It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Meeting Racism, Homophobia and Close-Mindedness With Love and Compassion

our-style-is-influenced-by-our-upbringing-picture-id1179747953 Meeting Racism, Homophobia and Close-Mindedness With Love and Compassion

Hate, negativity, close-mindedness — none of this is new. Being heavily tattooed with big holes in my earlobes, a skateboarder and a fan of punk/hardcore music since my teenage years has left me all too familiar with judgmental people, especially growing up in a small town before these things started to become somewhat socially acceptable.

Disapproving looks, comments under the breath, or, in some cases, blatantly to my face, have been commonplace throughout my life and have led me time and again to contemplate why people feel the need, or, that they have the right to cast judgments and write someone off based solely on outer appearances or personal lifestyle choices.

There’s really no simple answer. Each person is a unique individual with a unique set of circumstances that has led them to become the person that they are today. One thing I’ve learned about myself however, and my own judgments (because yes, I too am human and have no shortage of them), is that they’re almost always rooted in fear.

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Share The Calm, Dampen The Panic

calmlandsape Share The Calm, Dampen The Panic

In order to combat the Fear Virus and negativity that can be so prevalent, I’ve been making it a practice to think about positive aspects of our current situation. Not to downplay the very real struggles that people are having, but in order to put myself in a space where I can bring my best to those around me. 

One of the things that I’ve been thinking about is how we’re now using tools like technology in new ways. I just read this article in Wired magazine about this very thing. The global challenges we’re all facing have forced us out of “life as ordinary” and made us find new ways of being, including new ways of communing. 

And that’s exactly what the founders of the Internet had envisioned: The idealism that we could use this extraordinary tool for positive social connection, for support, for enhancing each other’s lives. Isn’t that so much better than just using it to have political flame wars on Twitter? (Don’t get me started on Twitter…!) More and more of us are now using these tools to build something positive, something helpful, something uplifting. 

This time has also helped me personally evaluate the role I want technology to play in my life. I can’t just say, “I’m not going to go online.” It’s an essential part of our lives, especially right now. While we can’t spend all day online — that’s just not healthy! — we can be very intentional about what we choose to allow into our environment. For instance, I have no tolerance now for negativity. None. My goal is to create a collective community where everyone feels safe and supported, and that is positive and meaningful. 

That doesn’t mean we don’t make space for people who are hurting and are scared. You are so welcome here. I’m sending you a huge virtual hug. I want you to know that you are not alone. 

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Shaking is Meant for Shifting

concerned-healthcare-worker-looking-through-a-window-picture-id1215311167 Shaking is Meant for Shifting

For me and many of the people I’ve spoken to who are part of the stay-at-home population, it feels like one day is rolling right into the next with not that much changing in any given 24-hour period.

Of course, if we’re working from home or home-schooling our children or are caregivers for our loved ones, the details of each day are numerous and ever-changing.

But it’s the general tone of the day that I’m speaking about... 

I’m wondering about that question mark that’s hanging over the planet.

What is this shaking up of the world as we know it ushering in? 

What will our personal and collective lives look like in a few months…

And in a few years?

Though there have been a few other pandemics over the last hundred years or so, never before have we experienced the repercussions of a pandemic like the one enfolding the whole of the planet today. 

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Tips to Create & Maintain Healthy Mental Health Habits Vital during COVID-19

homeoffice Tips to Create & Maintain Healthy Mental Health Habits Vital during COVID-19

With the recent mandates to maintain social isolation, people are more stressed than ever before. Anxiety and panic are plaguing people who have previously managed stress with ease. Marriages that were stressed are now straining under the weight of so much “togetherness”. Professionals are trying to find ways to manage a new normal as they work to create workspaces in their homes, sometimes with kids around. Parents are trying to tackle the rigors of homeschooling. People living on their own are feeling isolated and lonely.

Being under stay-at-home orders provides an opportunity to focus on embracing simple disciplines that can change our health and happiness for the long haul. Refuse to get stuck in the traps of social distancing: staying up late, consuming too much food, alcohol, television and social media, sleeping in, and letting the day go by without a structured plan or schedule. By throwing all discipline out the window in a stressful time, you lose a unique opportunity to trade unhealthy habits for healthy ones that could change the trajectory of your life for the better.

By adopting healthy coping skills, people can find greater contentment and peace. Creating and implementing new schedules or sticking to familiar routines can give people a sense of stability and security, thus reducing anxiety. Finding ways to connect with others in meaningful ways electronically can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness, thus reducing depression symptoms. Practicing mindfulness can lead us to feeling grateful and encourage greater levels of happiness.

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A New Fearless Self: Living The Life Of Joy & Freedom

fearless_self A New Fearless Self: Living The Life Of Joy & Freedom
Stress is building up everyday. In the days of the Pandemic, when the entire Globe has come together in terms of their own existence, when individuality has stopped having a meaning, when people have come to understand that, now all their petty issues have submerged into the common pool of human existence.

Life itself is the only issue that has meaning, all else comes later. Humanity has come to understand that only when there is life, only then the concept of issues has a meaning and relevance.

FEAR RULES THE HEARTS

With the influx of messages from the media, fear is looming large in the lives of most people. In the average man, who has been conditioned to believe that his life revolves around making money. He is at a loss on how to do his daily activity amidst the current environment.
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Emotional Intelligence: Escaping the Matrix of Fear

Emotional Intelligence: Escaping the Matrix of Fear Emotional Intelligence: Escaping the Matrix of Fear

For many young people, the COVID virus outbreak will bring their first experience of fear and anxiety as a pervasive mood. As a society we are afraid of fear, and most of the time we can turn our backs on it. But this kind of denial is unworkable in a crisis. As bad news mounts daily and society becomes ever more anxious, countless people become enmeshed in the matrix of fear without knowing how to escape.

Social forces can drive you to participate in the matrix of fear, but society cannot get you out of it. Escape is something each person must confront on their own. I believe that freeing yourself from fear and anxiety is possible. More than that, you can learn how to be free of fear long after the COVID crisis has passed.

The key is to cultivate emotional intelligence. The term had a burst of attention some years ago, but the value of emotional intelligence never changes, and when you focus on it, you will achieve something worthwhile for life.  Here are six principles to guide you through the process.

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Be Home

home Be Home

What’s your deepest nature?

The Practice:
Be home.

Why?

Throughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad?

When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting state. This is a sustainable equilibrium in which the body refuels and repairs itself and the mind feels peaceful, happy, and loving. I call this the Responsive mode. In a sense, this is our “home base,” our fundamental nature as human beings. (Obviously, I am not talking about the physical location where a person lives.) We are still engaged with the world, still participating with pleasure and passion, but on the basis of a background sense of safety, sufficiency, and connection.

But when body or mind are disturbed – perhaps by overwork and fatigue, or by the cough of a nearby lion a million years ago or a frown across a dinner table today – Mother Nature has endowed us with hair-trigger mechanisms that drive us from our resting state. Fight-flight-freeze systems in the body get activated, and related experiences of fear and anger, disappointment and drivenness, and loneliness, shame, and spite occur in the mind.

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Find Your Voice

motherdaugher Find Your Voice

This week I noticed a theme that I picked up on during conversations with various people I thought I’d bring to you. I noticed there was a recurring discussion about speaking the truth, using your voice in a powerful way, and dealing with the consequences of what happens when you don’t speak out of fear.

Authenticity requires you to use your voice with a certain veracity– telling the truth, the absolute truth. Finding your voice takes courage, especially if you were raised to be seen and not heard, or you had to fight to be heard, or you were punished for telling the truth. Maybe all these things were implied while you were learning how to fit in, before finding out who you wanted to be.

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Transformation Is Possible - It Is Already Here

transformation Transformation Is Possible - It Is Already Here

The one thing in life that never changes is change, or so people say. But in reality we all experience a struggle between accepting change and resisting it, trying to make things different and yet feeling an anxious need to keep things the same. This struggle is what makes personal change so difficult. We can’t make up our minds once and for all how we feel about changing.

 

If change is so difficult, how can there be personal transformation, upon which the whole movement of human potential is based?  It takes vision and commitment to believe that such a thing is even possible. Most people have mixed feelings about how their lives are going. “Taking the bitter with the sweet” is an old saying in English dating back to the 13th century, but it expresses a universal experience in every society.

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475 Hits

Take The Streets! The Success Of Global Protests

protest Take The Streets! The Success Of Global Protests

I’m in Colombia on my annual trip to the Kogi and will be in Guatemala in January with a group to visit the Mayan shamans and their sacred sites. I’m struck by the magnitude of popular demonstrations in Latin America. I’m also impressed by the millions of people around the planet who are taking their grievances into the streets. 

Half of the Latin American countries have experienced large-scale demonstrations – mostly peaceful – during the last few months. Protest movements also are sweeping nations as diverse as France and Iraq, Sweden and Lebanon, Iran and Hong Kong. 

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Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020

Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020 Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020

When you think about your intentions for 2020, is sexuality on the list?

Do you honor your sexuality as vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose? 

Many people think of sexuality as insignificant and separate from the rest of their lives. Some put sex (or solo self-pleasure) last on their to-do list. Others forget about it completely.

Sexuality is far more than what happens in the bedroom (or occasionally on the kitchen counter).  

Your sexuality impacts every aspect of your life, including your career, money flow, health, and spirituality. Honoring your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020.

My journey has been living proof that sexuality matters. Before I honored my sexuality, I was a workaholic who smiled on the outside yet secretly struggled with an eating disorder, severe self-doubt, and health issues. I was sad, single, sick, and stressed.

Embracing my sexuality helped me heal and create the life I wanted. With the help of my sexual energy, I healed long-standing health issues, manifested the romantic relationship of my dreams, transformed body image issues into body confidence, and created a thriving business that I love. And best of all, I now feel confident, happy, and free.

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How to Bring the Love Sooner

How to Bring the Love Sooner How to Bring the Love Sooner

We all know what it feels like when we go into a new experience. A gathering of people we don’t know, some kind of new job that we’re employed in, or some kind of social situation where we don’t know the people, we don’t know the circumstances, et cetera. There is a sense of tension in the body because we don’t know how we’re going to be received. We’re afraid we won’t know what to talk about or we’re not sure that we’re going to be liked by others. We’re not sure that we’re going to be able to relate to the other people or be able to shine in the situation the way that we know we can.

Creating a Story

When the mind is in an uncertain place, it starts to rattle, and it starts to look everywhere for something to lock in on to feel more secure. When this happens the mind has a tendency to go into stories and judgments. It may judge the other people in the situation, or it will start to judge the self. It does this all in the attempt for the mind to have something upon which to focus.

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How To Stop Caring What Other People Think About You

group-of-hands-with-pointing-finger-picture-id174850257 How To Stop Caring What Other People Think About You

You have no control of what other people think about you.

The only control that you have is over yourself, and how you respond.

Your responsibility is not to make others happy but to be yourself fully.

People’s opinions of you reflect more about themselves than about you. So don’t take it personally. Just because they judge you a certain way, or have a negative opinion of you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

It’s just their opinion. It’s their perception, and perception is not reality.

Our perception is a projection based on our current level of consciousness which is determined by our conditioning and experiences.

So make peace with who you are, and who you aren’t. The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will seek it from others.

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1563 Hits

Be your SELF not your selfie: The reality about our story on social media

taking-a-selfie-picture-id898834578 Be your SELF not your selfie: The reality about our story on social media

How many of you have taken a selfie? If you have, raise your hand. Okay, I can’t really see you raising your hand but I’m pretty sure most people had taken many selfies. In fact, in the past I took many selfies even before they were called selfies using my camera’s self-timer (yeah millennials, go ahead and laugh), all because of Facebook. That was around 2007 before it exploded to having more than 2 billion daily users. It was back on the day when updating your status was still done in the third person and the newsfeed was called the Wall. These days, even my 68-year old mother takes selfies to post on Facebook. So yeah, we all have done it.

 All these years, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with social media. I’ve deactivated my accounts many times in the past and stayed offline for years. The superficiality of it all really bugged me. I am the type of person who would rather have a handful of close friends instead of a big circle. But the person who introduced me to Facebook is the type of person who “collects” friends because, as she puts it, “You’ll never know when you need them.”

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How to Dream a New Story for Your Life

How to Dream a New Story for Your Life

What negative story do you tell other people about yourself over and over? Most of the time when we repeat our “shadow narrative” we aren’t aware of it, we can’t see that the telling of it anchors the memory deeper into the universe, making it a part of your current condition.

Take a minute to really think about this.  Do you see yourself in your story as always being disappointed by people you elevate? Do you tell a story of the world as a place you need to rebel against? Perhaps you tell a story about being a victim of other people’s issues, or maybe you tell one of you overcoming obstacles, always having to do everything yourself. Help never comes. (Sigh) Or maybe you tell a story of being pushed out, isolated by others, so you can continue to live in an illusion of being a victim, and so you can enjoy vicious gossip to vent your unprocessed anger.

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How can we use our expanding set of opportunities in society to awaken?

How can we use our expanding set of opportunities in society to awaken?

You have been given a great luxury in this society. You don’t have a fixed identity that you’re locked into, because of caste or because of economics or because of anything. You’re free to ask the question, “What do I want to do?” At first, what people do is they say, “Oh, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna…” and then after a while, you realize that perhaps what the game is about is listening and tuning into who you are on a deeper level, and what this birth is about, and your work of life.

Most people in most societies in the history of the world have never had that option to ask, “What do I want to do?” They’ve gone through their life with the feeling of, “If only I didn’t have this, I could be free.” Then you are free, and now it has to come from a different place in you…how to find the way in your life and you go through the period of, “What do I want? What do I desire?” and then you begin to see the kind of hollowness of it. It doesn’t quite resonate deeply enough in your being.

A lot of very wealthy people in this society, that’s where they live; desperately wanting to have something that will justify their existence.

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1810 Hits

A Worldview that Can Liberate Everyone

A Worldview that Can Liberate Everyone

When the world looks as turbulent and troubled as it does now, people feel trapped. Instead of feeling secure in prosperous safety zones, even developed countries now feel the pressure of uncontrollable forces, including stateless terrorism, a historical peak in refugees, the threat of epidemic diseases, and fast-encroaching climate change. How many people truly believe that these problems will be solved—or are even solvable? An erosion of hope is underway, and this more than anything must be reversed.

 

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