My mind was going to the places of what if…. things out of my control.
I noticed the water was moving faster. In the distance there were some boulders surrounded by rapids. I brought this to my husband’s attention. He was not too concerned with the churning water. I was getting more and more worried. We only needed to go farther to the right, or farther to left to avoid the biggest boulder.
As my attention focused more intently on potential disaster, it became less likely we would avoid it. My husband remained calm. The nose of the kayak was grabbed by the whirlpool. I fell out of the kayak into the swirling water. My husband remained in the kayak and passed me by. I grabbed hold of the boulder and attempted to stand in the place I had wanted to avoid.
I was so mad! From the shore a man yelled instructions at me. I held tightly to the rock. He called, “let go, it will be alright”. I kept my tight grip. The rapids continued to hit me. The water splashed in my face, I could not see clearly. I refused to let go. My grip kept me in the exact place I was afraid of.