Often, people think that as a life coach or teacher of personal growth and transformation, I know how to "do life" better than others and can somehow fly above life's ups and downs. Although I, like many life coaches, do have a big toolbox full of techniques, practices, and knowledge to support me in traversing life's challenges, I have found that in certain emotionally charged situations, all that I know is definitely not the cure-all for all that I feel. 


The past few months, I have been dealing with a situation which I thought I should be able to process, deal with, work out, fix, find peace with, and move on. I have read about it, sought help from professionals, healers, and teachers, and looked at my core wounds, projections, and automatic self-sabotaging behaviors. On a cognitive level, I understand what is being triggered and how I should handle it. But the truth is, there is an ache inside of me that just won't go away. (Now let me pause and say that since I am a big believer on calling myself on my own BS, it is very true that on some level I might be getting something from holding on to my pain. However, that is another newsletter and teaching.) 


This past week, another incident occurred in this ongoing situation which triggered another palpable response inside of me. I knew that I had to dig deeper in my attempt to heal and grow. I had to find other resources. I just had no idea who or what to turn to. I was so caught up in my own drama, I did not realize that the answer to my search was sitting on my nightstand. 

Although she passed away five years ago, my sister, the beloved spiritual teacher Debbie Ford, has left a powerful legacy with her new book, YOUR HOLINESS.

Through world-renowned medium, James Van Praagh, I received a clear message that she wanted to share with the world a life-changing prayer book. I had no idea that she had written such a book, but once James shared the messages, a quick search unearthed this beautiful, enlightening, and inspiring work.

What you may not know about Debbie and WHY she wrote this book:

Decades ago, Debbie was a drug addict.

At a certain point she knew that if she didn’t get help, she was going to die.

On the tenth day of her 4th rehab center, she was getting ready to run away in search of drugs. Instead, she went into a bathroom, with a very dirty floor, she got on her hands and knees and prayed, and God responded and gave her the strength to get sober.

So much of our personal suffering is self-imposed. We struggle against the way life is unfolding, trying to force certain outcomes. When we fail, we are miserable. Our minds replay our supposed failures over and over again, triggering memories of past “failures” so that finally we are drowning in an avalanche of suffering. We see ourselves as victims, barely able to carry on beneath the burden of unfulfilled dreams, of life’s unfairness. The promise of abundant possibilities and self-fulfillment seems to elude us again and again. What if we are only living out our mind’s perception of life—a self-constructed illusion that keeps us trapped in struggle and unhappiness? Our personality self, or ego, which is connected to the mind, engages in the world at the level of effort and trying. Our souls exist in connection to a Higher Self, or God. When we completely surrender to something greater than our own individual personality selves, we let go of suffering as a way of life. 

Prayer, when cultivated consciously, energizes and guides us on the spiritual path. This talk investigates the difference between wanting, with its narrow fixation, and the prayer that arises out of our deep heart’s longing. We explore how living prayer, the prayer that arises from consciously inhabiting longing, can carry us home to loving presence. As John O’Donahue writes, prayer is the bridge between longing and belonging. ~ (a favorite talk from 2010).

Every week here at The Sunday Paper, we focus on Moving Humanity Forward. That’s our tagline, but more importantly, it’s our mission and our purpose.

Although not always highlighted in the West, prayer and devotion are a living stream in Buddhism. The earnest wishes expressed in the practices of lovingkindness and compassion—May I be happy, May You be free from suffering—are forms of prayer. The aspiration to find refuge in the Buddha (or Buddha “awakened” nature) is an expression of devotion to truth and freedom.