Back down memory lane. There are times you have to go back before you can go forward.
Jubilation, awkward times and growing pains; some memories fill your heart with warm contentment and others you’d rather forget.
A foundational period that molds and shapes your thoughts, behavior and contributes to who you become.
You are on the receiving end of your caregiver’s conditioning, thoughts and idiosyncrasies. Implanted in your impressionable mind are inherited beliefs and responses that can become both beneficial and detrimental throughout your life.
Time passes, you get older, and you capitalize on opportunities to shape and form the person you want to be.
But something is missing…
Something doesn’t feel right…
You want to be free. You want to go forward without the weight of the past.
But the choices you make going forward, and the person you’re becoming, can only be as free and clear as your past. If you haven’t revisited and resolved your past it will continue to be a part of your present and future.
The behaviors, define you.
The thoughts, limit you.
The unprocessed emotions, keep you stuck.
You can’t freely, fully, unapologetically go forward without first going back to heal and clear. Going back down memory lane and unlocking the doors to the rooms that house your memories is not only needed, but also necessary for your progress, growth and evolution.
In going back you can integrate who you were and where you came from, with who you are and where you’re going. Going back is the tool that propels you further forward. It gives you freedom and releases you from past memories that are internally holding you hostage.
If you’re at a place in life where your life patterns are repeating themselves and you feel lost, unfulfilled and stuck; it’s time for a visit back down memory lane.
You’ll meet the child there who still needs to be heard, to be held, to be loved and to be appreciated in order to infuse with you going forward.
There is no way around it. You have to feel, process and embrace your past in order to unlock your future.
So, where do you start?
The beginning step is a willingness to openly and objectively view your past with the curiosity to understand how events, memories and people have factored into who you’ve become.
You must possess a desire to heal and free yourself. You have to be willing to bring awareness to your self-defeating patterns, tendencies and behaviors. When you observe them, instead of blindly continuing the cycle, ask yourself where does this behavior come from and why do I do it. Be open to authentic self-inquiry to find the root of the behavior.
Working to heal your past is the key to unlocking internal freedom and the vast capacity of your future. If you’re ready you don’t have to do it alone. There are resources and professionals that can assist you. One individual that has done some great work in this area is author John Bradshaw. I recommend his book, Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child, as a good starting point.