Dismantle the Wall Around Your Heart

Dismantle the Wall Around Your Heart - Dr. Bradley Nelsen

Tearing down a Heart-Wall can make a big difference in your ability to experience love, for Valentine’s Day and the rest of your life



Valentine’s Day is a time for celebrating love, but what if you have lost someone you love? Heartbreak is not just an expression for the strong emotions we feel surrounding loss. It is a very real condition that can damage your health and even lead to premature death.

You may have heard about a study from the UK a few years ago that found that bereavement doubles a person’s chances of dying of a heart attack or stroke. You can probably remember a time in your life when you thought your heart was going to break. That sensation may have felt like an elephant was sitting on your chest, or that you couldn’t breathe. These are common physical sensations that result when your heart — the core of your being — is suffering from a deep trauma.

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: It Only Gets More Real

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In the way that erosion makes every face in nature more elemental, everything we go through only makes us more real. Once we give up our masks and excuses, we are humbled to accept the tenderness of having nothing between us and this thing we call life. It is this fragile, resilient state that lets us breathe more deeply, that lets us hear what love has to say, that lets us experience Oneness over the idea of Oneness. The more real we become, the more we experience love over the dream of love. Until Love and Oneness emanate in the coffee steaming as I wait for my wife to come out of the shower while our dog is belly up, her tail wagging at the supreme joy of absolutely nothing. It is then that I admit that I am hopelessly simple, gratefully simple, eager for the moment at hand to stay unadorned and free of veils. There is no five-year plan or bucket list or dream of living in another country. There is only breathing in the country of this moment where everything touches everything else. And though tomorrow, I will drift or fall away from this bareness of being, I remain devoted to all the things, pleasant and harsh, that help me return.

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