“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” — T.S. Eliot 

On the first day of 2019, I sat down and meditated on how blessed I am to get this chance at a new year of life.

I focused on my intention to embrace the year ahead as one big magical adventure. My mind raced at times while thinking about this challenge to myself, but as I slowed down and focused my breathing, I found myself feeling calm and hopeful about what’s ahead.

If I have one big goal for this year, it’s to approach all of my professional and personal decisions from a place of adventure in 2019. Or, as one of my favorite poets the late John O’Donahue writes, I want to “awaken my spirit to adventure” this year. (You can read his poem in the “Sunday Reflection” section below.)

This year, I want to venture out, venture forward and venture into the unknown. I want to make decisions by asking myself, “Am I going to see and/or experience something new by doing this? Will it scare me or push me outside my comfort zone? Will I be able to look back and feel like I learned something or grew in some way? Will it be fun, meaningful and worthwhile?”

If my answer to these questions is “yes,” then I’ll know I’m making the right choice.

In 2019, I want to push myself to try things I might have said “no” to in the past. I want to challenge myself to keep an open mind about new opportunities. I  want to stop looking at the items on my calendar as things I have to do, and instead, view them as experiences that I get to embark upon. And, I want to keep track of it all along the way.

That’s why I’m excited about “I’ve Been Thinking… The Journal,” which came out last week. This journal is a place for me (and for all of you as well) to write down what I’m thinking and experiencing throughout the coming year. It will also be a place for me to document how I’m feeling, what I’m excited about, what I’m scared of, and what I’m hopeful about.

We’re at the beginning of the year and if you’re anything like me you’ve got your intentions all set and raring to go! But, sometimes the “new year new you” vibe can create too many expectations that can weigh heavily on you especially if you haven’t put closure on last year!

Imagine that you stepped into the new year still dragging along a big bag of invisible stuff you don’t actually want, nor is even vaguely good for you Yet here you are trying to jump up and down with glee about all things new however your jump up is so lame and everything feels so slow and heavy? It’s like you’ve taken a detour in your mind and you find yourself all wrapped up about a future outcome that can’t make lift off! This can leave you feeling like you are fending off negativity at every turn. Or maybe your mind has run willy-nilly to a past hurt as if it just happened? Or, perhaps you are wandering in the potentials that seem so far away from where you are now, that you get confused as to how anything could happen to move you forward? It’s a big ol’ New year Hairball!

In recent decades the concept of living in the present moment has been widely discussed, prompted by the surprising success of Eckhart Tolle’s 1997 book, The Power of Now. For millions of readers Tolle’s basic thesis, that there is something special about the here and now, came as a spiritual message they could seize upon in daily life.

The power that the present moment possesses, as many people now believe, is its reality. To be in the now means that you are not distracted by memories of the past or expectations about the future. You dwell instead on whatever is right in front of you, applying mental clarity, alertness, and your full attention. Simple enough—until one looks deeper. Young children live in the now. Are they better off for it, considering the years of maturation that lie ahead to bring about full-fledged adulthood? The elderly suffering from dementia typically have severe memory loss, forcing them to live only in the passing moment, and this condition becomes confusing and blank, not to mention a source of distress.

As you set your new year goals for 2019, it’s a good idea to take stock of the progress you’ve made toward your goals this year. For many people, this review is unpleasant and can even lead to a downward spiral.

If you didn’t achieve all of the goals you set at the beginning of the year, you may feel like you have failed. Our self-esteem can take a hit, we can become disheartened and discouraged, and our motivation drops. Some people actually become depressed.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to reframe how you look at success. Zeroing in on accomplishments that didn’t happen puts your focus on what you lack, rather than on what you have (the things you did experience and accomplish). This subtle mental trap leads to a host of negative consequences, which usually leads to attracting more lack.

Sometimes when things don’t work out the way you planned, it’s a blessing in disguise, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

We often have an idea of what we want and what we think will be best for us. We often want what we want when we want it.

It can be frustrating when things don’t go according to plan or you aren’t where you want to be in life. Especially when you try everything in your power to make it happen.

Your mind may want certain things in life, but sometimes your soul actually longs for something different, deeper and more aligned.

Just because you want a certain outcome doesn’t mean it’s actually the best thing for your soul’s growth and evolution. Your soul has an intelligence beyond the mind.

You incarnated into this human experience in order to learn lessons, to grow and evolve. There may be experiences that you need to go through in order to grow, so that you can become the highest version of yourself.

You may not be able to see it in the very moment, but if you are willing to trust, life will show you the reason why things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to.

Recently, my initial excitement and the newness of moving to Florida began to ebb somewhat, and day-to-day life took on an unexpected, almost bipolar energy. I found myself ricocheting back and forth between two rather extreme reactions: joy, optimism, positivity, appreciation, gratitude, love, inspiration on the one hand and sadness, fear, heaviness, pessimism, lack of motivation on the other. This could occur within the space of one day or even one hour, seemingly unrelated to what was happening around me. At times I was thrilled with my new home and surroundings, and then at other times I felt trapped, out of place, and uncomfortable. It took me fully another month to realize that I was experiencing what it is like to bridge two worlds: old paradigm and new dimension.

“The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection and the water has no mind to receive their image.”

That was the first message I got from the first fortune cookie I opened when I returned from India. That seems like a fitting contract for these writings, and perhaps the full implications of that contract will become clear as we continue.

What I’d like to do is to present a model to you, and the specific model is my own life experience. That’s really all I have to offer to you – of my own experiences. I would like to clarify the reason for doing this.  It is not my expectation, or my hope, that any of you necessarily would undergo the particular journey that I am pursuing. I am not proselytizing for Ashtanga yoga.

But we in the West are faced with a very interesting predicament through a variety of circumstances, some of which are built into the culture like changes in communication media and so on. Some of them are the result of the chemicals that have appeared and been widely used – psychedelics.

We live in a society where life follows a certain pattern that has us chasing after success defined by fame and fortune and all the “perks” that come with it. We are made to believe that this is the key to happiness and feeling fulfilled. But if that is really the case, why are there so many successful people who are still unhappy, get depressed, or worse, end up taking their own lives? Doesn’t this make you wonder, “Is that really the kind of life that we’re meant to live?”

My whole life, I tried very hard to follow the template that society made for many of us—get a degree, get a job, build a career, get married, start a family. I tried to stay on the mainstream—color within the lines—but “failed” in some cases. These “failures” are the areas in my life that get the sometimes-quizzical- sometimes-pitying-but-most-of-the-time-judgmental look from others.

I sat in a taxi once where the driver spent the whole ride lecturing me when my reply to his question, “Do you have kids?” was “No.” For almost an hour, he made it clear to me why deciding not to have kids is wrong. “You have to have kids. It’s the right thing to do.” The truth—which I was not about to share with this middle-aged man driving me home—is that I did choose to have a child once in my life. But life didn’t turn out the way I planned. Her father and I split up and went on our separate ways thousands of miles from each other. I made the painful decision that she will have a better life with him than me. For that, I got criticized, judged, and condemned. People threw stones at me until I was bloody and almost lifeless. And the meanest, cruelest of them all was me. And yet there I was at the back of a cab with a total stranger telling me why I should have kids. Preach.

The answer is simple:

You discover your purpose by being present in the moment. Listening to your inner guidance. Paying attention to the messages you are receiving at any given time. Being aware of the feelings in your body when certain things awaken a desire within us. And being absolutely mindful of our thoughts. If purpose is within us, and you desire to discover consciously what your purpose is, then we must understand that spirit speaks to you in present moment. You cannot hear the message from spirit when thinking about the past or thinking about the future. Spirit speaks to you in present moment. It is a now experience.

Using Automatic Writing /Journaling to Discover Your Purpose

This exercise can be done at any particular time when you are in need of clarity or guidance. Your purpose is constantly changing as you change and grow and expand. So, this exercise may be helpful at any given time along your journey of life. Automatic writing will help you to be conscious of what is calling to you at this particular time in your life so that you can live intentionally and consciously.

As I get ready to launch Oracle School this fall, I think back to this summer and the extraordinary opportunities I had to serve the groups I was invited to speak at. I taught some powerful workshops, but I also did readings and mediumship. I’m still amazed at how this has all transpired for me, given my former resistance to fully embrace spiritual mediumship as a natural progression of my service.

I remember vividly how, years ago every time I heard the Call to this particular facet of service, well I answered it, then was suitably stunned, and promptly hung up the celestial phone. “Um, No way… too many weirdos, too many haters, too much responsibility, not enough proof, too many others doing this well, such strong tradition, not for me” etc. etc. etc.
Call back later I’ve made other plans.

Have you ever run away from the one thing that lights you up and makes your heart sing for fear of what others might think, feeling unworthy perhaps or just plain not wanting the responsibility?
I fought the truth of my life for so long I exhausted myself. I always wanted to be something else. I thought I was going to do readings only until my music career took off. I was no way going to be known as a medium, or psychic! Can you believe it? I had a ginormous chip on my shoulder about this, and yet it was calling me all the time. My authentic life was always waiting for me. I had to surrender.

Time!

As human beings, we all have one thing in common.

Time.

We are all born, and we will all die.

Yet when it happens, we seem surprised and ask WHY?

From the moment the universe exploded into existence as a cosmic fireball 13.4 billions of years ago….

Time stops for no one.