We are born whole, free and absolutely perfect. Yet oftentimes, during the course of our lives, we get shut down in that natural process.

Imagine when you were a toddler, expressing yourself with creativity and love while doing what comes naturally through curiosity and exploration, such as singing loudly or shrieking in pure joy. Then, because you happened to be in a place where behavior such as this is deemed inappropriate (such as a church service or public location), a parent or adult steps in and scolds you. Confused by this reaction, you begin to learn that being your authentic self will get you in trouble and so you begin to shut down that part of yourself. You shove that joyful part of yourself to the side, questioning:

“If I’m not supposed to be who I am naturally and authentically, then who am I supposed to be being? Who am I supposed to be, if I’m not supposed to be me?”

It’s time to crack your money codes.

Have you ever felt unworthy or unwanted, or experienced feelings of depression, sadness or anxiety?

These codes easily have us playing dangerous games that often result in things like unfulfilled relationships, depression and mindless addiction.

And when these ego mind codes or feelings occur, your confidence goes out the door, replaced by feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem.  The result is suffering on every level. The body, mind and soul shatter when you lose connection to the peace and trust codes that facilitate forgiveness.

No matter how badly you currently feel about yourself, you can heal your shame and feel excited about your life.

“I have no value.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t like myself.”
“If they really knew me, they wouldn’t like me.”
“I don’t deserve to be loved by God.”
“I’m not important.”
“My inner child doesn’t deserve to be loved by me.”

I hear this theme over and over from my clients. Shame is a major issue for many people.

Shame comes from two different places:

• Others shaming us
• Shaming ourselves.

Shame from Others

As a child, Torre was abused in many ways by her father. Her father used to tell her that she was ugly, that she shouldn’t have been born, that she was garbage. He would hit her with a belt with no provocation, and often touched her inappropriately. Of course, she grew up believing that she had no value.

Rumi invites us to find the barriers we’ve erected against love, and a universal one is blame. These three talks are an invitation to relax those barriers, and to open our hearts to our inner life and to all beings. Part I focuses on chronic self-judgment; Part II on the places of deep self-condemnation, and Part III on where we have locked into anger, blame or hatred of others. Each includes guided reflections that can support us in directly awakening beyond the confining thoughts and feelings of blame.

“Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi

It’s something you hear in this season, when so many have to face that they are not going to fulfill that well-meant New Year’s Resolution.

Is that your conscience, or do you just feel guilty?

Conscience is something bigger, the sense of Right and Wrong. It seems to be innate, but flexible to nurture. Admittedly, some people appear not to have one, or have resisted it long enough that it doesn’t impinge on their actions.

When I was a kid watching the (original) Mickey Mouse Club, Jiminy Cricket had a song, moralistic as much of Disney was, about conscience:

      “Take the straight and narrow path

      And if you start to slide,

      Give a little whistle…Give a little whistle…

      And always let your conscience be your guide.”

Last Saturday when I was taking a bootcamp class at my gym, I noticed this adorable twenty-something standing next to me. Although I have seen her before, I have never talked to her. Truth is, she generally works out every morning at 6 AM, whereas I stumble in at 7 AM. I have in the past overheard some of her conversations. They generally revolve around what she is eating and her asking advice from others since she is "starving herself and not losing any more weight." Having been in that situation for a huge portion of my life, I have had tremendous empathy for her. Although part of me wanted to jump right in and save her, I could hear my three daughters (who are also in their twenties) in my head saying, "Mom, don't be scary!" So beyond complimenting her whenever I could and was appropriate, I kept my scary-self quiet.