It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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4 Mindfulness Tips for a Healthy Marriage

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When we get married (or enter a committed romantic partnership), we hope for peace and love to rule the day, day after day and year after year. Because life presents difficulties, our peace can be shattered and our love may be in danger of dissolving. Just as mindfulness helps us to sit with the challenges of daily life and appreciate what is present, it can help us to appreciate our partners and sit with the hard moments that inevitably arise. Though we can’t avoid the problems, when we practice mindfulness in our relationship, we can handle difficult moments with compassion and love, rather than resentment and anger.


At first, practicing mindfulness in a marriage may feel uncomfortable or unnatural. Eventually, as you plug your practice into your daily routine, it may feel easy and wonderful! Just remember, there is nothing wrong with you if you have challenges in your relationship. When two people come together, there will always be places and moments in which they seem to clash. The objective is not to avoid problems altogether, but to create a practice that allows you to sit with these hard times and manage the difficulties together in compassionate connection, so that you can repair the rupture and move forward together with kindness and love.

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Sacred Warrior: PRESENCE

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Ernest Holmes was a Sacred Warrior. He spoke what he believed, and the world benefited immensely.

While attending a well-known garden in California and viewing and experiencing all the beauty around him, he came upon a struggling little plant. Ernest went up to the grounds keeper and said, “Hi, I am Ernest Holmes, where are the people in charge?”

The young man looked somewhat puzzled as he pointed to the offices on the second floor of a large building. Ernest instructed him to get the individuals in management to come and see him. In a few minutes, a few men came walking towards Ernest in their suits and ties and Ernest said, “Hi, I am Dr. Ernest Holmes and I would like to know what you are doing about this little plant?” The men looked somewhat baffled, but suddenly located a water hose and some fertilizer and began to take care of the little plant.

When the efforts were completed and the men had left, Ernest went over to the little plant and knelt down. He said, “I told you I would take care of you, didn’t I?”

The power of life is everywhere and in everything like plants and all living creatures. Ernest knew the intelligence of life is all around us, and as a Sacred Warrior he changed people and circumstances at depth. A Sacred Warrior is called to service in day-to-day life. More often than not the Sacred Warrior is willing to speak what very few are willing to say.

The Sacred Warrior possesses a willingness to honor the deep connection to the Divine, while at the same time no longer driven by an energy or desire to fit in with what is the norm or maintain the status quo.

This article is an excerpt from my new book: Being A Difference Maker: A Guide For Living Life Out Loud. 

Loving Life,

 
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173 Hits

Stillness of the Heart and Soul

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The nonstop noise of the external world often keeps us from experiencing the quiet at the core of our being. There, a timeless eternal presence without sound or language awaits us, a connection to something greater than our individual, seemingly short lives. Outer distractions, both audio and visual, continuously surround us from our TVs, laptops, and cell phones and prevent a deeper relationship to all of life. Traffic sounds, machinery, and loud voices in nonstop conversation interrupt our peace of mind, even if we don’t consciously recognize the dissonance. Yet, something within each of us does know something is amiss and longs for an absence of sound within which we can feel calmer, more centered. How do we get there?

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Do Freely

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What are you doing?

The Practice:
Do freely.

Why?

Most people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one’s teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the “labor-saving” devices of the past 50 years – dishwashers, phone machines, word processors, etc. – most of us are laboring more, not less. For example, in terms of employment, the average workweek in America has gotten longer over the past 50 years. Meet someone and ask how he or she is, the answer is likely: “busy.” Doing is a huge part of life, yet we don’t usually bring much awareness or wisdom to it.

Sometimes doing feels good. There could be a sense of flow in everyday activities, pleasure in your own skillfulness or competence, or fulfillment in helping others.

But often doing feels numb, or worse: on your feet for hours, grinding through repetitive tasks, zipping from one email to another, worried about performance, pressured and driven. In America and elsewhere, the relentless pace of stressful doing gradually wears down mental and physical health, and fuels conflicts with others. It’s a big problem, with many costs.

How does your own doing generally feel for you?

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Pandemic Parenting 101: Don’t Forget to Prioritize Your Own Wellness

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It has been a long road through this pandemic reality, and even with some very promising corners turned, we are not through it yet. Many parents have been navigating these strange days simply by doing all they can to keep their children’s lives on track — even if that means neglecting their own well-being. If that sounds familiar, this article is for you. Your wellness matters, and putting yourself last all the time isn’t ultimately doing anyone any favors.

We all want our kids to be happy. We want them to thrive, and we want to protect them from undue strife or struggle any way we can. But here’s the thing: If we all lived by that saying, “You’re only as happy as your least happy child,” we’d doom ourselves to a lifetime of limited joy. Until we take our happiness into our own hands and unhook it from our kids, we won’t experience the grounded sense of peace and joyfulness we crave with any consistency.

4 Ways to Set Your Happiness Free with Mindfulness

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How Can Cannabis Promote Mindfulness?

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Mindfulness, although an old age concept, has quite become mainstream lately. The University of Massachusetts was the first to introduce a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), ever since mindfulness has been a point of interest for many researchers. Over the years, many pieces of research and anecdotal studies have documented the benefits of mindfulness on our physical and mental health.

While practicing mindfulness techniques is relatively straightforward, it may not be as easy to incorporate as they may seem. It requires you to maintain awareness of the internal and external environment by keeping your thoughts still. For beginners, it may be pretty overwhelming to preserve the stability of feelings and emotions. Hence an external aid like cannabis can be quite beneficial. If you wish to explore how cannabis can help with your mindfulness practice, here is a brief of everything it does for you.

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60 Seconds to Mindfulness Meditation

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Most of us wish we had more time in the day for the things that make us feel healthier and happier. It can be challenging to figure out where to squeeze in these things that we treat as “extras” — as wants more than needs. Consider this your official invitation to move anything that makes your experience of life better (aka self-care!) into the “needs” column. And while you ponder how to make that work globally in your life, I have an incredibly simple way for you to get started.

If you have 60 seconds, you have time to squeeze a mindfulness meditation into your day. Practicing mindfulness helps us go through our days with more calm, grounded energy and less reactivity when things get chaotic. It’s a beautiful, simple practice, and here’s the great thing: You can do this anytime, anywhere. 

Being out in nature might be most relaxing — and I highly recommend you make time in your life for that on a regular basis — but you can also do a mindfulness meditation at your desk in the middle of your workday, in traffic on the highway, or while making yourself dinner, just for example. 

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191 Hits

Easiest Path to Daily Mindfulness Practice? Add It to Your Morning Routine

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We all lead busy lives, even in a pandemic (or for some, especially in a pandemic!). So when it comes to wellness practices we want to add to our lives, it can sometimes feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to add one more thing. Well, I’ve got some good news: Adding mindfulness to your day is much easier than you might imagine. It’s as simple as adding it to your morning routine.

5 Ways to Bring Mindfulness to Your Morning Routine

Mindfulness is a simple, accessible practice that can help you stay calm and grounded throughout the day. The more you practice, the easier it gets to tap into mindfulness instead of reactivity when things get stressful. Here are five ways to build mindfulness into your morning routine without skipping a beat.

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5 Ways to Ease Stress with Mindfulness

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Each April, we acknowledge Stress Awareness Month as an opportunity to reflect on the stress we experience, and the tools we can use to ease it from our lives. One of the simplest, most effective, and most accessible stress reducers at our disposal is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is present moment awareness, without judgment. You might notice sadness, anger, or grief arising, and mindfulness allows you a little distance to feel the feelings. Then, you may choose to focus your attention somewhere else in order to ground yourself in a more wholesome state so that you feel less suffering and more ease. You can direct this mindful awareness toward anything! The key is that you are choosing what to focus your mind on, rather than allowing unbridled thoughts and emotions to take over and dominate your attention.

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Maxed Out and Exhausted? It Could Be Empathy Fatigue

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Caretakers the world over are all too familiar with feelings of being stretched too thin from time to time as they nurture, support, and protect those they care for. Many others, though, are experiencing similar feelings for the first time during the pandemic. Whether you’ve been stuck at home caring for children 24/7, caring for an elderly or disabled loved one, or even “caretaking” your colleagues and your business as we all navigate this unusual time, you may have hit a wall of empathy fatigue.

What Is Empathy Fatigue?

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Mindfulness Practice: Opening Up To The Possible!

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Your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs create the landscape in your mind that you call “here.” The challenging element is that it’s not fixed. Even while you inhabit it, it is changing based on your perception. 

Your inner landscape reflects your feelings and the thoughts that are connected to them. 

Two people can encounter the same situation and have completely different reactions based on their own history and stories. For instance, one person sees a picture of the Eiffel Tower and feels excitement and romance because it’s where their partner proposed. Another sees the same picture and feels sick to their stomach because it reminds them of the trip to France that led to a romantic breakup. Same photo, two very different responses rooted in their own individual experiences. 

The ground beneath you, the atmosphere around you, and the energy within you can all shift in an instant as you react to what you perceive as happening in your life. 

Past or Present? It’s Hard to Tell…

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The Superpower of Mindful Witnessing

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The capacity to witness what is happening inside us with a non-judging attention allows us to respond to life from our full intelligence and heart. This talk looks at the role of witnessing in spiritual practice, and how we can cultivate this superpower in a way that reveals the light or spirit that lives through all beings.

“Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled—
to cast aside the weight of facts

and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking

into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing—
that the light is everything—that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and falling. And I do.”

Mary Oliver

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Small Lift

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Our job while here is threefold. First, like a mountain that is steadfast in meeting the elements, we are called to face the wear of time, so we can reflect and endure the truth revealed. Some say this is doing nothing. If so, it is a noble nothing that in time reveals everything.

Second, like a river that is relentless in how it carves its path to the sea, we are called to bring what is true into the world. Some say this is our vigilance for justice. If so, this is a noble doing that in time honors everything.

And third, like a tireless seeker who finds God in the smallest pebble, we are called to care for everything in our way. Some say this is impossible. If so, this is the noblest errand of all—to go nowhere like a mountain and everywhere like a river until we turn nothing into everything with the small lift that some call love.

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The Law of Unity

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The LAW OF UNITY is a foundational principle in my life.

I enjoy discovering the obvious. Personal experience has always had the most meaning for me.

Historically there is a belief it is possible to attain oneness or transcend material experience.

Awareness of the Unity of all creation is this same oneness.

Everything is Oneness. We cannot be out of oneness. We cannot journey to oneness if that is where we already are.

Distinctions can be made in basic dictionary definitions of Oneness and Unity.

ONENESS - the fact of being one single thing.

UNITY - a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one.

When one catches a glimpse of duality in the many forms of the manifest world as Unity in wholeness, duality reveals the beauty of Oneness in Everything.

The Law of Unity was originally called The Law of Alchemy.

EVERYTHING IS SACRED, NOTHING IS SPECIAL.

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Your Peace Is All Peace

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Sometimes there is not a word for what I want to describe. I have made up many words for my own use like, Thrival, Beditation and Heartfulness.

Expansion and contraction tend to be considered opposites. From my experience there is something other than contraction I call INSPANSION.

Expansion is often an increase of growing wider and larger.
Contraction is generally considered a decrease, restriction or withdrawal.

Just like how we can have an expanded awareness usually related to the mind, we can also have an inspanded awareness with our heart.

INSPANSION is inward growth, going deeper inside, coming more into yourself. Inspansion is manifest oneness.

Inspansion is not a limitation like contraction. It is complete and all inclusive acceptance.

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Loving and Losing: The Best Gift of All

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Did I miss something?” asked Martha, her hand raised in the Hollywood Squares of my Zoom mindfulness class.

“What do you mean?” I inquired.

Well, we were having this relaxing and lovely meditation experience and now we are all of a sudden talking about death and dying, so I want to know… did I miss something?”

Wow. I looked at the faces of the human beings that have grown so close these last nine months as I listened to Martha’s question and imagined fear, maybe even anger arising in her. Although I had compassion for her discomfort, I had no problem answering her by saying, “Yes, actually. You missed loving connected presence. You missed the fact that we are here to support each other for whatever comes up.”

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Hang Out in the Present Moment

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I had to laugh when I saw a cartoon some months ago. (If you haven’t seen it, I shared it on my Facebook page: It showed three booths at a Spiritual Fair. One of the booths offered “Past-Life Reading” and another touted “Future Telling.” Both booths had crowds of people in line clamoring to get their turn.

The middle booth, however, had no customers whatsoever. The sign above it read: “Meditation” and the lonely person manning this booth kept desperately trying to wave people over, saying “Present Moment anyone?”

How true is this? We yearn to discover more about how our past has shaped us and we can’t wait to find out what’s in store for our future. But for right now, we’re more inclined to shake our heads and say: “Uh-uh. No thanks. I’ll pass.”

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Bless

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Wishing well?

The Practice:
Bless.

Why?

Lately, I’ve been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over time.

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Only the Present Mind Is Without Fear

meditate When your mind and heart are truly open abundance will flow to you effortlessly and easily.

In stressful times many more people feel fear than in normal times. What this means is that an ability to be fearless becomes more essential than in normal times. How is that accomplished? Being fearful is a skill you can master. It doesn’t require any of the things society falls back on. You don’t have to be tougher, stronger, more of a man (if you happen to be a male) or call upon a strong man for help (if you happen to be female).

In reality you only have to be present, because in the present there is no fear. At first this sounds wrong, because when you experience worry and anxiety, the most common types of fear, they hit you here and now. But here and now isn’t the same as the Present. Here and now describes clock time. If you are waiting for a bus and it is five minutes late, once it arrives, it is here now. The present moment, however, has nothing to do with clock time. The present is a state of mind, and in fact is the most natural state of mind, the state your mind wants to be in.

One of the key concepts in my new book, Total Meditation, is that the mind will return to the present effortlessly if given a chance. Even though “living in the present” has become a popular phrase, most people still approach it as a kind of spiritual challenge that requires them to intensely focus to make sure they stay mindful and present. This is the mental equivalent of balancing a penny on the end of your finger. The penny naturally wants to topple over unless you exert an effort to keep it balanced.

The active mind can feel like that. When fear and anxiety are roaming the mind. Balance seems difficult. In reality it’s not. Fear, despite its unique power, is just another mental distraction. Distractions can also be pleasant, as we all know watching a movie, and the active mind finds them very useful, because when you are distracted, you get a vacation from the endless stream of thoughts and feelings that the active mind must deal with.

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Mindfulness as Self-Care: 5 Soothing Tips

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Ups and downs are a natural part of life, but the roller coaster of emotional realities we’ve been riding lately calls for us to pay special attention to our well-being. If you don’t have a self-care routine in place, or you’re looking to refine or refresh the one you’ve got, allow me to recommend the simple yet powerful practice of mindfulness.

Mindfulness can help us offer ourselves some much-needed love, compassion, and peace of mind as we continue to navigate the realities of the ongoing pandemic. Here are five ways you can use mindfulness to comfort yourself, even amidst chaos.

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