I’m in the biz of helping people live their wildest dreams. I’m also a champion of discovering the wild genius of your current life. These two tracks must go hand in hand-- or else they can undermine you. After two decades of being in this field, I want to give you the best of the best of effective focus. So let’s talk about how to use the innate strategy of “big desire”—and that bad boy super power “true acceptance.” Together, big desire and true acceptance are an unbeatable dynamic mindset duo—guaranteed to take you into the one amazing life you’ve always wanted.

Why Desire is Everything

In my career coaching, I rarely listen to my clients’ “reasonable” desires. I’m a conjurer with a glittery heart. “What do you really want, like what’s too good to be true to want?” I ask. “Only the real dream has the power,” I remind them.

Real dreams have the power of Godzilla, extinguishing miniature ideas of “why things can’t work.” That’s why I hunt for purity. I know the crazy truth is your secret code. It’s holy. It’s mystical. It’s involuntary. And it makes you giggle. The truth is safer than the denial of truth. The truth will take you all the way.

Our inner beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves create boxes that we unintentionally keep ourselves in. 

The ego mind LOVES these beliefs and stories! They keep you small and supposedly keep you safe.

Right now your ego mind has probably convinced you of certain things…are you in any of these boxes?

I’m struggling for money. I’ll never be wealthy.

I can’t find true love. I’m not even worthy of it.

Sandra and Daniel can’t help me. Why do I bother reading their emails? No one can help me.

There’s so much bad in the world. I can’t possibly be happy until things change.

Here’s a little secret for you… those limiting beliefs that keep you in tiny boxes are the lies told by your ego mind! 

I was bearing up under a weight I could no longer see, when the exhalation of something older than all my trouble unfurled my understanding, like a scarf blown out of the hands of someone clutching it. And my mind, floating between preoccupations, was now see-through and weightless. For the first time in months, the grief I’d been obeying went silent. I felt whole in a new way, as if the skin of all I’d been through had grown over all my conclusions. I can’t name this other than to say: I have moved through something difficult that has finally opened. All this bearing up and bearing down to be lifted like a scarf on the wind that a child might chase.

Think back to the last time you had your heart set on something — a job that’s perfect for you, a new apartment in the building you’ve had your eye on, the Caribbean cruise you’ve been planning for months — only to see it evaporate in front of your eyes. Someone else (with less experience) gets the job. The apartment sells before you can even make a phone call. Your trip gets canceled because of bad weather. 

No matter how “zen” you might consider yourself, it can be hard to not feel disappointed and let down when your dream bubble is burst into one big cloud of “WTF?!”

But have you ever then found out later that your sidetrack actually led you to something better — or at least helped you avoid a nasty situation? The new company ends up going bankrupt… you found a better apartment a month later at a lower price… the refund for your canceled trip gave you a cushion in your bank account that you ended up needing for car repairs. 

There’s so much going on right now, right? So many of us are in a confusing state of having no idea whatsoever what to do next. We’ve got a lot of layering going on now, right? We have a huge pandemic, financial crisis, rioting, and protesting, and I honestly don’t think this is going to be the end of it, ladies and gentlemen.

But something I’m super, super clear on is this: it’s really, truly okay to be in a space of “I don’t know what to do next.” Here’s what I mean by that...

The Magic Phase of “I Don’t Know”

Believe it or not, there is magic in that “I don’t know” phase. It’s really okay to be in the step of not knowing because it allows you to decide what to do next. You just have to know how to move forward in the right way.

What I’d encourage you all to do when you find yourself in a state of not knowing is to ask yourself a simple question: “What is the next right step?” Don’t worry about the far-away future or finding the perfect solution to every problem. Just ask yourself, “Show me the next right step.”

I write one page at a time, with only one to five words per line. The structure can look like poetry but has more to do with the physical limitations of a handwritten page and my desire to emphasize multiple meanings. My Page poems are a combination of sketch pad and journal.

The history and method of my writing process can be found in my article How I Wrote Three Thousand Pages Without Trying

Journaling is a way to reflect on the day and to find out more about yourselves.

It takes your ideas bouncing all over the place and a place to sort and organize how you think.

Some studies show that mindfulness can improve your wellbeing as well as the ability to control your emotions.

Let’s learn together how mindful journaling will improve your life.

1. You Learn More About Yourself

When you first put your thoughts on paper… you are forced to pause about what you want to write.

Then you start to go through the day in your head and you figure out what exactly you want to write about today.

Maybe you want to:

• Talk about how you felt in the morning
• The delicious lunch you ate today
• How you’re grateful for the little things in life…

And we condense all of this information and only highlight the moments we want to share with ourselves.

It is not uncommon for people to be scared of their purpose. They think about the problems that would come their way. They believe they would not be able to overcome the challenges. This overthinking leads to wasting a lot of time and demotivation. Quite often, people waste their time trying to find a purpose that would seem good enough. They are terrified of the idea they would spend their lives feeling useless, not achieving anything significant.

It is common to experience such fears. When you find a purpose in life, you are weighed down with expectations that can leave you crippled. So what should you do when you have a goal but don't have the courage to work towards it? How should you ensure that you don't waste any more time and get down to business?

Fighting the sense of panic and fear

The first thing you need to realize is that overthinking is your worst enemy. You keep judging your abilities and pulling yourself down, and this increases the fear in you. Therefore, if you want to stop wasting time and not feel scared of your purpose, you need to gain control of your thoughts.

“You will always have some haters. In fact, I believe if you have some haters, you're probably doing something great.” — Kute Blackson