Standing In The Uncertain

I've Been Thinking...

Can you believe that on this day many years ago (although not that many years ago), people lined up to get the very first polio vaccine?

Seeing the picture above really made me stop and think this week. It made me think about the life-saving work being done by scientists and researchers as they toil in small rooms for years trying to find a cure that will one day help us all. It made me think about the importance of investing in this type of work. It also made me think about how often history feels like it repeats itself. 

The other day, a friend said to me, "I’m so over 2020! It’s nothing like I thought it would be." 

That, my friends, is an understatement! I don’t think any of us thought we would find ourselves here. None of us could have predicted that we would be sheltering in place this spring. The 26 million Americans who have now filed for unemployment also couldn’t have predicted they would find themselves here. 

We couldn’t have imagined that we would be waiting in long lines and standing six feet apart to get into supermarkets, just to buy the essentials. We couldn’t have imagined that we would be waiting to get tested for a disease that most of us had never even heard of a few months ago. I’m sure none of us would have thought that our country would have been so ill-prepared to fight this pandemic. I know I didn’t.

What's Really Essential?

The other day, I found myself thinking and reflecting on life as I took an evening walk through my neighborhood.

“When this is all over, what will I remember?” I pondered to myself. “What thoughts and images will be seared into my brain? Who will I be when I am no longer told to stay at home?”

Will I go back to the same schedule I had before? Will my work and voice in The Sunday Paper be needed now more than ever, or not at all? Will my work at NBC News be the same, or will it change now that every show has been cut back? Will I go back to being on a plane all the time, rushing from coast to coast?

Will my work at The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement survive in a post-pandemic world? Will people still want to fund research into women’s brains when millions of Americans are struggling to eat and pay their rents or mortgages? Will people want to be educated about brain health and Alzheimer’s prevention when one of their most pressing concerns is protecting themselves from the coronavirus? I wonder. 

Take Care Of The Now

I've Been Thinking...

Happy Easter and Passover to you!

I know many of you are not feeling very happy at this moment. I know this is not the way you wanted to celebrate the holidays and for that I’m really sorry. I know millions of our fellow human beings are feeling anything but celebratory today.

Many of you have been separated from loved ones. Millions of you have lost jobs. (The numbers are so staggering I can’t even wrap my mind around them.) Many of you have also lost loved ones. You’ve been forced to say goodbye on the phone or attend funerals, like I did yesterday, on Zoom. (I gotta say, I never thought I’d experience that. But it was very moving, very special, and weirdly comforting.) I know so many of you are anxious, mad, scared, and ready for this all to be over. I know.

There's No Going Back

I've Been Thinking...

This was the week when it really dawned on me that life is never going back to “normal.” Well, at least it won’t be the normal we knew just a few short weeks ago.

It wasn’t any one thing that made me come to this realization. Let’s just say there were enough different things this week that brought me to this place. The rise of infections. The doomsday predictions that the worst is yet to come. The pictures of makeshift hospitals and funeral homes. The new recommendations to wear face masks if you go out of your house. The rise of domestic abuse cases. And the startling number of 10 million new unemployment claims!

In the last few weeks alone, 10 million people in the U.S. have filed for unemployment benefits. Ten million individuals. Ten million of our neighbors, our friends, our fellow families. It seemed like almost every conversation I had this week involved heartache and loss. The loss of a job, the loss of a business, the loss of a dream, the loss of a friend. And in my own family, the loss of a child and grandchild.

I Need You And You Need Me

I've Been Thinking...

I was catching up with a friend by phone the other day when she said to me: “I need you more than ever right now.”

“Same here!” I replied, without skipping a beat.
 
The truth is, we all need each other more than ever right now. We need each other in so many ways, both big and small. We need to rely on one another. Lean on one another. Trust one another. Be compassionate, understanding, and patient with one another. We need to basically focus on being there for one another the best we can.
 
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about just how tied we are to one another. This historic moment is showing us how interconnected we are. It is showing us how we all have similar needs. And yet, as we live through this big, collective moment together, we are also going through it in very individual ways.

We Are All The Helpers

"...in trying to help others, we might come to realize that compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others." -Pema Chödrön


I've Been Thinking...

The other morning, I awoke early. It was dark outside, and the rain that greeted me the previous mornings had stopped. Now there was only silence at my door.
 

Over the past few days, I’ve tried to stick to my morning routine: Prayer before my feet hit the floor, coffee, meditation/silence, and then exercise. What comes next has been, let’s say, more fluid.

With nowhere to go, I started practicing as if I had to go to work. I got dressed. I got ready. I wrote and practiced “calm, heart-based leadership” for my Sunday Paper team and my Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement crew, both who are also at home trying to stay calm and carry on. I also practiced it for my kids, who have seemed extremely concerned about me, reminding me hourly that I’m in the “vulnerable population“ and that I dare not go out lest I end up in the hospital. In fact my son, Patrick, has moved in with me to make sure I'm not alone. (How touching is that!)

Our Collective Moment

I've Been Thinking...

“We would like the country to realize that as a nation we can’t be doing the kinds of things we were doing a few months ago…” —Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases

That is the truth of this moment and what a moment this is. It’s a moment to listen up, pay attention, and follow the guidelines so that those on the frontlines are better able to do their jobs.

Like all of you, I’ve been trying to make sense of the seriousness of this moment and yet also get some perspective as I’ve lived through many big “moments” in my life. The Cuban missile crisis, the civil rights movement, the Vietnam War, the AIDS epidemic, and of course, 9/11.
 

All of our lives are made up of moments. Some big. Some small. Some inconsequential. Some life defining. Some joy-filled. Some traumatic.

Usually, the moments we experience in our lifetime are deeply personal. The moment you fall in love. The moment your child is born. The moment you get your dream job. The moment someone you love passes away.

It’s rare, however, that we face a collective moment like the one we are experiencing right now. Rarely do we all experience a moment like this simultaneously. 

Follow Your Heart

"The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are." -Rumi

I've Been Thinking...

The other morning, I was sitting on my porch drinking a cup of coffee when all of a sudden, a feeling swept over me. It was one that took me by surprise. I closed my eyes so I could sit with it for a while and really feel it. Then I decided to describe the feeling out loud so I would always remember it.

“I’m doing great,” I said to myself looking around to no one in particular. “I’m actually happy. I’m content. Life is peaceful, life is good.”
 

“Holy moly!” I thought as I sat there smiling. “I’m happy, I’m good.” I could feel myself smile.

Just Because

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." -Lao Tzu

I've Been Thinking...

I was sitting in my office the other day when my daughter Christina walked in and asked me what I was up to.

I told her I was thinking about everything that had happened this week and how I felt about it all. I sat there thinking about how I felt attending Kobe and Gianna Bryant’s memorial service with my son Christopher on Monday. I thought about how I felt on Tuesday as I watched another round of the Democratic debates. (I ended up watching alone because everyone else got up and left, saying “I’ve had it!”) I thought about how I felt about Ash Wednesday, the concept of Lent, and Pope Francis’ challenge for us all to give up “trolling,” or insulting others on social media. I thought about the Coronavirus and the fear, panic, and suffering it's wreaking around the world.

It's Up To Us

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much." -Helen Keller

I've Been Thinking...

I was sitting in my hotel room in New York a few nights ago feeling unsure about what to write this week.

Monday was Random Acts of Kindness Day. Friday was National Caregivers Day. I knew that in some way I wanted to write about both. I knew that I wanted to write about the power of caring and kindness, and that I wanted to honor all the caregivers out there who are doing tireless work to care for others and move humanity forward. I live in awe of their generosity and kindness every single day.
 

Then I watched the Democratic debate Wednesday night, and I was left feeling rather unsettled afterward. In fact, I thought about them the whole next day. I thought about the attacks, the takedowns, and the gotcha moments. I thought about how unkind some of the comments were, and about how the whole thing played out like a heavyweight fight in Las Vegas. I sat there wondering to myself, "How did we get here?"

So many people shared a similar sentiment with me afterward. They told me they feel discouraged. Hopeless. "What’s happening to our country?" they asked. "How do we fix this divide? How do we stop screaming at each other and stop trying to take each other down?"
 

My response to them: the divide can only be closed by us. The screaming and yelling can only be stopped by us. The caring, the kindness, and the optimism we want our leaders to exhibit...well, we can exhibit it ourselves.

The Power Of Acceptance

"I'm beautiful in my way. 'Cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way." -Lady Gaga

I've Been Thinking...

The other day, my son Christopher said to me, “Mommy, you should ask Dwyane Wade to write for your Sunday Paper and share the story about how his family is handling his child’s transition. It’s super cool and inspiring.”

My son is a basketball fanatic, but he’s also one of the wisest, most empathic individuals I’ve ever met. When he was little, people would always marvel at his empathy, his kindness, and his loving nature. They would congratulate me for raising a young man like him, to which I always replied: “Thank you, but I had nothing to do with it! He was just born that way!” And that’s the truth.

Let's Get Loving

“I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." -Paul Coelho

I've Been Thinking...

My first love was the horse pictured below. Her name was Miss Buck, and I loved her with all my heart. 

Just a few weeks ago, my brother sent me this picture—one I’d never seen before. When I saw it, I was reminded of what love feels like and looks like. Love feels safe. Love feels secure. It feels restful. It feels like home.

Do you know what love feels like to you? Several years ago a friend asked me that very question. I distinctly remember pausing, as I was quite sure no one had ever asked me that question before. It moved me and rattled me all at the same time.

Love is like that, isn’t it? It stirs up so many emotions. It can take you to the highest place imaginable, and then break you into tiny pieces. Your heart can be full one minute, and empty the next. You can be so hopeful when you are in love, and yet so full of despair when you feel unlovable.