“All mistakes are simply the ego’s misinterpretation of reality.”
We’ve all made mistakes at some moment, things we wish we hadn’t done or had done differently. Sometimes we carry the shame or guilt of what we perceive as mistakes, and we beat ourselves up. Take a listen to this episode and learn how to let go of this notion of right and wrong, and discover the profound freedom in realizing you can never make a mistake.
Some Questions I Ask:
- What is life seeking to unfold and express beyond your ego attachment?
- What if more happened when you just allowed it to happen?
- What if life was seeking to give you so much more?
- What would you do if you couldn’t make a mistake? Where would you go? Who would you speak to? What risks would you take?
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- What real freedom really means.
- The definition of ‘making a mistake’.
- The unexpected benefits of standing still when you don’t know what to do.
- What to do when things aren’t flowing in life.
- One key reason to not get attached to any outcome.
Are you putting off opening to another relationship for fear of getting hurt again?
You’ve been hurt over and over in your relationships, and now you are hesitant to seek a relationship for fear of getting hurt again. You might be asking, as many of my clients do, “How do I overcome my fear of being hurt again in a relationship?”
It’s important to understand that there are two kinds of hurt.
- The heartbreak that comes from someone being unloving – lying, betraying you, being angry or judgmental, suddenly ending a relationship, and so on.
- The hurt feelings that come from what you are telling yourself and how you might be judging yourself. Are you telling yourself things like, “What did I do wrong?” “How could I have been so stupid as to believe him (or her)?”
Healing involves learning from and lovingly managing both kinds of hurt.
After our big poodle Ringo died, we had one very sad, little poodle dog in Alaska. We decided It was time for her to make the trip to Arizona. We hoped that a busier house and the warm sun would help her spirits lift. She had come into our lives at eight weeks old, a rescue from Fairbanks, Alaska. My favorite name for her was Baby Dog, even in her adult years. She loved people and our dog Ringo, but wasn’t so sure about most other dogs.
I wanted to find a companion for Baby Dog to grow old with. I also wanted a dog that could be my trail pup. I choose the name Supreme, before we knew when or how a new dog would enter our life. I loved the name Supreme because it reminds me of our connection to all the good and lovely things in life. I imagined that every time I called Supreme, I would be connecting to the wonderful, spiritual richness life has to offer.
I found a male poodle puppy that would hopefully become Baby Dog’s best friend and my trail partner. On his second day with our family, my son and I walked and mostly carried him on my favorite trail. The next day I took him for a wellness check. I was told he needed to stay in our home and yard exclusively until he reached 16 weeks old. After his last Parvo vaccination Supreme would be free to leave our home. I was disappointed, but put off puppy class and trail walks until he was safe.
Forgiveness, peace, love and joy…
How good would it feel to immerse yourself in these high frequency codes?
Imagine how different this week might be if you could wrap yourself in a white light blanket of peace…
A cozy comforter of forgiveness and love enveloping you at every moment…
How would that change this week for you?
How would that change your entire year?
Think about that for a moment.
Are you ready to feel it? You can!
Take a few deep breaths…imagine a column of white light coming in and down, filling your whole body. This is your True Self, the perfection that you are.
The one thing in life that never changes is change, or so people say. But in reality we all experience a struggle between accepting change and resisting it, trying to make things different and yet feeling an anxious need to keep things the same. This struggle is what makes personal change so difficult. We can’t make up our minds once and for all how we feel about changing.
If change is so difficult, how can there be personal transformation, upon which the whole movement of human potential is based? It takes vision and commitment to believe that such a thing is even possible. Most people have mixed feelings about how their lives are going. “Taking the bitter with the sweet” is an old saying in English dating back to the 13th century, but it expresses a universal experience in every society.
Many times in our culture, we are ashamed of our anger. We run away from our anger and suppress it. But that only leads to energy building up inside, and whatever you suppress will get expressed later in toxic ways. Listen to this episode to learn 4 keys to dealing with your anger, letting go of the past and reclaiming your power.
Some Questions I Ask:
- What comes up for you when you hear the word anger? What do you imagine?
- What is your relationship with anger in your life?
- How often do you allow yourself to feel your anger?
- Is there some part of you that doesn’t want to let go of the anger?
- How do you process your anger?
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- The key reasons we learn to disconnect from our anger.
- The dangers of suppressing your feelings.
- How anger can be a coping mechanism and the way to overcome it.
- How to get closure, regardless of your past.
- The surprising reasons you may have trouble getting over your anger and how to address them.
Have you ever seen rage in yourself? Generally, we don't want to see certain states within us because we've been conditioned to think of them as being morally "wrong" for us. We don't understand that these dark states are part of an interior world that can be changed when the light of awareness is shined upon them.
What happens when we see things about ourselves that we don't want to see?
In order to avoid looking at itself, the mind will seize on the rage it has seen, and it will try to explain it. It will take the initial darkness, the negative energy, and because it seems to be basically out of control, the mind will try to make of it something that it can deal with. When we live from a nature that does not want to see its "self," then there's no chance that this level of self, this nature, can ever change. When we hide from ourselves the way we feel, the only thing that we're accomplishing is the assurance that these feelings will return again... only more of them! It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: we condemn and doom ourselves by being afraid of the darkness in us. We have one thing to do with our own states, and that is to see them as they are, to catch the part of us that's afraid of being what we've just seen, and to stop trying to hide anything anymore... because we're on this earth to learn.
We often hear people talk about why we should forgive but rarely do they explain the how. Forgiveness! I’ll be the first to admit that forgiveness is sometimes a struggle for me. I just completed seminary school and during my studies, every time we had to randomly pick a topic in class…I would pull forgiveness. But, I firmly believe that all things always work together for my highest good and greatest joy and this journey of forgiveness has taught me some things about life, myself, and allowing this Divine Energy and Essence that I call God access into the inner most parts of myself. The Rev. Johnnie Colemon, used to say…lessons are not taught they are caught. Which means experience is the greatest teacher.
So what is forgiveness…have you heard that it’s to give for…for example…give up hate for love...give up fear for faith. That’s a simple way of explaining forgiveness.
We are born whole, free and absolutely perfect. Yet oftentimes, during the course of our lives, we get shut down in that natural process.
Imagine when you were a toddler, expressing yourself with creativity and love while doing what comes naturally through curiosity and exploration, such as singing loudly or shrieking in pure joy. Then, because you happened to be in a place where behavior such as this is deemed inappropriate (such as a church service or public location), a parent or adult steps in and scolds you. Confused by this reaction, you begin to learn that being your authentic self will get you in trouble and so you begin to shut down that part of yourself. You shove that joyful part of yourself to the side, questioning:
“If I’m not supposed to be who I am naturally and authentically, then who am I supposed to be being? Who am I supposed to be, if I’m not supposed to be me?”
Is your house on fire? I agree with Greta Thunberg when she said,
"I want you to act as if your house is on fire, because it is."
Climate change is just one issue. How are we going to overcome all the epic challenges when it looks like everything is on fire!
James “Gus” Speth - Author of 7 books and a champion of fundamental systemic change with The Next System Project offers some insights,
“I used to think that top environmental problems were biodiversity loss, ecosystem collapse and climate change. I thought that thirty years of good science could address these problems. I was wrong. The top environmental problems are selfishness, greed and apathy, and to deal with these we need a cultural and spiritual transformation. And we scientists don’t know how to do that.”
I believe complicated problems do not require complicated solutions.
Every problem holds the answer to its solution.
Within scientific circles, high carbon dioxide levels are accepted as significantly contributing to climate change. While scientist struggle to develop carbon capture technology, a perfect technology already exists, it is called a TREE.
Planting a tree is a simple solution you can do today to improve our environment. The Nature Conservancy's Plant a Billion Trees campaign is one coordinated effort toward a global goal of planting a Trillion Trees.
In August 2017 I was back in the Amazon rain forest on a Pachamama Alliance trip, I was paddling a two-person kayak up the Capahuari River near the Kapawi Lodge with a woman who went simply by the name “Z”.
She broke the silence. “There’s something swimming in the river.”
“Probably that tapir some of the Achuar saw near here yesterday.”
Z turned to me. “No,” she whispered. “It’s a jaguar!”
I froze, my paddle suspended above the kayak. My heart raced. Slowly, cautiously, I lowered the paddle to rest on the kayak and leaned forward to peer around her.
A band of white water cut across the river, the wake of something swimming. I raised a hand to shade my eyes and followed the white water. Then I saw it: the black-spotted tawny-colored head and shoulders of a full-grown jaguar, just yards ahead of us, swimming to the river bank. Our momentum was taking us rapidly toward it. I grabbed the paddle and stopped the canoe’s forward motion.
Speechless, we sat there, still, quiet, watching.
Without breaking its rhythm, the jaguar turned and looked at us; then it continued to the shore, climbed out of the water, shook itself, gave us another glance, bounded up the embankment, and disappeared into the tangle of foliage.
Take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Just breathe. Those three phrases are ones we’ve all heard before throughout our lives, and with good reason. Breathing is not just the way take in oxygen to keep living, it is also one of the most powerful tools we have for dealing with negative energy. However, there’s a big difference between the negative energy we experience throughout our day and deep-seated emotional or psychological trauma.
How does a person get traumatized?
Trauma can occur from any number of things that we experience throughout our lives. According to teachtrauma.com, the most common types of trauma are the following:
- Child Maltreatment/Neglect
- Domestic Violence
- War Related Trauma
- Medical Trauma
- Traumatic Loss
- Natural Disasters
- Sexual Assault.
There are some basic symptoms of trauma that you may be able to notice. People who have experienced trauma may appear shaken or disoriented, and may not respond to conversation in a normal way. They may also appear withdrawn or not fully present in the moment, even when speaking.
It's painful and natural as human beings to want to get revenge to pay them back, to show them, to prove to them, to crush them.
But realize, when someone does something negative to you, when someone trespasses against you, to simply return the same energy is to simply bring yourself down to that level and nothing ever gets truly resolved by going down to that level.
Not only do you pull yourself down to that level, you keep yourself stuck.
It may sound strange and improbable, but this short article explains how it’s possible to actually change your past, and let go of any painful experience that wants to haunt you. The secret lies in awakening a little-known skill that every person is given at birth, but that few ever realize they have: the ability to start life over any time we choose.
It’s true: today is the first day of our life; but this truth is only of use to us if we know how to turn its power into something practical that can free us from the painful regrets and disappointments carried over from our past.
It may seem at first like starting life over every moment is a daunting and impossible task, but there is a simple method of bringing this power within our ready grasp. Here’s how we get started winning our new life: we must learn to allow every movement in our life – every unwanted memory, every emotion, every thought, and every relationship we have with whatever moves through us – to have its own life.
It’s time to crack your money codes.
Have you ever felt unworthy or unwanted, or experienced feelings of depression, sadness or anxiety?
These codes easily have us playing dangerous games that often result in things like unfulfilled relationships, depression and mindless addiction.
And when these ego mind codes or feelings occur, your confidence goes out the door, replaced by feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem. The result is suffering on every level. The body, mind and soul shatter when you lose connection to the peace and trust codes that facilitate forgiveness.
No matter how badly you currently feel about yourself, you can heal your shame and feel excited about your life.
“I have no value.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t like myself.”
“If they really knew me, they wouldn’t like me.”
“I don’t deserve to be loved by God.”
“I’m not important.”
“My inner child doesn’t deserve to be loved by me.”
I hear this theme over and over from my clients. Shame is a major issue for many people.
Shame comes from two different places:
- Others shaming us
- Shaming ourselves.
Shame from Others
As a child, Torre was abused in many ways by her father. Her father used to tell her that she was ugly, that she shouldn’t have been born, that she was garbage. He would hit her with a belt with no provocation, and often touched her inappropriately. Of course, she grew up believing that she had no value.
Are you afraid of some condition in your life? Here’s a life-transforming secret: that seemingly scary condition, whatever it may be, is not the problem. It is your reaction that is fearful. This is why if you will become conscious of your condition instead of afraid of it, you will change forever your relationship with fear.
It is only within this special kind of inner-relationship that there is real safety, because now you are interacting with fear in an entirely new way. You are no longer letting it dictate to you how to act or what to do. Instead, you are aware of the fear. You are learning to quietly observe and study it. And, each day as you practice this, you discover something new about the strange and shaky nature of your own fearful reactions. They begin to lose their power over you.
Why? Because you are at last seeing these reactions for what they have always been: unintelligent mechanical forces. You are slowly becoming stronger than they are because by seeing them as they are—not as they would have you see them—you have helped yourself to climb above and outside of their influence. This self-insight is the difference between trembling through your life and being in command of it.
“Anthropologists and archeologists have confirmed what Mayan legends and prophecies have long told us.” The Mayan shaman stands near the Great Jaguar Pyramid in Tikal, Guatemala, and speaks to our group.
“The Maya had lived on these lands for nearly three millennia,” the shaman continues. “They excelled in agriculture, pottery-making, hieroglyph writing, and mathematics, and devised calendars that are considered more accurate than our modern-day ones. As you can see. . .” He spreads his arms to the pyramids and temples surrounding us, “they had amazing architects, artists, and engineers. And also, extremely hierarchical male societies, with kings who controlled about 50 huge city-states. The farmers and artisans who lived outside the cities were expected to provide large portions of their produce and products to the royal and priest classes inside the cities, while the latter, through their rituals and prayers, would bring rain and abundant crops. This type of colonialism reigned for hundreds of years. However, in the end, the proliferation of the cities created crises that now seem harbingers of what we today are experiencing globally. The draining of the swamps and the deforestation required to build the great plazas, pyramids, and temples caused a radical loss in rainfall. The climate change that resulted could no longer support the agriculture required to feed the large populations. Around 900 AD that once-great civilization ended. The people abandoned their homes and migrated to the highlands. Since the royalty and priests could no longer survive in their cities, they too fled. The cities eventually were taken over by nature. They lay hidden as tree-covered hills for centuries.”
Many people find it hard to move on when they lose a spouse or a partner. While some feel guilty, others think they’re cheating on the person who has passed. And then there are others who say they don’t deserve to be happy and choose to go through the rest of their life alone.
Those on the Other-Side don’t want us to linger in pain or be alone. They know that as humans, we need to touch and to be touched, to hold and be held, and above all that, we’re meant to love and to be loved. There’s never any judgment from them when it comes to affairs of the heart. When you feel you cannot get out of bed because of your sadness, it is them who gently push you forward.
To cope with the loss of your life partner, here’s the best advice I can give you: Your loved ones wouldn’t want you to suffer alone, so I recommend that you talk to someone about your feelings, be it a close friend or a professional therapist. It doesn’t help if you shut yourself off from those who were part of your life when you were a couple.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the concept of entitlement -- that feeling so many of us have that we are owed something, that we have rights or deserve something to be the way we think it should be. Think of the times you have thought or had someone say to you:
- “I deserve to be treated a certain way, given certain things, or taken care of in a particular manner, because I am your child, parent, or friend.”
- “You owe me because I was there for you.”
- “The Universe should reward or repay me because I am a ‘good person.’”
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