What's the "wallpaper" in your own mind?

Are you full to the rim?

The Practice:
Finish what is in your cup.

Why?

Once upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. The scholar burst out: "Stop! You can't add anything to something that's already full!" The saint set down the teapot and replied, "Exactly."

Whether it's the blankness of a canvas to an artist, the silence between the notes in music, bare dirt for a new garden, the not-knowing openness of a scientist exploring new hypotheses, an unused shelf in a closet or cupboard, or some open time in your schedule, you need space to act effectively, dance with your partners, and have room around your emotional reactions.

Yet most of us, me included, tend to stuff as much as possible into whatever room is available - room in closets, schedules, budgets, relationships, and even the mind itself.

When I recently attended a bootcamp class at my gym, I noticed this adorable twenty-something standing next to me. Although I have seen her before, I have never talked to her. Truth is, she generally works out every morning at 6 AM, whereas I stumble in at 7 AM. I have in the past overheard some of her conversations. They generally revolve around what she is eating and her asking advice from others since she is “starving herself and not losing any more weight.” Having been in that situation for a huge portion of my life, I have had tremendous empathy for her. Although part of me wanted to jump right in and save her, I could hear my three daughters (who are also in their twenties) in my head saying, “Mom, don’t be scary!” So beyond complimenting her whenever I could and was appropriate, I kept my scary-self quiet.

But on this day, my mind was on overdrive, stunned by the news that continues to come out of the growing number of reports of sexual assault and harassment as part of the #MeToo movement and of the women (and men) whom were silenced by the shadow of shame and frozen by fear.

Victory over our own lower nature is now or never. We can't end conflict later. We can't stop being sad, cruel, angry, scared, or anxious later. Thinking, or hoping, that any destination we have in mind is going to be superior to where we're presently standing is exactly why we're still standing in that same place where we have to hope that some tomorrow will be better.

Later does not exist in reality.

Only to the lower self does the concept of "later" have any merit. This self-created, false concept of time allows it to create yet another “you” in another time when you'll be a wiser, stronger, and generally superior individual.

But your higher nature knows for you to experience the miracle of real inner transformation, to step up to a superior life level, you must no longer think in terms of how you'll be "next time." It understands, as we must, that a change in nature is immediate; it is now, or it won't be at all.

And so it's imperative to meet each moment of your life with this realization: it's only what you do right now that is the seed of change. And in the endless beauty and mystery of what is the now, this same seed of change is also the seed of a New Self. Here's why this is true: If you choose to change right now, then you won't have to worry about how to be different next time!

When feeling scattered, collect and concentrate your thoughts and feelings.

To what is your mind given?

The Practice:
Come to a place of calm center.

Why?

I’m old enough to remember a time when people usually answered “good” when you asked them the standard, “How are you?” (often said “harya?”). These days the answer is commonly “busy.”

I know what it feels like to get very busy and start to feel dispersed: juggling a dozen priorities at any moment, attention skittering from one thing to another, body revved up, feeling stretched thin and spread out like being squished between two sheets of glass.

Do you know the feeling? Besides being both unpleasant and a spigot of stress hormones, it’s weirdly contagious. Spreading from one person to another and fueled in part by the underlying economics of consumerism, we now have a Western and especially American culture of busyness. If you’re not busy, you must not be important. If you don’t have a lot on your mind, you must be under-performing. If your kids aren’t busy with homework and after-school activities, they won’t get ahead. If you don’t look busy, someone will ask you to work harder. Etc.

Enough already. Instead of being scattered to the four winds, collect and concentrate your mind and energy. Besides feeling a lot better, it’s more effective in the long run. For example, what does an Olympic gymnast do before launching a tumbling run or a rocket before heading into space? Come to center.

One thing about a seasonal change is, well, change! On our farm, we have become hosts to various nests – owls, sparrows, robins and more. We have a mated pair of coywolves who have made a den in the ravine and all manner of other creatures including some very bold raccoons seem to think it’s ok to stroll past our house in broad daylight like they own the place and we don’t count. Now thankfully, we have a ten-foot fence around the back of the compound so my teeny Pomeranians don’t get eaten, but I always have to go out with them and supervise just in case the pair of red-tailed hawks that hang out in the trees decide they look like snacks. This morning I went out with the fluff balls and stood under a new robin’s nest (or should I say condo) that she skillfully built right above the door and whose occupant decided to poop on my head. I was so upset for a moment I could not believe I had to change my clothes since I had an interview online and fix my hair yadaydaya!! But I stopped pretty quickly and I just had to laugh! Bird poop is not the end of the world and if I had to go on right away I could have pretended it was toothpaste HA!

Never a dull moment at Zen Farm.

This week’s Goddess Power Oracle reading is all about having a sense of humor around our revelations brought into light by the symbolism of the Goddess Yhi. It’s asking us to really trust that our new beginnings are called new for a reason. New means we might not know how, or might need to learn something, might not know the steps, etc. We are brimming with potential this week, says Cerridwyn, but this is all uncharted if it’s new, so how can we expect ourselves to have all the answers, know the steps, given that new doesn’t mean familiar or “the same as before”.

Life expands and contracts in the yoke of a second. One minute there’s an unseeable vastness between life and death, and the next, it’s the length of a needle we’ve dropped and can’t seem to find. There is no one name or reason or label we can put on what we go through, though all of us, in our want to calm our fears, try to pin it down. Yet when doing all we can—holding, listening, bearing witness, and resisting the demon of “why” while leaning into the angel of “how”—there’s so much wisdom in the depths of our rawness. In being so present and engaged, we are forever shaped and carved as we shape and carve. This only makes us a more finely wrought instrument. So you are not blind and thickheaded, no matter how powerless you might feel. Quite the opposite: you are a clear jewel being burnished until all of life is reflected through your deeply exposed heart.

Len contacted me for Inner Bonding facilitation while he was going through a divorce. He had discovered Inner Bonding through a Google search and realized that what he was struggling with was self-abandonment.

Len was diligent in having sessions with me and in reading everything he could about Inner Bonding. Within a couple of months, he could spout Inner Bonding with the best of them, and had even started to help various friends and relatives with Inner Bonding. He was keenly aware of the taker role his wife had adopted in their marriage, and completely understood the caretaking role and level of self-abandonment that had been his end of their codependent system.

But Nothing Changed…

However, nothing was actually changing is his relationships with others – because all this information was in his mind, but not in his experience. He was not actually practicing Inner Bonding. He believed that if he understood it, then somehow something would change.

This calendar week has always been special to me and to my family. The Easter holiday was always the herald of a new beginning and that something sacred and beautiful was shared in my home. It was a time for peace, reconciliation, and one where everything felt like we were all getting a second chance. I don’t have one bad memory of this time of year (unlike Christmas, which took me years to heal my inner Scrooge and fear of holiday crazy).

And, to top it off, I was raised to celebrate 2 Easters in a row! These were the western Christian holiday, as we were raised as Anglicans, and then another one the next weekend as my Dad celebrated the Serbian Orthodox traditions, which followed a different calendar.

And, although these are supposed to be religious holidays, we were also all painting eggs and hunting for chocolate from the Easter Bunny!!

So this year Easter came late since it is always held the Sunday after the full moon that followed the March equinox. And since the full moon happened literally right after the equinox- here we are!

When you take the popular phrase “Follow your bliss” and trace it back to its source, something more powerful was intended. In a late interview the famous expert on mythology Joseph Campbell first used the phrase, saying “If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you.”

This implication that bliss is a personal path, and that the path is pre-determined, is much more than “do what you really like to do,” which is how most people interpret “Follow your bliss.” Let me expand on this point by showing that “bliss” is much more fundamental than almost anyone realizes. It holds the key to transforming the mind.

 “If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you.”

Doing what you really like to do is certainly a good idea; it is much better than the opposite, doing what you have to do even if you don’t particularly like it. But no one can engage in pleasurable activity all the time. The human mind brings us experiences of pleasure and pain, and since the two are paired as inescapable opposites, mental tension and conflict are inevitable no matter how positive and pleasant you try to make your life be. (For deeper background, please see my most recent post, “Can You Make Your Mind Your Friend?”)

In every life, reminders arrive about what's really key.

What matters most to you?

The Practice:
Remember the important things.

Why?

In every life, reminders arrive about what's really important.

I’ve received some myself, as I’m sure you have, too. Perhaps it was news of a potentially serious health problem, the death of a loved one, or an accident that could have turned fatal. These are uncomfortably concrete messages that sooner or later something will catch up with each one of us.

When I’m pierced with one of these reminders, it’s like there are three layers in my mind. The top layer is focused on problem-solving. Beneath that is what seems like a furry little animal that’s upset and wants to curl up and be hugged. The bottom layer feels accepting, peaceful, and grateful.

I start each day by opening the blinds and making coffee for my wife. This way, I enter the day by letting in light and doing something for someone I love. From there, come what may, I’m centered in the strength of light and care. Then I feed our dog and go to work, which for me is re-entering my conversation with life. Like an astronomer who spends his days looking into the galaxy, tracing the movement of stars and planets, I look into the inner galaxy, tracing and mapping what I can.

By midmorning, I take Zuzu, our yellow Lab, for a walk. It’s there that the trees and birds begin to speak. Or rather, I begin to listen, as they’ve been sharing their secrets constantly. Most mornings, I see birds tending and feeding their young, flying to and fro with twigs, or pecking at the ground for seed. They’re always building and mending their makeshift nests. Much like us, going to and fro to gas up the car, and pay the bills, and get the tools we need to patch the roof. Endless tasks that keep us a part of life.

Spring time shifts how the sunlight enters our house.  I returned home midmorning, planning on writing my blog.  As I looked for the perfect patch of light, I wondered what I would write about.  It is almost always a mystery until the words find a way to each other and form a story.  Our small kitchen table was perfect for discovering the unknown   I brought my lap top, calendar, and phone.  My office was complete.  Just the dogs and I were home.   Everything was perfect until I knocked over my mug of coffee and coconut milk all over my lap top key board.  It was totally soaked.