How To Overcome Fear with the Miracle of Love

Most of us are grappling with only one main issue, that is, how to stay happy. Being calm, focused and joyous, in a world which is constantly drawing us, into its chaos, is definitely a well performed feat. How to keep our mood stable, and our lives in a state of balance, is something we need to work at, constantly. Keeping our wits about us, and our brains and bodies in a state of balance, is an art we need to master. This inevitably doesn't happen on its own, we need to make it happen.

Living a life, which is aware and at a level of consciousness which is constantly evolving, is our prime duty towards our own selves. It is only by living in a state of awareness that we are conscious of our day to day stresses and we have the ability to combat them.

Stress builds up within us because we allow fear to step into the realm of our existence. With no fear, imagine the possibilities. I feel it is only the fear within us that hinders us from stepping into progress.
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It’s Time to Fire Your Inner Critic

We’ve all got that incessant voice in our heads that speaks up when we do things like try on new clothes, make a mistake, experience a perceived failure, or consider branching out of our comfort zone to try something different. And this internal diatribe occurring inside us tends not to be in the nicest of tones, am I right? This voice is our inner critic.

Often, the voice mimics our internalized version of criticism from a primary caregiver in early childhood. It tries to keep us safe – urging us to avoid pain and disappointment – but not in the best of ways.

If you’re ready to send your inner critic into early retirement, grab a writing utensil and a journal and follow these six steps. (You can certainly do this activity on a mobile device or computer if you prefer, but I find that there’s so much more power and connection in writing important things out by hand!)

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Do I Have To Be Healed To Attract My Beloved?

One of my clients asked me the following question: “Can I attract my beloved if I’m still in the process of healing my inner pain?”

The simple answer is “Yes,” but the actual answer is more complex.

 

Healing is a Process

Healing is an ongoing process of learning to be less judgmental and more compassionate with yourself. Healing pain isn’t just about the past – It’s primarily about how you are currently treating yourself. For example:

  • You judge yourself as not good enough and you feel pain. While you might have learned to do this as a child from others who judged or rejected you, the fact that you are still doing it as an adult means that you are rejecting yourself and re-creating your pain. Your pain will not heal as long as you are rejecting yourself.
  • You avoid your feelings by numbing them with various addictions, or you avoid them by staying focused in your mind and ignoring what is happening inside where your feelings are. This creates a feeling of inner rejection and abandonment, as well as emptiness and neediness. Again, you are re-creating the old pain of not being loved as you were growing up.
  • You tend to make others responsible for your safety and self-worth. They have to approve of you in order for you to feel that you are okay. Your feeling self – your inner child – feels abandoned by you when you give him or her away to others for approval.

As long as you continue to reject and abandon yourself, you will meet partners at your common level of self-abandonment – partners who are also rejecting and abandoning themselves.

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3 Keys To Activating The Flow of Money and Abundance

Abundance is not about what you have, it’s about how you feel about what you have.

… And how you feel about who you are.

You see it’s not about what you have or not, but your relationship with ALL of it.

Just because you have a lot of money doesn’t make you abundant.

Money is material. It comes and goes.

Real abundance includes but is also beyond the material, it is a state of consciousness.

Abundance is your Being.

The more you access who you really are, the more you experience the abundance of your BEING.

Your being is one with everything and the source of life. Connect to that which you are, and you tap into an inexhaustible stream of energy beyond yourself. There is no lack there.

There is no scarcity in the INFINITE.

You can have the world but if you don’t have you, the REAL YOU, you are poor.

If you have millions of dollars but you live gripped in fear of losing it, you are poor.

If you accumulate masses of wealth but are too afraid to share it, you are poor.

If you are so attached to the things you own that they in turn own you, and you live in fear, you are poor.

If you have everything but don’t appreciate and enjoy what you have, and life’s simple miracles, you are poor.

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Move Your Body - Move Your Soul

You never know when inspiration is going to come knocking at your door.

My colleague and fellow Hay House author Sonia Choquette is one of the most inspiring and motivational speakers I have ever witnessed. I’ve seen her lecture to packed auditoriums all over the world. Her principle is: Move your body – to move your soul. Even the most inhibited people who would never dare to stand up with everyone else and dance, are encouraged to get to their feet, move their hips, and shake every inch of their body!

It’s amazing to watch Sonia call upon a sad soul who has low self-esteem, someone who’s riddled by the fear of being noticed, and how she intuitively tunes in to their positive traits. She exudes a positive belief, and manages to bring them to the front of the stage and then gets them to sing, dance, or even yell at the top of their lungs. People walk away with their soul literally vibrating. If we could all just feel that way, I believe we could change the world.

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Surrendering To The Light Of Conscious Awareness

Self love can be a tricky thing. All too often, we confuse self preservation with love. We feel that we love ourselves because we make the effort to exercise, eat right, and get enough sleep. While these things are certainly necessary to physical well-being, they can become unreliable substitutes for an honest and deeply based sense of love and caring for oneself. So, if you find yourself looking to others for love and approval, here are three steps that you can take to increase your level of self love. Remember, while you may be loved by others, the primary source of all the love in your life begins with you.

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3 Keys To Emotional Independence

Happy Independence Day - the day we celebrate our “unalienable rights” to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and freedom! Now of course there are many ways to achieve living life to the fullest, feeling liberated, and attaining happiness, but I can promise you that if you truly want to let freedom ring, then you must foster emotional independence.   Emotional independence is being able to stand in your power, and to make choices based on what is in your highest versus as a reaction to external circumstances. And the crazy thing is, that even though “unalienable rights” are defined as those that cannot be surrendered, transferred, given away to, or revoked by another, the fact is that most of us give away our power when it comes to emotional independence and let outside sources rob of us our joy, equilibrium, internal knowing, and sense of self.

So, if your day, mood, or reactions are being controlled by: 

  • the way your butt and thighs look in your jeans,
  • whether a person you are dating asks you out for Saturday night or texts you the day after you slept together,
  • a disagreement you’ve had with a family member,
  • someone else’s opinion of you, or
  • your desire to numb out and avoid dealing with certain situations,

then chances are you need some support in fostering emotional independence.




Here are 3 tips to aid you on your path to true freedom.

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Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

Gray hair getting you down?

Here’s some science based good news!

Whether you are dating or partnered, according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive. (“Mature” is code for gray hair in this instance.)

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had.

The study found that “healthy” hair is more important than hair color unless you have an unnatural color in your hair, in which case it works against you.

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7 Ways To Overcome Feeling Insecure In A Relationship and Be Free

“Your relationship with yourself is the real foundation for your relationship with others.”

The partner you attract in a relationship is a mirror manifestation of yourself. When you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you look to your partner to give you a sense of validation. This leads to feelings of insecurity and suffering. Listen to this episode to learn 7 simple, yet powerful keys to improve your relationship with yourself and overcome feelings of insecurity.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How often do you really connect with who you are?
  • Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship?
  • Do you like the partners you are attracting into your sphere?
  • How do you deal with the fear of losing your identity in your relationship?
  • How often do you look in the mirror? Do you like what you see?
  • Have you noticed the voice in your head that criticizes you?
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Set Yourself Free with Love and Forgiveness

The overall theme that the cards reveal this week in the Weekly Oracle Card Guidance and Lesson is forgiveness. Who or what do you need to forgive?

I know forgiveness may seem like one of those intangible ideals that’s just out of reach or a waste of time. But, it’s not. You can make the choice to forgive. And by taking that decision, you not only move forward on your path, but you also open the door to Spirit’s messages.

Resentment, anger, shame, and regret all keep you focused on the past and block you from accessing the realm of connection. In addition to robbing you of the present, lack of forgiveness feeds your ego mind, your Goblin, and keeps you in a “Me Bubble.” Forgiveness is one of the greatest keys to strengthening your intuition and making positive changes in your life.

I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for forgiveness. After years of abusive relationships, drinking, and trying to numb my pain, I had a spiritual epiphany in which I realized that I had to forgive if I wanted to move forward. Through giving up the need to be hurt and to hate, I’ve been able to finally have the amazing, healthy relationship I’d always wanted. 

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New Questions That Lead to Self-Wholeness

Our stressful, pain-filled experiences are not caused by people or events but by our reactions to them. And yet, if we will honestly examine the way we presently question our defeats, here’s what we see: we are still desperately seeking answers that serve only to correct the surface or exterior conditions. We are still blaming circumstances for crushing us. The direction of our questions proves that we are still thinking incorrectly about our problems.

This is supremely important to grasp if we wish to change our inner and outer world. By their very nature, our old questions tend to make and then keep us victims. They imply that someone or something outside of ourselves is punishing us. No human being is a victim of any punishment outside of their own undeveloped life-level from which their inner reactions are seen as outer attacks. This is why we must learn to turn our questions into tools for developing self-wholeness instead of letting them lead us off in the wrong direction.

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Getting Off the Karmic Cartwheel and Back Into Love...

Yes, there is such a thing as being stuck in a karmic pattern that no longer serves you.

These patterns are the result of unconscious programs that trigger false beliefs and perpetuate stories that age, weaken and diminish life…

and, blocks your ability to know the truth.  

You are a perfect divine being whose essence is LOVE!

Having worked with thousands of people worldwide, we’ve discovered universal thought processes running through humanity.

“I don't deserve love!” “No one will ever love me!” “Love is dangerous”

These programs have been locked in your DNA and effect the way your genes express. In other words, your thoughts control your energetic frequency and that frequency either repels love or is a magnet to love.

You might not think this is relevant to you, however, the sneaky unconscious mind stores past events, emotions and decisions that surface as negative life patterns.

How do you know if you are on this karmic merry go round blocking love? 

Look at how much love you’ve allowed into your life. That will tell you whether or not you are free to love yourself, your family, friends, your beloved and God.

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5 Ways To Heal Your Heart

The relationships we have with others – romantic or platonic – are one of the most sacred aspects of our being. In these close, intimate spaces, we are allowed to become a part of someone else’s life, offering them love and affection, advice and caring, nurturing and a listening ear.

But there are times when these relationships dissolve – for myriad reasons – and the heartache that results can be one of the most painful things to endure. Heartache can turn us into people we’d rather not be. To avoid this, I offer you these 5 ways to heal your heart, and return to love.

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4 Ways To Deal With Regret and Eliminate It

Regret is a killer.

It robs you of your peace in the moment and limits your ability to create a fresh future.

Regret is that feeling when you look back from your future and wish you had done it differently.

We have all done things that we felt bad about and judged ourselves for from the past.

Whether it was:

Bad relationship choices.

The way you handled a break up.

Unwise financial decisions.

What are you still judging yourself for?

What regrets do you still have?

Maybe you have been holding yourself hostage, thinking you are a bad person or that God is judging you?

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Love Yourself Most

My amazing friend, Sheri Salata, is a deep, loving, soulful woman who had the career of her dreams for 21 years including titles as Executive Producer of the Oprah Show and co-CEO of OWN network. When she decided to move on and “produce” her own life she was one hundred pounds overweight, no man in site, and nearly 57 years old. Today her book, The Beautiful No, arrives in stores, and I’ve invited her to be a guest blogger on the topic of

What I Know About Love.

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Do You Judge Your Feelings? Here is What to Do Instead

Judgments can block the vital information your feelings offer you, preventing the release of stress or pain that expression of some feelings provides.

Did you grow up being taught that feeling and expressing your feelings is wrong or bad – especially your painful feelings?

I often have the experience with my clients of hearing them apologize when they start to cry. “I’m so sorry that I’m getting emotional,” they often say to me.

“It’s okay to cry,” I tell them. “Crying is a natural way of expressing feelings and releasing pain.” When they are trying to be very quiet about it, I often say, “It’s okay to cry out loud and allow yourself to make noise.”

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4 Ways To Be Good To Yourself

Self-care and self-love are necessary parts of a happy, healthy, and balanced life. So often, we find ourselves taking care of everyone else, attending to their needs while ignoring our own. Whether it is a matter of time and energy constraints, self-esteem issues, or deep-seated feelings about our worth in the world, being good to yourself is something that we all deserve and are worthy of.

Summertime gives us myriad opportunities for self-care. The sun simply feels divine. Summertime treats such as a simple popsicle can offer a much-needed boost in mood. And the opportunity to be around friends, neighbors, and loved ones outside at a campfire or an outdoor party breathe new life into our daily existence.

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Love Someone

What can you do when there’s nothing you can do?

The Practice:
Love Someone.
Why?

Sometimes something happens. Perhaps your sweet old cat takes a turn for the worse, or there’s a money problem, or your son waves goodbye as he gets on a plane to start college on the other side of the country. Sometimes it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election and you’re grappling with its consequences (see my last post on this topic: Take Heart).

Or you might be dealing with something ongoing, like a dead-end job (or no job at all), life after divorce, chronic pain, or a teenager who won’t talk to you.

Whatever it is, at first it’s normal to feel rattled, frozen, or unclear about what to do. After awhile, you do what you can to change things for the better. But often there’s not much you can actually change, and sometimes nothing at all.

Still, there is always one thing you can do, no matter what.

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Take Heart

What do you do when the bottom falls out?

The Practice:
Take heart.

Why?

It takes heart to live in even ordinary times.

By “taking heart,” I mean several related things:

  • Sensing your heart and chest
  • Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you
  • Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you from others; love flowing in and love flowing out
  • Being courageous, whole-hearted and strong-hearted – going forward wisely even when anxious, knowing your own truth and as you speak it

When you take heart, you’re more able to deal with challenges like aging, illness, trauma, or conflicts with others. You’re also more able to take advantage of opportunities with confidence and grit.

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Getting Everything by Giving It

The world is not holding you back. You are holding the world back. You are holding back your strength and your strength can make a difference at this time. You have a power in you that can move mountains, and, better yet, people. But you’re still allowing others to tell you what’s possible or right.

Maybe you’re still chasing kudos to glue some sequined wings onto your hobbled back. But no amount of approval will ever set loose the inspired potential that you already possess. You have the power to shed your ordinary skin. You have the power to turn pain into hope, disconnection into union, and this moment into a balm to some section of humanity. You are holding back the floodgates of your own wild ride.

Wild success is not about what the world can give to you, but what you can give to the world.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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