The Universe is giving to you in every moment. Air is giving you life. Nature is giving you beauty. The sun is giving you light and warmth. So be bold and dare to ask for what you want, rather than silently suffering, thinking those around you should be psychic and know what you need. In this episode, I’ll share about the power of asking for what you want and the amazing gift in how to receive it.
While still very much an extrovert, I’m an observer by nature, and recently I have been watching the emotional triggers I see happening around me. I get that not one ounce of what’s happening right now is fun or funny, but here’s what’s important: we have to start moving into a place of empowerment despite the circumstances.
We can do this by continuing to dig in and find what is healing and nurturing to ourselves. Understanding your emotional triggers are hugely important if you want to live a life of alignment and real wealth.
Understanding Emotional Triggers
I wrote my first book, The Emotion Behind Money, because I was noticing that the things happening around money really had nothing to do with money itself. It had way more to do with the emotions behind our money. This massive discovery became part of my message, ultimately leading me down this rabbit hole now 15 years later where I have really started to pay attention to the emotional side of money… and people’s emotional triggers.
Feeling LONELY and feeling ALONE.
Any of you felt either of those?
The conversation that I wanted to have today is around the difference between being alone and being lonely.
Being alone means that you are solitary. You are by yourself. You are isolated, you are in a solitary space. There are no people around you.
Being lonely is a feeling of sadness or abandonment or disconnectedness.
Sometimes people use a word that does not really fit what they are trying to describe.
Alone is being by yourself.
Lonely is a feeling that you have.
You can be lonely and be at a big party. You can feel lonely when you are with somebody that you love. My point is that loneliness is the feeling and being alone is the physical-ness of being solitary.
However, you are never actually alone.
We all have angels and we all have guides that are always with us. So, we are never actually alone.
So, if you are struggling with loneliness, that is something that is a feeling versus when you are feeling alone.
And I just want to make sure you understand that distinction.
I don’t know about you but lately it seems that everyone I know is totally stressed out – not just from their own lives but from the “frequency in the field.”
From the racial tensions and the horrific killing of African American men, women and children, to Covid-19 and the global pandemic, along with the economy and money worries, most of us are stressed to the max.
Even if you are safe, and your life is peachy right now, chances are you are picking up on the energies of those around you.
It’s almost unavoidable.
This is why I am such a big advocate for all of us to become daily “pleasure puppies” and find ways each day to consciously choose to reduce our stress levels and add more pleasure.
Today I thought we would talk about how to listen to your body and how to pay attention to what your body is saying. Or maybe the other side of that is … how to know that your body is saying something because you are not paying attention.
Have you had experiences where you know your body is trying to get a point across … and maybe you’re not listening very well, or maybe it just keeps getting just a little bit worse and a little bit worse and a little bit worse?
30 years ago, I read a book that kind of turned my mind around on the separateness between our bodies and our spirits. It was called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. She talked about how all these different physical manifestations meant something on an emotional level … and that you could discover what the emotional level was … and if you worked through those things, then the physical manifestations would be released out of the body.
Who are you, deep down?
Know you’re a good person.
For many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that “I am a good person.” We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically – but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah!
We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once knew a little girl who’d been displaced by her baby brother and fended off and scolded by her mother who was worn down and busy caring for an infant. This girl was angry at her brother and parents, plus lost and disheartened and feeling cast out and unloved. She’d been watching cartoons in which the soldiers of an evil queen attacked innocent villagers, and one day she said sadly, “Mommy, I feel like a bad soldier.”
“When you can meet yourself without expectation and just relax into who you are here and now, others are freed to do the same thing.”
When was the last time you got lost in a good book? Or baked an apple pie “for no reason” and then savored each hot sweet bite? Or spent time in nature … Or sat down at the piano … Or played racquetball … Or consciously did whatever it is that makes you feel a sense of connection and pleasure?
In all likelihood, you were not conditioned to make your well-being a priority, to extend love and respect to yourself. You may have learned to give all your love and kindness to others, making their happiness the barometer of how worthy you were of that same love and kindness.
Love is not about having, needing, controlling, achieving, or getting something. It is about the direct experience of the Essential Self. When you access that internal reservoir, it can extend outward to others with simplicity, compassion, and warmth.
Once there was only one ball, and it hypnotized us. It seemed to cause our joy and pain and our pleasure and misery. It seemed to cause everything, and everything depended upon it. That ball was the world.
Now another ball has appeared, and it has become the new star of the show. The show is human evolution. This new ball is our interior experiences. Previously we did not pay attention to them until they became too painful to ignore, for example, our rage, jealousy, or grief. We never thought about them in the context of our evolution. On the contrary, they hindered our ability to evolve – to manipulate and control ball one (the world). Now ball two (our interior experiences) is more important to our evolution than ball one!
In these challenging, expanding, painful and hopeful times, what can YOU do?
If you are feeling the fear, the sadness, the pain, not knowing what to do, how to show up, what to say or not say … I hear you.
When I went within and asked Spirit to guide me … when I asked Love what it would say, this is what I received. This is my message to me … and I thought it might be of service to you too.
Ask yourself this question: “What Would LOVE Say/Do?”
- Be the Change you wish to see – no excuses. Embody it! Whatever that change is, be it.
- Look within your own thoughts, mind, and heart. Observe your judgments, fears, and anger. Dig into why and where they came from and do what YOU need to do to release and heal them. Get educated, own your errors, step up and help.
- Create Connection, Unity and Oneness. Separation and division are the absence of connection. We as Human Beings are all connected. We are one and we need to stand together and BE ONE! What hurts another, hurts the whole.
- Focus on the actions as despicable, unacceptable, and deplorable; not the person. We each must consider our own past behaviors and know that they don’t define who we are today. This is the same for everyone else. Give some grace and know that we, as a human race, can do better.
When we moved to our home in Colorado 13 years ago, my wife Stephanie and I decided to plant a vegetable garden.
This season we’re growing arugula, cucumbers, peas, radishes, tomatoes, and mint.
Earlier in my life I didn’t feel seen by others. Since I never felt seen by my parents, I figured this was just the way it was in life. While sometimes I felt sad or angry at not being seen, I mostly just accepted it.
However, once I started to practice Inner Bonding and connect with my spiritual guidance, I gradually learned to see and value myself—my true essence. Over the years of practicing Inner Bonding, I grew less and less tolerant of not being seen by others.
I questioned this with my guidance…
“Why, since I now see myself so clearly, it is it still important to me to be seen by others? I thought that if I saw myself, I wouldn’t need to be seen by others.”
Here is her answer to me:
When you experience these emotions, you are not in the high frequency state of peace.
Those feelings are indicators that you have unconscious programs – beliefs, ideas and stories – that need to be corrected.
Is there some aspect of your life that you’re not at peace with?
Have you ever wondered what’s preventing you from living in the high frequency of peace?
The core low frequency blocker to peace is unforgiveness.
Until you activate your soul’s superpower of forgiveness you have set yourself up for anxiety and a whole range of diseases and physical and mental challenges. A Harvard study showed that holding a grudge can kill you.
What have you been stuffing? What have you been noticing? How do you stuff your emotions? What does it look like to you?
Are you noticing what your emotions are? Do you know what it is you’re stuffing in the first place? Is it anxiety? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Is it the unknown? Is it pressure? Is it fear? What is the emotion that you are stuffing?
And then how are you stuffing them?
Food and booze?
Do you not express emotions because you cannot take words back?
Yes, you cannot take words back, but what you can do is move that energy out of your body.
You can move the energy out of your body.
You have a right to the way you feel. I’m not saying you should hold onto those feelings and let them take you down, but I’m saying that you have a right to how you feel and you have a right to express how you feel. BUT it may not be that you need to express it to the people you think you need to express it to.
Because what you need to express is about how YOU feel. It’s not about somebody else.
May is International Masturbation Month. All month we celebrate the beauty and art of self-pleasure (also known as sacred masturbation). Do you allow yourself to enjoy pleasure? Pleasure nourishes your body and lights up your soul.
Your body LOVES to be touched - by YOU. Are you lavishing your body with LOVE?
Self-pleasure is normal, natural, and one of the best ways to light your sexual fire. It boosts your self-love, happiness, health, and vitality.
Waiting on a partner to satisfy you is so out-of-style. You have the power to satisfy yourself! You can bring yourself earth-shattering pleasure and mind-blowing sex through solo self-pleasure. When you exercise that power, it will work magic in your life, including your confidence, health, happiness, career, and romantic relationship.
...... Setting your boundaries with people in your life is never an easy task.
However, in order to do so, you must know who you are and what your needs are.
In my new video, I share some simple ideas that will help you honor yourself and your needs more authentically.
How do you set your boundaries with loved ones?
How do you honor your needs and also set your boundaries while honoring your relationships with others?
In this video, I discuss how to set boundaries with the people you live with so everyone's needs can be met. With everyone on lockdown, this has become more important than ever. You want to use this time to get closer to loved ones, not farther away.
You know what it means to get in your own way, don't you? It is a true phenomenon.
Try to picture this: I'm walking down the street and then I run into myself… how can I run into myself unless I'm divided in such a way that in any given moment I’m on my way to do what something in me says is going to make the moment right, then I run into what the moment says will make it right… and I have a crash?
Here’s a little story to illustrate this idea of getting in our own way:
Do you ever find yourself thinking if only…
If only I were thinner
If only I had been born into wealth
If only life weren’t so hard, then I could be happy.
Dear ones, let me tell you…
That isn’t how happiness works.
In fact, they are low frequency codes that destroy your ability to shift your state in order to feel happy.
We’ve known wealthy people who were cloaked in depression.
We’ve known beautiful people who couldn’t stand to look at themselves in the mirror.
“My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.”
“My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the family and controls everyone. I never see her cry.”
These descriptions of strength do not fall under my definition of ‘strong.’
Strength and Weakness
Strength is reaching a place in your growth where you have the courage to feel and lovingly manage your painful core feelings of sorrow, loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief and helplessness over others—rather than avoiding them with various addictions and controlling behavior.
Weakness is when you are too afraid to feel and learn from your feelings, so you avoid them with substance and process addictions, and with controlling behavior toward others to get them to take responsibility for your feelings. Given these definitions, the above statements made by my clients about their parents are describing weakness, not strength.
Strong people are able to cry—to be moved by things and to cry as a way to release the energy of that strong emotion. Unfortunately, many people were programmed as children to not cry, since their parents didn’t know how to handle painful feelings – their own and their children’s. Many people were even teased, at home or at school, for crying, further programming them to avoid tears.
Do you ever feel as though life is a three ring circus?
So many demands from everywhere for your time and energy…
constantly juggling life’s responsibilities while trying to balance family, self care and career…?
This balancing act can leave even the strongest person feeling like they are walking a tightrope. It leads to stress upon stress that compromises the immune system and triggers unconscious stories that can sabotage your health and ability to have fun manifesting the life you want.
Take a moment to answer each question below honestly:
- Are you eating healthy and exercising regularly?
- Do you spend time learning to master your thoughts, set aside personal and quiet time just for you and meditate or use guided visualizations to train your brain?
- Do you feel close to family and friends?
- Do you love what you do and how you show up in your career?
- Do you feel in touch with your True Self and take time to notice and heed the emotional signals that tell you if you’re out of balance?
- Do you regularly experience well-being, contentment, love and joy?
Now you’ve done that, you have an idea of where you’re at right now…
Your past is responsible for how you’ve been feeling up till this moment!
“The healthier and more vibrant your body is, the more you can express yourself through it and live your dream.”
We often live with the pressure of having a ‘perfect’ body according to the standard created by the media and society as a whole. As a result, this can often lead to shame, self-rejection and even hatred of our body. Listen to this important episode to learn how to love your body and honor this amazing vehicle of your soul.