Day after day, I have people who come to me because they feel stuck in their relationships. Although their circumstances may be unique, their themes are common. They:
- Become masters at avoiding or denying what’s really going on in their relationships or household,
- Numb out with food, alcohol, or work so they don’t have to feel their pain or resignation,
- Pacify their partners because they don’t want to upset them and deal with their wrath,
- Tolerate situations that are intolerable, unhealthy, or just soul-crushing,
- Stay in the relationship because they have fear of leaving and the unknown.
They desperately want support in breaking free from their non-serving patterns and behaviors and are ready to do the work necessary to create a shift.
Although initially most think they are doing the work for themselves, which they are, they soon realize that their commitment to change is much bigger than they are. They realize that the dysfunctional patterns which they are exhibiting, experiencing, and enduring in their relationships and household have been in their family for generations and will more than likely remain in their family for generations to come unless someone has the courage and desire to cut the cords of dysfunction that are woven into the fabric of the family.