There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved? 

There are two ways to heal the lack of touch – with another person, and within yourself.

Were you deprived of comforting holding as a child? I was. I was held by my mother, but the energy of her touch was so needy and engulfing that I hated being held or touched by her.

Babies and toddlers especially need warm, tender, caring, comforting holding and touch to know they are loved and to help them learn to regulate their feelings. Without this loving physical nurturing, they feel deeply rejected and abandoned.

How can we heal this yearning for the nurturing loving touch that we might have missed out on?

Brandon asks:

“When I try to get in touch with my anger, the thought comes up “my mother.” I think I didn’t get touched, cuddled, and caressed as a child. Here I get stuck! I draw a blank. I don’t know what the next step of the Inner Bonding process is.”

There are two ways to heal the lack of touch – with another person, and within yourself.

Rest

Busy, busy?

The Practice:
Rest.

Why?

This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I’ve been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it’s filling with new tasks.)

Sometimes you can really feel what you need to do by feeling what’s happening for you when you don’t. “Don’t,” that is: ease up, unwind, recharge, put your feet up, take a load off, just chill. Because when you don’t rest, you wear out, wear down, and start running on empty. Then you’re not much good for yourself or anyone else.

But when you get some rest, and get more rested, you have more energy, mental clarity, resilience for the hard things, patience, and wholehearted caring for others.

I promised my wife this would be my all-time fastest JOT to write. Because I really need some rest!

And you do, too.

How?

4 Easy Tips to Get Inspired & Rejuvenated

How do you get inspired and keep that inspiration alive, especially during tough times? First and foremost, you need something bigger than you to be inspired about. I think we are all born with a deep and meaningful purpose that we have to discover.

Your purpose in life is not something you need to make up; it’s already there – you just need to discover it.

And when you do, when you really discover what you’re meant to do, it will be the reason you get up in the morning.

Finding Your Life Purpose

Prior to discovering your life purpose, it’s easy to become sidetracked, or feel uninspired, or feel like you’ve accomplished very little.

But, what if these feelings are simply feedback that you need to keep going, keep searching, keep discovering?

What if it’s the universe reminding us not to settle for mediocrity, to continue experimenting for the one thing that lights you up?

I also believe we’re all born with a set of talents and interests that tell us what we’re supposed to be doing.

The Power of Asking for Help

It takes real courage to ask for help.

Pretending you don’t need it is a sure sign of weakness.

When you are truly strong, you can allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is not weakness, rather it is strength.

It takes a strong person to acknowledge they need help.

It takes an even stronger one to ask for it.