Coming to grips with what you can and can’t control opens the door to true emotional freedom and personal power. I frequently receive questions about what to do in situations where someone is behaving in an unloving way, or a way that’s painful for them. For example:
- My co-worker never answers emails, making it very hard for me to do my work, as I need his input.
- My wife never wants to make love.
- People often ask me intrusive questions that I don’t want to answer.
- My husband is often late and never calls to let me know he is going to be late for dinner.
- My friend got together with a bunch of our friends for lunch and didn’t invite me.
- My parents are forever criticizing me.
- I often feel invaded and demanded of by family and friends.
- My husband sits at the table when we go out to dinner absorbed with his phone instead of talking with me.
- My children are disrespectful toward me.
- My wife has a male friend whom she talks with all the time and sometimes meets for lunch, even though I’ve told her I’m uncomfortable with their relationship.
- My wife often wants to talk about what I’m doing wrong.
Two Healthy Choices in Conflict
It is important to remember that we have only two healthy ways of dealing with conflict – two loving responses when another is behaving in a way that is upsetting or hurtful to us.