Sometimes your viewpoint can cause unnecessary suffering. When you see the past as experiences that were done to you, then you become the victim. When you take the stance that that person did this to you, he said that to you, she thought that about you, you view life in a false way. No one is ever doing anything to you. No one has that power. Everyone is showing up exactly, yes exactly as they must show up FOR you; for your evolution and expansion and realization.
This is quite difficult for some to believe, especially if you experienced abuse and trauma at the hands of another. Everything in life is happening for your awakening. It is you that places a limited judgment upon it and by doing so you set limitations upon yourself. These limited judgments disempower you. No one can disempower you except yourself. It is a choice stemming from the viewpoint you attach to your past.