It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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26 pounds, a muffin top, and true happiness…

Thirty-six years ago I was obsessed with the ambition to attain physical perfection.

I had this idea that if I could weigh a certain amount, have my measurements be an exact number, have my hair the best length and all ten of fingernails “long” at the same time, I would be perfect and with that perfectly happy.

I spent a year working out two hours a day lifting weights, running, doing sit-ups and squats. I carefully measured and tracked everything I ate, and I weighed myself daily (ok, multiple times a day).

And, then one day it happened. I got up, stood on the scale, took out my measuring tape and voila – perfection had been reached. For a few moments I was in bliss. 

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Overwhelmed and Frazzled

Do you get overwhelmed and frazzled when too much is going on? Does your system feel on overload when too much hits you at once?

This is a common experience for introverted and highly sensitive people.

The surprising thing is that this appears to be true from birth. In her book, “Quiet,” Susan Cain describes a long-term research study done by Professor Jerome Kagan at Harvard, with 500 four-month-old babies. Kagan asserted that he could tell which babies were introverts and which were extroverts, based on a forty-five-minute evaluation. The babies were subjected to stimuli such as balloons popping, colorful mobiles, tape-recorded voices, and the scent of alcohol on cotton swabs. About 20 percent of the babies were what he called “high-reactive” – waving their arms and legs and crying. About 40 percent were quiet and placid – which he called “low-reactive”, and another 40 percent were somewhere in between.

Kagan predicted that the high-reactive group would turn out to be introverts, and that the low-reactive group would be extroverts, with the other 40% going back and forth between introversion and extroversion, and this is exactly what happened. Highly sensitive introverts comprise about 20 percent of the population, which is what Elaine Aron, Ph.D., discovered in her research and wrote about in “The Highly Sensitive Person” and other books.

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Authentic Confidence: Discover the Tools to Release Fears, Self-Doubt & Cultivate an Unshakable Trust in Yourself

I was eating dinner with my husband recently, and we were talking about the extraordinary potential of the Feminine Power movement.

I was feeling deeply inspired by all of the passionate, committed women who are giving themselves to this work, and the impact we can have on the future of our world.

As we were talking about it, I was just feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all of you and I decided I wanted to share something that will help you step forward and give your gifts to the world.

It’s an hour-long training that is usually only for participants in my paid programs, but I’d like to offer it to you at no charge.

But first, I want to invite you to consider a question:

  • Are you holding yourself back rather than stepping out in boldness?
  • Do you ever hesitate when a new opportunity opens up right before your very eyes?
  • Are you out in the weeds, rather than traveling the broad highway of possibility before you?
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Give Yourself Permission to Be You

Happiness and personal empowerment are only a perceptual shift away!

The reason why so many of us suffer, is because we believe that we are part of a world conceptually created by those who have come before us.

We were taught from pretty early on that we needed to fit in, or adhere to various societal standards. Everything from the way we spoke to our physical appearance needed to be a certain way to be considered ‘good’.

While there is a common thread of likeness with every human being on the planet, you are the only you there has ever been, or will ever be. You're supposed to be the way you are, and you are more than good enough. You are not going to fit into someone else's mold, and you were never meant to.

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Hope for the Frustrated, Ambitious and Impatient

As a lawyer turned writer, then as a creative turned business owner, not to mention as a plain old human being, I have often felt helpless. Flustered. And full of self-hatred and shame. I often assume, no, I know, that everyone else knows how to do everything just right-- and frankly this makes me sick.

But I am moving past “helplessness” and it’s like seeing the sun rise for the first time.

I want to take you with me. If you have ever felt inept as though you can’t run a business, write a screenplay, find a lover or an answer, or roll up your yoga mat evenly which, personally I think is a covert form of hell, I want to tell you a story about going past imaginary limits. It’s a story of self-forgiveness. It’s a story of hitting your full potential. Actually, it’s a story of folding a goddamn blanket. But it’s really a story of unfoldment, of how to teach yourself to do anything in this world you want or need to do.

I’d been visiting a friend who is a famous author and speaker and staying in her charming guest house in San Francisco. “What do you want me to do with the bedding?” I ask her, as I’m leaving early the next morning and won’t see her. “Oh, fold the blankets back up and leave it at the foot of the bed with the others,” she says casually. I try not to twitch or gasp. I was hoping she would say “Just leave it in a reckless heap like you leave everything. I’ll take care of it. I’ll be the good mommy.” But no such luck. I am on my own here. With bedding issues.

In the morning, I pack up and the only thing I need to do is face the dreaded task of “folding the blanket.” I stare at the crumpled outrage. Obviously, I was fighting Godzilla in my sleep. Then I study the other white blankets at the foot of the bed, deriding me, white cotton folded with German engineering, resting like smug doves.

My stomach clenches. I am going to screw this up. I am a screw up. I am going to create a lumpy, ugly, bulging inept pile that announces either raw disregard or reprehensible incompetence. I think about writing a note apologizing. I feel like an idiot. Folding things neatly. I missed that class in kindergarten. I was probably having a cigarette or a Jujube.

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The Gift of Uncertain Times

This is the gift of uncertain times: It’s a strength to be undoing that which no longer works for you, yes, even when you think it does. Undoing is progress, not mayhem.

The artist Pablo Picasso wrote, "Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction." And the philosopher Nietzsche said, "You must become a chaos before giving birth to a shining star." These are not poetic elaborations. They are descriptions of how a metamorphosis works. First, things fall apart before they fall together.

A mother doesn’t have to understand or even trust the birth process to give birth. Your next expression wants to be born. Great and mighty forces marshal their strength around you. It’s your time. You’re uncovering a new way to breathe and feel safe in the world, even though you can’t imagine it. Change may wear a wolf suit. Still, don’t be fooled. It’s wild, abundant magic come knocking on your door.

It’s okay to feel as though you don’t know what’s going on. You don’t. You can't supervise creativity, alchemy, reinvention, evolution and the divine flower rearrangement of your life. Yet if you trusted the Energy behind this miracle of change, you wouldn't want to control a thing. You'd throw everything you had into the blender and watch it yield a grace beyond all reason.

Here's the work. It's not about staying in control. It's about staying in love.

I know this isn't easy to do. But you can take the fun bus or the misery bus, because either way you’re going for a ride. If you want to thrive, this is your practice:

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And The Answer Is . . .

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."  -Unknown

I've Been Thinking...


One of my favorite quotes speaks to the importance of being kind to everyone, since everyone is fighting some kind of battle whether we know it or not.


I thought a lot about that this week because it felt like every conversation I had with others was about some personal struggle. One of my oldest and closest friends quietly told me that she finally called her doctor and asked for medication to help manage her depression, anxiety, and insomnia, which have gotten the best of her during this lockdown. Another friend told me that he was relieved to finally attend a small in-person AA meeting. In that gathering, he said several people spoke about the increased rate of suicide during lockdown and how challenging it’s been for all of them to stay sober during this isolating time.


Another friend spoke to me this week about the exact same thing and asked me why the media isn’t covering the devastating mental health toll of Covid-19. The impact of unemployment. The loss of health care. The rise in suicide, depression, anxiety, and loneliness. The loss of human connection.


“Maria these are Covid collateral stories,” my friend said to me. “You must shine a light on all of this.”

“Agreed,” I said.


So, here are some stats I want to shine a light on: A new study from Everytown for Gun Safety finds that the economic downturn caused by Covid-19 could cause about 20 more lives lost per day by suicide, this year alone. According to Census Bureau data, a third of Americans are feeling severe anxiety right now and a quarter of Americans are showing signs of depression. And a recent poll by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that the pandemic has negatively affected the mental health of 56% of adults. Think about those sobering statistics.

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Spark Your Inner-Child Joy

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." -Pablo Picasso

I've Been Thinking...

The news is exhausting, isn't it? We are inundated with information that's often confusing and conflicting. We are inundated with "breaking" news, stories of surges and spikes, overcrowded hospitals and looming threats of another potential lockdown. It's a lot.
 

That's why I've taken to removing myself from the chaos, as best I can. I’m doing it for my own mental health. These days, I read some news in the morning, and then again at the end of the day. But never before bed. I’ve reserved that time for Kevin Costner and his hit TV show "Yellowstone!"

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The 4 Keys For Asking What You Want

“Create a way where you can be a true contribution in the lives of the people that you are asking from.”

The Universe is giving to you in every moment. Air is giving you life. Nature is giving you beauty. The sun is giving you light and warmth. So be bold and dare to ask for what you want, rather than silently suffering, thinking those around you should be psychic and know what you need. In this episode, I’ll share about the power of asking for what you want and the amazing gift in how to receive it.

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How to Transition Your Emotional Triggers

While still very much an extrovert, I’m an observer by nature, and recently I have been watching the emotional triggers I see happening around me. I get that not one ounce of what’s happening right now is fun or funny, but here’s what’s important: we have to start moving into a place of empowerment despite the circumstances.

We can do this by continuing to dig in and find what is healing and nurturing to ourselves. Understanding your emotional triggers are hugely important if you want to live a life of alignment and real wealth.

Understanding Emotional Triggers

I wrote my first book, The Emotion Behind Money, because I was noticing that the things happening around money really had nothing to do with money itself. It had way more to do with the emotions behind our money. This massive discovery became part of my message, ultimately leading me down this rabbit hole now 15 years later where I have really started to pay attention to the emotional side of money… and people’s emotional triggers.

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Feeling LONELY and feeling ALONE

Feeling LONELY and feeling ALONE.

Any of you felt either of those?

The conversation that I wanted to have today is around the difference between being alone and being lonely.

Being alone means that you are solitary. You are by yourself. You are isolated, you are in a solitary space. There are no people around you. 

Being lonely is a feeling of sadness or abandonment or disconnectedness.

Sometimes people use a word that does not really fit what they are trying to describe.

Alone is being by yourself.

Lonely is a feeling that you have.

You can be lonely and be at a big party. You can feel lonely when you are with somebody that you love. My point is that loneliness is the feeling and being alone is the physical-ness of being solitary.

However, you are never actually alone.

We all have angels and we all have guides that are always with us. So, we are never actually alone.

So, if you are struggling with loneliness, that is something that is a feeling versus when you are feeling alone.

And I just want to make sure you understand that distinction.

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Now more than ever, Be A Pleasure Puppy

I don’t know about you but lately it seems that everyone I know is totally stressed out – not just from their own lives but from the “frequency in the field.”

From the racial tensions and the horrific killing of African American men, women and children, to Covid-19 and the global pandemic, along with the economy and money worries, most of us are stressed to the max.

Even if you are safe, and your life is peachy right now, chances are you are picking up on the energies of those around you.

It’s almost unavoidable.

This is why I am such a big advocate for all of us to become daily “pleasure puppies” and find ways each day to consciously choose to reduce our stress levels and add more pleasure.

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Your Best Friend

Today I thought we would talk about how to listen to your body and how to pay attention to what your body is saying. Or maybe the other side of that is … how to know that your body is saying something because you are not paying attention.

Have you had experiences where you know your body is trying to get a point across … and maybe you’re not listening very well, or maybe it just keeps getting just a little bit worse and a little bit worse and a little bit worse?

30 years ago, I read a book that kind of turned my mind around on the separateness between our bodies and our spirits. It was called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.  She talked about how all these different physical manifestations meant something on an emotional level … and that you could discover what the emotional level was … and if you worked through those things, then the physical manifestations would be released out of the body.

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Know You’re a Good Person

Who are you, deep down?

The Practice:
Know you’re a good person.

Why?

For many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that “I am a good person.” We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically – but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah!

We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once knew a little girl who’d been displaced by her baby brother and fended off and scolded by her mother who was worn down and busy caring for an infant. This girl was angry at her brother and parents, plus lost and disheartened and feeling cast out and unloved. She’d been watching cartoons in which the soldiers of an evil queen attacked innocent villagers, and one day she said sadly, “Mommy, I feel like a bad soldier.”

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Your Are Enough – The Shift

“When you can meet yourself without expectation and just relax into who you are here and now, others are freed to do the same thing.”

When was the last time you got lost in a good book? Or baked an apple pie “for no reason” and then savored each hot sweet bite? Or spent time in nature … Or sat down at the piano … Or played racquetball … Or consciously did whatever it is that makes you feel a sense of connection and pleasure?

In all likelihood, you were not conditioned to make your well-­being a priority, to extend love and respect to yourself. You may have learned to give all your love and kindness to others, making their happiness the barometer of how worthy you were of that same love and kindness.

Love is not about having, needing, controlling, achieving, or getting something. It is about the direct experience of the Essential Self. When you access that internal reservoir, it can extend outward to others with simplicity, compassion, and warmth.

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Keep Your Eye on the Ball

Once there was only one ball, and it hypnotized us. It seemed to cause our joy and pain and our pleasure and misery. It seemed to cause everything, and everything depended upon it. That ball was the world.

Now another ball has appeared, and it has become the new star of the show. The show is human evolution. This new ball is our interior experiences. Previously we did not pay attention to them until they became too painful to ignore, for example, our rage, jealousy, or grief. We never thought about them in the context of our evolution. On the contrary, they hindered our ability to evolve – to manipulate and control ball one (the world). Now ball two (our interior experiences) is more important to our evolution than ball one!

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What can YOU do?

In these challenging, expanding, painful and hopeful times, what can YOU do?


If you are feeling the fear, the sadness, the pain, not knowing what to do, how to show up, what to say or not say … I hear you.

When I went within and asked Spirit to guide me … when I asked Love what it would say, this is what I received.  This is my message to me … and I thought it might be of service to you too.

Ask yourself this question:  “What Would LOVE Say/Do?”

  1. Be the Change you wish to see – no excuses. Embody it! Whatever that change is, be it.
  2. Look within your own thoughts, mind, and heart. Observe your judgments, fears, and anger. Dig into why and where they came from and do what YOU need to do to release and heal them. Get educated, own your errors, step up and help.
  3. Create Connection, Unity and Oneness. Separation and division are the absence of connection. We as Human Beings are all connected. We are one and we need to stand together and BE ONE! What hurts another, hurts the whole.
  4. Focus on the actions as despicable, unacceptable, and deplorable; not the person. We each must consider our own past behaviors and know that they don’t define who we are today. This is the same for everyone else. Give some grace and know that we, as a human race, can do better.
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Tending to the ‘Inner Garden’

When we moved to our home in Colorado 13 years ago, my wife Stephanie and I decided to plant a vegetable garden.


This season we’re growing arugula, cucumbers, peas, radishes, tomatoes, and mint.

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Do You Feel Seen and Valued?

Earlier in my life I didn’t feel seen by others. Since I never felt seen by my parents, I figured this was just the way it was in life. While sometimes I felt sad or angry at not being seen, I mostly just accepted it.

However, once I started to practice Inner Bonding and connect with my spiritual guidance, I gradually learned to see and value myself—my true essence. Over the years of practicing Inner Bonding, I grew less and less tolerant of not being seen by others.

 

I questioned this with my guidance…

“Why, since I now see myself so clearly, it is it still important to me to be seen by others? I thought that if I saw myself, I wouldn’t need to be seen by others.”

Here is her answer to me:

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Have you found the missing Peace?

Anxiety...uncertainty... unease

When you experience these emotions, you are not in the high frequency state of peace.

Those feelings are indicators that you have unconscious programs – beliefs, ideas and stories – that need to be corrected.

Is there some aspect of your life that you’re not at peace with?


Have you ever wondered what’s preventing you from living in the high frequency of peace?

The core low frequency blocker to peace is unforgiveness. 

Until you activate your soul’s superpower of forgiveness you have set yourself up for anxiety and a whole range of diseases and physical and mental challenges. A Harvard study showed that holding a grudge can kill you.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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