For many of us, the fifteen months of lockdown and restricted activities were extremely challenging in every area of life. As life began to open up again in recent months, we experienced hope and optimism that normalcy was on the return.

Most of us started getting out more, giddy to be social and hug our friends and loved ones that we haven’t seen beyond a Zoom screen for so long.

And some of us have even jumped on a plane and done some traveling.

Plans that couldn’t be made previously (whether career or personal) are popping up and you may be feeling like it’s time to dive back in, make a new list of goals and accomplishments, restart your life and go for it.

Except your previous “get up and go” is now stalling, procrastinating, overthinking, worrying or all of the above.

Discover that stress is NOT being caused primarily by people or situations, but by your own thoughts and actions.

We tend to think of stress as something that occurs because of outside events, such as having financial problems, relationship problems, health problems, or from having too much to do. Certainly events such as these are challenging, but they are not the actual cause of stressful feelings.

Stress Is An Important Message

Stress is your inner guidance’s way of letting you know that you are thinking thoughts or taking actions that are out of alignment with what is in your highest good, or that you are trying to control something that you cannot control – such as how people feel about you or the outcome of things. Stress may also be letting you know that something in your body is out of whack – you are on medications or substances that are affecting your brain and causing the stress, or you have eaten foods such as sugar, processed, or pesticide-laden food that is causing brain toxicity, leading to feeling stressed.

When you are operating from your wounded self and trying to control something over which you have no control – such as others’ feelings and the outcome of things – your stress is letting you know that you are hitting your head against a wall and not accepting reality. The opposite of stress – inner peace – is the result of accepting what is, learning to take loving care of ourselves in the face of what is, and practicing gratitude for the big and small blessings on this incredible journey of life – even in the face of all the challenges. And as many of us have experienced, gratitude offers us a stress-free way to manifest what we want, and works far better than trying to control others and outcomes.

During my 35+ year professional career, I have worked in both large and small office settings, at home and on-the-road as a frequent business traveler. I’ve been fortunate that during this time I have also been an active meditator, and have seen firsthand how meditation can be employed during our workday to ease the stress and strain of our jobs, provide clarity and perspective, and altogether make our workplace safer and more comfortable.

As things begin to transition back to normalcy post-COVID, many of us will re-enter our more traditional workplace settings. This could mean anything from being back in crowded offices, to re-engaging in business travel, or even finding ourselves at business lunches, conferences, and work-related social events.

Back in the late 1800s, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his son left a gate open and his three horses ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. 

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horses returned, bringing with them 40 other wild horses. “How wonderful!” the neighbors exclaimed. 

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t,” said the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “This is terrible news,” they said.

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the farmer’s son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated for his good luck. “Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t,” said the farmer.

The moral of this story is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate — only time will reveal what a situation will bring into your life.

When life throws you a curve ball, whether it appears to be “good” or “bad”, the wiser move is to stay as calm as possible. To help you do this, here are three simple tips for you to follow whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation.

How to Stay Calm in the Presence of Stress and Chaos

Social distancing and travel restrictions over the past year have left many people feeling isolated and lonely. One recent survey found 67% of Americans have felt more alone than ever before since the pandemic began.

People have also been coping with increased stress, sadness, worry, and uncertainty. They’ve lost loved ones and jobs to COVID-19, struggled to care for children forced to study from home, and lived in a constant state of vigilance trying to keep themselves and their families well. Almost 4 in 10 Americans say worry and stress in the pandemic has harmed their mental health.

We all hope the pandemic will be over soon, bringing an easing of restrictions and a return to a more normal life. Yet for many people, it may be some time before they’re able to connect with loved ones in the same way they did before.

Fortunately, there are many ways to connect deeply with the people we care about and stay in touch until the time when we can see them in person again. Here are some ideas to try that can help you feel connected and in touch with those you love:

Each April, we acknowledge Stress Awareness Month as an opportunity to reflect on the stress we experience, and the tools we can use to ease it from our lives. One of the simplest, most effective, and most accessible stress reducers at our disposal is mindfulness.

Mindfulness is present moment awareness, without judgment. You might notice sadness, anger, or grief arising, and mindfulness allows you a little distance to feel the feelings. Then, you may choose to focus your attention somewhere else in order to ground yourself in a more wholesome state so that you feel less suffering and more ease. You can direct this mindful awareness toward anything! The key is that you are choosing what to focus your mind on, rather than allowing unbridled thoughts and emotions to take over and dominate your attention.

Did you know that if you spell stressed backwards the word is dessert? Do you remember when you were a child all that mattered was the fun parts and all the chores and grown up stuff could be saved to last? As a matter of fact we had such a look of dread written all over our faces when we were asked to come in from playing with our friends or we had to wait before we could play. So how did we get to be so important that we do not create the time to still play in our lives. Is the issue that we are more important? What if I told you I believe the issue is we have become non-important. We are so unimportant to ourselves that we have made everything and everyone more significant than we are and we have forgotten the value and necessity of desserts. Often in our society today, too many people are doing things and staying busy without fulfillment and joy. Too many people are on automatic pilot without consciously choosing to participate with decisions which are necessary in order to have a life in which in college we would have written home about. We have forgotten that we are here to enjoy our journey and savor each and every day.

We all know the mantra there is good stress and bad stress and what a brilliant way of making another reason as to why we have forgotten to enjoy our lives. Regardless of whether it is good stress or bad stress…it’s still stress and it accelerates the head chatter, the bad eating habits, the lack of sleep and all the other elements which go with stress. We can intellectualize stress and explain what type it is yet our body still feels it and doesn’t understand why we are so out of balance with it. 

Are you stressed or upset?

The Practice:
Leave the Red Zone.

Why?

There I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not freaked out, not running from an attacker, not suffering a grievous loss, my own troubles tiny in comparison to those of so many others – but still, the needle on my personal stress-o-meter was pegged in the Red Zone.

Then that quiet background knowing in all of us nudged me to cool down, dial back, de-frazzle, take a breath, exhale slowly, repeat, start getting a sense of center, exhale again, slow the thoughts down, pick one thought of alrightness or goodness and stay with it, exhaling worry about the future, coming into this moment, just sensations, calming, mind getting clearer, focusing on what I’ll do this day and knowing that’s all I can do, the body sense of settling down yet again sinking in to make it one bit easier to settle down the next time. Leaving the Red Zone, not all the way to Green, more like Yellow, but no longer even Orange. Whew.

Juggling bricks?

The Practice:
Step into the cloud.

Why?

I had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were rolling down a hill toward me and which needed to be handled, lifted, moved, fended off, or broken into pebbles. As soon as I dealt with one thing-y boulder, another one was rolling toward me. Shades of Sisyphus.

Seen as brick-like entities, no wonder these tasks felt heavy, oppressive, burdensome. Yuch!