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Pet the Lizard

Down deep, do you feel at ease?

The Practice:
Pet the lizard.

Why?

I’ve always liked lizards.

Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I’d catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease.

In my early 20’s, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. It was torpid and still in the cold and let me pick it up. Concerned that it might be freezing to death, I placed it on the shoulder of my turtleneck, where it clung and occasionally moved about for the rest of the day. There was a kind of wordless communication between us, in which the lizard seemed to feel I wouldn’t hurt it, and I felt it wouldn’t scratch or bite me. After a few hours, I hardly knew it was there, and sometime in the afternoon it left without me realizing it.

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The Miracle Of The Coronavirus – Part 2

The longer we are isolated the more we want to be together. But we do not gather because we love the people we are isolating ourselves from. That is why we are isolating. So the coronavirus is showing us new ways to express our love, creative ways, ingenious ways, joyful ways that expand the bounds of cocreativity and redefine togetherness away from the five-sensory understanding as physical proximity to the multisensory experience that is far beyond that.

The coronavirus is showing us how shallow were so many of our relationships that we thought were deep. Before the coronavirus reshaped our lives, we exchanged countless hugs, blew countless air kisses, and smiled countless smiles without inner warmth. Now, in our isolation, we are beginning to see that togetherness is more than these things. When I was addicted to sex I thought it was the ultimate experience of togetherness until I realized that the women I was attracted to and who were attracted to me did not care about me any more than I cared about them, and I did not care about them. They were all replaceable to me, and I was replaceable to all of them.

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Staying In The Now

There’s a misconception that focusing on the positive means we’re in denial about the struggles we’re facing. That’s not true. We’re all a little bit meshugenah, screwed up, right now. And COVID-19, it’s a serious topic. We want to protect ourselves and protect each other — but staying home can be terrifying for some of us as well. We can’t go to work. We feel disconnected. There’s an increase in many issues related to mental health, and we need to acknowledge all that. This is a heartbreaking time for a lot of people in a lot of ways. 

But even when we’re sitting in the middle of it, there’s still a choice — a choice to feel the fear, and then decide to do something positive. One thing I’m concentrating on these days is creating opportunities for us to come together and be together in community. Yes, it’s online and it may not be a hug in person from your BFF, but it still can be high vibe. We can still use the internet to create something magical. 

These two things — the fear and the high vibe — can co-exist.

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How To End Suffering During Times Of COVID-19

“We all feel pain when things don't go according to plan, but suffering is optional.”

We are all as humanity going through this enormous unprecedented time of COVID-19. We may not all be on the same boat, but we are in the same storm. Regardless of where you're at during this time, you don't have to suffer. Feelings are natural, and feelings will remain present until fully felt. Listen to this episode to learn how to navigate through these times with a new perspective, new focus, and choosing to look at what truly matters.

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You Are Enough-The Essential Self

“When you willingly reconnect to your Essential Self—­to your soul—­you immediately access the power and potential for unimaginable transformation. This power requires no effort, no pushing, no striving.“

Your essential self is vast. it is pure consciousness, universal awareness, and it is the foundation of all expression, creativity, and expansion in this world. It is “you” in your most unadulterated form. You entered this world with this essential innocence and purity, but life’s events have distanced and covered over the core foundation of your being. You have forgotten the essential you.

When you forget, you do something very curious.You experience your mind thinking, your feelings arising, and your body functioning, and you conclude that those aspects of your experience are the totality of who you are. You say, “I’m fat,” “I’m depressed,” “I’m poor, broken, and hopeless,” “I’m angry,” or “I’m stupid,” as if you are the thought, feeling, situation, or body part.

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Use Your Pain to Change

Most everything that we have to say about life and our relationships with others -- and how we talk about the part of us that wants to smooth things over, keep them from being disturbed -- is a form of saying something nice about what is killing us.

Here’s the bottom line: We just don't want to go through the pain of doing what's right when it's right to do it. That’s the whole shebang.
 

It isn't you I'm afraid of, it's my own pain. It isn't the condition I don't want to get in and mess with. I don't want to get in mess with the parts of me that are going to beat me over the head with threats and all other forms of conditioned reactions.

Everything about your work is bringing you to a point where you understand the need to bear yourself and to do so despite being unable to do it. Then you are upon a cross. Then you go through what is required of you to have your own life.

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You Are Enough -Your Core Wounding

“Your core wounding is separation from self-­love, which results in deep feelings of unworthiness. The healing of that wounding is a journey back to your Essential Self..“

The details are inconsequential. in fact, you may not even remember what happened. What is important is that there was some pivotal juncture in your formative years when you first realized that your Essential Self did not fit into the conditioning of the world into which you were born. It was a moment of emotional torment and upheaval, imprinted on your being like a vibrational energetic tattoo. You were not safe.

Simultaneously with that event, a deep sense of unworthiness entered your vibrational sphere and became cemented in place by shame and guilt.

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Become A Wabi Sabi Spiritual Warrior

One of my most effective “surviving and thriving” tools is the practice of Wabi Sabi. Known predominantly as an ancient Japanese aesthetic that honors all things old, worn, imperfect and impermanent, Wabi Sabi seeks to find the beauty and perfection in imperfection.

Between Covid-19 and the crashing economy coupled with epic levels of uncertainty and instability, it’s easy to notice everything that is wrong in the world.

I believe it is the job of the spiritual warrior to look for what’s right, to see the light, in spite of all of the painful and dark circumstances.

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Leave the "Victim Level" of Life Behind You

When faced with any pain or grief -- past, present, or promised -- the first thing our lower nature, the "me mind," usually asks is: "What's to be done? Who can I speak to about it? What's the best way for me to handle it? Is there any way out?" And at the heart of these complaints, whether detected or not, is the me mind's favorite question: "Why does everything happen to me?"
 

But at the root of each of these fearful questions which seem to seek a way out of the sorrow lies a secret assumption, one that keeps us defeated and going around in sad circles. And the deception in this assumption of ours is so habitual that if it weren't for the existence of a higher order of self, with its powers of higher perception, this subtle betrayal would be complete. What is this unconscious assumption that almost none can see?
 

The deception begins with the assumption that whatever your current pain may be, it must be real. And, more importantly, hidden in this same unsuspected assumption, is the wrong reasoning that since that ache is lodged in your heart -- it must follow that that pain belongs to you.
 

Even if you doubt the existence of a higher, happier life level, the following is beyond all doubt: living from a mind that automatically assumes suffering is real, gives you no choice other than to remain a perpetual victim. This defeated inner condition is the same as being sentenced to a life of perpetual sadness and resentment. Our lives aren't meant to be spent in this wasteful way. Following is a new and much higher way to look at, and solve, this very old problem.
 

The next time any sadness, or worry of any kind, calls for you, slow the whole of yourself down and work to quietly observe yourself.

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How to Settle the Mind During a Crisis

At first only a few voices spoke of positive change after the COVID crisis ends, or at least becomes livable once again. Now one hears a chorus calling for change, much of it from younger people. The main message is about global cooperation and preparing better for the next pandemic. But I think people are pondering personal change, too. In the midst of widespread trepidation, what are the new goals that each of us might start pursuing right now?

 

The first goal should be a settled mind. Fear is persuasive and panic easily goes viral. At the best of times most people turn their backs on worrisome problems rather than dealing with them directly. But unless you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, you can settle your mind and go beyond fear. The first steps to gaining mastery over fear are open to everyone, as follows.

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Flowing Down a Mountain

My personal and most memorable experience of accessing a state of FLOW was entirely unplanned. It occurred while snow skiing, finding a single focus, through repetitive, harmonious movement, carving left to right, left to right, like a snake down a slope. No resistance. Moving in fear, to move past it. (Fear is after all just our ego (false-self) trying to protect us).

It was Valentine’s Day 2002, I was on a ski trip in the Alps with a boyfriend, but we were in no way having the romantic experience that information might conjure up. 

We were staying in the same ski resort in Austria I’d honeymooned at in my early twenties (it was disastrous as honeymoons go and a catalyst for our divorce just 6 months later). But it was here, where I had fallen in love with skiing.

Just a few weeks before this trip, I had chosen to abort a pregnancy. While making this choice very consciously, I was still recovering both physically and emotionally. I was not in love. Our relationship was already over. I still harboured unreconciled feelings for someone else back in South Africa. And on this day, the 14th of February — being the birthday of my childhood sweetheart and soul mate who had died in a car accident at the age of 23, while drinking and driving — to say that I was a walking, breathing emotional volcano, showing tangible signs of erupting, would not be an over dramatisation. The seismic activity in my system was real.

 

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Love In or Lock Down

Every action has an intention. Even not acting and not speaking are actions, and each has an intention. Your intention is the most important thing, not what you do. Your intention is why you do what you do. For example, imagine that you are hiking with a friend, and she suddenly pushes you violently off the trail. If she pushes you because she sees a rattlesnake, and she intends to keep you safe, her push comes from love. She cares about you. If she pushes you because she intends to keep herself safe, her push comes from fear. She cares about herself.

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Reclaiming Your Power When You Feel Like Life’s Out of Control

Are you feeling frayed around the edges, like you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it all together? 

If so, you’re not alone!

A lot of us are starting to feel like we’re nearing the end of our rope. I mean, this has been going on for a long time now! The daily anxiety, the death counts, the news — it just seems to go on and on. 

Even those of us who started out really strong (or maybe just in denial!), and we thought, “This will be over soon…” Well, “soon” has come and gone and here we still are! Depending where you are in the world, you may not even have passed the peak yet, and you may be wondering how much more you can take.

The news wants to feed the Fear Virus and paint a picture of doom and gloom, and we have to counter it with signs of hope. Yes, there is devastation around us — I don’t want to ignore or downplay that. But I also want to remind you that there is a pattern here. And as hard as it is to believe, this too shall pass. 

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Soul Agreements

We each come into our human lifetimes with an individual soul plan, which we then forget at birth. God, however, remembers, and God’s presence as the soul continuously reminds us of that plan. What may seem a complete falling apart of everything in your life is really only a divine rerouting to keep you on course for what you agreed to experience, and expand with, before you incarnated. Your soul always remembers. When you begin to live consciously as your soul, you won’t feel so blindsided by life events. At the highest and deepest levels, everything is unfolding as it is meant to.

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Choosing Trust Over Fear

We’re living in unprecedented times. Every day brings new challenges and new STUFF… it truly is an extraordinary time in human history. It’s easy to feel like we’re lost. We don’t know what the heck to do with what’s happening all around us because we’ve never been through this before!

Especially if we or someone close to us is ill (or we think they might be…), it can be hard to pull our focus from the negative. 

Just a few weeks ago, I got really sick. I had just come back from Chile, and I had all the symptoms… but no one was really talking about Coronavirus at that point. I had all of it — the fever, the bronchial stuff. And because I have asthma, I was especially concerned. 

There was a moment there where I literally thought I was going to die. I lost my eyesight and actually fell down in the bathroom. It was scary. I couldn’t do anything, just lie in bed. I had no voice, no energy. 

It could have been easy to sink into that, and then compound it with guilt over having to cancel events (and I NEVER cancel events!). 

But I remember saying to myself, “I can either bemoan what’s going on for me and get scared, or I can sit in gratitude, yes, even for this.” So in the worst of my illness, I kept saying, “Okay, Spirit, if it’s my turn, just… okay.” 

And three times a day for half an hour, I’d just sit there and listen to uplifting music like Deva Premal, Enya, Joni Mitchell, and Stevie Nicks. I would put my hand on my heart and stay super grateful and get really chill. And it helped. 

Listen, I’m not saying that Enya can cure COVID (but who really knows, right?!). 

What I am saying is that we can find comfort, even when we’re living in uncertainty. 

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Emotional Intelligence: Escaping the Matrix of Fear

For many young people, the COVID virus outbreak will bring their first experience of fear and anxiety as a pervasive mood. As a society we are afraid of fear, and most of the time we can turn our backs on it. But this kind of denial is unworkable in a crisis. As bad news mounts daily and society becomes ever more anxious, countless people become enmeshed in the matrix of fear without knowing how to escape.

Social forces can drive you to participate in the matrix of fear, but society cannot get you out of it. Escape is something each person must confront on their own. I believe that freeing yourself from fear and anxiety is possible. More than that, you can learn how to be free of fear long after the COVID crisis has passed.

The key is to cultivate emotional intelligence. The term had a burst of attention some years ago, but the value of emotional intelligence never changes, and when you focus on it, you will achieve something worthwhile for life.  Here are six principles to guide you through the process.

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How To Deal With Fear

We are going through some intense times right now in the world.

Many of us are worried about our safety and how we take care of ourselves and those we love.

I believe that we will get through this together, and we can get through these times stronger.

In dealing with COVID-19, it is important to be smart, discerning and intentional in doing our part to ensure we take care of ourselves and those around us, our loved ones, our elderly and our children.

It is important that we focus on what we can control, not on what we cannot. This will only create more fear and panic. We can take responsibility for building up our immune system with rest, sleep, hydration, supplements (i.e: Vitamin C, echinacea, ginger, turmeric, oregano oil, etc.).

What you focus on expands.

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Coronavirus – Opportunity Or Obstacle?

Corona usually refers to an aura (visible appearance) of plasma (ionized gas) around the sun. The coronavirus that is infecting humans for the first time (which is why we have no immunity) is covid-19. It is a type of coronavirus, just as “rose” is a type of flower. Yet covid-19 is a bloodless, lifeless term with no emotional relevance to human experience. That is why, in my opinion, we continue to call the virus that has infected us the coronavirus. We sense that it is intimately related to us humans.

As we become multisensory – able to perceive beyond the limitations of the five senses – we begin to see that everything around us is symbolic. The world is no longer random and meaningless. It is filled with meaning, and we can learn about ourselves from it. What can we learn about ourselves from the coronavirus?

The corona of the sun extends millions of miles into space and is hugely hotter than the visible surface of the sun. It is not detectable without instruments, except during a solar eclipse, but it is real and its effects upon the Earth are real. Is there an invisible part of us that extends far beyond what our five senses can detect and whose effects upon us are large and real? Yes. There are many, and we call one of them our collective consciousness.

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There's No Going Back

"Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" -Emma Lazarus

I've Been Thinking...

This was the week when it really dawned on me that life is never going back to “normal.” Well, at least it won’t be the normal we knew just a few short weeks ago.


It wasn’t any one thing that made me come to this realization. Let’s just say there were enough different things this week that brought me to this place. The rise of infections. The doomsday predictions that the worst is yet to come. The pictures of makeshift hospitals and funeral homes. The new recommendations to wear face masks if you go out of your house. The rise of domestic abuse cases. And the startling number of 10 million new unemployment claims!


In the last few weeks alone, 10 million people in the U.S. have filed for unemployment benefits. Ten million individuals. Ten million of our neighbors, our friends, our fellow families. It seemed like almost every conversation I had this week involved heartache and loss. The loss of a job, the loss of a business, the loss of a dream, the loss of a friend. And in my own family, the loss of a child and grandchild.

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Embracing Your Biggest Fears

By acknowledging and facing fears, we can reach the other side.

By all accounts, Nelson Mandela was one of the greatest people ever to walk the face of the earth. In his 95 years, he rose from small-town law student to President of South Africa, all despite being held as a political prisoner for 27 years.

As someone who could have easily lived the rest of his life in fear and bitterness, Mandela took the high road, overcoming and embracing his fears for the betterment of the world.

Among his many memorable quotes is one that really stands out: “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

It’s a powerful statement.

I believe if you examine your own life, you’ll probably find that it rings true for you, too.

The fact is, fear is a learned behavior.

When we’re born, we only have a natural fear of two things: loud noises and falling backward.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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