If you sometimes get stuck in your wounded self and can’t see how to get back into your loving adult, here are some ideas that may help you.
Sometimes, when we get stuck in our wounded self, it is hard to wind our way out of it. I’ve noticed what I do when I’m happy and my frequency is high, as opposed to when my frequency feels low.
It is helpful to me to keep a list of ways I’ve learned move myself from closed to open.
Here are some of the ways I’ve found work for me…
The subtlety of these choices is that I need to be consciously doing these things because it is loving for me to do them, rather than as a form of control. It’s possible for your wounded self to choose these same behaviors as a way to avoid responsibility for your feelings and avoid learning from your pain. When that is the intent, then these choices will not raise your frequency, which means you will not move out of your wounded self. So please be honest with yourself!
I can raise my frequency by:
It’s all about letting go of control, and choosing love, moment by moment…
…and doing all this for the sake of love itself rather than as a form of control. It’s about making love my highest priority, each moment, rather than protecting against getting hurt.
We all need to be vigilant regarding raising our frequency back up when we get triggered into our wounded self.
It’s like our wounded self takes over as soon as something bad happens unless we get right back into thinking or doing something that raises our frequency – like something on the first list.
I find that if I take measures to raise my frequency right away, just as soon as I can feel it go low, it is much easier to go back to operating as my loving adult. If you let too much time pass, it’s easy to sink further and further into your wounded self, making it much harder to come out of the rabbit hole.
Once I‘m back in my loving adult, then I can do an Inner Bonding process, to understand more about what triggered me into my wounded self.
Keeping my frequency high and staying in my loving adult is a moment-by-moment choice.
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