we create physical, mental, emotional, and financial space to allow the positives to flow gracefully to you.

A Reason To Celebrate Today

When you look over the past twelve months, what is the first thing you feel? Joy or frustration? Accomplishment or disappointment? Excitement or dread? Or is it a combination of two or more of some opposing feelings?

Life is full of peaks and valleys, so it’s completely normal to look back on your past and have mixed emotions. Bad days, weeks or months eventually make way for the good times. Taking all of that into account results in a year recognized only in moments – major moments that changed your life for better or worse.

Whatever it is you are feeling now about the past, present, and future, I want you to take a moment to do these three things:

• Make peace with it.
• Embrace it.
• Plan to either grow or change it.

If you look back on the previous twelve months and only see a succession of choices that resulted in negative outcomes, make peace with it.

• Maybe you lost your job.
• Took a big risk that left you in the red.
• Went through a nasty divorce.
• Lost a loved one.

Whatever happened, find a way to make peace with it. If you’re still struggling to get back up from bad experiences, don’t get too down on yourself. We all heal at different paces. Remember, life isn’t a race. Take the time you need to lick your wounds. Cry. Get angry. And when you’re ready, make peace.

The Spirit of Giving

For 11 months out of the year, we focus our energy on working, raising the kids, maintaining our relationships – both romantic and platonic, and trying to live as balanced a life as possible.

In the midst of juggling all of these responsibilities, we go through periods of neglecting and/or feeling neglected by our significant others; feeling under-appreciated by our immediate family; emotionally and physically distanced from our closest friends; disappointed with what’s going on at work; and disconnected with the most important person of all: ourselves.


Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, we find ourselves adding time, energy and money exponentially to all the people we didn’t get to spend as much time with as well as the ones who are the most important. We celebrate the season with countless holiday parties, grab bags and Secret Santa gifts. Ugly sweater parties and “catch up” drinks with friends we rarely get to see.

Define Your Life

We’ve all met this person: all they can talk about is their professional life. How busy they are at work. Their latest promotion (or their quest to get one). Their job title. All of us know someone who is defined by their job. Sometimes, this person is a lot closer than we think.

It’s us.

Does your job define who you are?

It’s quite easy to get caught up in the career trek; we do spend the majority of our waking hours working. And when we’re not working, we’re thinking about work. Stressing about work. Wondering if a work project will get approved. Hoping our boss doesn’t give us a bad performance review. Wishing our work paid us more but too afraid to go out there and ask for it.

The thing about letting your job be your definition is this: the money you make from it now dictates your life. You must start to unplug from a job you don’t want – yet defines you – and begin to search for a job that will nourish your authentic self.

Making change long-term

I’m a firm believer in making small changes each day to make it to your ultimate goal. It’s no secret that our daily habits define our short- and long-term outcomes. But I also think that sometimes we need to look at the big picture. To get to where we want to be, considering our long-term goal helps us determine our daily actions.

After the “honeymoon”

A lot of us make the decision to lose weight or spend less and save more. And the first two weeks – the honeymoon phase – we are making huge leaps towards our big goals. Our motivation is sky high; we avoid possible temptations and we smash through barriers and view our mistakes battle scars. Nothing will stop us from achieving that big goal.

Planting The Seeds For Your Financial Success

Springtime brings out the gardener in all of us. Driving by a packed Home Depot parking lot this week it made me wonder if people are putting as much energy into planting and nurturing their “financial gardens”.

With the state of the economy today, it is my hope that we all take a look at our financial buckets: Long Term, Mid Term, and Short Term savings. This is the perfect time to make sure that these buckets are positioned correctly and are aligned with what your dreams, desires, and goals are.

Make sure to set Financial Intentions along with those goals. If your money is not providing you with what you want in your life, you need to change the energy surrounding it, and intentions will help to shift that energy. You can set an intentions like...

”My long term bucket is in place to make sure I can retire at age 55″.

“I’ve got my short term bucket in place so my family and I can take that trip to Disney in a year”.

“I choose to increase my cash flow monthly.”

Don’t worry about how grand or specific your intention setting is. As you build your confidence by setting your intentions, and begin witnessing the desired results, you will move up to the next level.

The Power of Choice to Reset Intentions

Few things are more powerful than choice. The decisions you make in your life determine the path you take each and every day. Made the wrong choice? Retrace your steps and choose a different one. Not sure what choice to make? Weigh the options and take the leap in one direction or the other. Overwhelmed by the array or lack of choices? Take a deep breath, step away from it and regroup.

Choice is, quite literally, at the center of everything you do in life. And this is a known fact. Every moment of every day, we have to choose something – anything, in some cases – in order move forward in life. Why, then, do we constantly choose things that will impact us negatively? And how do we stop doing that?

The holiday season is upon us, which means holiday spiced coffees, the excitement of spending time with family and friends and the beginning of that yearly holiday spending spree. From holiday travel plans (those flights aren’t going to pay for themselves) to Secret Santa’s to making sure there are enough gifts under your own tree, this season brings so much joy – and so much stress; especially for those prone to charge now and pay – and stress – later.

I am reminded time and time again that it is critical that no matter what is happening in our lives, we need to adapt.  None of us our given our life’s roadmap to follow.  Life can be messy, confusing, and not what you expected.  See, that’s the whole challenge.  We expect.  We attach ourselves to outcomes that aren’t necessarily in our best interest, or on our soul’s path. 

I hear and read things that tell us to:

1. Do what’s most expansive. 
2. Get in the flow of your life.
3. Detach from outcomes.

My mission is to help financially heal the world. I help people to remove the shame blame and judgment from money. People become numb to sliding a credit card. They know that financially they've done things wrong, and they want solutions.
  

We as human beings do not take our emotions out of our money decisions. The only way to build wealth is from the inside out.

Why do we not do things that make us feel good? It’s that old adage, “Misery loves company” and we get trapped in living a life that we never thought we’d be living. I have found so many times that we stay stuck because financially we’ve pigeon-holed ourselves into lifestyles, marriages, family expectations, and all those “stable jobs” we think we have.

This week, a good friend of mine reminded me that the world we live in is a world of mastering lessons, not to fix the world or yourself. Interestingly enough, we all come from a place that we are going to fix this and fix that when in reality, it’s actually just about the lessons to be learned.

Why do we give away our personal power over to money? So many of us in this world are trapped by our lifestyles and the debt we chose to take on. All this does is keep us in a cycle that is never ending, a cycle that completely disempowers us from the greatness that we are and came here to be.