The Inconvenient Truth

In the past few weeks I have been fixated on the news and stories surrounding the world of USA Gymnastics. Like most of us, I have looked on with horror, disbelief, and heartbreak as well as a profound sense of admiration for the 156 women and girls - "the army of survivors" - who shared their victim impact statements and testified against former USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar. I also cheered when Judge Aquilina sentenced Nassar to 40 to 175 years in prison and so matter-of-factly said, "It is my honor and privilege to sentence you. You don't deserve to walk outside a prison ever again." Just yesterday, Nassar was sentenced to an additional 40 to 125 years in prison after a second sentencing hearing where more than 60 young women and teenagers read or presented victim impact statements. 


Like many of us, I can't help thinking about the other people and organizations involved in this situation who were told or put on notice about Nassar's behavior and did nothing to stop it. Whether it was Michigan State University, USA Gymnastics, the U.S. Olympic Committee, or private training facilities, I am a huge proponent of the investigations that are and should be conducted as to how these entities and people - these enablers - ignored or mishandled the sexual assault complaints lodged against Nassar. It's chilling to realize that he could have been stopped decades ago. 


Being a mother of three daughters the same age range as many of the women I watched testify, what stops me in my tracks are the victims and survivors who shared that they told their parents what was going on and, for whatever reason, their parents dismissed or minimized what their child was saying and did not advocate or did not advocate strongly enough to put a stop to Nassar's sick, destructive, abusive behavior. 


Although, I would like to think that as a parent I would have listened and taken charge, and now there is no question that I would, 15 years ago when I was a newly divorced, single mother of three girls trying to juggle so many aspects of life, the truth is I don't know how I would have responded...And that haunts me. Doing a good deal of soul searching, I have been asking myself questions like: 
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Discovering the Divine Gift and Abandonment Isolation

For many people who are experiencing rapid spiritual growth, isolation may be a necessary part of the learning curve. One reason for this is that the cellular pain comes to the surface it is hard even for those who are consciously aware not to project it to those around them.  Another reason for the isolation is that company can distract us from facing what we need to so we can move on.

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How does your reaction to change affect your life experience?

At this moment, you and I are living in an information age. We are living through shifts in the meta-structures of the game that are very profound. We haven’t even begun to grow into it.

Our mythology is so based on our previous ages and consciousness, that we haven’t even understood it yet. I mean, we’re just beginning the dance of understanding what it means when we have a collective unconsciousness, when we have information moving at the rate it is. We’re still getting overloaded trying to collect it. But it’s obvious – you can’t collect it.

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At the corner of fear and forgiveness

Many have memories of fun-filled afternoons, family vacations, weekends loaded with laughter and wise knowledge being passed from an idealized parent.

 

What about the others?

 

The children who shy away from light because they are strangely comforted by the darkness.

 

How about all of the once innocent children, now struggling adults, who hide inside the shadows that dance along with their lives.

 

Not every childhood memory is warmly filled. Many are chilled with ice as sharp as knives. Pain that swallows them alive.

 

What about them?

 

Those that get denied and pushed aside. The ones that we choose not to see because it makes us uncomfortable or forces us to face our own darkness.

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Unmaking Enemies, Unraveling Fear

We are living through adversarial times in this country. People want to blame others for whatever they believe is wrong with their own lives. Immigrants, gay people, outspoken women—choose one or all of the above, and you have an instant “enemy.” It’s a behavioral pattern that can be traced back through centuries of human relationships on this planet.
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The Woman Who Feared Infinity

If you’ve seen the film The Man Who Knew Infinity, based on the life of Indian mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan, you will recognize the reference above. Ramanujan was a highly advanced mathematical genius with relatively little educational background in the field. He was primarily self-taught. His theorems and ideas were brilliant, ground-breaking, and 100 years later are still being studied. According to a number of sources, his work was inextricably connected to his deep devotion to his spiritual practice. In the film, his character explains: “An equation has no meaning to me unless it expresses the thought of God.” Other great scientists and mathematicians have recognized that same connection; Galileo, for instance: “Mathematics is the language in which God has written the universe.” Ramanujan lived and expressed this truth. His unconventional mathematical thinking, often revealing the effects without the cause, or proof, came from a place within him that was connected to the infinite, to God. Because of this, he became a clear vessel for God’s light of universal truth to shine through him.
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Fear to Love: Learning from Nature

Soul Spring is a spiritual blog and I am talking about the spiritual revolution that keeps cycling within me - over and over - each time bringing me closer to love and further away from fear.

At the same time I can’t help noticing what is happening in America right now has happened to me and in all my personal relationships. That is when all my garbage rises to the surface and one more time I get to burn, learn, and then move upward and forward. I believe every time that happens, I get closer to love, as fear becomes a memory- even if only a short lived memory.

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Fear and Its Disguises

The presence of fear is not always recognizable as such. Yes, it can be the jolt to the gut, adrenaline coursing through your body, at a near-miss in traffic or sudden turbulence mid-flight. Obvious. Unmistakable. But most fear is more subtle than that, more hidden. It lurks in your subconscious and disguises itself as other things when it emerges. Anger, sadness, negativity, shyness, humility, resentment—all these are perfect covers for fear.
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Losing Myself…An Identity Crisis from Empty Nest Syndrome (Part Two: Fear for ourselves)

Last week I addressed the fear for our children as they leave the nest, this week is all about ME! Fear…what will I do with my time? Where will my focus be?

My life has been about them, what now? Who am I without my kids? Aren’t I Kiera and Hannah’s mom? I’m having an identity crisis.

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Fears - Too Afraid To Look

When I sat down to write this article, I begin thinking about how the word “fear” has evolved in my mind and my consciousness over the course of my lifetime.

For the first 27 years of my life, the only fear I identified with was what I call “outside” fears such as the fear of heights (which is actually the fear of falling), fear of dogs (which turned into a phobia that still exists), fear of bridges over water, fear of my father, and so on. Of course I was a bundle of what I now call “inner” fears but I had no clue.

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Flying the Coup

Fear created by the Empty Nest Syndrome – Part One: Fear for our child

Now is the time of year when school starts back up and our houses become quieter. For many of us, our children are headed off to college…or even scarier…the “real world.” The empty nest syndrome sets in! Who is going to protect them? What happens if they get sick, who will bring them soup and a cold washcloth? When someone is mean who is going to stick up for them?

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How To Feel Fear To Move Past It

What if I told you that there was one thing and one thing alone that was keeping you from love and intimacy, more money, better health, youthfulness and vibrancy? That one thing is the biggest chokehold in your experience of being human and that one thing is fear—but more your inability to function in the presence of that energy... Fear is a sure fire sign that you’re bumping up against the edge of your known reality or your comfort zone. I want to empower you right now to navigate the experience of fear when it arises from within you.

Fear triggers the part of us that’s rooted in survival and that’s why we’re unable to deal with it. We either fight, run away or freeze. All of these behaviors don’t serve us and they don’t allow us to fully thrive and flourish into all that we’re becoming and all that we’re growing into.  How do you own fear and recognize that it is an ally in your evolution? Watch the video below to learn how:

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Feed It or Free It

One of the first questions I ask myself (or try to to remember to ask myself) when I become aware of a fear is, “do I really want to keep feeding this, or do I want to free it?“

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FOMO – Overcoming my Fear of Missing Out

Have you ever had that feeling that maybe you “missed the boat” or lost an opportunity because you weren’t at the right place at the right time? Or felt that anxiety that comes up when you find out that others had fun at an event without you, and then it causes you to want to be involved in everything…therefore overfilling your schedule? Hello…my name is Darby…and I have chronic FOMO.

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Peace, Love, and Extreme Fear

Is it possible to remain peaceful when you are faced with extremely frightening events? Can you feel fear and peace simultaneously? And hold love in your heart through it all? More and more, we are living the answers to questions like these. In Massachusetts, where I live, during the 2013 Boston Marathon, residents found themselves in the midst of a terrorist drama that dragged on for five days. As fate would have it, I was away from home, on retreat with Panache Desai in Florida, during that exact time period. Within the group of 46 people from all over the world, there were several of us from Massachusetts.

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How To Take A Risk When You're Afraid Of Failing

Do you have dreams that have gone unrealized?

Pieces of music that have remained unwritten... Books that have remained unfinished... Expressions that have been wanting to be born into this world that haven’t been allowed to see the light of day... Businesses that never made it past the business plan...

There is so much in you that wants to be shared that you are not allowing to be expressed through you at this time, and that’s for one reason and one reason alone... You’re afraid of failing, to be powerful, and to really birth what’s within you into this world.

There are two things that are required to overcome this: 1) an ability to risk and 2) a heightened sense of vulnerability.

How do you develop these abilities? Watch the video below to learn how:



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Fear of Better? Fear of More?

Who could be afraid of more, or better? Afraid of success? ME, that’s who! In fact, almost anything good. I know, it was hard for me to get my head around that one, but it is true. 

When I was beginning to turn my life around a little over 40 years ago, I was working on uncovering, and overcoming, my fears around failure. After all, my life was a disaster and what else could it be that continued to keep me in a state of failure - one after another. One day, a loving mentor suggested I also look at my fear of success. What? It was the dumbest thing I had ever heard of. In fact, it sounded so stupid, I totally ignored her.

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How One Woman Finally Faced Her Fears, Took Charge of Her Life, and Changed Her Direction

Beautiful, engaging, and successful are three words that come to mind when I think of Lori. On the outside, you wouldn’t think she was suffering to the degree that she is. Though, in saying that, I know it’s all too common that who we put out to the world is often a very different person than who we are on the inside - especially when we are suffering. We do this because we are afraid to show the world who we really are – mostly because of shame, feeling uncomfortable… and fear.

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Overcoming fear with feminine power

What comes up for me when I think about fear is that tiny voice inside, buried deep within my brain that pushes against my confidence and plants seeds of doubt within me. Many women like myself who have been there, have felt the fear of being 'exposed' to who they think we really are, that somehow we don't deserve to be who we have become. The fear of being a fraud. 

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How To Get Past Crippling Fear

There’s one thing that we all are afraid of... and it’s change. It’s the unknown.  Is the fear of the unknown keeping you from your greatness? We’re most afraid of that which isn’t familiar because we’ve been conditioned to operate inside of what’s known and what is familiar. The only problem is that what’s known and what’s familiar doesn’t allow us to be extraordinary and dynamic.

We have to constantly evolve beyond that which we know and that which we are aware of is a limitation. We have to constantly innovate. We have to constantly be creative. We have to constantly follow the evolutionary impulse within us to be more and to express in a greater way and to share more.

Repetitious cycles and monotony lead to mediocrity.  How do you break free of repetitious cycles and monotony? How do you break free of living on auto pilot in order to really be alive?

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Already Here: A Doctor Discovers the Truth about Heaven

Already Here: A Doctor Discovers the Truth about Heaven

Already Here tells of the death of Leo Galland’s son, Christopher, at the age of 22; the direct visual evidence Christopher showed him that our souls do go on; and the communications he received from Christopher’s spirit that dramatically changed Leo’s understanding of life and its meaning.

30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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