Getting Over A Toxic Relationship Using Polyvagal Theory

Getting Over A Toxic Relationship Using Polyvagal Theory

Toxic relationships create ripples throughout our mind and our body. In a toxic relationship, our mind reads cues and our body responds in ways that are effective coping mechanisms for that relationship. However, these responses to social cues are often not effective or helpful in a new relationship or when trying to heal from a dysfunctional and toxic partner.

Our body responses, emotional regulation, and even the fear response to social cues are controlled by the vagal nerve. Depending on our experiences and the specific situation, we may have different responses than others around us, which is important to understand in healing after the trauma of experiencing a toxic relationship.

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Is Your Mind on Overdrive?

Is Your Mind on Overdrive?

The mind can be a useful assistant, helping you to organize your life and complete tasks. It can also be a nag, constantly bothering you with worries and reminders. If not balanced with the calming energy of the heart or the breath, the mind can run amuck, always on high alert, looking for lists to make and problems to solve. Caffeine, in the form of coffee or tea, can exacerbate this. Meditation and deep slow breathing are helpful for slowing the mind down. This takes consistent practice, however. Meditators sometimes struggle to control their thinking instead of allowing thoughts to just pass through and disappear into emptiness. The mind can rebel by frantically running a commentary something like this: “What are you doing?! Stand up! Close the window. Take your vitamins. Make a grocery list. Do the laundry. Don’t just sit there!” Often lists will start forming in your head, and the mind will urge you to write them down immediately lest you forget. It requires an ongoing commitment to peace in order to relax your mind into accepting slow, quiet breathing and empty mental space. Being instead of doing.

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Refection: ART LESSON

Mark Nepo's Weekly Refection: ART LESSON

The mind moves like a pencil.
The heart moves like a brush.

While the mind can draw
exquisite prints, the heart
with its deep bright colors
will ignore the lines.

If you only follow your mind,
you will never go outside the lines.

If you only follow your heart,
what you touch will never
resemble anything.

We must be
a student of both.

For the mind can build
itself a home, but only
the heart can live in it.

Ξ

A Question to Walk With: Describe as aspect of home that your mind has dreamt and built. How are you living in that dream now that it is built. Which do you like more: dreaming what needs to be built or living in the dream once it is built? Why?

This is from my book of poems in progress, The Tone in the Center of the Bell.

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How Wisdom Can Counter Fear

How Wisdom Can Counter Fear -  Deepak Chopra, MD

In anxious times the focus on fear seems constant and yet extremely unhelpful. Neither the body nor the mind can adapt to fear for long stretches of time without causing bad effects. If you feel fearful and you want to feel differently, what path should you take? 

People tend to be unsuccessful at finding a way out of anxiety.  That’s because the two most common responses to anxiety are denial and distraction. By ignoring your anxiety or doing something that takes your mind off it, you might find temporary relief. But is there something more permanent and effective? 

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The Creator Of Our Reality

The Creator Of Our Reality - Renee Singh
The infinite wisdom that lies within our subconscious mind is our infinite power.

This is the Creator of our Reality. The deep truths of the world lie hidden deep within our subconscious. We need to align within ourselves to arrive at our ultimate truth, to create our ultimate reality.
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The Four Conditions of Happiness

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The New Year is a good time to ask, how do you move from a life of endless problems to a life of endless possibilities? The answer is, learn to cultivate the four conditions of happiness: clear eyes, a quiet mind, a sense of beauty, and an open heart.

The best way to get started up this royal road to inner riches begins with a simple idea. Don't try to be good. Just prefer the good; then, do the best you can to act the good. Want what is true in the moment more than you want the familiarity of false ideas that betray. And how do you make this choice?

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Listening To The Messages of Your Intuition or Sixth Sense

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If you meet someone new and suddenly feel that they are not trustworthy or mean well towards others. This would be an example of your sixth sense giving you information regarding them before any other senses can pick up on it.  

Other examples are if you suddenly become aware of the danger around yourself without knowing where it's coming from. when there's a feeling in the pit of your stomach, or maybe it's just an overwhelming thought about someone who has been on your mind lately. 

These feelings can come from different sources, but they all have in common that they should always be taken into consideration. Another type of message your intuition may send you is through dreams and premonitions; this can happen while sleeping or even during the day when you're wide awake. Your gut will tell you if these things are essential, so don't ignore them. They all mean something for a reason, whether it be good or bad news.

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Get Yourself a Pocketful of Miracles

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I’ve always felt a special bond with Dr. Joan Borysenko. I remember watching her on PBS and learning about her groundbreaking work on how our mind and body are connected and how the power of our mind can greatly improve our health. I was thrilled when I got to see Joan live on stage back then at the old Harvard Theater in Cambridge.

Little did I know that years later, I’d be fortunate enough to share the stage with Joan at many conventions and events during our days at Hay House. We’ve done so many shows together, I feel like we’ve become true soul friends!

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Your super power – find gratitude for your mind when it’s simply not sure

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Pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Am I regularly allowing love to be bigger in my life? Am I allowing my own inner voice to matter more? Am I migrating toward or manifesting the deep desires I dream of?”

If you answer yes (or even consider a yes), your mind is likely starting to get afraid. It gets afraid because when you say “yes,” you are recognizing more of your bigness. When you see from a larger, bird's eye perspective, the mind gets nervous. 

What I'd love for you to know is, when your mind gets nervous, it's a good sign. This is a quantum flip that can change your life. 

During this season of gratitude and beyond, I invite you to make a quantum flip and be grateful for your mind when it gets nervous

When the mind senses there's something more manifesting and “I'm not in control anymore,” it gets nervous. This “something” is more of you, the Soulful Self, embodying.

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Choose to Remember the Light in You

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Have you ever had appear in your mind the image of someone who hurt you, or run a whole mental movie about something that didn't work out, so that in recalling the event you actually relived the sense of loss?  

 How do such a painful images seem to stay in the mind, especially given the fact of how much we struggle to make them go away?

These unwanted images return again and again as they do because something within us keeps recalling them and drawing them to the forefront of our mind.

The the truth is we do not have to share a single moment with the memory of anything that we don't want to, this means there is something in our present nature that actually wants to recall painful past experiences.

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How Do You Make Conscious Financial Decisions?

JulieM10.15
Did you know that your subconscious mind is the size of a beach ball and your conscious mind is the size of a ping pong ball. 
 
The problem is, This is where most of us are making conscious choices on a daily basis from only 5% of our actual brain. 
 
So therefore, when you are responding to the world around you, 95% of that comes from your subconscious mind. 
 
There are subconscious patterns that we repeat over and over again without even realizing it. These patterns can be changed if we learn how to address them head on.
 
So many of us need to address the issues that are going on and playing havoc with us year after year after year. So if you're running around in a circle, not accomplishing the things that you want to and you have no idea why you keep repeating these patterns, well it's time to address that subconscious mind, and start creating Heart and Brain coherence.
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Thank Your Mind

mariaS10.12 Maria Shirver's Sunday Paper
"When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary."  —Fred Rogers

I've Been Thinking...

Today is World Mental Health Day. Before you read further, I'd ask that you take a moment to check in with yourself this morning.

Check in with your mind. Sit with how you feel for a bit and don't judge. Think about all your mind does for you. Think about all it keeps track of for you. If you are like me, you probably drive it too hard. You probably put too much on its plate. You more than likely berate it for not being what you think it should be.

Pause.

The truth is, your mind is extraordinary and uniquely your own. Sure, it may drive you nuts at times (I feel you). You may wish it were different—maybe smarter, quicker, or better at retaining everything you want to remember. Maybe, like me, you wish your mind were less dark. I get that. But remember: your mind is yours and yours alone. Today, my wish is that you honor your mind's beauty. Honor its unique abilities, its perseverance, how extraordinary it is, and all it does for you. 

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Gift of Immersion

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Over the years, I’ve been humbled to discover, time and again, that when I feel I have no more to give—just then, I am asked to give more.

And when I try, deeper gifts come out of me than I knew were there. In these unexpected excavations of my giving, I’ve been introduced to my deeper, foundational self that draws its fortitude and resilience from the Whole of Life.

I have also discovered that, try as we do to labor the mind to solve every circumstance, the mind can only go so far. And so, when stuck, give. For giving cleans all the stuck places and then we can see with new eyes, and perceive with a new mind, and listen with new ears.

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Harness the Subconscious Mind to Create a Desired Reality

reneee9.7.21

We very often hear a voice telling us that life is a miracle. We keep wondering in our own minds how is that statement true, is it actually a reality we need to embrace.  

I would like to say that our every thought is a miracle maker. It is our own subconscious mind that is the creator of our reality. The action is actually happening in our thoughts and the reaction is in our response,  which is actually a response to our subconscious mind. So it is important to think wisely,  and think in terms of the reality we desire to manifest. As our mind will through our subconscious mind create a reality, closest to the mental pattern we are feeding deep within the subconscious mind. 


KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

The most important factor in life is knowing what you want. Our subconscious mind has a storage which is full of desires and wants according to our conscious mind perception, imagination and feelings. It is the conviction of the conscious mind  which is transferred onto the subconscious self.  This converts the idea into a reality. 

USE IMAGINATION
Use your imagination as a perceived reality, visualize a state of freedom. Try finding ways of solving a problem, and impose that way on your subconscious. The subconscious will respond to the thought. 

CHILDLIKE FAITH
Put away your problem solving skills. Just have a belief that whatever you desire will happen. Believe in miracles. Simple thought attracts instant and pure reaction. 

DISCIPLINED IMAGINATION
As it is said in the bible "Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive" To believe is to accept something as true. Imagination is the most powerful faculty you are gifted with, you are absolutely whatsoever you imagine yourself to be. 

INNER GUIDANCE
This is an inner sense of touch. You know when it is a hunch. Trust these vibes, they will prove to you that they are correct. 

BE SURE OF YOURSELF
Doubts and hesitations weaken prayers.  Statements such as "I hope it works" or "I wish I get this" will set a negative tone. We attract vibrations on the frequency of our thoughts, a doubting thought creates a lower frequency. 

LIVE IN COMPLETE CONVICTION
Pass the idea you want created to your subconscious mind from the conscious mind. Give yourself over to its power, then relax with the idea. Through the action and conviction, you will actually impregnate your subconscious mind. This helps kinetic energy to take over and bring it to realization in concrete form. 

Be careful of your thoughts. When desire and imagination  are in conflict, then imagination wins over and produces negative results for you. If you suggest to your mind "I will use my will power to overcome failure," you are actually reinforcing the negative idea. Thinking continuously over the thought could dominate the subconscious, then when you try to alter it in your conscious, it overpowers  the conscious mind, the negative persists and you are not allowed by your mind, to create the desired reality. 

HARMONIOUS UNION
Your prayers are answered when there is no conflict. We cannot imagine opposition. Believe only in the power of creation, you can create what you want by focusing on it completely. By using mental will power you pre-suppose opposition and therefore create it. 

Imagine the reality of fulfilled desire and feel the thrill of accomplishment. 

SLEEPTIME VALUE
This is the best time to penetrate your thoughts into mental space. There is heightened awareness while sleeping and negative thoughts and imagery neutralize your desire. 
When you neutralize and imagine the thrill of the accomplishment,  the subconscious brings the realization of desire. 
Use affirmations to harness the subconscious mind to create a desired reality. 


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Peace Through Your Subconscious Mind

reneeS7.24
I want to you to identify the greatest enemy of the human race, we know there is only one in that category, that is Fear. It is what inhibits people from reaching their true potential, creating apprehensions and making negative inroads into the mind. 

Simply said we can say that fear is the opposite to Love. Where love exists, there can be no fear. 

LAW OF THE MIND
You have to learn to master your own fear. Try and reach a level of calm and ease within. The subconscious mind is amenable to suggestions . It is controlled by suggestions, give it positive ones. 

STILL YOUR MIND AND RELAX
In this situation,  the thoughts of the conscious mind sink into the sub conscious. This is like osmosis, in which fluids separated by a porous membrane, intermingle. As positive thoughts, sink into the subconscious, they grow with their own kind, and you become poised, serene and calm. 
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Your Soul Has the Answer You Need

sunsetflowers

Has your mind been overflowing with questions lately: Will I get the job I want? Am I on the right path? Will my relationship last? Does my loved one who passed have any messages for me? We’re all on a personal crusade looking for answers and we often seek them from other people or the outside world.

I want to let you in on a little secret. You can find all the answers—from your soul!

Our soul is like a computer, constantly absorbing information from our experiences. Every detail is time stamped and logged as though it’s a memory imprinted on the soul. Each and every one of us has a unique soul with our own personal histories, our own values of what’s right or wrong and most important, our own unique way of interpreting and communicating this information. It’s the combination of all these components that makes us who we are.

If you’re looking for answers, look within and start tapping in to this vast database of memories, information and life experiences. Your soul is your inner compass to keep you on track.

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How to Use the Monkey Mind to Build Circuits

meditation

Have you tried to meditate to calm the mind and instead, felt even more frustrated as thoughts whirled round and round…the desired stillness not even a glimmer on the distant horizon?

Maybe you’ve never meditated or even desired to meditate, but are interested in the idea of stilling the mind.  

When we are not identified as the thinking mind, we experience less pain. I am committed to providing sacred space for everyone to discover the distinctions between their true Essential Self and the false self—the thinking mind—that often runs our lives. 

When we get caught in life’s circumstances and it feels challenging to access that subtle frequency, that still, sacred space, the question often arises, “How do I get not identified as the mind?”

Whether through guided meditations, The Energy Codes® coursework, or BodyAwake® Yoga, when we dial into and experience the subtle frequency in and around our physical body, the thickness of the space around us becomes palpable. This is sacred space. It’s the more of who you are.

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The Miraculous Power of the Subconscious Mind

powerofmind
Time and again I write on the subject of stress and of the healing miraculous power of the subconscious mind. We all have questions about life and it's purpose,  specially during these trying times when life seems so futile. There are great fundamental truths of the mind which need to be explored, explained and accepted. 

The subconscious mind is the Miracle worker and learning to accept it's power is the most important lesson we can learn in our lives. It can cure you of your sickness, make you strong, open the prison door of fear and give you entry into a glorious life. 

TRUST THE POWER
In times when your inner strength seems to need rejuvenating along with the world around you,  you need to realize that it is your inner strength that is actually guiding your life. Learning to trust the inner power is what keeps our lives in adequate balance. 

PRAY EFFECTIVELY
We need to do what some people would call scientific prayers. This is to tap the infinite power within you. Harmonious interaction of conscious and subconscious mind is essential.  

USE HIDDEN INSPIRATION FROM WITHIN
There is a fountain of wisdom from within,  this is what keeps inspiration levels going. Life treats us in many ways, and mostly we will only remember the times we feel injured, through life's many lessons. 
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Psychological Immunity: An Essential Part Of Wellness Today

yoga By Deepak Chopra™ MD and Dr. David Frawley (Vamadeva Shastri)

We all know the importance of physical immunity, the body’s ability to resist disease and ward off invaders. But what is psychological immunity? It is the ability of the mind to resist disease, ward off emotional toxins, and endure the pendulum swing of gain and loss, joy and sorrow, attraction and repulsion. If your psychological immunity is strong, you also have mental stamina, which is associated with steady concentration and having no memory loss with age.

Medicine has been slow to recognize that non-physical immunity exists.  The focus has been on the physical pathogens like bacteria and viruses that abound in the external world. But over a century ago Freud wrote about the “psychopathology of everyday life,” from which everyone needs protecting. Mental pathogens are invisible but potent, beginning with the universal experience of negative emotions like fear, anger, hatred, greed, and jealousy.

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Leave the Red Zone

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Are you stressed or upset?

The Practice:
Leave the Red Zone.

Why?

There I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not freaked out, not running from an attacker, not suffering a grievous loss, my own troubles tiny in comparison to those of so many others – but still, the needle on my personal stress-o-meter was pegged in the Red Zone.

Then that quiet background knowing in all of us nudged me to cool down, dial back, de-frazzle, take a breath, exhale slowly, repeat, start getting a sense of center, exhale again, slow the thoughts down, pick one thought of alrightness or goodness and stay with it, exhaling worry about the future, coming into this moment, just sensations, calming, mind getting clearer, focusing on what I’ll do this day and knowing that’s all I can do, the body sense of settling down yet again sinking in to make it one bit easier to settle down the next time. Leaving the Red Zone, not all the way to Green, more like Yellow, but no longer even Orange. Whew.

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