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How To Stop Caring What Other People Think About You

group-of-hands-with-pointing-finger-picture-id174850257 How To Stop Caring What Other People Think About You

You have no control of what other people think about you.

The only control that you have is over yourself, and how you respond.

Your responsibility is not to make others happy but to be yourself fully.

People’s opinions of you reflect more about themselves than about you. So don’t take it personally. Just because they judge you a certain way, or have a negative opinion of you, doesn’t mean it’s true.

It’s just their opinion. It’s their perception, and perception is not reality.

Our perception is a projection based on our current level of consciousness which is determined by our conditioning and experiences.

So make peace with who you are, and who you aren’t. The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will seek it from others.

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570 Hits

What Does Love Feel Like?

man-and-dog-in-the-park-picture-id934108632 What Does Love Feel Like?

Let's start with why have a spirit in the body? Why not be the spirit?

If you're just a spirit, what does chocolate taste like? It takes energy to make visual pictures, to make sound, to taste. So when you get into the suit you can see, smell, touch, taste, feel. Back to what does love feel like?

I can have a conscious idea as a spirit. Love is nice. But what does love feel like? Well, get into a body and release dopamine. Oh, that's what love feels like. The body converts our reality into sensation so that we can experience physical things. But you also have choices of where you want to go and what you want to do. It's not just the feelings going in and going back to Source, it's the Source with information of what to do coming into the body like a two-way street.

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Make Loving Yourself A Sacred Ritual

beautiful-young-girl-is-wearing-casual-clothes-having-rest-in-a-with-picture-id910206946 Make Loving Yourself A Sacred Ritual

This week’s goddess that stood out for me in our universal energy forecast is the Greek goddess Demeter. I’m on the ocean right now with medium John Holland for our cruise, and I plan on going to the spa this week and swimming in the ocean when we stop, something I have not done in a while. When I am true to my self-care plan I take regular Himalayan salt baths, meditate, spend very little time on personal social media and do a regular inventory of my thoughts feelings and beliefs. Do you have a special way to self-care? A ritual? Are you faithful to it?

Self-nurturing is so important with my busy schedule, and if I forget, or say yes when I need to say no, I regret it. Here on this beautiful ocean one would think it’s a vacation for me, but it’s work and so I’m also aware of the needs of my students here and why they came. So if I don’t take care of me, I won’t be able to serve at my highest capacity, and I may fall prey to want to rescue someone in pain. Most healers and practitioners of the intuitive arts are driven by Demeter’s energy and that makes us good at what we do, but we need to be careful and self-aware and know where the boundary lies.

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132 Hits

“I am good enough, dammit!”

what-a-fantastic-day-it-is-outside-picture-id926197280 Reversing a lifetime of having low self-esteem

My whole life, I had been my worst critic. I was my own judge, jury and executioner. I strove for perfection, sought validation and felt that I have to compete for everything in order to deserve something. This is a result of people — most especially my family— criticizing me, telling me in many different ways how I was not good enough and how I need to be different and do better. Undoing that damage is neither easy nor quick. The solution was both simple and complicated but I am now peeling away the ugly layers that covered up my true self.


Growing up, I was constantly ‘teased’ about my flaws. My skin was too dark. My smile was too gummy. My lower lip was too thick. I was too skinny, too shy, too weak, too clumsy, too slow. There was a never-ending list of things that’s ‘wrong’ with me. And those were mostly from my own family — cousins, uncles and aunts, grandparents, siblings, and my mom. For who I was and whatever I did, I was simply not good enough. I felt like I could never measure up to standards set by those around me.

One of my first memories were of my parents broken up. I don’t remember them being together at all. Before my father died when I was 17, I remember seeing him only twice. I guess, this is where it all started, as a little girl asking, “Why doesn’t he want to see me? Am I not good enough for him?” That feeling of being unwanted by him didn’t leave me until I was about 18. Did I have daddy issues? Perhaps. I’ll leave that to the experts. But I honestly think that this is not the only culprit that eroded my self-worth.

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150 Hits

Best Ways To Be Your Biggest Cheerleader

bestway Best Ways To Be Your Biggest Cheerleader

They say we teach what we most need to learn and lately that has been true for me. I have decided to tackle a new project…I am calling it my “creative challenge,” and it is SO BIG and so intimidating to me that I am not sharing it with anyone… just yet.
Every day, as I carve out time to work on this project, I am confronted by a ton of thoughts of why I can’t do it, why it’s impossible, etc., and then I spend a bunch of time diving into my spiritual tool kit to off load the negative thinking. 

Needless to say, the project is moving at a snail’s pace.

It’s so easy to let the negative monkey mind chatter take over and I’ve had enough of it so here is my new commitment.

Today I am reminding myself of three very important things I seem to have forgotten:

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Is Self Love A Pre- Requisite To Soulmate Love?

selfloveheart Is Self Love A Pre- Requisite To Soulmate Love?

Self Love is the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths that until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you. Can this really be true?

My experience has been that most women and some men (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their heads that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”

And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love? Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?

I don’t think so.

What is required is to learn how to “talk back” to that voice and create strategies to love yourself more and better. This includes a big dose of self-awareness so that when the “voice surfaces” you kick its butt!

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344 Hits

What Are You Afraid Of?

afraidof What Are You Afraid Of?

The low frequency blocker to Love is fear.

Fear undermines love and thus your entire PLATINUM beingness.

Fear blocks love’s presence and fear happens when you don’t have trust.

When you’re in the high frequency state of love you’re in a truly expanded place and a state of acceptance.

You’re not afraid of anything, you’re just loving…hate and fear cannot exist in this state.

If you’re not in a state of love you have conscious or unconscious fearful thoughts blocking your ability to have and be the love that is your true essence.

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259 Hits

There is a cure for loneliness. And it’s….

friends-picture-id525695643 There is a cure for loneliness. And it’s….

YES, you guessed it - LOVE is the cure for loneliness.

There is so much loneliness in our world today.  Not only within our lives but on a global level, loneliness is fueled by fear, hatred and mis-trust.

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395 Hits

The Spirit of Giving

spiritofgiving The Spirit of Giving

For 11 months out of the year, we focus our energy on working, raising the kids, maintaining our relationships – both romantic and platonic, and trying to live as balanced a life as possible.

In the midst of juggling all of these responsibilities, we go through periods of neglecting and/or feeling neglected by our significant others; feeling under-appreciated by our immediate family; emotionally and physically distanced from our closest friends; disappointed with what’s going on at work; and disconnected with the most important person of all: ourselves.


Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, we find ourselves adding time, energy and money exponentially to all the people we didn’t get to spend as much time with as well as the ones who are the most important. We celebrate the season with countless holiday parties, grab bags and Secret Santa gifts. Ugly sweater parties and “catch up” drinks with friends we rarely get to see.

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233 Hits

How To Honor and Respect Yourself

woman-waving-rainbow-flag-at-gay-parade-picture-id972902056 How To Honor and Respect Yourself

Don’t mistake being kind, loving and spiritual for allowing others to walk all over you or treat you with disrespect.

When you know who you really are, a magnificent expression of the Divine, you won’t allow yourself to be treated like anything less.

Focus on your spirit and protect your true essence.

People treat you how you teach them to treat you based on what you accept.

No one can continue to mistreat you unless you allow it. You are responsible for what you accept. Allowing people to treat you with disrespect serves no one.

In life and relationships you get what you settle for.

So what are you settling for?

You can’t control people’s actions, but you can control what you put up with, accept and how you choose to respond.

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295 Hits

The Forgiveness Factor

happy-woman-jumping-and-enjoying-life-at-sunset-in-mountains-picture-id931873664 The Forgiveness Factor

Scientists have discovered there are emotional, mental, and even physical needs for forgiveness.

Every cell in your body acts like a computer. Each cell has an electromagnetic energy field and a biochemical composition that instantly responds to your environment — and to your thoughts.

According to well-documented discoveries in epigenetics, genetic inheritance is only a predisposition. Whether it is triggered or not is dependent on the individual’s programs.

What does that mean? It means that more than anything else, the body’s response to our conscious and unconscious thoughts determines your health and happiness.

Now, here’s the really good news!  To forgive is the soul’s choice.

That’s right, your soul has a choice!

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405 Hits

Start Each Morning With A Big Dose of LOVE

morning-and-new-obligations-picture-id923211752 Start Each Morning With A Big Dose of LOVE

Several years ago on a trip to Bali, we were privileged to meet a very old, wizened Shaman who taught us a beautiful morning love process to bless, heal, and nourish my body, mind, and soul.  

This transformative process is a fantastic way to begin each day and I highly recommend it for everyone who desires to have more love in their life!

Here’s how to do it:

When you wake up, before getting out of bed, before checking your phone, or anything else…  lie in bed, with your eyes closed. and put a smile on your face.

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306 Hits

How to Love Yourself & Make the World a Better Place in the Process

how-to-love-yourself-1024x683 How to Love Yourself & Make the World a Better Place in the Process

Have you ever wondered why we find it so easy to love other people yet find it so difficult learning how to love yourself?

I think it’s because we have been taught that loving ourselves is selfish or conceited in some way. After all, nobody likes a narcissistic person who walks around saying, “I’m so awesome!” all the time, and never seems to care very much about anyone else.  

But there is a huge difference between loving yourself and being a narcissist!

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re better than everyone else.

It’s simply a matter of recognizing your own good qualities and acknowledging that you are a loveable person and that you are worthy of love.

Because no matter what you’ve been taught to believe, you ARE worthy of love. I want you to understand that at a bone-deep level.

No matter who you are or where you’re at in life, you deserve all the love in the world.

And the most important person you need to receive that love from, more than anyone else, is yourself.

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You're so nice!

happy-kitten-likes-being-stroked-by-womans-hand-picture-id909106260 You're so nice!
"You're so nice!". I hear this phrase at least twice a day, and most of the time I don't mind and reply with the obligatory "Thank you.". Than there are the other times..the times where I do something "nice" that I really don't want to do. It's those times where I spew the words "yes, of course!" like a sweet venom. Sweet for the receiver but concealed with a dose of angst inside of myself about doing it.
 
I said "yes" to babysitting, and listened to a child whine over the amount of time it has taken me to get the Netflix show he want's on while contemplating why I chose this instead of getting my nails done. I have said "yes" to "loaning" money to distant friends while my gut told me that I would never see those precious dollars I had worked so hard for back. I have said "yes" to dinners with people that suck my energy dry and make me want to repeatedly bang my face into the dish of pasta I'm eating while wailing like a small child. Why? because I'm "nice".


 
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192 Hits

The Power of You

woman-from-behind-stretching-out-arms-by-sunrise-picture-id539331382 The Power of You
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” — Honore de Balzac

My friend Martha said something to me the other day that stopped me cold. “I have an idea for you,” she said. Having no idea what her idea could possibly be, I said, “Go for it. Tell me.”

Now, Martha knows me well. She knows my strengths, my weaknesses, my fears. She’s stood beside me when it was dark and she has constantly and consistently pushed me into my own light. When a person like that says they have an idea for you, pay attention.

Martha went on to tell me that a mutual friend who had recently been in a meeting with me remarked, “I didn’t know how smart Maria is. I didn’t realize who she was until that meeting. Why is she holding back her power?”

Ouch.

Martha continued, “Why don’t you take a week and walk into every encounter – personally and professionally – and say exactly what’s on your mind? Why don’t you take a week to feel your own personal power? Don’t be afraid that you might offend people. Don’t be afraid you might scare people. Don’t be afraid of your own intensity. Step into it and see how you feel.”


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209 Hits

How To Love Your Body (Video)

lovebody How To Love Your Body

Your body is beautiful just because you have a body.

No other reason needed.

It is a living work of art. A masterpiece and magical expression of the Divine.

But how often do we really appreciate and love our bodies?

We have been conditioned and brainwashed by the media to believe that “You are not enough as you are”.

This is a lie.

This creates so much shame, judgment, non-acceptance of our naturalness. We end up hating our bodies, disconnecting from it’s innate intelligence, and comparing ourselves to others.

We base our self-worth on being the perfect shape, weight, or size.

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416 Hits

Giving Yourself and Others Room to Grow

runners-tying-running-shoes-and-getting-ready-to-run-picture-id864384892 Giving Yourself and Others Room to Grow

There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships -- one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

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255 Hits

Is Your Self-Help Helping?

selfhelp Is Your Self-Help Helping?

Market studies show that the personal development/self-improvement industry is growing at a rapid pace. More and more people are spending more and more money to help them lose weight, improve relationships, manage stress, attain success, increase productivity, achieve balance, and find fulfillment.

Yet despite the increase of people investing in self-help tools, techniques, technologies, teachers, and coaches, daily I hear from people who are stuck. They feel helpless, resigned, and frustrated after months or years of: 

  • being on diet and exercise routines yet not seeing a shift in their weight or inches
  • trying to adhere to a budget yet never getting out of debt
  • practicing yoga and meditation daily yet still being consumed/paralyzed by stress and anxiety
  • looking for “the one” yet finding no one special
  • wanting to start, ramp up, or change careers yet continuing to sit at the same desk or lie on the same couch

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564 Hits

What it Takes to Stay Married: Creating a Conscious Partnership

What-It-Takes-to-Stay-Married-iStock-184940353-min Creating a Conscious Partnership

Are you one of those people who would rather be right than loved? Here’s the chance to choose differently.” –Jan Desai

I’m a statistic: twice divorced and almost ten years into my third marriage. If you’re a numbers person, the statistics are stacked against me.

In the U.S., fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce with 67 percent of second and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.

It appears that happily ever after really doesn’t exist.

But this time around I’m committed to something different. I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the bumpy roads of relationships and I wish to share my greatest discovery in ensuring that the statistics don’t get the best of me… or you!

It’s called conscious partnering.

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1094 Hits

From Postpartum Depression to Mindful Self-Compassion

newborn From Postpartum Depression to Mindful Self-Compassion

I have this memory from 1990 of feeling like my little baby and I were all alone in the universe. The love that I felt for him was heartbreaking. I could sit and watch him sleep for hours, waiting for his little cherub lip to quiver in his slumber. Everything else in my life felt too bright, too loud, too something… too raw. My body was a disaster, and my mind wasn’t too far behind. The only bright spot was the baby.

I had flashbacks of giving birth for months. It was terrifying and excruciating. They call it a precipitous delivery, when your cervix dilates from 4 to 10 centimeters in less than 10 minutes. His head was stuck behind my tailbone and they were pushing so hard on my back that it felt like it broke. The anesthesiologist wouldn’t give me an epidural because they didn’t have an IV running. She responded to my screams for drugs: “You’re not getting any drugs, honey; your baby is coming out now.” It felt like someone was cutting my body open with an axe and pulling out my organs — and that was a vaginal delivery!

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543 Hits

30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

Join Soulspring for conscious insights...

...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...

 PLUS! Get your FREE Guide: 12 Mindfulness Practices to a Peaceful Mind