We’re visited by negative states so often, most of us have come to take them for granted as an expected part of living.  Such as:

“Yesterday wasn’t too bad, but today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I’m in a bad mood. I feel a little down, probably because my boyfriend didn’t respond to the text I sent him at 3:00 in the morning. But,isn’t that natural?”

Having frequent bad moods is common, but that doesn’t mean it’s natural.

Blaming your boyfriend – or anything else – for the way you feel is also common. It’s the answer you give yourself to the question of why you’re in a bad mood this morning.

But here’s a more important question: What’s the real reason why I’m in a bad mood so often?

The Answer to Why Our Bad Moods Are So Frequent

Just as with anything else we spend a lot of time with, we spend a lot of time in negative states because we value them.

Do the holidays delight you, or do they fill you with dread? For many people, the holidays are fraught with emotion and difficulty. 

Whether it’s enduring mealtime with a dysfunctional family or facing feelings of loss and loneliness, the holidays can be stressful and disruptive to your body, your emotions, and your routines.

Emotional baggage of past holidays and unresolved issues between family members can turn holiday gatherings into disasters. While you may or may not be able to resolve issues with others, you can take steps to heal your own emotions.

Energy healing tools such as The Emotion Code® are designed to help people let go of Trapped Emotions, emotional baggage from difficult and traumatic events. Working on yourself, or with a certified Emotion Code practitioner, you can identify troubling emotions that have become lodged in your body and release them forever. This makes it easier to forgive others, and yourself, so you can celebrate the season with greater joy.

In addition to clearing emotional baggage, here are additional tips to make the holidays more joyful, calm, and bright:

Nearly everyone I know right now is grieving someone or something.

The number of critical illness diagnoses, family and friends dying from cancer, love lost, and so much more seems to be at epic proportions.

The other day I found this beautiful post on my Facebook feed and felt compelled to share it all of you who may be in state of grief. I hope you find some solace in this.

Living with a Broken Heart by Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief”

Remember what the Tin Man said in the “Wizard of Oz” after he finally got a heart….

“Now I know I’ve got a heart because it’s breaking.”

What is behind the fear of unwanted change? The uninvestigated mind says that I’m going to sustain a loss: "he's going away," "the business is slipping," etc. The fear of loss is connected in our mind with the image of what had previously given us the feeling of succeeding. So now here’s reality, and it's pretty different than our image of what should be, and we’d rather live with the image than look at reality. But the fact of the matter is, we can see clearly now that something "bad" has happened to us and there is this sense of loss.

Why is that loss so traumatic to us? Because that loss, if it's real, means that we’re going to have to literally reorient ourselves to life. That's why we don't want the loss. It’s because the present relationship that we have imagined defines us in our world. We are defined by our relationships, and if a relationship starts to change, the way we’re defined in life and the way we know ourselves starts to change. And we don't want that. We don't want anything we have imagined to be real to show us that it's not, because the super-structure of our self as it stands is rooted in this imagined life from which we derive these feelings of security as we imagine ourselves in it.

Release Repressed Emotions to Feel Better Fast

Have you stopped to think how much your emotions influence your health and well-being? I discovered this myself in very dramatic fashion about 15 years ago.

Like many women, I was exhausted, frazzled, and over-committed while caring for my family — but I wasn’t caring for myself. I kept pushing hard, and pushing down my emotions. Depression and apathy had a grip on me that I couldn’t shake. I did not realize how much I was suppressing my feelings until it hit me like a lightning bolt one day.

Inner peace and joy are spiritual gifts. The gifts of spirit enter the heart when we make the choices we need to make to be available to them. What are these choices?

Presence

Peace and joy exist in this present moment - not in the past or future. If you are in your left-brain ego programmed mind - your wounded self - you are likely thinking about the past or the future with a desire to have control over something. The moment you are out of the moment with a desire to control, you cut off access to the spiritual gifts of peace and joy, as well as to the gifts of love and truth.

Gratitude

The heart needs to be open in order to receive the gifts of spirit. Nothing opens the heart faster than deep gratitude - gratitude for your life, your soul's journey, for the body your soul lives in, for the food you eat, for friendship and caring, for shelter, and for anything else that you are blessed with - eyes that see, ears that hear, arms, legs, health, and so on. Being truly grateful for your particular blessings opens the heart to the gifts of spirit.

Kendra had been depressed on and off for the last three years before consulting with me. "I've tried various medications and they help somewhat, but I still feel depressed. I've tried psychotherapy and it also helps a little but not enough for me to feel happiness or peace inside. I hate feeling this way and I just don't know what to do."

The first thing that I did to start Kendra on her Inner Bonding journey was to help her create a personal source of spiritual guidance. I asked her to make up a being who was very loving, wise and powerful to whom she could turn, in her imagination, for help and guidance. Kendra made up an older Indian medicine woman whom she called Elder One.

Next I asked Kendra where in her body she felt the feeling of depression. "In my heart and stomach. My heart and stomach often feel so heavy and sad."

"Kendra, imagine that your feeling self, the part that is presently depressed, is a child within. How old is this child?" She told me she thought the child was around six.

We all feel sad, lonely or depressed from time to time in our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one or a disappointment we’re facing, feeling a heaviness at life for a period of time is natural. When that heaviness and lack of energy becomes our constant state of living however, we may be experiencing a more serious form of depression.

If you feel this constant state of depression in your life, you are not alone. In fact, Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults. (Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun; 62(6): 617-27).

When you look at depression through the lens of Energy Medicine, there are many techniques you can use to help alleviate the symptoms of depression and regain a sense of vitality and joy in your life once again.

Depression is Stuck Energy

Quantum science teaches that everything in all of creation is energy – including you.  In it’s natural, unobstructed state, energy is meant to be constantly moving, especially inside the human system. However, we as humans, have the ability to shut down that energy flow when we worry, get angry or experience other undesired emotions.

The biggest epidemic in the world today is loneliness. That feeling of being unloved, unloveable, alone… 

Technology has created a world that continues to become more connected... more crowded...  

and yet increasingly lonely for so many.

This persistent feeling is not just emotionally painful, it can damage your relationships, career and even your health. Lonely people tend to sleep poorly, experience depression and anxiety and have reduced immune and cardiovascular health. 

Research also tells us that chronic loneliness makes you increasingly sensitive to rejection and hostility. In uncertain social and work related situations, lonely people immediately think the worst.  

Lonely people also pay more attention to negative social information like disagreements or criticism. They tend to remember more of the negative things that happen and fewer positive things. 

The past year has been full of hardship for Americans as the pandemic caused widespread illness, deaths, business closings and job losses. Even those who have not experienced illness and economic hardship have had to deal with an increased sense of isolation and loneliness.

The emotional toll has been particularly hard on young people who have lost the chance to learn and socialize in school, healthcare workers facing trauma and burnout, nursing home residents and those who live alone. But no one has been untouched.

It’s hard to gauge at this point just what the overall, long-term impact will be, but many people will face long-term emotional scars from the loss, trauma, and struggles they have endured.

When we have an intensely difficult experience, the emotions we feel should fade with time. But sometimes they’re just too much for us to handle. In these cases, our bodies may hold onto those negative energies in the form of what many call “emotional baggage.”

We call these emotional energies Trapped Emotions, unresolved feelings from difficult and traumatic life experiences. These lingering emotional energies can damage our mental and physical health, relationships, and overall sense of well-being. Their harmful effects can be exacerbated during difficult times like those we have faced since the pandemic begin.

I’ve just realized something: this past week or so has been FULL of examples in my life showing me how important it is to be in a place of acceptance when it comes to things you cannot control.

If you haven’t noticed, we suffer when we don’t actually accept the things arising in our lives. When we’re fighting against things outside our own control, we end up triggered and often miserable, unable to achieve the financial abundance or deep personal fulfillment we do desire.

This has been made so clear to me this past week that I want to share a bit more of what I mean…

Why Suffering Cycles Happen

I don’t care what topic we’re talking about: acceptance is an essential step to getting yourself out of suffering cycles and on your way to achieving the financial abundance and deep personal fulfillment of your dreams.

A lot has happened here in the United States and I want to do my best to help support you in the place that you are in … knowing that everyone is in a different place … that everyone feels a little bit differently because of a different perspective, different experiences, a different frame of reference … and that’s how it’s meant to be.

Let’s talk today about the pain, the sadness, the fear, the anger, the overwhelm, the frustration, the nervousness so many people are feeling and being activated by what they’re witnessing.

You may be one of those people that are feeling disappointed in the human race … or disappointed in who we are, disappointed in the way that people are showing up, or feel heartbroken or have a heavy heart.  I want to take a moment first off to tell you that whatever it is you’re feeling … wherever the things that you are witnessing and experiencing are taking you … you have a right to those feelings.

Loneliness around the holidays has always been an issue for some of us, but the coronavirus outbreak has widened the reality of this struggle to include more people than ever. Before the pandemic hit, a study reported that more than 60% of Americans grapple with loneliness. After lockdowns and stay-at-home orders were issued, about a third of Americans reported feeling even lonelier than usual.

Now, nine months into the pandemic, with the holiday season in full swing, coronavirus numbers are on the rise — and so are the stay-at-home orders to combat that surge. How can those who already struggled with loneliness in normal times deal with the increased isolation? How can people who usually rely on companionship with loved ones during the holidays cope with this new loneliness-inducing reality?

Today is a good day to be happy. No matter what is happening in the world (or your own personal world), joy is your protection and purpose right now. 

Joy is one of the highest vibrations we can experience on Planet Earth. Fear is one of the lowest vibrations. During these turbulent times, fear is trying with all its might to seduce us into believing we must worry, fret, and stress over the current conditions in our world.

“How can I not stress?” you might wonder. Yes, the world as we know it appears to be crumbling in complete chaos. But do you know what is really happening underneath the surface? Fear is being shaken out. Hidden deception, corruption, and inequalities are coming into the light, so they will no longer be tolerated. Truth is rising to the surface. Underneath all the chaos, positive change is awakening like the sun rising and shining upon the entire earth.

Sometimes we can feel discouraged because our past efforts have never prevailed over what challenges us, so why try now? Or perhaps we are disheartened because one of our main hopes for happiness suddenly proves itself to be hopeless. Maybe we get downcast in the day because our body, or our mind, is no longer capable of doing what it once could in younger years, and all we see on the horizon are more limitations.

The point is -- when it comes to these dispiriting states -- it makes no difference what they say is the cause of their punishing presence within us. The truth is that these dark states find the cause they need to inhabit us right from within the content of our own past experience! What does this mean?

When you know in your heart that you must keep going but your feet just aren’t getting the message, self-understanding can open and carry you through doors that self-insistence cannot. The key to leaving behind our self-created and self-limited world is found in our willingness to keep going, even when it “feels” like something bad is happening to us or that we’re going “nowhere fast.” The idea of quitting or turning back is the unfortunate option that occurs only when we have an incomplete understanding of any given situation. This is where higher self-knowledge becomes so important for our real inner progress. 

I have selected a few quotes related to The Power of Despair from my One Light, Many Reflections collection. Savor each idea by having three or four breaths between reading each quote to contemplate and expand the meaning to yourself.

“If you are curious how to find pure love, I recommend going to a place within yourself that is so despairing all you want to do is die and then find something you are willing to live for.” Will Hale 12-8-14

“It is easy to die for what you believe in but it takes real courage to live for what you love.” Will Hale 5-24-14

“The emotions of grief come in two tones, the agony of loss and the joy of gratitude, both come from love.” Will Hale 12-15-12

“You can’t really kill yourself, because the part you can kill is not yourself.” Will Hale 12-28-14

Strong anxiety frequently triggers fight-flight-freeze, our survival brain’s strategy for dealing with threats. This can become a trance that dominates our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and deepest experience of who we are.

This talk explores how we get caught in this reactive trance, and ways of calming anxiety and radically shifting our way of relating to the experience of threat. The gift is discovering an inner freedom in the midst of life, and the capacity to respond to what arises with love-in-action.

There’s so much going on around us these days. Does it feel like we’re almost in this surreal experience? An out-of-body experience? I can only imagine what it’s like for those who are feeling all of this anger and sadness about what’s going on. As with most of us, it’s been a challenge for me to know the best way to navigate this time but there’s something I’m super clear on…

Anger Comes from Sadness

I learned from one of my teachers that anger is a deeper version of sadness, and that rage is a deeper version of anger… which is also sadness. I experienced a lot of anger and even rage as I was going through the last parts of my marriage, which  actually seems really small compared to what's going on today, but I think it can help us understand a little. 

I really learned that this anger and rage I was feeling was telling me something. It was revealing how sad I was. So if you’re feeling a deep sadness or you’re in a place of rage and anger and you’re super triggered… ask yourself, “Why am I sad?” Don’t simply live with anger and rage. Question yourself, “Why am I sad?”

It is important to understand what it means to be in the wrong place. The right place isn't just where your body is sitting. Have you ever been in the right place physically, paid a lot of money to go there, and then sat there resenting the fact that there was pulp in your orange juice? You can be in the most exquisite spot in the world and at the same time be inwardly in the most exquisite fear, worry, or pain, despite what you have put together for yourself. When we're in the wrong place inwardly, it simply doesn't matter where we are outwardly. 

What is it that must take place in our life so that we can begin the process of recognizing the simple truth of that idea? The most beautiful truths, are the simplest ones. Our problem is that we just don't know when we're in the wrong place. We can be in the wrong place even while thinking we're in the right place.