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A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, desire, destiny, free will and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – lets say a serious diagnoses, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, “ what thoughts were you having that would cause this?”

Well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible trying to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when their down, by suggesting they caused the problem.