It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Feeling Heartbroken or Disappointed?

brokenheart

A lot has happened here in the United States and I want to do my best to help support you in the place that you are in … knowing that everyone is in a different place … that everyone feels a little bit differently because of a different perspective, different experiences, a different frame of reference … and that’s how it’s meant to be.

Let’s talk today about the pain, the sadness, the fear, the anger, the overwhelm, the frustration, the nervousness so many people are feeling and being activated by what they’re witnessing.

You may be one of those people that are feeling disappointed in the human race … or disappointed in who we are, disappointed in the way that people are showing up, or feel heartbroken or have a heavy heart.  I want to take a moment first off to tell you that whatever it is you’re feeling … wherever the things that you are witnessing and experiencing are taking you … you have a right to those feelings.

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97 Hits

Discover More About Yourself

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Although self-study may include reading certain inner life books or listening to lectures on self-transformation, these materials, as encouraging and informative as they may be, are really only preparational tools; they have their place. After all, if you were going to climb a mountain, you would want expert advice on the proper equipment to use, and you would want instruction from others who had climbed that mountain before you. From their past painful experiences, you might be able to save a few of your own! Or so the thinking goes. All of this instruction, however, cannot raise you one inch above the valley floor to bring you any closer to the mountain top. There is only one way to reach the peak: you, yourself, must make the climb. 

In the same way, self-study is personal, individual work that sincere seekers must do for themselves. Far more intricate and at least as rigorous as trying to scale a real mountain, self-study asks us to begin with:

• Honestly observing ourselves as often as possible during the day to see the truth of what is actually directing our life in those moments 
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169 Hits

Pandemic Holidays Leaving You Lonely? Mindfulness Can Help.

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Loneliness around the holidays has always been an issue for some of us, but the coronavirus outbreak has widened the reality of this struggle to include more people than ever. Before the pandemic hit, a study reported that more than 60% of Americans grapple with loneliness. After lockdowns and stay-at-home orders were issued, about a third of Americans reported feeling even lonelier than usual.

Now, nine months into the pandemic, with the holiday season in full swing, coronavirus numbers are on the rise — and so are the stay-at-home orders to combat that surge. How can those who already struggled with loneliness in normal times deal with the increased isolation? How can people who usually rely on companionship with loved ones during the holidays cope with this new loneliness-inducing reality?

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208 Hits

Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Gold of Suffering

*Photo Credit: Michael Held Notes from the Pandemic

The apple blossoms behind Susan’s studio are opening and the weeping cherry is turning pink. And today, we have coffee on the deck, our faces in the sun. Everything is so peaceful and full of quiet that we can, for the moment, forget that the Earth is draped in a pandemic. Still, all things are true and all things are happening at once. As I breathe in the early light, someone is taking their last breath. As I wrestle with a jolt of fear, a couple is making love for the first time. As a thousand things are falling apart, another thousand are coming together. This ebb and flow on a cosmic scale is what keeps the Universe going. It feels inevitable that the more I can’t go anywhere, the more my heart travels everywhere—across the globe, then back and forth through history.

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266 Hits

Mankind Is Waiting For The Chance to Change

flow The true process of moving into the unknown is a process of rebirth

This is one of my favorite passages in “Flow: The Beginning Is Upon Us” by Jessica Keats.

On The Unknown:  

— The thing about the unknown is that it is unknown. We have no reference for it and there is no way to conceptualize it. When we are headed towards it our minds begin to find logical explanations for it or against it. Our minds envision where we are going and why we are going and then our minds begin to find all the reasons why we shouldn’t go. We get stuck in the reasons we shouldn’t go as these bring up more and more questions and reasons. All of this is a result of our beliefs and patterns of rejection and fear. We reject what we fear so we make up many reasons to fear this unknown possibility.

Many people call the process of moving into the unknown a “breakdown to breakthrough” or “wading through the muck”, but it feels like this only because of our beliefs, fears and stories resisting the natural process of change.

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242 Hits

9 Ways to Unleash Your Joy (Even During Turbulent Times)

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Today is a good day to be happy. No matter what is happening in the world (or your own personal world), joy is your protection and purpose right now. 

Joy is one of the highest vibrations we can experience on Planet Earth. Fear is one of the lowest vibrations. During these turbulent times, fear is trying with all its might to seduce us into believing we must worry, fret, and stress over the current conditions in our world.

“How can I not stress?” you might wonder. Yes, the world as we know it appears to be crumbling in complete chaos. But do you know what is really happening underneath the surface? Fear is being shaken out. Hidden deception, corruption, and inequalities are coming into the light, so they will no longer be tolerated. Truth is rising to the surface. Underneath all the chaos, positive change is awakening like the sun rising and shining upon the entire earth.

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254 Hits

How Pain Is Your Teacher

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"What if pain was actually a portal into the possibility of something more authentic?”

What if your pain was simply a message? Are you willing to hear the message? In this week’s episode, I talk about a powerful concept that can shift your life completely, how pain is your teacher. By accepting what is happening in the moment and understanding the pain you’re feeling, you can find the real gift. Listen to this episode and learn how pain can help you understand yourself even more deeply, live more authentically, and access more joy and fulfillment in your life.

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219 Hits

Miracles: Creating Our Own Magic

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Miracles happen all the time, you have to allow them to happen. Life is a series of thought and action. Miracles occur when we start relating to the power of our subconscious mind.

It is our own thinking patterns that are responsible for creating our destiny. Habitual thinking is responsible for creating the patterns, combined with imagery and visualization, for impacting our subconscious in such a way, that life turns to magic.

MIRACLE WORKING POWER
This is the power that will guide you towards the road to freedom, happiness and peace of mind. It will lift you from the throes of confusion, melancholia and depressive thoughts.
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257 Hits

Can We Ever Heal From Childhood Abuse?

lonely-teddy-bear-sits-in-a-puddle-in-the-rain-picture-id1168703996 Can We Ever Heal From Childhood Abuse?

If you had an abusive childhood, will you always suffer from it? This is the question that Andrea asked me about:

“I had a terrifying childhood. I have had counseling, motion light therapy, and been hypnotized, and they have done wonders for me, yet I still long for completion in my mind over these things. My question is – is there ever an end to your struggle in dealing with such things?”

 

The answer is Yes, You Can Heal, But There are Challenges…

Major healing occurs when you practice Inner Bonding and learn to give yourself the love you didn’t receive as a child. You need to learn to be the loving inner parent that your inner child needs. This is what will create the inner safety and self-worth that are necessary for healing.

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361 Hits

Healing The Fear Virus With Compassion!

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When the whole Coronavirus stuff started to go down earlier this year, I noticed how another virus was spreading even faster than COVID: The fear virus. Fear was taking root and spreading around the globe faster than the speed of light. 

Fear is contagious. And it’s easy to make it the enemy. But fear shouldn’t be viewed as the enemy itself.

In fact, I believe that when we make choices out of fear, we’re making choices to protect ourselves and those we love. It comes from a desire for self-preservation. Fear can be important. We need some level of an alarm system to keep us out of harm’s way. 

Fear brings a message with it. 

We can’t ignore it — because ignoring it simply buries the emotions. We can’t bypass it — because we have a lot of collective trauma that needs to be addressed and healed. I invite you to see fear as a valuable piece of information. Throw out the concept that you shouldn’t feel fear. At its core, fear is actually friendly. Fear wants to protect us, and is a biologically-rooted system that’s working on our behalf 24/7 to warn us of possible threats to our life. It’s trying to keep us safe and alive. 

But we also don’t want to give in to it or give it more power than it warrants.  

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224 Hits

Shed Healing Light on Pain from the Past

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Sometimes we can feel discouraged because our past efforts have never prevailed over what challenges us, so why try now? Or perhaps we are disheartened because one of our main hopes for happiness suddenly proves itself to be hopeless. Maybe we get downcast in the day because our body, or our mind, is no longer capable of doing what it once could in younger years, and all we see on the horizon are more limitations.

The point is -- when it comes to these dispiriting states -- it makes no difference what they say is the cause of their punishing presence within us. The truth is that these dark states find the cause they need to inhabit us right from within the content of our own past experience! What does this mean?

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353 Hits

How To Forgive When You Feel Hurt

forgiving How To Forgive When You Feel Hurt

How do you forgive and what do you do if you've been hurt and you really want revenge?

You know folks in life as human beings. We have all been hurt at some point and many times you may have loved big and gave your heart and soul to friends, family and relationships. 

You’ve pulled your resources, your energy, your time, your trust. Nothing hurts more than loving someone, trusting someone and giving them everything, and maybe they didn’t appreciate you. Maybe they didn’t honor you. Maybe they betrayed you. 

As human beings, this human experience and relationships can be difficult and challenging in moments. They’re never easy and can be complicated.

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260 Hits

Making the Effort to Grow Beyond Despair

Making-the-Effort

When you know in your heart that you must keep going but your feet just aren’t getting the message, self-understanding can open and carry you through doors that self-insistence cannot. The key to leaving behind our self-created and self-limited world is found in our willingness to keep going, even when it “feels” like something bad is happening to us or that we’re going “nowhere fast.” The idea of quitting or turning back is the unfortunate option that occurs only when we have an incomplete understanding of any given situation. This is where higher self-knowledge becomes so important for our real inner progress. 

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398 Hits

Shine The Light Of Your Own Awareness

Blog-shine-awareness_ss Life is showing you who you are and who you are not.

Your life is showing you where you are conscious, or it’s showing you where you are unconscious. It’s showing you where you are still in fear, and running programs and circuits that are fear-based, based in survival, or your life is showing you where you are in love and being able to meet life as presence. 

Life is very binary. This whole life thing, in the experience of this whole life, isn’t really that complicated at all. The key is to recognize that life is showing you who you are and who you are not. The key is being willing to shine the light of your own awareness on yourself. When you turn the lens of your awareness on yourself, you are beginning your journey of empowerment. As long as you continue to blame people, places, situations, circumstances and things for your internal state of being, you are a victim.    

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631 Hits

Confronting an Abusive Parent

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A woman wrote, asking:

“I am trying to connect with my family of origin. I’ve been working on my recovery for a bit over a year (ACA & Coda steps). I’d like to have a healthy relationship, with boundaries, of course, with my untreated family. But I can’t seem to have a relationship with my mother yet as I’m still processing my feelings from her abuse. I also feel that I need to confront her (when ready) to let her know my truth instead of ‘pretending’ that things are fine between us. This has been a DIFFICULT journey for me that affected my life. Though I know my mother can’t give me what I would like, I wonder if confronting her eventually would help ME with my relationship with her. I know some people don’t agree with confronting. I’m torn about this. I want to eventually have forgiveness for my mother, but I’m not there yet.”

 

The question you need to ask yourself is, “What do I hope to gain by confronting my a abusive mother or father?”

Here are some possible answers:

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329 Hits

Healing the Lack of Loving Holding and Touch

multiethnic-female-friends-sitting-on-meadow-sadness-pain-picture-id1194267017 There are two ways to heal the lack of touch – with another person, and within yourself.

Were you deprived of comforting holding as a child? I was. I was held by my mother, but the energy of her touch was so needy and engulfing that I hated being held or touched by her.

Babies and toddlers especially need warm, tender, caring, comforting holding and touch to know they are loved and to help them learn to regulate their feelings. Without this loving physical nurturing, they feel deeply rejected and abandoned.

How can we heal this yearning for the nurturing loving touch that we might have missed out on?

Brandon asks:

“When I try to get in touch with my anger, the thought comes up “my mother.” I think I didn’t get touched, cuddled, and caressed as a child. Here I get stuck! I draw a blank. I don’t know what the next step of the Inner Bonding process is.”

There are two ways to heal the lack of touch – with another person, and within yourself.

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326 Hits

Transform Ill Will

touch-someones-life-with-kindness-picture-id599898694 Good will cultivates wholesome qualities in you

Do you bear a grudge?

The Practice:
Transform Ill Will.

Why?

Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of your own? Ill will plays a lot of mini-movies in the simulator, those little grumbling stories about other people. Remember: while the movie is running, your neurons are wiring together.

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303 Hits

You CAN Heal The Wounds of Abusive Parenting

childhood The outlook doesn’t have to be bleak for those of us who had abusive or neglectful parenting.

“There are clear links between an individual’s psychological coping strategies and his or her physiological coping strategies. Both are established in infancy and toddlerhood and tend to persist through life.” –Sue Gerhardt, “Why Love Matters,” p. 77

Sue Gerhardt paints quite a bleak picture of our chances of being whole and happy if we didn’t receive the love we needed as infants and toddlers. At the end of her excellent book, ‘Why Love Matters,’ she does say that people can heal with extensive and expensive psychotherapy. But what if you can’t afford expensive psychotherapy?

She states in her well-researched book that part of the brain – the part of the prefrontal cortex that is responsible for being able to manage and regulate very painful feelings – does not get developed when we have parents who were unable to lovingly regulate our feelings for us as infants and toddlers. Can this part of the brain develop in adulthood?

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417 Hits

The Secret to Letting Go of Every Fear

lettinggofear Turn fear into fearlessness

Are you afraid of some condition in your life? Here's a life-transforming secret: that seemingly scary condition, whatever it may be, is not the problem. It is your reaction that is fearful. This is why if you will become conscious of your condition instead of afraid of it, you will change forever your relationship with fear. 

It is only within this special kind of inner-relationship that there is real safety, because now you are interacting with fear in an entirely new way. You are no longer letting it dictate to you how to act or what to do. Instead, you are aware of the fear. You are learning to quietly observe and study it. And, each day, as you discover something new about the strange and shaky nature of your own fearful reactions, they begin to lose their power over you.

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456 Hits

Stand up to Bullies

violence-in-today-schools-picture-id1125699891 “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou

Do you see a bully?

The Practice:
Stand up to bullies.

Why?

Humans are profoundly social. Woven through the tapestry of our relationships are several major threads. One of these is power. The only question is, do we use it for good or ill?

The abuse of power can be called many things, including intimidation, fraud, discrimination, and tyranny. I’ll use a term that’s down-to-earth: bullying.

Bullies are unfortunately common. Throughout history and right now today, from homes and schoolyards to the halls of power, they create a vast amount of human suffering. What can we do?

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284 Hits