The Higher Self is our connection to Divinity – to God, Spirit, Source, the Universe, or whatever you choose to call it.
You can think of the Higher Self as your soul – the Divine part that chooses us and chooses to experience life through us. Through our personalities. This higher consciousness is the part of us that doesn’t fall prey to fear, scarcity, comparison, othering – or any of the things that cut us off from one another. The Higher Self recognizes that all life is sacred.
Although this Higher Self is the true essence of who we are as Spiritual beings, over time and through our life experience, another part of us forms as well – the smaller self or the ego.
The ego or the small self tends to think it’s running the show, although it really isn’t at all. This part of us sees the world through a lens of limited or false stories about reality. Things we’ve decided are true about ourselves or the world through our conditioning and the beliefs that have been passed down to us from our ancestors. Through these stories, we create an idea of our “self,” an identity we attach to.
This part of the self is necessary to our quality of uniqueness, but can also tend to trip us up. It’s a very triggered view of the world that is shaped and formed and also influenced through our wounding. And it has very little to do with our true, Divine self.
When you’re coming from a place of woundedness and you need to heal, it’s very hard to connect to your higher self or to find Spiritual growth.
In order to connect with your Higher Self, you absolutely have to figure out how to forgive yourself for past mistakes. As long as you’re coming from a place of shaming and judging yourself – whether it’s for your blatant mess ups, or for things you’ve been conditioned to think are true about you and others– you won’t be able to see beyond that lens of the small self.
Before you can learn how to practice self-love and get connected to your Divine Self, you have to forgive yourself. And forgiving yourself requires you to step back and look at your life with radical honesty.
When you look at your life and say, “Okay, here’s what’s true. This is what I’ve done. These are the mistakes I’ve made. This is me.” and you come not from a place of judgment, but from assessment + accountability, then you can start to heal.
This is the process I went through when I was getting clean and sober from drug and alcohol addiction, and it’s the process we all need to go through if we want to connect to our Higher Self. If we want to stop seeing ourselves as unworthy or unloveable.
The Higher Self is always there, but it’s so easy to get fixated on the small self. Unfortunately, our Higher Self isn’t going to tap us on the shoulder and say, “Ummm excuse me, remember I’m here!” That’s our job. We are responsible for remembering and checking in with our Divine self.
When our small self starts trying to run the show, the easiest way to get back on our Spiritual path and connect with the Higher Self is through practicing gratitude.
Gratitude for every single little thing. For our breath. For the fact that we get to be here at all. With gratitude comes humility. And with humility, we can restore the correct order to our way of being.
It’s not that we want to get rid of the ego – we actually need this sense of self and identity. This is what makes us all unique and helps us move through the world. Instead, we just want to bring the small self down to right-size and connect back to our Higher Self.
The ego is all about “Me, me, me – I, I, I.” But the Higher Self is the one that’s connected to something greater. That knows there’s a Divine reason why we’re here.
Gratitude is also a part of forgiving yourself. Because when you can take true accountability for your life and forgive your mistakes, you open up space to be grateful for the lessons and the knowledge that no experience is wasted. And this is the Highest part of you. Your Higher Self wants to be useful and to contribute.
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