How to Rise Above Any Betrayal


Have you ever suffered from a betrayal? Who hasn’t! Fortunately, you can gain a new understanding of yourself that will both raise your understanding of others, and take the sting out others’ betrayal of you.

To get started, we need the following brief explanation of the inner workings of our personality. Because of our experiences in life, over time different “selves” develop in us. We’re not aware of them. In fact we think we always respond to events as a single, consistent person. But these conditioned selves live within the structure of our personality, and when we experience new situations, they emerge to respond to them. That’s why we might be confident and talkative among one group of people, and shy and quiet with another group. Each environment calls up a different self that’s been waiting within us, and that’s the self that responds. I call this self that responds the TPIC – the Temporary Person in Charge. It’s the aspect of us that takes charge in the moment. It’s not who we really are; it’s just a temporary self that the moment called out.

With each new occurrence in our lives, the conditioned nature unconsciously and automatically responds by calling up a TPIC to interpret and deal with this event. It could be said that in each of these moments the TPIC sheds its light of understanding on the event. Even a small amount of honest self-reflection reveals these inner workings. For instance, when the false nature feels itself threatened or thwarted, an aggressive or negative TPIC comes forward, seeing everything in a fearful, dark light. This self then supports its view by gathering additional thoughts about “the event.” These thoughts might relive the past that led up to the event, or anticipate possible future consequences. As each potential problem grows in magnitude as a result of our unconscious attention to it, our negative emotional response grows stronger. Each and all of these subsequent negativities are nothing more than the shadows cast by the first TPIC’s false light. However, unaware of their real cause, we fear the pictures they paint in the same way as the child fears the shadows projected on a wall at night by the lights of a passing car. Fortunately, just as a strong overhead light banishes shadows from a physical wall, the light of Truth has the power to banish all inner shadows and the suffering which, in turn, shadows them.

An example will explain. Perhaps a woman discovers that she has been betrayed by a friend. One TPIC that pops up to deal with this situation is outraged. It builds a strong case against the betrayer and revels in scenes of revenge. In no time it gives way to another TPIC that feels hurt, bemoaning its fate by “the fact” that no one can be trusted. Piece by piece it paints a picture of a dark, lonely world where everyone is a potential enemy. Or perhaps still a third TPIC remembers happy scenes of their past friendship, and despairs over their loss. No doubt the pain this woman experiences in the hands of each of these TPICs is genuine; but the cause, in each case, is only a shadow on the wall! Let’s see how this can be true.

Suppose this woman has been working with the life-healing principles we’re in the process of learning. Within this individual a developing higher awareness no longer just unconsciously accepts these changeable TPICs and embraces their conclusions. Instead, she chooses in favor of wanting to see the truth of her situation, a view that reveals to her the fact that the host of vicious voices she hears in her head are themselves the pain of the betrayal she’s feeling. Proceeding from this new understanding of herself she sees that while her friend’s betrayal proves she must reevaluate their relationship, the act of someone having betrayed her is not the source of her stress. She sees clearly that both the real problem she faces and its punishment are what they are because of her unconscious fear of being betrayed by anyone. She also sees that the reason she so fears this betrayal is because, up until this point, she had unconsciously believed that other people’s opinions of her had the power to build or diminish her. Now, she knows this idea, and any part of herself that promotes it, is the only betrayer – the invisible enemy inside of herself. Even more importantly, she now knows that the false self in her that fears betrayal is no more real than the weak self that popped up in her former friend causing her to commit the betrayal. She begins to understand that the whole suffering scene is part of the confused world of TPICs that wander through life, hurting and being hurt. And in proportion to her new understanding also grows within her the wish to no longer live in their troubled world.

She may not know it yet, but this wish itself belongs to another part of herself that is already connected to something timeless and all powerful; a True Self that can help her use the betrayals of this world as a springboard to leap above and beyond them to a higher world where fear simply doesn’t exist. Yes, there is a way out of painful reactions, and a Self within you that knows the way.


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