“Where you see wrong or inequality or injustice, speak out, because this is your country. This is your democracy. Make it. Protect it. Pass it on.” — Thurgood Marshall
After my daughter watched the documentary Finding Neverland the other night, she wrote me a note that landed deep in my soul.
She said, “Thank you for such a wonderful childhood. Thank you for loving me. And, perhaps most importantly, thank you for always protecting me.”
I sat and stared at those last two words.
Protecting my children has always been a huge deal to me. I know it is for most parents. It’s our job to keep our children safe. It’s our job to be on guard against people or situations that might seem appealing, but are actually dangerous. It’s our job to build resilient children who can pave their own way and stand on their own two feet.
Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about the role of “the protector.” I’ve thought about how, when I was young and naive, I thought it was a man’s job to protect. Now as a seasoned protector myself, I no longer hold onto that childish view.
This talk looks at three ways of awakening our hearts—seeing goodness, feeling appreciation as a bodily experience, and expressing our care. We are then guided in developing each of these capacities by focusing our attention on someone we care about, with whom we’d like to experience our full potential for loving.
YES, you guessed it - LOVE is the cure for loneliness.
There is so much loneliness in our world today. Not only within our lives but on a global level, loneliness is fueled by fear, hatred and mis-trust.
A song written and recorded in 1944 that was popular with my parents’ generation had the refrain: “Accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative.” Those who lived through the Great Depression and World War II often developed one of two responses to life: fear or hope, or perhaps a mix of both. You can see hope in songs like this one. And I definitely saw it in my mother when I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s. Without fail, she always looked for the positive in any situation, person, or event. If someone behaved in an unpleasant manner, my mother’s response was inevitably, “She means well.” And then she would find something nice to say about the person.
What would it be like to feel love in every moment, to live your life from that place? Is it possible? I believe it is. In this week’s video blog, I talk about how a new dimension can open up to us when we center our hearts and minds in loving the people and the world around us. When you see possibilities instead of problems, everything begins to unfold in expansive and magical ways.
My husband and I were standing next to the large raft that would be carrying us through the rapids of the White Salmon River. Our Guide, Mike was instructing us on how to achieve the most powerful Point of Contact between the oar and the river. I was immediately reminded of my thoughts during a hike the previous day.
On the hike, I paused long enough to fully absorb the message I was receiving. We need to shift our thoughts and behaviors enough to create a space for God’s love to land. Space was created on the dirt path. God arrived, I listened.
As I stood in the back of my church on Palm Sunday, I found myself thinking a lot. Actually, I came into church already thinking, as I had just spent an afternoon with a friend who was struggling with cancer.
A year ago, my friend was the picture of health—laughing, debating issues of the day, and planning her future like the rest of us. She is my age, and like my friend Nancy whom I wrote about last week, there is no future left to dream about for her, either. So instead, we reminisced about the past.
The past made us laugh. It was filled with adventures and possibilities. Dreams and opportunities. I called her on my way home and said, “Thank you for today. There’s nothing like an old friendship.” “So true,” she replied.
They say that youth is wasted on the young. So is our health. So, whether you’re young or old, I encourage you to value your friendships. Value your health. (I hope you’ll register and join me in June for Move for Minds 2018.) Value the moments you have now to let someone know that you care about them.
Love is quite simply the most precious possession in existence. And my mission is to share the best insights I know to bring more love into each of your lives. Today, I want to share the most powerful way to create MORE LOVE in your life in 2018.
This beautiful insight comes from my dear friend Ken Page’s game-changing best seller Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.
If you want more love in 2018, try this life-changing exercise from Ken:
Think about all the people you know, from your nearest and dearest to people you may not have thought about for years. And just ask yourself these three questions:
- Who truly loves me?
- Who sees and treasures me for who I really am?
- Whom do I trust to have my best interests at heart?
Each of the people you picked is gold. They are your personal dream-team in life. The very wisest path to love is to nurture these relationships – by doing three things:
Practice asking for more from each of them as well (yes, it’s true, asking for more is an act of intimacy!)
And most of all: enjoy them. This last suggestion is perhaps the greatest act of life wisdom that I know.
Follow these 3 steps and watch 2018 blossom into the most love-filled year of your life.
In Deeper Dating, Ken teaches “micro-meditations;” small practices that take less than three minutes, but have the power to enrich your entire intimacy journey. This micro-meditation can be your foundation for a love-filled 2018.
Micro-Meditation: The Love that’s Already Yours
“Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see.” ~The Conductor, Polar Express
So, what's on your holiday list this year? A healthy dose of rage for the husband who doesn't even pretend to be civil around your extended family?
Insurmountable sadness for the child who has chosen such an alternative path of independence that he or she refuses to come home to celebrate anymore? Incalculable jealousy for the whip-smart size 6 sister who just received the ultimate career promotion all while being married to the doting husband and whose children both received full-ride scholarships to college? Perhaps it's a super-sized portion of guilt and self-pity as you polish off the last of the homemade Christmas cookies and gooey toffee by candlelight once the kids are tucked in snug as little bugs awaiting the arrival of jolly old St. Nicholas.
As you mix a strong vodka martini to attempt to drown your emotional landscape, allow me to share with you the one precious and unexpected gift I received this year that delivered such a profound ‘ah ha!’ moment that my own personal and protected list of transgressions have shriveled to almost nothing.
Not long ago, as the monster category 5 storm named Hurricane Irma was beating a path to our front door, I experienced what I can only describe as a miracle of consciousness.
Manifesting our heart’s desire doesn’t always happen instantly, magically, or effortlessly.
It rarely happens that way.
It can often be a long, circuitous route.
In fact, it’s normal, to sometimes get to the point where you say to yourself:
“It’s just too hard.”
“It isn’t meant to be.”
Blah. Blah. Blah.
And, then, it’s up to YOU to re-ignite your passion and persistence, to take daily steps to make your dreams come true.
“We use them each and every day without giving them so much as a second thought,” says thought-leader, author and philosopher Ken Wilber.
He’s referring to some Gifts that come with our lives in the Western, or developed world, although some range beyond that and apply even in primitive societies.
He focuses on four we never think about, calling them “Mental Software” that is installed, without our necessarily understanding that it’s happening, as Givens in our society. So he’s not talking about Awareness; the ability to Think; my favourite – the ability to compare (similars) and contrast (dissimilars); or the necessities most of us do take for granted: food, potable water, shelter. We’ve had a stark illustration of having that rug pulled out from under us in the situation in Puerto Rico, where a large portion of the population has been living without those. Could you go a week without these survival supports that are normally provided for us in modern society? I wouldn’t know where to start.
Ready to feel better and heal faster? Many scientific studies, including research by renowned psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, have found that people who consciously focus on gratitude experience greater emotional well-being and physical health than those who don’t.
This week has been so rich with ups and downs I must have meditated at least 3 times daily just to keep myself sane. My oracle cards were also on point so nothing really came as a surprise when Chaos and Conflict, Not For You, was followed by more of the same. I think I chose the card with the saying “ not my circus, not my monkeys” four times over 5 days.
In healing my own heart, I’ve found that there’s an evolutionary process that occurs as I move from awareness to appreciation. I’ve broken this process down into nine steps so that you can recognize where you are currently and then see where you can move to. I will be using my own life experiences as examples of how you can use these steps to open up, ask for help from the Archangels, and allow healing into your heart. By witnessing my journey from beginning to end, it is my hope that you can take what fits for you, relate it to your own present or past circumstances, and reach a place where true healing is realized. This is my process of self-love and forgiveness.
Most of my life I was Angry and Arrogant.
It did not make me happy. I saw attacks everywhere. If you told me the Universe had my back, I would respond in one of two ways. One was, “Of course!” (How could it be otherwise for Me?). Or the other, “I had to fight tooth and claw for everything in my life” against prevailing forces.