“No matter what you are going through, you are not alone.”
On this episode of SoulTalk, I share exclusive tips on how to deal with feelings of loneliness. Regardless of who you are or where you are in life, we've all felt loneliness. In this episode, I share simple ways to ease the feelings of loneliness through practicing daily gratitude and appreciation for what you have and what the Earth has given you.
Listen and learn how to expand your sense of feeling interconnected with all of life and existence, thus deepening your feeling of Oneness with all life on this planet. With these take aways, you will feel love for yourself and for those around you.
Is something missing in your life; maybe you are constantly feeling the pull to search for something more? This feeling can range from a vague feeling like you misplaced something, to a very strong feeling of being abandoned. If this resonates, keep reading and discover how to reclaim the lost and unloved pieces of you.
Over a decade ago, I booked a private tour that shared sacred spots on the island of Kauai. It was really interesting. I could feel the powerful energy of the ceremonial stones. The same woman offered a private session to reclaim pieces of my fragmented soul.
Uncertainty abounds in today’s world – and the way you cope with it influences your mental health. Events like pandemics, wars, and pending economic and climate catastrophes can leave you feeling powerless.
We have all felt moments of loneliness in life.
That sense of feeling disconnected to yourself, those around you and nature. It’s painful to feel that you are the only one going through your experience, or that no one understands your pain.
The truth is that you are not alone. There are millions of people around the world going through what you are and feeling similar emotions this very second. There are billions of people in the past that have as well.
We may seem different on the surface in terms of religion, skin color, political beliefs, but at our core we all share the same humanity, the same desires, the same fear, concerns and pain.
We all want to love and be loved.
When stuck in the feeling of loneliness, take a look and see if you are obsessing about yourself. This creates a sense of feeling disconnected from all those around you.
The loneliness may also be a signal about certain things in your life that aren’t working which you need to pay attention to and change.
What is it that you might need to change?
How often have you become irritated or angry, or given yourself up, or started to argue or debate, teach or explain, or withdrew when someone was treating you badly - ordering you around, judging you, blaming you, or dumping their complaints or negativity on you? How often have you behaved in any of these protective, controlling ways when someone is unknowingly interrupting you when you are trying to focus on something or get something done? How do you end up feeling when you behave in any of these ways?
The chances are you end up feeling angry, hurt, anxious, depressed, or numbed out. It is easy to believe that these feelings are coming from the other person's behavior toward you, but this is not the case. Your unhappy feelings are coming from not taking loving care of yourself.
Madison consulted with me because she was feeling depressed. She and Andrew had been married for 12 years. She loved Andrew and felt that they had a deep soul connection. Yet she was often unhappy around him.
Often, when I ask my clients what they feel, it’s obvious to me that they are confused between loneliness and aloneness.
Aloneness is an inner feeling of being all alone in the universe, and feeling empty inside. Aloneness indicates that there is a lack of love inside. But, contrary to what most people assume, it’s not another’s love that’s missing – it’s your love that’s missing.
The feelings of aloneness and emptiness are the result of emotional self-abandonment – of ignoring your feelings, judging yourself, using addictions to numb your feelings, and of making others responsible for you feeling loved, safe, and worthy. When you emotionally reject and abandon yourself, your feeling self – your inner child – feels alone and empty inside. When you emotionally abandon yourself, your heart closes and you can’t feel the love and comfort of your higher guidance, which leads to feeling alone in the universe. This is a very sad way to live, yet this is how many people live.
We all feel sad, lonely or depressed from time to time in our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one or a disappointment we’re facing, feeling a heaviness at life for a period of time is natural. When that heaviness and lack of energy becomes our constant state of living however, we may be experiencing a more serious form of depression.
If you feel this constant state of depression in your life, you are not alone. In fact, Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults. (Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun; 62(6): 617-27).
When you look at depression through the lens of Energy Medicine, there are many techniques you can use to help alleviate the symptoms of depression and regain a sense of vitality and joy in your life once again.
Depression is Stuck Energy
Quantum science teaches that everything in all of creation is energy – including you. In it’s natural, unobstructed state, energy is meant to be constantly moving, especially inside the human system. However, we as humans, have the ability to shut down that energy flow when we worry, get angry or experience other undesired emotions.
The word “path” has been adopted by people who are on an inner spiritual journey, but it has much wider implications. Everyone is on a path, even if they don’t always realize it.
There are two basic paths we take through life: thinking and feeling. To think your way through life appeals to rationalists, but they are fooling themselves. Feeling is always a part of every experience, every decision, and every life choice. Here are some examples of how the mixture of thought and feeling operates, often to our confusions.
- Think of a food you hate (an American President made headlines by hating broccoli). See yourself putting a bite of this food in your mouth. It could be snails, a raw oyster, or boiled cabbage. Try to taste it as if you loved it instead. You can’t, because the taste is cemented with your feeling about it.
- Put yourself in the place of a homeless person living with small children on the street. Visualize the situation; no doubt you’ve observed something similar in real life. Imagine that a stranger walks up to you and hands you $1,000 in cash. You thank him profusely, but then he laughs scornfully and snatches the money back. Can you see the situation without any emotion? This is a dramatic example of how everything we see comes with an interpretation at the level of feeling.
The biggest epidemic in the world today is loneliness. That feeling of being unloved, unloveable, alone…
Technology has created a world that continues to become more connected... more crowded...
and yet increasingly lonely for so many.
This persistent feeling is not just emotionally painful, it can damage your relationships, career and even your health. Lonely people tend to sleep poorly, experience depression and anxiety and have reduced immune and cardiovascular health.
Research also tells us that chronic loneliness makes you increasingly sensitive to rejection and hostility. In uncertain social and work related situations, lonely people immediately think the worst.
Lonely people also pay more attention to negative social information like disagreements or criticism. They tend to remember more of the negative things that happen and fewer positive things.
Have you lit your sexual fire? Are you feeling alive, vibrant, and TURNED ON in your life?
Your sexuality is vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose. Awakening to the sacredness and creative potential of our sexuality is the next phase of our spiritual evolution on the planet.
In my recent article “Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020,” I shared that your sexuality boosts your health, creativity, intuition, self-love, confidence, divine connection, worthiness, money flow, abundance, happiness, fulfillment and romance. Embracing your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020 (yes, even in the midst of a pandemic).
Now let’s explore what your sexual fire is and how you can light it.
"The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are." -Rumi
I've Been Thinking...
The other morning, I was sitting on my porch drinking a cup of coffee when all of a sudden, a feeling swept over me. It was one that took me by surprise. I closed my eyes so I could sit with it for a while and really feel it. Then I decided to describe the feeling out loud so I would always remember it.
“I’m doing great,” I said to myself looking around to no one in particular. “I’m actually happy. I’m content. Life is peaceful, life is good.”
“Holy moly!” I thought as I sat there smiling. “I’m happy, I’m good.” I could feel myself smile.
“To be awake is to be alive.” — Henry David Thoreau
There are some days when thinking gives way to feeling. This is one of those days for me.
Today, I am getting out of my head and into my heart. Why? Because my heart feels full. I feel grateful. I feel hopeful. I feel blessed.
This morning, I wanted to share with you a poem I recently wrote called “Blessed.” It’s called that because it’s how I’ve been feeling.
Now, I haven’t always felt this way. Even when people told me I was blessed, I didn’t always feel it, even though I knew intellectually that I was lucky and fortunate in my life. I’ve had to feel my way into feeling blessed. It’s taken time. It’s taken practice. I had to get there on my own.
So, if you woke up this morning feeling down — or feeling anything but blessed — trust me, I get it. I know it can be hard to feel blessed if you’re working paycheck to paycheck, if you’re fighting to put food on the table, if you’re getting over a break-up, if you’re battling a sickness, etc. Life can throw a lot of things our way that make us feel anything but blessed. I know some people in the Midwest may not be feeling blessed after the tornadoes and floods, but I hope they have had moments where a total stranger’s generosity has made them feel blessed in recent days.
I’ve learned along the way that feelings come and go. One thing that’s always helped me when I’ve woken up feeling down about life is to put my hand over my heart, take several deep breaths, and honor the feeling. Then, I ask it to leave.
So today, my wish for you is that you can take a step away from thinking and step into feeling. Ease your way into it. Feel your way into feeling blessed. I share my poem in hopes that it will help you get there.
Looking for ourselves in the eyes of others throws us behind the walls of a psychic prison. The door slams shut each time we find ourselves feeling good about ourselves simply because someone has given us a needed nod of approval. Let's investigate this strange sequence of psychological events that leaves us in a prison of our own making.
Whenever someone approves of us, it gives us a feeling we like. These silent emotions tell us that we're good, wanted, or in some way important. But the real pleasure in these sensations is that it secretly serves to strengthen the way we want to feel about ourselves, that we're worth being cared about, and that our existence has meaning.
If these positive emotions were the true end of a happy story, there wouldn't be a problem. But they're never the end. At the same satisfying moment of our being unconsciously identified with this feeling of being approved, something else is happening to us deep within our own uninvestigated nature.
The path of awakening is not one where we are eternally feeling good. Along it, it is inevitable that we move through moments and periods of not feeling good at all. As unsettling and disconcerting as this may be ultimately, as the spiritual beings that we are, we have not come here to feel eternally good but to get eternally free.
The spiritual path is all about releasing and letting go of that which no longer serves us
Awakening is not about adding anything onto us. It is not really about learning anything new either. But it is about releasing, letting go and unlearning. Inherently, we already are all that we will ever be. We already are as awakened as we will ever be. We already are as spiritual as we will ever be. The Divine is already inherently within us, and nothing can ever be added onto it to make it more or bigger.
However as we incarnate onto this planet we learn to create stories and fantasies about reality. Some are of our own making. Some we have inherited from the world. From our parents, relatives, guardians, society, culture. These oftentimes are stories that keep us small and limited.
The ego's mantra is: I am not enough and there is not enough. And so, most of the stories we buy into, arise from that perception. It is a limited perception keeping the inherent Divine Light from shining brightly.