Solving the mystery of reality is left to experts, which is nothing new. The explanations of the cosmos is assigned to physicists today as it was assigned to theologians in an age of faith. In some ways modern people are even less interested in the topic. Your soul isn’t likely to be in jeopardy if you don’t accept the Big Bang.
In a new book titledMetahuman: Unleashing Your Infinite Potential, I hope to change this indifferent attitude by showing that the mystery of reality is actually personal. You are the same mystery as the cosmos. My argument isn’t religious or scientific, however. It is based on consciousness, and it begins with a common experience: eating a meal.
I seem to be living through a time in which everything previously experienced in my life is falling away. In the midst of these changes, I find myself standing face to face with a truth that has always existed but is now front and center in my consciousness: There is no past.When we have lived an experience, it disappears from this dimension. It may continue in another dimension, but here, now, in the present, it quite literally no longer exists. In our memories, it shape-shifts and eventually fades as well. We are left with this moment, nothing else.
I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years. And without exception, the single biggest obstacle that has held them back from achieving their goals has always been – themselves! We haven’t learnedhow to overcome procrastinationand laziness.
WE are our own biggest roadblock.
We let our fears immobilize us and tell ourselves stories that justify our reluctance to take action. We convince ourselves that we’re not good enough, and that our efforts will probably end in failure.
But those stories are pure fiction and have no real basis in reality.
And today I’m going to show you how to rewrite those stories once and for all, so you can free yourself from “procrastination paralysis” and finally become a “do-er” instead of a dreamer.
Stress is our own individual unique experience. You have all felt its threat at some time or the other, moreover, perhaps experienced its onslaught. Remaining impervious to it, in today's fast track world, is almost obviously an impossibility. So examining its reasons and finding ways of dealing with it, is actually our prime duty towards ourselves.
Stress has, we can say in a broad spectrum, five different forms.
SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE We can actually say that stress is the subjective experience of distress. That is when it is a perceived threat to ones well being, or one's position in society. More so when dealing with it, exceeds one's resources.
We need to decipher for ourselves, how to figure it.
Are you seriously wanting to see a change in your life?
Most people are!
Maybe you’re feeling a bit lonely and wondering how to attract a loving relationship…
Perhaps you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed and needing to find a better way to thrive each day…
Maybe you’re simply tired of being impacted by all the negativity that seems so prevalent today…
Many people we meet are struggling to create a change in their lives. Disappointment and frustration seem epidemic: from poor relationships to financial struggles to health/wellbeing and weight loss issues…and so much more! It’s tragic — and it doesn’t have to be this way.
Regardless of the situation, if you’re reading this it’s probably because you’re ready to take the next step and transform your life. You’re ready to experience a major breakthrough in your life.
The opposite of rational is not irrational but intuitive. And while the mind and heart work together, my experience is that the heart absorbs and integrates more deeply than the mind. One way to think of intuition is as an aperture that opens and closes the heart like the lens of a camera, letting in life until it colors our soul.
Reason is often an intermediary for a quicker, deeper, more elusive facility. Reason allows us to think like a ladder, while intuition allows us to think like a constellation. Weaving both, I write about what I need to know, not what I already know. If I had only written about what I know all these years, I would have written very little.
The truth is that I feel things more quickly and more deeply than I understand them. I understand things more quickly and deeply than I can speak them. And I speak things more quickly and deeply than I can write them. One of the reasons I am so prolific is that, years ago, I gave up the notion that I had to understand what I was feeling, thinking, speaking, or writing before I could put it down. Since that time, my writing has become an ongoing curriculum, because I no longer record what I understand but explore what I feel.
How do you choose to nourish yourself? Do you seek out healthy ways to rejuvenate, or do you lean more toward distractions? Sometimes, when we’re just trying to let go and feel free, turning a blind eye to how we choose to unwind can have a big impact on our finances.
These days many of us are pushed to our limits. We face stress from work, lower than desired pay, and diminished personal connections. To make ourselves feel better, we often lurch from the newest thing to the latest thing to the hippest thing, all things external. That can be fun — sometimes too much fun because a high price tag can come with that behavior. Often times, when we chase moments of materialistic pleasure, we find ourselves far away from who we really are and what we truly want. And, when we try to buy our way to contentment, new stress arrives when we open our monthly credit card statements.
What does it feel like when you nourish yourself in a healthy way?
Shaking my head, I heard the words come out of my mouth, “Oh my god, that’s just all sorts of wrong.” Then I realized what I was doing. I was looking at a 62-year old woman on television who was performing on stage wearing a black tight-fitting jumpsuit and showinga whole lotof cleavage through the sheer fabric on her upper chest. I looked at my husband and he was doing the same—not with words but with a look of disapproval on his face. We were full-on judging this woman that we’ve never even met.
It's hard to admit it but we all do it. We judge all the time. “He’s so weird,” “I’m such a loser,” “She has poor taste in men,” or “Why am I so stupid?” Just a couple of days ago, I judged a friend of mine for cutting off his father from his life. While I was walking my dogs this morning, I judged the person I greeted and smiled at for not reciprocating. And I will probably have something to slap judgment on throughout the day.
"The moment a woman comes home to herself, the moment she knows that she has become a person of influence... who is respected and recognized, the resurrection of the world begins." — Joan Chittister
I've Been Thinking...
The other day, my daughter Christina watched the documentary“RBG”about Ruth Bader Ginsburg and said she couldn’t believe how much this one woman has done in her lifetime on behalf of other women. She said it got her thinking about all the other women who have done so much, yet whose stories we know so little about.
“It’s crazy that so many women my age don’t know about all of the barriers they’ve broken for us,” Christina said. “We don’t know enough about what these women have accomplished, or about what they’re still doing to instigate change.”
Amen, I thought. Amen to acknowledging all that has been done before us, and all that’s still being done. Amen to taking a moment to acknowledge all the women whose shoulders we stand on.
Christina’s words came to mind this Tuesday when I learned that veteran journalist Cokie Roberts had passed away due to breast cancer complications. I gasped when I heard the news.
Like me, Cokie was a child of politics who found her calling in journalism. When I was starting out, Cokie, Barbara Walters, Linda Ellerbee, and Nancy Dickerson were among the women who were out there working hard so that women like myself could succeed.
Growing up half Italian and eating my mom’s cooking, I’m always up for a good pizza. One night, I met some friends, and we found the perfect spot for the “best pizza in town.” I think we all drooled with expectation as our lovely waitress came to take our order.
As she came back with a full tray of drinks, she looked directly at me.“Oh my God! It’s you! I have to tell you what happened when you gave me a message. Would you mind if I talk to you when you’re finished eating?”After my friends and I said our goodbyes, I headed to the kitchen to find my rather nervous waitress Sandy.“Some years ago, I was at the bookstore and heard you were going to speak that evening,”she explained.“I was lucky enough to get one of the few remaining tickets."
“You pointed straight at me and said, ‘This is for the young woman in the back row. I have your father here and he’s asking for forgiveness from you. Do you understand that?’”
Once a man awoke to find himself in a room he didn’t quite recognize. Nothing was certain except for an unexplained dizzy feeling. All around him were mirrors, closets, and tables with trays of different-colored makeup. The place was familiar, but what was he doing there? Anxiety began to seep in as he struggled to remember. But remember what? This was obviously the dressing room of some large theater, but what was his role? Each time he looked into the mirror he felt a stab of pain, because he wasn’t quite sure who was looking back at him. He felt suddenly alone.
Not knowing what else to do, he ran over and opened one of the closets. Inside he found a stiffly pressed, well-decorated uniform that obviously belonged to a very important general. He liked the strength of its appearance. Perhaps this was his costume. Quickly he dressed himself and stood at attention in front of one of the large dressing mirrors. His heart sank. This was a bold wardrobe indeed…but not his. As much as he didn’t want to, he took off the uniform. He tried another closet. This had in it a brightly colored costume from a circus. Not wasting a minute, he jumped into it. No good. Besides not fitting him, the costume made him look and feel like a clown. His desperation mounted. He tried another closet.
What’s the difference between resignation and surrender? To me, resignation seems to have a hopeless aspect to it, giving up on possibility. Surrender doesn’t have that flavor. It’s more a letting go of control, so that life can bring possibility to you instead of your clutching at it. Yet, perhaps there is more to resignation than first meets the eye. What if you have to go through resignation to get to surrender? What if in resigning yourself to life not turning out the way you thought it would, you let go at such a deep level that complete surrender is at last possible? In expecting nothing, you open the door to everything.
To simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harms, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals.
Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be emerging as well.
Our hunter-gatherer ancestors depended upon their habitats for food and shelter. Today, over 7 billion of us are pressing hard up against the limits of Lifeboat Earth. To survive and to flourish, cultural and perhaps biological evolution are calling us to love the world.
The world is near to hand in the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the weather and climate in which you spend your days. And then in widening circles, the world extends out to include complex webs of life and the physical characteristics of the land, the sea, and the sky.
It requires inner work for you to cultivate a perspective within yourself that sees your intellect as a servant, not as your identity.
To the extent you are capable of doing that, you can then play the game of academia, do the work that only can be done in that analytic fashion without being trapped in it, and have your interaction with other people through the game.
It’s like Monopoly in which you’re the top hat and I’m the thimble, but behind it you’re here, I’m here, and you’ve gotta be there. The predicament in academia is many people identify with their thoughts so much that they think they are an academic, instead of being a being who’sdoingacademics.
I recommend making, and listening to, audio recordings of your own voice that are positive and in the present tense, as if the belief or feeling you are wanting to reprogram has already happened. For example: “I am healthy” or “I am worthy and loved.” The function of the mind is to create coherence between your beliefs and your reality. Listening to positive and present tense affirmations helps to create this coherence.
Have you ever had a gut feeling, decided not to listen to it, and then later regretted that decision?
This has been the case for so many people. In the last 30 years of my work, talking with tens of thousands of individuals, nearly all have said they regretted ignoring their gut feelings. In fact, never in all those years have I heard someone say, “I had this gut feeling, this inner voice, and I went with it, and boy do I regret it.”
It’s time to do the math. When we regret ignoring that small, inner voice 100% of the time, we should learn that trusting it is the obvious way to go.
We know we should listen to that gut feeling, and yet we override that small voice all the time because we doubt it; we think we’re not enough; we think we couldn’t possibly know more than the authorities or those who have come before us and so on. What we must understand is that we are built of creativity and are destined to come up withnewanswers and solutions – to bring new ideas that work and to be innovative – and oftentimes those ideas start with that small, inner feeling in our gut.
Have you ever felt lost? Not in the Google Maps kind of way but in life? Do you sometimes feel like your life is not going anywhere? You feel overwhelmed, you don’t know what to do, where to go, who to turn to—you simply don’t know what to do with yourself. It happens to the best of us sometimes. But why?
In our connected world, too many people and other stuff find their way to us competing for our attention. The digital world, particularly social media, gave birth to a new way to get us addicted to consuming content that’s not always good for us. In truth, even those that are seemingly inspirational and beneficial for us, can prove to be detrimental.
There also seems to be way too many experts, teachers, influencers and gurus who claim that they could change our life and solve all our problems. How many times have you fallen into that trap? Reading countless books, enrolling in courses, attending workshops and seminars that’s supposed to change our lives but we end up in the same place—lost, confused and even more overwhelmed than when we began. Why? They’re supposed to help us, right? What gives?
One of my favorite saying is this: “if you don’t want to burn out, stop living like you are on fire!”
My fantasy is that I “glide through life,” and yet my reality is more like, OMG! Holy Shit! and I race around like the world will end if I don’t finish my To-Do list. Of course this creates tons of stress, anxiety, crazy fears that something bad is gonna happen, etc.
As I mentioned last week, my go to solution is EFT Tapping and I decided to ask my friends what they do to bring themselves back to neutral, sanity, or whatever happy place they want to be.
When I was young, my Dad would always tell me to “think and breathe before you speak.” He was one of these very thoughtful men who never went anywhere without a book in his hand. He was all about learning, about expanding our view of the world, and he was all about being grounded and centered before opening one’s mouth. He spoke 14 languages fluently (although with a strong accent.) He taught me words were everything, and even more to listen deeply beyond the surface to what is not said too.
I, on the other hand—rebellious, reactive, noisy, always challenging everything asking “Why?” and not giving much credit to his love of clear focus and being discerning with one’s words.
He’d remind me, “Be careful once you say that because you can’t take those words back.”
This week, in particular, I’ve made a commitment to do that. Think and breathe before I speak. But that actually doesn’t work (sorry dad) because it’s backward. Breathe first, think after—then speak!
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