It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Scapegoating: A Dysfunctional Family System

When I work with clients, I can feel the beauty of their soul and I can feel their light shining through. I’m fortunate that the vast majority of clients that want to work with me individually or come to an Intensive are very ready to learn and heal and own their beautiful light.

One issue that frequently emerges is when a person has been scapegoated in his or her family of origin, and might still, as an adult, be being scapegoated. Scapegoating is when someone is blaming you for their feelings, wrongdoings, mistakes, and projecting their woundedness on to you, with no empathy or compassion for how this feels to you.
 

In families, one member is often the target of judgments, criticism, accusations, blame and ostracism. Scapegoating often begins is childhood and may continue into adulthood with your family of origin or with your in-laws. If you have been or currently are the target of scapegoating, it’s important to realize that you are being abused.

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3 Most Asked Questions about the Afterlife

I’d like to answer some of your questions about my work and the Other-Side. I hope these answers will offer you some comfort and clarity.

1.  Is my loved one on the Other-Side always connected to me?
Your family and friends in this world aren’t around you 24-7. But when there’s an emergency, they’re there when you need them. It’s the same way with your loved ones on the Other-Side. They know what’s going on in your life and try to let you know they are there for you, whether it’s for love, guidance, hope, or inspiration.

It takes a lot of energy for those who have passed to lower their vibration and make a connection to you. So it’s not something they’re going to be doing all the time. Your loved ones have their own learning to do over there and need time to grow and progress. That’s why those who have recently passed often need time before they’re ready to connect with you.

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The Power Of Love

Over the last several years, I’ve written and talked on the radio about the power of love and how important it is to use your intuition when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. I’ve talked about everything from reinventing your love life and changing your dating mindset to using your intuition when it comes to the scent of attraction (why online dating can go sour if his smell turns you off) and the sound of your date’s voice (sound frequency is so telling!) Ultimately, trusting your intuition will help you much more than any how-to-date manual. But, what about the reverse—what does love have to do with enhancing your intuition and connection to the All That Is?

We often tend to think of love as an emotion or an expression, but it is so much more. Love is unconditional, accepting, inclusive, uniting, understanding, kind, and joining. It’s a freedom from fear and separateness. It’s about showing compassion and kindness to yourself and the world around you. It’s also a commitment to reduce suffering and respect every creature and object. Love flows through every living being, connecting us to one another, the living planet, and the Divine. It’s what made you, your friends, and even the people who drive you crazy. It’s a part of our trees, oceans, mountains, and sky. Love is at the very essence of who we are. 

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Let's Get Loving

“I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." -Paul Coelho

I've Been Thinking...

My first love was the horse pictured below. Her name was Miss Buck, and I loved her with all my heart. 

Just a few weeks ago, my brother sent me this picture—one I’d never seen before. When I saw it, I was reminded of what love feels like and looks like. Love feels safe. Love feels secure. It feels restful. It feels like home.

 


Do you know what love feels like to you? Several years ago a friend asked me that very question. I distinctly remember pausing, as I was quite sure no one had ever asked me that question before. It moved me and rattled me all at the same time.

Love is like that, isn’t it? It stirs up so many emotions. It can take you to the highest place imaginable, and then break you into tiny pieces. Your heart can be full one minute, and empty the next. You can be so hopeful when you are in love, and yet so full of despair when you feel unlovable.

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Rediscover the Power Of Love

The reality is that each and all of our relationships stir in us a host of strong feelings that, prior to their being awakened in us, we had no idea lay sleeping in our consciousness. These emotions range from deep delight to darkly disturbing, but to strengthen the point: whatever someone awakens in us is... our feeling. Which brings us to the next three important points. The more you’re able to see how they are secretly connected, the stronger will become your connection to a new order of love that can’t be shattered by any storm.

  1. Everyone in our life has a definite role to play in how we experience ourselves each moment; that’s their part, as much as it is ours to play a similar role in their life. However, they are not responsible for our negative reaction to what we see in ourselves when we’re in their company.
  2. On the other hand (and this isn’t to say that we’re to excuse others for their misguided treatment of us) but it’s not our job to make anyone else see where he or she is “wrong.” Which leads us to the last of the three points.
  3. If our wish is to discover a new and higher kind of love – the only one that can empower us to transcend our differences with our partner –then we must begin to see our old excuses for finding fault with him or her as...faulty!
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Dealing with the Death of KOBE

Kobe Bryant, along with his daughter and 7 others died tragically on January 26th.

Losing a loved one is never easy.

Grief is a natural process. Yet we have a tendency to suppress it and avoid feeling it. This only keeps you stuck in the pain.

We often think that if we feel the grief it will last forever. But no feelings last forever. All feelings when fully felt dissolve.

Or that if we feel the grief we will never survive.

So if you lost someone you love, give yourself full permission to feel the pain fully. It will break your heart open to a bigger dimension of love than you knew before.

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The Invisible Law Behind All Loving Relationships

Imagine that you and your partner have gone out for the evening with another couple, or perhaps with a small group of close friends. Maybe you’re at an intimate bar, a dance place, or just out somewhere to dine.

The atmosphere and conversation are light; people are smiling, perhaps warmed by a glass of wine or two. A few hours pass, the time grows late, and the waiter – maybe hoping to start clearing the table – comes over with the check. He’s not sure who to hand it to, and so he stands there, feeling somewhat awkward.

For a moment, no one really wants to acknowledge that he’s there. Most of the party looks in every direction but his, knowing that accidental eye contact might be interpreted by him as accepting responsibility for the bill. We’ve all been “there” in these moments...and unless our bank account is so flush that we don’t care about the extra cost, and want to pay for the party, it’s a slightly uncomfortable experience.

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The Secrets to Having The Greatest Sex of Your Life

“The depth of your sexuality is in direct proportion with the ability and degree to which you allow yourself to express and exchange love.”

Sexuality can often be a delicate and intense subject. For some, it can be a challenging experience, leaving you feeling deeply unsatisfied. But truly great sex will deepen the connection with your partner. Listen to this episode and learn how to view sex as a sacred exchange, letting it become more than a physical experience and becoming a true celebration of the infinite dance of life.

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10 Ways to Converse with Your Pet

If you’re a dog or a cat owner, you already have a strong spiritual bond with your pet. But is it really possible to have a two-way communication with them?

Animals are masters at telepathic communication. I hadn’t really appreciated just how much they psychically reveal their thoughts, feelings, emotions and health issues until I met with an animal communicator.

A few years back, I had a session with New England animal communicator Danielle MacKinnon and I was astonished at how much I learned. I was even able to ask Koda some questions through Danielle.

Here are some of Danielle’s tips to help you communicate with your pet:

  1. If you want to talk with your pet, always ask for permission first. Remember to thank your pet after the session.
  2. Keep your questions short and simple: “What’s bothering you?” “Do you like this?” Be as clear and concise as you can be.
  3. Animals like to think in pictures. If you’re going out for a while, imagine sending a picture of a clock to your pet with the time you’re expecting to return. If you’re going away for a few days, imagine how many sunsets you’ll be away for.
  4. Use your own body as a guide to connect with the body of your animal.  Ask your pet if it’s feeling all right, or if it’s experiencing any discomfort, then see if you’re feeling drawn to a certain area in your own body.
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Acts of Faith – Manifest Faster

Happy New Year and if you are like me, chances are you have a list of goals, desires or intentions (hopefully written down on paper and shared with an accountability partner).

One of the lesser known manifestation tools is called “Acts of Faith.”

This is something you do when you are so trusting that your desire will be fulfilled, that you acquire something that you would want or need if the desire arrived right now.

For instance, if your desire is to meet and marry your soulmate a gigantic Act of Faith would be to buy your wedding dress now.

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How to Bring the Love Sooner

We all know what it feels like when we go into a new experience. A gathering of people we don’t know, some kind of new job that we’re employed in, or some kind of social situation where we don’t know the people, we don’t know the circumstances, et cetera. There is a sense of tension in the body because we don’t know how we’re going to be received. We’re afraid we won’t know what to talk about or we’re not sure that we’re going to be liked by others. We’re not sure that we’re going to be able to relate to the other people or be able to shine in the situation the way that we know we can.

Creating a Story

When the mind is in an uncertain place, it starts to rattle, and it starts to look everywhere for something to lock in on to feel more secure. When this happens the mind has a tendency to go into stories and judgments. It may judge the other people in the situation, or it will start to judge the self. It does this all in the attempt for the mind to have something upon which to focus.

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Speak Wisely

What are you saying?

The Practice:
Speak wisely.

Why?

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Ah, not really.

Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said to you over the years – especially those said with criticism, derision, shaming, anger, rejection, or scorn – and the impacts they’ve had on your feelings, hopes and ambitions, and sense of yourself.

Words can hurt since the emotional pain networks in your brain overlap with physical pain networks. (The effects of this intertwining go both ways. For example, studies have shown that receiving social support reduces the perceived intensity of physical pain, and – remarkably – that giving people Tylenol reduced the unpleasantness of social rejection.)

Besides their momentary effects, these hurts can linger – even for a lifetime. The residues of hurtful words sift down into emotional memory to cast long shadows over the inner landscape of your mind.

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The One New Year’s Resolution I Hope You Make…And Keep

This one New Year’s resolution can change your life, heal your relationships, create health and well being, and heal our planet.


One of the most important aspects of Inner Bonding is opening to a compassionate intention to learn. I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion, and I’ve realized that compassion is often more than people think it is.

Compassion does include the standard definition: the ability to feel empathy with another or others who are suffering, to be moved by the suffering and to want to help alleviate it.

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Limitless Love on an Evolving Planet

Is love on a global scale, for oneself and others, possible? I believe it is, despite evidence to the contrary. Let’s face it. The current planetary paradigm that we inhabit is based in limitation. From a very early age, we are taught to curtail our heart’s desires for fear they will be crushed within a skewed social matrix that does not allow universal self-fulfillment and growth. Most social constructs in our world are organized on a top/bottom basis. Whether you are at the bottom or top, your life is limited by the very fact of inhabiting a limited paradigm. What would it take to shift that paradigm, to make it inclusive instead of exclusive? How about a complete transformation in global consciousness? Because until the collective consciousness changes, we are all caught in a web of limitation.

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Ego Puppy’s Tips To Taking Radical Responsibility for Your Happy Holiday

The holidays can be so much be fun!

Trimming the tree, old familiar traditions and the warmth of our family and friends. Those are the holidays… in a perfect world.

But, how many people live in a perfect world?

During this time of year, many are overworked trying to create the perfect holiday.

Shopping, cooking, cleaning, juggling in-laws and traditions that feel never ending… and when the whole thing is over you’re left feeling tired, empty and unappreciated.

Does this sound familiar?

It’s important to remember that when family comes together, stress is often sure to follow.

Let’s put an end to that this year!

Do you know how to enjoy the holiday and remain stress free in your natural state of love?

The key is to take radical responsibility for YOUR OWN happy holiday!

Imagine what an impact that would have on your entire family.

When your spouse or love of your life sees you in a relaxed state of love, imagine what they will feel.

And what about your children and grandchildren? When they see you truly enjoying the season, imagine how much better the holiday will be for them.

Have you ever flown in an airplane and listened as they tell you that in the event of a crash, you should put your own mask on first?

The same principles apply here. If you’re not consciously living in your natural state of love, you can’t help anyone else live in theirs!

Taking radical personal responsibility for your own Happy Holiday will have far reaching effects.

You’ll feel more relaxed and appreciative of the beauty of the season and so will those you love most.

Let’s get started:

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How To Speak Your TRUTH To Those You Love

There are certain moments in life when you know that you need to have a difficult conversation and share a deeper truth.

Difficult conversations require more of you. They require that you dig within yourself and access a part of you that might have been dormant.

It’s not always easy sharing the truth of how you really feel with another. But it’s essential if you are to grow, be fulfilled and have real relationships.

Honest communication frees you and frees the other. When you withhold, it creates a blockage in your relationship and deeper intimacy is blocked.

We often hold back having difficult conversations because we are afraid of how others will respond and the resulting conflict.

Or we are afraid to cause harm to someone we love.

Or we fear the end of our relationship.

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Relationships: Accepting the Challenges or the Loneliness

Is the fear of getting hurt or losing yourself keeping you from accepting the challenges of loving a partner?

“My inner child is lonely and wants to be in a relationship, but relationships are too hard. I feel like I don’t want to work that hard,” Karen told me in a phone session.

“Are you ready to fully accept the loneliness of never being in a relationship?”

“No, that sounds too sad and awful. But why do relationships have to be so hard? I’ve worked on myself for years, yet even relationships with close friends are hard. It shouldn’t be that way.”

“Karen, they are hard because most of us come from families where we did not see our parents or other caregivers being open to learning with each other, especially during conflict. We saw them get angry, give in, withdraw, resist and turn to various addictions. So this is what most of us learned to do. Relationships challenge us to give up trying to control each other and instead open to learning with ourselves and each other, so we can share love. When two people are open to learning, relationships are not hard. What’s challenging is reaching the point where we can stay open to learning in the face of conflict.

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The Perfect Gift You Can Bring Is Your Heart

"At this table, everyone is welcome. At this table, everyone is seen. At this table, everybody matters. No one falls between." -Idina Menzel


I've Been Thinking...

Everyone I’ve spoken to this week has told me how overwhelmed they feel. They are, of course, talking about the holiday season and not the impeachment hearings (which would overwhelm even a constitutional scholar).

To each of them, I said: “Believe me, I get it.”

I tend to feel overwhelmed at this time of year, too, which is why I’m going to share a personal story this morning that I hope might ease what you’re feeling and carrying with you right now. It might just reveal that the perfect holiday gift is closer than we realize…

So, there I was early Monday morning in the TODAY show makeup room, chatting away with Laura and Mary (two talented hair and makeup magicians), when a text popped up on my phone.

It was short. Three words to be precise. “This is you!” it said. It was accompanied by something to download, but no surprise, I couldn’t figure out how to download it, so I just went on gabbing.

Then Hoda burst into the room.

“Did you hear the song I sent you?!” she squealed with delight.

After I explained that I couldn’t download It, she insisted that I stop everything and listen right then and there. “It is you!” she repeated.

Hoda pulled up Idina Menzel’s new Christmas song, "At This Table,” and as it played, my eyes welled with tears, and goosebumps formed on my arms.

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‘Tis The Season For Receiving

There is no doubt about it. December is the time of year that is synonymous with giving. Whether it is to family, friends, co-workers, charitable organizations, or the people who make our lives better, we all have our lists and are checking them twice!

Most of us love to give – and when we do so, we feel good about ourselves, abundant, and alive.

But what about receiving? Most people feel very uncomfortable about receiving.

Whether it is a gift, an act of kindness, help from others, or even a compliment, we have a difficult time receiving.

For many, our awkwardness around receiving started at an early age. We were brought up hearing messages like, "Tis better to give than to receive" or "Give more than you get." We decided, consciously or unconsciously, that people who receive are greedy, selfish, weak, or needy – and since we didn't want to be any of those things, we made receiving wrong. When I first looked at my inability to receive, I realized that I had a belief that if I received something from someone, then I would owe them something in return. For me, being beholden to anyone was a loss of control and a very scary place, so receiving became taboo.




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Pull Up Those Big Girl Panties!

Today I am sending all of you a virtual pair of Big Girl panties as you embark on a New Year – a year to be filled with love, laughter and the meeting of your soulmate/lifepartner.

I want you to close your eyes and imagine you are putting them on now.

The purpose of these Big Girl panties is to be a constant reminder that you deserve Big Love.

The fact that you have the desire for this is PROOF of its fulfillment.

Your soulmate/lifepartner is out there seeking you!

It is your job to be open, ready, available and VISIBLE so you can find each other. And, you can make this process FUN!!!!

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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