“Control is the master addiction and trying to control the things that you cannot control only leads to a sense of powerlessness and helplessness.”
Modern life is hectic. We often feel pulled in several directions at the same time and end up feeling overwhelmed and unable to find peace in the chaos of our life. Listen to this episode to learn how to achieve deep, internal peace that will allow you to stay calm in the center of any storm.
When everything feels too much to handle, even with the best laid-out plans you’d feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. Everything seems to come at you all at once and you feel like that there’s not enough of anything to do everything—not enough time, not enough money, not enough support, and most especially not enough you. Desperate for help, perhaps from no one in particular, you ask, “How do I do this? What do I do?”
Most of the time, in the attempt to deal with everything, we spring into action even more. We reassess our plans, downsize our to-do lists, set our priorities, start to say ‘no,’ delegate tasks and manage our time as efficiently as we can. We enroll in a yoga class and start a meditation practice or do whatever we think would help take away the feeling of overwhelm only to realize that they are yet more items to add to our already endless list.
Worst of all, our mind goes on overdrive, stressed not only about what’s going on around us or what we have to do, but by the commentaries going on in our head: I can’t do all of this. I don’t have what it takes. What if I made a mistake? What if I fail? We want to prove to everybody that we can do it all hiding the fact that we are a mental and emotional mess.
Our lives are filled with obligations and must-do’s. To make matters worse, in our materially-driven world, we are pressured to be ‘productive’—which often translates to always doing something (even if it’s not productive). We don’t want to appear lazy or useless so, sometimes, we even make ourselves busy just to appear productive even if busy and productive are, in fact, two different things.
“Honey, are you keeping up your meditation practice?” my husband gently inquired. “This is such a stressful time. I really think you should try to exercise and do some good meditations.”
“Yeah, well, I’m using Insight Timer and doing a meditation for going to sleep every night,” I replied.
“I don’t think that’s enough,” he lovingly suggested.
I’ve been sleeping on the couch at my Dad’s apartment, hanging out with my sisters as we watch and wait for this beloved, elegant, and generous man to transition from this world. Today I realized that I was out of contact lenses. I drove home (a blessed 10 minutes) to replenish my supply.
Once home, I wrestled with the choice to either burrow under my covers in my cozy bed or get my butt on the elliptical trainer machine. Go down, ahh… Go up, ugh… Hearing my husband’s whisper in my head, from miles away out at sea, I stepped up on the elliptical trainer, put Donna Summer radio on my Pandora App, and let my feet follow the beat. I am so fricking out of shape; I stayed between level one and level three, working up a sweat for 20 minutes. Then I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes. After stretching and doing a little yoga, I chose a 20-minute guided meditation from Insight Timer called “Coping with Grief’s Difficult Emotions,” led by Heather Stang.
HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF
It is only when this lack of belief is there, that people start building stress within themselves. If you believe that you are worthy and able, you will have a confident air about you.You basically need to change your attitude from negative to positive, as it is the attitude which will determine your personal power.
INTEND TO BE HAPPY
You need to experience life from a positive perspective. We must keep positive qualities on the top, on a priority basis.
When life falls apart, or threatens to come unglued, it seems almost natural to carry around some desperate, stressed, or depressed emotional state. But why cling to something that makes us ache? The answer is surprising, but evident, once we’re aware of what’s actually taking place within us.
Negative states tell us that we must feel as we do.
In some strange and unseen way, the weight of a dark worry serves as proof that we have “no option” other than to buckle beneath it . . . to fall down, feel betrayed, or prepare for a ﬁght.
Real life can no more act to pull us down than the rising sun can burden the spring ﬂowers that wait to bathe in its nourishing light.
No event, in itself, is the cause of the fear we feel in the moment of its appearance. William Shakespeare, whose insights into the workings of the human mind still remain treasures in spite of passing time, validates this important ﬁnding: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
The same wisdom holds true when it comes to the moments that make up our lives: we meet in events nothing more or less than the wealth of possibilities they present before us.
Since energy understood at a conscious level, allows you to determine, the direction of your destiny, you can allow yourself to be totally convinced of your own power. We need to understand that energy can be moved, and this is only possible through change, which is only possible through changing our thought process. This also goes to tell us that our stress levels are completely under our control and need to be dealt with accordingly.
CREATING A DESTINY
This statement in itself, shows us the way. In order to create a new life, a new destiny, we need to make a concious change within our own selves.
Shed the old and embrace the new.
There is our shifting thought process which is responsible for all that goes on within us. It's totally up to us to be stressed or to remain de stressed.
People are stressed because of taking all their various perspectives into the loop, whether its their lifestyle, careers, personal relationships, and all other aspects , but we need to understand, that all these variants are connected to our inner selves. It is our own personal level of consciousness that responds to it.
This is perhaps , the most important thing, for one's own mental and emotional well being. We can safely say, it is for one's health.
Broadly defined, we can say that Self Confidence means, that quality, which can help you become successful in your own personal and professional life.
It is the most challenging and most imperative quality, for any human being. Having an adequate quantity of self confidence means that you can "Seize the Day".
Stress has, we can say in a broad spectrum, five different forms.
We can actually say that stress is the subjective experience of distress. That is when it is a perceived threat to ones well being, or one's position in society. More so when dealing with it, exceeds one's resources.
We need to decipher for ourselves, how to figure it.
Are you stressed or upset?
Leave the Red Zone.
There I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not freaked out, not running from an attacker, not suffering a grievous loss, my own troubles tiny in comparison to those of so many others – but still, the needle on my personal stress-o-meter was pegged in the Red Zone.
Then that quiet background knowing in all of us nudged me to cool down, dial back, de-frazzle, take a breath, exhale slowly, repeat, start getting a sense of center, exhale again, slow the thoughts down, pick one thought of alrightness or goodness and stay with it, exhaling worry about the future, coming into this moment, just sensations, calming, mind getting clearer, focusing on what I’ll do this day and knowing that’s all I can do, the body sense of settling down yet again sinking in to make it one bit easier to settle down the next time. Leaving the Red Zone, not all the way to Green, more like Yellow, but no longer even Orange. Whew.
We all learned many way of avoiding the existential pain of life when we were growing up, because we could not manage feeling it when we were little. Now, as adults, most people continue to protect in the ways they learned, even though today, adults, we can learn to manage our core pain through Inner Bonding.
Most of our core pain comes from others being unloving to us or to themselves, disconnecting from us and from themselves. We all desire connection with those important to us, and we naturally feel these deeper painful feelings, especially when someone important to us disconnects from us with their own protections – their anger, blame, withdrawal, and so on.
Lately many of my conversations with friends have been around just how stressed out everyone is. More than normal. Anxiety. Fear. Depression. Uncertainty. All seem to be rampant.
My theory is that we all have our “usual” mishigosh to deal with and now, with all the troubles in the world, we’re also feeling the collective angst in the field.
One of the ways I manage myself is with a simple, easy to do, and fast technique known as EFT Tapping. I suggest you give it a try, here’s a link to a free 5 minute video from my genius friend Nick Ortner.
It is important to one's emotional and physical health as well. Whenever we look at a person, well turned up, exuding confidence, a sudden rush of energy and admiration goes through our system.
Do you get anxious thinking about your “to-do” list?
Do you constantly wonder how you’re going to possibly get everything done?
Are you exhausted, feeling it’s your job to take care of everyone and everything?
The other day I was talking to a group of women. Some had high power jobs, some worked part-time, and some not at all. There were single moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, grandmoms, and women whose children are older but are now taking care of their moms. Although their circumstances differed, one of the issues they all had in common was feeling overcommitted and overwhelmed. As they shared how they try to manage their lives, striving to find a sense of calm while juggling their obligations, tasks, and to-do lists, it became apparent that their tendency to multi-task was not only the source of their exhaustion but also a form self-sabotage. They all agreed that something needed to shift but questioned how. Below are three tips for overcoming overcommitment and overwhelm.
Then onwards, once the baby takes birth, the influx of his environment and all the messages he seems to get from around him, the vibration and the energies that he is facing, they all have an extreme influence on his personal stress levels.
I have noticed that in a students life, peer pressure and environmental social structure, are the main determining factors in his personality development.
So it is important that a student as he is growing, becomes aware on how to keep his environment stress free, so that he can be able to perform at his ultimate levels, and can be heading towards a successful career option.
It is imperative for a student to have a stress free life. The youth of every country is responsible for the future of that nation, which of course has a further global impact. Indirectly we can say that, the youth makes up for the fabric of the planet.
I will address the issue from a student's perspective so that he can have an idea of how to deal with a new level of stress, which could seem insurmountable in his new role as a college student.
It is an uphill task for most of us to stay healthy, when we are facing stressors, but that is the real challenge. Stress surrounds us constantly, yet we need to realize and understand, how we can keep ourselves physically and emotionally healthy, despite all the challenges, that the world is throwing towards us.
One is so often bombarded with so many alternatives in terms of stress relievers. Yet, I personally feel that for each one of us, there is this one factor that could calm us down. It has to be something that resonates with our inner core. It is all about connecting to that one factor and moving on with clearing our own inner selves.
CREATE YOUR OWN MAGIC
Lots of times people have this constant question, " Could you please give us one short stress relief tip" this sounds so easy, as if it's a magic word I need to decipher for them. But honestly personally I do believe life is magical, if we allow it to be. It's up-to you to create your own magic. It is only " We" who can decide what to create, and how to create it. Making a magic potion to relieve our stress levels is our responsibility.
Mostly people who look inward, see it only as a method of personal spiritual evolution, but i want you to see just the basic levels of evolution, in order to clear the stress levels.
Meditation is a way that will get us, short term and long term benefits. It is up to our own intelligence intake, that we choose our path.
Anything that calms the body and brain and gives us a level of slow infiltrated joy us our meditative state.
Focused breathing is really what gives a gentle and overall change to the general stress levels. It is the best way of calming the body and the brain, in the shortest span of time. Physical touch, such as, a simple hug, is another quick strategy.
Weekday Personal Support
Join Panache Desai each weekday morning for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
Designed To Move You From Survival and Fear to Safety and Peace. Available Monday - Friday. Meditation begins at 9 AM. Access early to hear Panache's monologue - around 8:30 AM.
Join Soulspring for conscious insights...
...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...
PLUS! Get your FREE Guide: 12 Mindfulness Practices to a Peaceful Mind