Mad Kings, Court Jesters, and Public Insanity

For many people the current instability in Washington, coupled with a President who combines irrational whims, vindictiveness, and amorality, has become much more than alarming. A prominent figure from the Obama White House publicly mourned that we’ve gone from despair to disbelief. Something insane seems to be happening, and it’s happening in broad daylight while the keepers of sanity stand by helplessly.

 

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Embrace your Imperfection (video)

I had a project I was procrastinating that was long overdue. I kept waiting for everything to be exactly perfect before I started it, yet that time never came. The concern that people weren’t going to like it if it wasn’t top notch loomed over me for weeks. Yet the guilt for not completing it hung right next to it.

 

That started me wondering why I was so concerned about it being “perfect.” Then it hit me…that was what had been drilled into me. From the time we are a child in school through adulthood working in our career, we are “graded” on the quality of our work. This can cause fear, which leads to stress, which leads to the dragging of feet, which leads to more stress.

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How to Take the Empowerment Position With People Who Have Bullying and Psychotic Personalities

One of the major human lessons today is learning to take our power back and reposition ourselves above the bullying and abuse that exists in the world.


Bullies and psychopaths are not just in the movies, they are real personality types. Manipulation and control are as addictive as heroin to these people. While they make horrible spouses and BFF's, they are amazing spiritual teachers!


If a person has low self-worth or is lacking in self-respect they will attract these types of people and will probably get into a close relationship with them. They will keep these people close until they have learned the lessons they need to be more self-loving and self-respecting.


In my earliest of years I had experienced lots of brutal abuse of every kind. This led me to believe that I didn't matter a whole lot. On more of a toxic level I subconsciously believed that I existed to be an abuse toy for other people. This led to a string of psychopaths and emotionally abusive bullies. I allowed men and women alike to manipulate, control and abuse me. I am also incredibly empathic which played a dynamic in this unhealthy cycle.


If you are easy-going, and empathic, you may be a target for psychopaths.


Being easy-going, or laid-back, may lead the power-hungry and manipulative to perceive you as possible prey for their shenanigans. Someone once said, "Don't mistake kindness for weakness."

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Why is it so important to come to terms with aging?

I remember when I became irrelevant.


I mean, you can walk down certain streets in any city and you’re either a potential, a competitor, or irrelevant. I became a walking lamp post after awhile. It was incredible because people look right through you, they don’t even see you. At first I got all uptight about it and I’d wear my hair spread all over my head and do all these things. Get tighter suits and diet and everything so I’d be somebody, but then it’s a new moment, and you realize that’s the way it is.

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How to celebrate #Giving Day!

Ok, can I just say how much I LOVE what today means? Not sure if its everywhere in the world but it is an important day in the USA and Canada.


I’m not sure who made it official but it’s the day of the year where charities call out to us to help their causes.


There are so many charities that depend solely on our donations to survive and to make a difference in the world. Today is that day when we really can make a difference.

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How To Deal With Failure, Grow and Find the Gift

When things don’t go according to plan or work out how you intended, it can be a huge disappointment and let down, especially when you have invested so much time, energy, and money.


It’s easy to judge yourself as a failure and beat yourself up harshly. But this serves nothing.


When you try so hard and your dreams don’t happen, it’s easy to question yourself and even want to give up on the dream itself.


But what if there was no such thing as “failure”? 

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These Are the Things I’m Grateful For

On this Sunday after Thanksgiving, I find myself reflecting. I am reflecting on the larger world we share. I am reflecting on our country and all that is going on here at home. And, I am reflecting on my own, smaller, world, right here within myself.


Through reflection, I find that I am able to be both optimistic and deeply troubled by the state of our world. I am troubled by the violence that exists in our society, by the state of men and women’s relationships right now, and by the hopelessness that so many feel about our politics and our national discourse. But, I am also optimistic that we are in the midst of a national awakening. I believe that we are in an awakening about our politics, about power, about the realities of sexual harassment, about economic inequality, and about the importance of having a free press that can do its job.

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Tis’ the Season to Give Thanks

In my past when I’ve thought about THANKSGIVING; I’ve always thought about history, family, good food and being thankful for what was immediate in my life. Good friends and family, etc.

 

Now that I am older and wiser -  I think about what it means to be grateful. I think about where I am in my life. At this time.

 

When I think about how gratitude feels for me now…

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What To Do When You Are Feeling Lost (video)

We all have moments when we feel lost and unsure of what is going on, where we are going or what to do next.


What if in your greatest darkness when you felt lost, you were actually much closer to where you needed to be?


It’s scary to sit in the unknown. It’s often easier to go back to the familiar comforts of your old life. But this only leads to more of the same.

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Waking, dreaming, and sleeping happen in you

Many years ago, Science magazine declared that one of the most important and unanswered questions in science is What is the universe made of? Today, we still don't know the answer.


Part of the problem is that we, as human beings, are part of the very universe we are trying to understand. Therefore, it goes without saying that if we don't understand our own nature, we are likely to misunderstand the nature of the universe.

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Butterfly Effects

The aptly named “butterfly effect” has become well known in recent years as people begin to take seriously the interconnectedness of all life on our planet, as well as the nature of energy itself. The name refers to the possibility that the movement of a butterfly’s wings affects the world around it in unforeseen ways. The greater truth of this idea resonates within my own life again and again, often quite literally.

 

Several weeks ago, I reread Sharon Salzberg’s book Faith, published in 2002. I had read it then, but I was moved to take it off the shelf again because its title called to me strongly. As my spiritual journey has deepened, I have found myself repeatedly stepping off the edge of certainty (or the illusion of it) into the unknown. Over the past two months, everything seemed to fall away until I realized that I was being asked to move forward completely on “faith.” Thus my reason for rereading Sharon’s book. With each chapter, I saw how much more deeply I connected with it than I had 15 years before.

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Turning The Tables on Turkey Day Trauma & Trepidation

Happy almost-Thanksgiving! If you are like me, I'm sure that you cannot believe the holidays are already upon us. What happened to Fall? Although the song says "Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays," despite what we see in Hallmark Channel's Five Night Thanksgiving Movie Event, the fact is that most of us experience a sense of dread as we envision our upcoming holiday gatherings. Feelings of resistance, anxiety, and resignation start to bubble up as we anticipate the drama and dis-ease that will undoubtedly accompany the candied yams and pumpkin pie. As we contemplate the upcoming holiday, our minds naturally drift back to Thanksgivings past and we automatically become stressed out thinking about our family dynamic and the scenarios that consistently cause trauma and trepidation before we get to and/or around the Thanksgiving table. Any hope of warm and fuzzy feelings turn cold and cautious as we contemplate situations like:

  • How do I once again try to explain to my family why I have to bring my own food since I eat vegan or gluten-free?

  • What can I do to appease my parents and in-laws, who are all divorced but expect us to show up and make their Thanksgiving meal the most significant one?

  • How should I handle it this year when, at the last minute, my sister-in-law once again decides to invite four more people to dinner?

  • What do I do when Uncle Bob brings up politics and the holiday goes from being about pilgrims, Native Americans, and gratitude to Democrats vs. Republicans and hate and hurling insults?

  • How do I not get pissed off at my family when they stay glued to the couch and watching TV as I do all of the work in the kitchen?
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5 Tips to Stop Seeking Approval from Others

I spent 13 years as an actress and in that time I learned that it wasn’t my job to make sure the auditors or audience was loving my performance. My job was to live in the moment and focus on my craft.  

 

What did that mean?  

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Don’t Forget To Smile

Sometimes life gets hectic and things seem to pass by in a blur. Other times the weight of the things occurring may cause you to feel weary or down.

 

There are times life invites you to embrace uncomfortability, stretch your boundaries and reevaluate your limits. Sometimes in unpredictable, but pleasant new ways; other times in ways riddled with challenges.

 

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Why the Silence?

Sexual Assault is a violation that occurs in many different forms with the side-effects lasting a lifetime.

 

So, why does a victim stay silent at all?

 

I think it is easy to look at someone’s situation or circumstance and pass judgments based on what you would do. Because it is easy to say if…  then I would …

 

However, thinking about a circumstance or a situation and playing out the scenario in your head is extremely different than having lived it and experienced it for yourself firsthand.

 

Violations of this degree go far beyond the physical act. The victim is left with permanent emotional, physical, and psychological scars. Meaning that once the act itself is over, it isn’t over for the victim. The victim often re-lives that act repeatedly because of the multiple ways to which the violation impacts them. Leaving them with more than one could imagine, to learn to cope with.

 

Probably one of the most common reasons silence occurs is fear. But fear confines us all in different ways.

 

And a victim stays silent for several other reasons:

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#metoo Out of the Silence Comes Dignity and Healing

I like to blog about things related to how we co- create reality, and solutions that can help us become the person we want to be. I am always focused on this and feel it’s important to know there is a spiritual solution for every problem. I also only write about what I know and what I’ve overcome. I share only from experience. I have to keep it real, or you’re going to be reading fluff, and if you’re anything like me you can smell BS a mile away. Not into stinky.


I’ve been watching the trending topic of the #metoo movement that has set fire to Hollywood in recent weeks. To be honest I have taken my time rather than jump in because I think it’s a very sensitive issue, and yes I tend to stay away from hot button issues (like politics and religion too) because they can be divisive, and it’s not why people read my blogs.
I have been called to talk about this regardless.


For those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about in a nutshell it began with movie mogul Harvey Weinstein being called out for sexual abuse, and then an avalanche of women began to share their stories, and then some men came to add their voices too.
In the past few weeks #metoo has been shared millions of times on social media as women and men who have experienced sexual abuse from people in power have spoken out about their secrets and shame, and how the experience affected them.


Make no mistake this form of abuse is soul destroying and will, for some people, create an internal set up, a commitment to maintain all manner of coping behaviors that can take a lifetime to unravel. Not talking about it, keeping it a secret is the first way in which we rob ourselves of our true nature of joy and abundance. Our dignity and self worth depends on sharing and healing.


Last night my husband and myself watched a movie called Wind River and there is a rape scene in the film that brought back so many memories, I knew it was time to add my voice.

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Are You Highly Sensitive?

One of the biggest AHA moments of my life was when I discovered that I wasn’t crazy…. I found out that being super sensitive to loud noises and bright lights (and more) is actually a condition with a name – it’s called being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

What a relief it was to discover not only a name for my peculiar reactions to life, but that there are also solutions. (Some are below!)

About 20% of the population is born with heightened sensitivities. One definition of HSP is described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and high emotional reactivity.

How do you know if you are an HSP?

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How do we address the lack of environmental awareness?

Someone asked me if the earth will still be habitable when their three year-old grows up, and is that a part of the cosmic perfection?

More than ever we are awakening to being an integral part of earth’s ecosystem. As inhabitants of this planet we have some responsibility for the nest we live in and maintaining the nest. The same way we clean up our house, we also have to clean up our environment.

Environmental consciousness seems to be happening too slowly. Some people are motivated to keep it from happening. There are economic costs in that awakening — not in the long run, but in the short run – in ways that cause realignment of economic power. People who have that power have a lot of inertia, they want to hold onto it. A company like General Electric may not be ready for dramatic shifts unless they are forced into it because it may change their stockholder dividend.

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My Birthday Reflection

As I approach my birthday and a new year of life, I’ve been thinking about how blessed I am.


I’m blessed to live in this country. Blessed to have my family and my friends. Blessed to be in conversation with a loving non-judgmental god. Blessed to have work that interests me. Blessed to be in community with people who are good, kind, compassionate and inspiring. I include you, the readers of The Sunday Paper, as part of that community.

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Surrender - Must We, Really?

Most teachers of Spiritual Elevation get to it: Surrender and your life will transform.


But doesn’t Surrender mean Giving Up? ‘Cos that doesn’t sound like something I want to do. For example:


One path we shall never choose, is the path of surrender, or submission.”  –John F. Kennedy

Or:

“If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds.”  —Jesse Jackson


In fact, we’re talking about a different kind of surrender. It’s commonplace to say; but (I have found) it can
be difficult to do. “Let Go, Let God”…”Go with the Flow”…Or:


”All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling.”
–Blaise Pascal


One of my favourites is: “Don’t Push the River.” That comes from the patriarch of Gestalt psychology, Fritz Perls. One of the reasons I like it is that it “flows” naturally into what for me is the clearest analogy for this, the kayak and the river.


I like having a handy image that explains Surrender, as it’s something I think of a lot.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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