Are You Friendly?

Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach that is welcoming and positive.

Friend or Foe?

The Practice:
Be friendly.



Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.


Think about a time when someone was friendly to you — maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, comfortable, and at ease; safer; more open and warm-hearted.

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What To Do When You Outgrow Your Friends (video)

You are allowed to outgrow people.


It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. It just means that you are growing.


Not everyone will stay with you an entire lifetime and that’s ok. Holding back your light to make others feel comfortable is soul suicide.


The greatest gift that you can give the world is to be magnificent. You don’t need to make an excuse for your greatness. You don’t need to hide your light in order to fit in.


You attract people into your life because they were a vibrational match at that particular time. They reflected parts of yourself back to you.


However, as you grow and evolve, unless they grow and evolve, likely your connection will no longer be in alignment.


It can be painful to feel that you and the person that you love have gone in different directions and no longer connect in the same way.


We often hold ourselves back from growing out of false loyalty, over-responsibility and fear.

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The Power of Timing in Our Lives

Not too long ago, someone asked me why I hadn’t published my book, “I’ve Been Thinking…,” sooner. After all, I’ve been writing these essays and sharing them in The Sunday Paper for years, so I could have easily published it a year or two ago.


But, as I told that person, and as I’ve told others on this journey, I honestly couldn’t have put it out any sooner. This book came out when it was supposed to for me. It came at just the right time.


I think so many of us are in a rush these days. We’re in a rush to get on with things. A rush to get over things. A rush to be where we think we are supposed to be.


But, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that stuff happens when it’s supposed to in our lives, not always when we think it should. At least that’s been the case in my life.

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When Soulmates Bring You to Your Knees

Continuing the theme of exploring relationships this month I’ll ask this question. Do you remember a time when you thought you met “THE ONE” and felt so strongly that you had met your soulmate, only to see this special relationship go up in flames, and you on your knees sobbing and confused?

This can apply to best friendships too not just romantic relationships. I’ve befriended a few people I was convinced would be my friend for life only to see it all unravel and disintegrate in a short time. Perhaps this may have happened to you too?

The truth is these are soulmates of a different kind, harbingers of true healing and what I like to call Shadow teachers. Through these powerful connections we get to see how our unprocessed wound-patterns still can cause us to be in denial when we choose to follow through on our attractions.

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Who’s Got Your Back?

Am I the only one who makes commitments to myself and then forgets those commitments almost as soon as I make them? Probably not.

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Ain’t Nobody got Time for that!

College, 1985, I met a boy - a high profile sort of guy. He showed an interest in me and I was impressed with myself that such a guy would take an interest in little old me. So when he called and asked me to come over to spend some time with him, I jumped at the chance. I was so excited!

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Johnny Mathis, Not the Singer - a Life Ended too Soon

Sixteen years old, big crush, butterflies and all – Johnny Mathis, not the singer, stole my heart. He was a happy sixteen-year-old boy with the wise eyes of an old soul. I can see his face so clearly as if I just saw him yesterday. We had a ton of fun together and felt like soul mates, at least that’s how I saw it. All of my memories of him involve snow, the kind of snow that flowed from the sky in a beautiful mist steadily coming down, including that fateful night – the last time I saw Johnny.

I went with Johnny to meet his family one winter night. I had never met them before because he lived with his aunt who owned and lived in a small hotel on 8 Mile (yes, like the movie) that they rented by the hour, day or week. We drove back to his place after a fun night of finally getting to know where Johnny came from.  It was such a beautiful night as we stood by my car in that misty snow. Johnny asked me if I wanted to “come in and talk”.  I’ll never forget his words, even in that moment it caused me to pause. Looking back, I probably should have known something was up because boys don’t ask girls to “come in and talk” at sixteen. I was leaving for Florida the next morning though and had to rush home to pack, so I declined and headed home.

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Are You A People Pleaser?

Wanting to make people happy and constantly wanting to do things for others isn't a bad thing. However, too much and too often of a good thing can become a bad thing. People pleasers do just that. They put others before themselves. They want to feel needed, so they forsake their needs and do for others. This makes them feel like they are helping others and contributing to their own lives, often to the exclusion of their own desires and happiness. They have difficulty internally validating themselves; they seek the approval and thus seek external validation from other people. At the core, they lack confidence and the ability to take care of themselves. They fear saying 'no', thinking that others will view them in a negative light, lazy, uncaring, or selfish.

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