It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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End the Pain of Getting in Your Own Way

perfect-paintbrush-with-pink-heart-on-white-picture-id1156702512 End the Pain of Getting in Your Own Way

You know what it means to get in your own way, don't you? It is a true phenomenon.

Try to picture this: I'm walking down the street and then I run into myself… how can I run into myself unless I'm divided in such a way that in any given moment I’m on my way to do what something in me says is going to make the moment right, then I run into what the moment says will make it right… and I have a crash?


Here’s a little story to illustrate this idea of getting in our own way:

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You have the power to choose happiness - change your code!

the-ocean-breeze-brings-a-life-of-ease-picture-id1133819651 You have the power to choose happiness - change your code!

Do you ever find yourself thinking if only…

If only I were thinner 

If only I had been born into wealth

If only life weren’t so hard, then I could be happy.

Dear ones, let me tell you…

That isn’t how happiness works.

In fact, they are low frequency codes that destroy your ability to shift your state in order to feel happy. 

We’ve known wealthy people who were cloaked in depression.

We’ve known beautiful people who couldn’t stand to look at themselves in the mirror. 

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What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong

mature-woman-with-cell-phone-sits-by-trail-at-sunrise-picture-id1187808874 What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong
There is a vast difference between the pseudo-strength of controlling behavior and the actual strength of loving behavior.

“My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.”
“My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the family and controls everyone. I never see her cry.”

These descriptions of strength do not fall under my definition of ‘strong.’

Strength and Weakness

Strength is reaching a place in your growth where you have the courage to feel and lovingly manage your painful core feelings of sorrow, loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief and helplessness over others—rather than avoiding them with various addictions and controlling behavior.

Weakness is when you are too afraid to feel and learn from your feelings, so you avoid them with substance and process addictions, and with controlling behavior toward others to get them to take responsibility for your feelings. Given these definitions, the above statements made by my clients about their parents are describing weakness, not strength.

Strong people are able to cry—to be moved by things and to cry as a way to release the energy of that strong emotion. Unfortunately, many people were programmed as children to not cry, since their parents didn’t know how to handle painful feelings – their own and their children’s. Many people were even teased, at home or at school, for crying, further programming them to avoid tears.

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Are you walking a tightrope?

silhouette-of-man-walking-on-slackline-tight-rope-in-the-dusk-picture-id657548446 Are you walking a tightrope?

Do you ever feel as though life is a three ring circus? 

So many demands from everywhere for your time and energy… 

constantly juggling life’s responsibilities while trying to balance family, self care and career…?

This balancing act can leave even the strongest person feeling like they are walking a tightrope. It leads to stress upon stress that compromises the immune system and triggers unconscious stories that can sabotage your health and ability to have fun manifesting the life you want.

Take a moment to answer each question below honestly:

  1. Are you eating healthy and exercising regularly?
  2. Do you spend time learning to master your thoughts, set aside personal and quiet time just for you and meditate or use guided visualizations to train your brain?
  3. Do you feel close to family and friends?
  4. Do you love what you do and how you show up in your career?
  5. Do you feel in touch with your True Self and take time to notice and heed the emotional signals that tell you if you’re out of balance?
  6. Do you regularly experience well-being, contentment, love and joy?

Now you’ve done that, you have an idea of where you’re at right now…

Your past is responsible for how you’ve been feeling up till this moment!


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How To Love Your Body

woman-dances-at-sunrise-in-the-mountains-picture-id942893092 How To Love Your Body

The healthier and more vibrant your body is, the more you can express yourself through it and live your dream.”

We often live with the pressure of having a ‘perfect’ body according to the standard created by the media and society as a whole. As a result, this can often lead to shame, self-rejection and even hatred of our body. Listen to this important episode to learn how to love your body and honor this amazing vehicle of your soul.

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5 Ways to Light Your Sexual Fire for Confidence, Creativity, Love, and Joy

fire-heart-961194_1920-1 5 Ways to Light Your Sexual Fire for Confidence, Creativity, Love, and Joy

Have you lit your sexual fire? Are you feeling alive, vibrant, and TURNED ON in your life? 

Your sexuality is vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose. Awakening to the sacredness and creative potential of our sexuality is the next phase of our spiritual evolution on the planet. 

In my recent article “Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020,” I shared that your sexuality boosts your health, creativity, intuition, self-love, confidence, divine connection, worthiness, money flow, abundance, happiness, fulfillment and romance. Embracing your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020 (yes, even in the midst of a pandemic). 

Now let’s explore what your sexual fire is and how you can light it.

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Listening To Your Body and CHOICE!

gold-fashion-makeup-art-beauty-face-lips-make-up-in-golden-sparkles-picture-id1097030588-1 Listening To Your Body and CHOICE!

I wonder how you are doing with listening to your body while in quarantine and moving through this experience?

Our body is such a miraculous container. It can create miracles in so many profound ways.

And I know that the physical body is getting a lot of attention right now and not all of it is positive.

How are you feeling in your body? How well are you listening to your body? How is your body working for you and how are you working with your body?

Those are some of the questions I would like you to sit with.

It is so important right now to be listening to the messages and the signs and the symptoms that your body is showing you. Your body gives you messages to let you know whether you are in alignment with your thoughts or emotions … or if you’re disconnected and not present.

YOUR body gives YOU insight into everything: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

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How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life

man-at-the-porthole-window-of-a-vessel-in-a-rough-sea-picture-id886706822 How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life
How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life. 

These are challenging times. 

We are all going through the same storm as humanity, but not all of us are on the same ship facing the same experiences. 

As we all go through these moments of uncertainty, some of you might be thinking how you are going to pay your bills this week or this month.

Some of may be wondering how to keep your health and  immune system high. 

Some of you are concerned about your loved ones, children or elderly parents. 

We are all in a different boat but in the same storm and regardless, the storm is the storm. 

And, these are difficult moments. 
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You Are Enough – The Promise

Thepromise You Are Enough – The Promise

The more you achieve and acquire, the more you feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled up

The world—­your parents, your teachers, your clan, your religion—­made an agreement with you. It promised that if you live your life in the pursuit of certain milestones, if you grab the brass ring, if you achieve, you will be happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. You will find fulfillment. You will gain love, respect,and honor. You will have “made it.” You will be accepted. Worth will be bestowed upon you.

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Come Home To The Love Of Your Soul

heart Come Home To The Love Of Your Soul

As we float in a kind of weightless limbo, not sure if we’re celebrating or mourning, one thing is clear: this is different! I mean we’ve all experienced strange times but this seems to pull at the soul in an undeniable way as if calling us back to remember a promise made eons ago.

Faint as it may be, something yet still must die. Feels like a funeral to me. A kind of deep, inner, archetypal mourning for the death of a mixed past filled with love and hate, horror and ecstasy that must be cleared from the cosmic memory in order for the ‘back to the future’ Eden we’ve been meditating on, to emerge.

If the dissolving Piscean Age was a Broadway play, we’re in the last act! Where the actors of the Martyr, Saint, Sufferer scene, having brought so much pain to such innocence, get their due rewards as the audience is freed from that theater and released out into an expanse without borders like judgement or tyranny, once able to suppress a soul, now turned to dust.

I think we’re completing something we began in 2012, our transition from human to divine! Who’s on board?

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How To Stay Free In Love and In Life

lovelock How To Stay Free In Love and In Life

People often say that love hurts so much. It’s not love that hurts, it’s the expectations of our love.

When you hold back what’s natural, loving those around you, it blocks the flow of your heart, the flow of your creativity, of your Aliveness and life force.

You are love. 

Love because it’s your nature.

To love is great freedom.

It’s the most natural impulse of your being.

Love because you are love your self.

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What Does “You Are Enough” Mean?

happy-woman-with-straw-hut-on-beach-picture-id538332160 What Does “You Are Enough” Mean?

“You are enough.”

That short phrase is one of the most powerful I can think of. So powerful that I used it as the title of my new book. Yet, I wonder if you’ve ever really thought about what it means to simply…be enough. 

Society places a great deal of importance on outward success – success in the form of possessions, a big bank balance, perfect relationships, glowing, radiant health, and a secure, high-paying job. Yet, even those that have outwardly achieved immense levels of success still feel as if there is something missing from their lives. They feel as if they ARE their possessions. Their profession is their identity. They depend on their bank balance for validation. 

These feelings of emptiness, dissatisfaction, and sadness occur because those external things can never take the place of your authentic self. In fact, all of the external trappings of success are actually examples of what “you are enough” does NOT mean.

You are far more than your external accomplishments, my dear friends. But from the moment you were born, you have been conditioned to be a unit of production. You’ve been separated from your emotions, been told that you’re too sensitive, that you shouldn’t become angry, that you have no reason to be sad. Your humanity has been denied and you learned that your worth is based on what you can provide. “Work hard!” they said and all will be well. In following that advice, your emotions were disregarded, and you were, essentially, mechanized.

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How To Love Myself? Six Steps to Loving Yourself

How To Love Myself? Six Steps to Loving Yourself How To Love Myself? Six Steps to Loving Yourself

Practicing these Six Steps are essential for learning how to love yourself and share your love with others.

Imagine that you have a baby and you want to be a loving parent. One of the things loving parents do is keep a baby monitor on when their baby is sleeping or in another room, so they can immediately attend to their child as soon as he or she cries.

Step One – Your Inner Baby Monitor

Step One is having your inner baby monitor on, which means that you practice being present in your body, which is where your feelings are, rather just focused in your mind – so that you know immediately as soon as you have a feeling that needs attention. This is especially important right now with all the challenges we are facing on our planet.

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Managing This Challenging Time As A Loving Adult

young-mother-and-son-playing-together-in-public-park-picture-id1084289756 Managing This Challenging Time As A Loving Adult

Emotionally and Spiritually

Please be very kind and gentle with yourself. It’s very important to not allow your wounded self to scare you, because our main line of defense against the Coronavirus is our immune system, and stress erodes the immune system.

Start by acknowledging to yourself that this is a very challenging time. Imagine that your intention is to soothe a scared child, rather than further scaring the child. This is the time to stay open to your higher guidance and bring comfort and compassion to your inner child, especially if you feel anxious. It’s also a time to reach out to friends with whom you can connect – on the phone, or via Skype or Zoom. While it’s important to stay home and not be around people, it’s also important to stay connected with the people whom you can support and who can support you, especially if you are alone.

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Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Don’t Beat Yourself Up Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Are you hard on yourself?

The Practice:
Don’t beat yourself up.

Why?

A previous JOT – admit fault and move on – was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves.

Most people know their less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, or an annoying tendency to rattle on about pet interests. We usually know when we make mistakes, get the facts wrong, could be more skillful, or deserve to feel remorseful.

Some people err on the side of denying or defending these faults (a word I use broadly here). But most people go to the other extreme, repeatedly criticizing themselves in the foreground of awareness, or having a background sense of guilt, unworthiness, and low confidence.

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5 Self-Love Tips to Improve Self-Esteem

free-and-happy-woman-raises-arms-against-the-sunset-sky-harmony-and-picture-id1131849259 5 Self-Love Tips to Improve Self-Esteem

The longest, deepest, most important love affair you’ll ever experience is the one you have with yourself and that’s why improving your self-esteem is so important.

However for most of us, the idea of “loving ourselves” seems kind of selfish or egotistical.

We think it’s better for us to direct our love outward rather than inward.

But when we are kind to ourselves through simple practices like positive self-talk, we can gradually make improvements to our self-image that add up to a monumental change.

So, today I want to share five simple, yet effective strategies you can implement to improve your self-esteem.

1. Practice Gratitude

I can’t overstate how powerful this is.

When you make the effort to recognize everything you have to be grateful for, you will find more and more things to be grateful for – including your own abilities and accomplishments.

And when you take stock of everything that is actually going RIGHT in your life, that negative voice in your head won’t be as loud. That’s why I encourage everyone to keep a gratitude journal.

At the end of the day, take the time to write down each thing, no matter how small it seems, that you were thankful for during your day. This makes good days even better and is also a beautiful way to remind yourself how good your life really is.

Also, be sure to pay your gratitude forward. When you feel grateful for the people in your life and the things they have done for you, let them know about it.

Tell them that you see and appreciate what they do for you and for others. This allows you to pass that positive energy on to them and boost their self-esteem as well.

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Follow Your Heart

followyourheart Follow Your Heart

"The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are." -Rumi

I've Been Thinking...

The other morning, I was sitting on my porch drinking a cup of coffee when all of a sudden, a feeling swept over me. It was one that took me by surprise. I closed my eyes so I could sit with it for a while and really feel it. Then I decided to describe the feeling out loud so I would always remember it.

“I’m doing great,” I said to myself looking around to no one in particular. “I’m actually happy. I’m content. Life is peaceful, life is good.”
 

“Holy moly!” I thought as I sat there smiling. “I’m happy, I’m good.” I could feel myself smile.



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Do You Suck at Loving Yourself? I Did Too, but This Simple Practice Helped Tremendously

manwalking Do You Suck at Loving Yourself?
The practice of loving-kindness began to teach me to balance the love in my life out a bit. Any time I was uncomfortable making the loving aspiration towards myself, I knew that I'd be shifting focus shortly onto others, and that helped me through it.

We all mentally beat ourselves up from time to time. You know how it goes: "I can't believe I was that stupid," or "I'm too fat or thin," or "I'll never be good enough for him or her" and so forth.

Some of us, however, have deeper levels of self-denigration that have taken us to even darker places in our lives, which may stem from any number of reasons. Maybe we were abused growing up, picked on in school, abused drugs or alcohol or were sexually assaulted. Whatever the reason, it is that much more difficult for us to find a semblance of love and acceptance for ourselves than that of the average person, to which I was reminded of a few days ago while talking with a friend.

As we sat on my floor brainstorming ideas for a project, she asked me out of left field to name five things I like about myself. Well, after beginning to squirm a bit and struggling to come up with anything I said, "I'm compassionate" and "I'll help others whenever I can."

She was not impressed with my response and replied, "Yeah, those are nice, but they're more about helping others than about what you like about you," and damn, she was totally right. I have always been of the giving personality type rather than receiving, and like any good giver, it's often very difficult to receive on any level, whether material, emotional or physical.

Now, what I would have done here in the past is mentally beat myself up for not being able to name five things because, well, that's what a lot of us with low self-esteem and who are givers do. This time however, I didn't.

While I may have not done a stellar job at accomplishing her requested task, it did help me to realize I have come a long way in my process. I was able to tell her, "Yeah, I'm struggling with this, and I'm really fucking uncomfortable with it, but I know the qualities are in here somewhere," and today, I can honestly say I do know that, which is a realization I attribute much of to the practice of loving-kindness.

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Who Needs Your Love NOW?

hugs Who Needs Your Love NOW?

One of my favorite lines in A Course In Miracles is this:

The only thing lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving.

If you are out of sorts, stressed out, anxious, in need of a hug and some love, please know that you are not alone.

Most of us are pretty upside down these days about one thing or another.

And, an instant solution is to share some of your love with someone else.

Whether it’s a friend, elderly relative, stranger on the street, co-worker, neighbor, or the next person you come across, give them a big smile and a kind word, delivered with a blast of love and you can make someone’s day.

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3 Surprising Truths About Self-Love

lovebody 3 Surprising Truths About Self-Love

Do you love yourself? Do you really, really love yourself?

Self-love has become a popular topic nowadays. Many people know that they “should” love themselves. However, a great deal of confusion prevails. What does self-love really mean? And how do you actually do it?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-love is “an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue” or “proper regard for one’s own happiness and well-being.” These definitions sound quite positive.

However, other definitions make self-love out to sound negative. Dictionary.com defines self-love as: “conceit, vanity, narcissism,” or “the instinct by which one's actions are directed to the promotion of one's own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one's own advantage.”

Ouch. It’s no wonder we have such confusion! Worthiness and happiness are important aspects of our spiritual journey. Yet on the other hand, most caring people do not want to be conceited or narcissistic, nor to love themselves at the expense of others.

On the quest for self-love, I’ve searched high and low for a deeper understanding of what self-love really means. Here are 3 surprising truths I’ve discovered.



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