It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
One of the things I loved doing as a child was making creative things for my parents. I would spend hours designing and building wonderful cards with little poems in them, and make special pieces of jewelry for my mother. The only problem was that, while my mother would receive her gift graciously, she never received it with her heart. She would smile and tell me how lovely it was, but I never felt her love coming back to me. My mother did not know how to open her heart, how to smile at me with love and cherishing in her eyes. My father would never even notice his gift.
I wanted to connect with my parents, to share love with them, to know their hearts, but their hearts were hidden. Sadly, my mother died at the age of 86 without ever being able to share her heart with me. My father died at 92 and his heart was always closed.
Your children need to feel your heart and soul. They need you to take the time to stop what you are doing and just be with them. They need you to really see them – to see who they are beneath their outward ways of being.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to see their essence, their true Self, the individual expression of Spirit within them. When children are deeply seen and valued by their parents, they learn to see and value themselves. All children need this profound mirroring from their parents to feel intrinsically lovable and worthy.
The challenge is that we cannot see the souls of our children and embrace their intrinsic worth unless we see our own intrinsic worth. If you suffer from core shame – if you feel intrinsically unworthy, unlovable, not good enough, unimportant or inadequate – then you cannot energetically communicate to your children their inherent worth. Your own feelings of unworthiness will be projected upon them, no matter how loving you try to be with them. You can let them know in many ways how wonderful they are, but when they energetically pick up your core shame, they will either integrate that shame into their own beings, or move in the opposite direction, believing that they are superior to you, which can cause entitlement issues.
In order to meet your children’s need to be loved and cherished, you need to love and cherish yourself. The greatest gift you can give your children is to embrace a daily Inner Bonding process of healing your own core shame.
Core shame comes from three different sources:
If you commit to a daily Inner Bonding process of loving yourself and letting go of trying to get love from others, you will find that your core shame gradually resolves. Core shame resolves when we let go of believing that we cause others to feel and behave the way they do. As you heal your core shame, you can love your children from your true Self, your own individual expression of Spirit within. When your children experience your love for them from your true Self, rather than from your wounded self that carries your core shame, they will feel your heart and know that they are truly lovable and worthy of being loved.
Why not commit to learning to love yourself so that you can deeply share love with your children and with others? There is nothing more profound than the sharing of love that comes from an open heart. Your children need and deserve to have this sacred experience with you. Because children often project their experience of their parents onto God, their ability to stay spiritually connected as adults is greatly facilitated by your own heart connection with them.
Join Panache Desai every morning and for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
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