5 Sure-Fire Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

It’s never too late to start having the best sex of your life. As we women get older, we may begin to look our age, but we certainly don’t have to act like it – and especially not in bed. This is our time, and it’s the best time to own our sexuality.

 

Ten years ago, when I began dating a man 21 years my junior, I was terrified in anticipation of how our relationship between the sheets would unfold. I began to second guess my aging body. My breasts are original equipment and with age had lost their firmness and fullness. My poor eyesight meant I was blind to the long black hairs growing alongside my nipples. And my butt… well that piece of real estate looked more and more like the flat spatula I flipped my son’s pancakes with every morning. Truth be told, I had never been a big fan of sex and my body’s responsiveness – or lack thereof – led me to believe I was never built for eye-squinting, soul-shattering sex.

 

Here’s a big lesson as you build your most authentic life: Never say NEVER! Great sex has nothing to do with your age. It has everything to do with your degree of self-love and the relationship and connection with your partner.

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Making Memories That Last a Lifetime

I’ve been thinking about how to make each and every day matter. How to make each and every day memorable and meaningful.

 

If the last week or so has taught us anything, it’s that people are super fragile. All of us are, at one point or another. It’s hard to know what’s really going on inside the hearts and minds of others, including those we care about most. So, the most important thing any of us can do with our lives — and with the minutes of our days — is to try our best to make them matter for ourselves and for those we care about.

 

On this particular day, Father’s Day, I’m thinking a lot about my father and the memories we shared during the time we had together. I’m also thinking about all the other fathers I know who are stepping up, showing up, and trying to be as present as possible in their children’s lives. Happy Father’s Day to you!

 

Like motherhood, fatherhood is the job of a lifetime. And, like many mothers, there are fathers who also doubt themselves and struggle with their role as a parent. They wonder about their importance and their influence on their children. They wonder if they’re getting things right, or if they’re messing up. They ask themselves, “am I better at this than my own father was?” So many men tell me that’s their hope and their desire. They also wonder, “What will my children remember about me after I’m gone?”

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What To Do When You Outgrow Your Friends (video)

You are allowed to outgrow people.

 

It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. It just means that you are growing.

 

Not everyone will stay with you an entire lifetime and that’s ok. Holding back your light to make others feel comfortable is soul suicide.

 

The greatest gift that you can give the world is to be magnificent. You don’t need to make an excuse for your greatness. You don’t need to hide your light in order to fit in.

 

You attract people into your life because they were a vibrational match at that particular time. They reflected parts of yourself back to you.

 

However, as you grow and evolve, unless they grow and evolve, likely your connection will no longer be in alignment.

 

It can be painful to feel that you and the person that you love have gone in different directions and no longer connect in the same way.

 

We often hold ourselves back from growing out of false loyalty, over-responsibility and fear.

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OMG – Where did 20 years go?

By the time you read this, Brian and I will be in Santorini celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s where we went on our honeymoon and decided it was time for another visit to this gorgeous paradise. I promise to share some photos when we return.

 

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Windows to The Soul - When A Relationship Falls Apart, Allow Life to Fall Together

The roar of jet engines erupt and I’m propelled back in my seat as I take off, leaving behind a life I once knew. A beautiful chapter has come to a close, a new one has just begun. My long haul to Europe represents a bittersweet goodbye to a girl I have loved dearly over the past few years, and will continue to love for some time to come. As the world I knew shattered and the ground fell out from underneath me, my first thought was I’d never find my feet again. Now with a bird’s-eye view I can see with clarity that as my relationship began to fall apart, my life was falling together.

 

Every day we navigate many different relationships, with ourselves, with others, and with our lovers. Our relationships are a journey, an ever changing mirror as the essence of our love and companionship is reflected back to us through the eyes of our partner. If we look closely into the windows of our soul, we can discover who we are, where we’ve been, where we’re going and what we’ve learned along the way. Relationships are markers in a lifelong journey that can provide us greater understanding to the ceaseless transformation of our ever-evolving self.

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Spiritual Partnerships And Friendships

Spiritual partnerships are partnerships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. They are for intimate couples and anyone who intends to become emotionally aware, self-responsible, and inwardly secure.

 

Spiritual partners help one another recognize parts of their personalities that come from love– such as gratitudepatience, and caring – and cultivate them by acting on them consciously. They also help one another recognize parts of their personalities that come from fear -such as anger, jealousy, and righteousness -and challenge them by acting from loving parts of their personalities (such as patience) when frightened parts (such as impatience) are active.

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Where Did the Love Go?

Seems like the stars and planets have clustered to bring pain to people’s love lives this past week. I’ve gotten many calls and emails from heartbroken people who are baffled and confused by unexpected “love turmoil.”

 

I don’t know what the celestial answer is, but I do know what to do and what not to do when the “Sh#t” hits the fan:

 

1) Don’t immediately react. Keep breathing.

 

2) Don’t automatically assume the relationship is over.Keep breathing.

 

3) Don’t assume you did anything “wrong” (unless you did, in which case google the best way to make a proper apology and do it). Simply saying I’m sorry is generally not sufficient.

 

4) Ask for a time when you can sit down and talk (ideally in person) and then be sure to REALLY listen:

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The Power of Timing in Our Lives

Not too long ago, someone asked me why I hadn’t published my book, “I’ve Been Thinking…,” sooner. After all, I’ve been writing these essays and sharing them in The Sunday Paper for years, so I could have easily published it a year or two ago.

 

But, as I told that person, and as I’ve told others on this journey, I honestly couldn’t have put it out any sooner. This book came out when it was supposed to for me. It came at just the right time.

 

I think so many of us are in a rush these days. We’re in a rush to get on with things. A rush to get over things. A rush to be where we think we are supposed to be.

 

But, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that stuff happens when it’s supposed to in our lives, not always when we think it should. At least that’s been the case in my life.

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How to Open Yourself Up to More Love

What do you see when you look into the mirror of love?

 

Yesterday I was out doing errands around town when I looked down and noticed one of those little sweetheart candies in the parking lot near my car. Curious to see what it said, I peered down to make out the faint pink letters. It said: Soul Mate. As I was driving home, I thought about the many soul mates I’ve had in my life (including my amazing husband Marc) and what I’ve learned from all of those relationships. Even in the midst of the letdowns and struggles, my relationships have invited me to take a hard look in the mirror and to grow, heal, and forgive.

 

All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror, be rigorously honest about what you see and what you’ve hidden and forgive.

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Relationships: Sexual Compatibility

Problems with sexual compatibility can arise when being honest and authentic with your partner are missing. Not all people who love each other are naturally sexually compatible. Sometime, as a couple, you have to ‘try’ and talk about what you each like – honestly. That is not always an easy thing to do because it exposes a deeper layer of who you are that might be judged by your partner or society.

Sex doesn’t have to be spontaneous. If you both have difficult jobs and 3 kids and community involvement, sex may not be a priority for one or both of you. Set aside time for it, and not when you are both exhausted. Try a morning or get a babysitter where you can drop the kids off (grandma). Mix it up. It doesn’t have to be in bed all the time.

Try something new and talk about it. Test you comfort zones. You have to do this together. You have to experiment together and you have to discuss this together.



Check out  the Free Training form Arielle Ford, Bestselling Author of The Soulmate Secret and Claire Zammit, Ph.D. Founder of Feminine Power:


How can we be more gentle with ourselves on the spiritual path?

Question: “A lot of us are putting a lot of effort into being more fully present and to being ‘here now’ and we head towards the fire, and in the process, I know for myself, I lose my sense of humor, and I wonder if you could talk about ways of taking care of ourselves in the process?”

Ram Dass: See, if I were in a more Zen state, I’d say, “Take care of whom?” or, “Which self do you want to take care of?” I’d just take it obliquely right out of that question, because that is psychological, it’s like, here is this little self trying to do good and get enlightened, poor thing, it should take a vacation, it should go to Hawaii and maybe surf a little, you know?

Don’t do it too heavy, because that fire is hot. Like, I should say nice things and make you feel comfortable, but another part of me just says, “Go deeper into the fire if you really want to take care of yourself – burn baby, burn.”

I’m showing you the different levels of the way this whole discourse could be going. I’ll tell you, from where I’m at in this place, I’ll say that in Buddhist tradition it is thought that because a human birth is so precious and so rare that you should not waste a moment, and you should work just as hard as you can and make real effort, and not let a moment go by.

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The Power of Love

TRoyal Weddinghe wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan this past Saturday was a beautiful, moving and inspiring affair. We got up in the middle of the night to watch it, and I am so happy we did. To know that we were “in the field of love” with a billion (or more) other human beings watching this, was so heartwarming and healing.

Given the crazy times we are living in, I found watching this to be comforting, soothing, and a great reminder that love does and will prevail.

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Relationships: Better Communication

Lack of communication is a core reason relationships suffer. When you aren’t clear about expectations, hopes, fears or what you love and want, you and your partner have little chance to come together or, for that matter, even really know each other. Everyone is always expanding and changing and it is communication that allows you both to continue to ‘know’ the always ‘new’ you.

You are always being pulled into distraction; TV, your phone, magazines, jobs, social events, sports, kids and a million other things you allow to keep you from talking. They are easier than having that conversation that might be uncomfortable or might upset your partner.

Find time alone with your partner, undisturbed, and create it regularly. Turn off your phones and make sure you don’t feel rushed to be somewhere else.

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Is this a reason NOT to love them?

People can be annoying.

It’s just a basic fact of life.

And when we are annoyed, it creates upset and stress in our body, mind and spirit.

Not to mention the trouble we can cause if we get annoyed and then immediately lash out and create even more drama.

It’s taken me years to train myself to allow myself the time to just “be” with the upset, to not react, or overreact to the situation.

As I am “just being,” I give myself the space to try to figure out what I am annoyed about, and then decide whether or not there is something to do about it.

Sometimes a conversation is in order to talk things through, but most of the time, once I ask myself the following question, I can soften and release my emotions.

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Go In Peace

As my career flourished and my life filled with wonders, a lifelong dream of producing three inspiring videos about awakening, animal communication, and miracles was close to realization. There was one hitch in my emerging success. My DVD footage was being held hostage. I did not have the ransom funds. Sounds like a movie! But it's a true story. I was so angry that I went outside kicking my feet as I sought peace under the night stars. My heart felt crumpled into a paper ball. Alone in my despair, I sat a moment by the compost pile, feeling a desire to be transformed into something more fertile.


I got up, walked a ways, then made a left turn, unsure of why. I just followed my senses in the same way I follow what beckons. There, late at night, under stars, sprawled below me, no longer alive, was one of my best friends, the hawk.


There had been three hawks that spent lots of time with me. They called to me each day, circled around me, attended my seminars in circles above, and guided me into the place where heart and sky were the same. What happened to this one?


I could not understand. I blamed myself. My negativity over this matter of the DVDs must have killed the hawk, I thought.


"That is not what happened," said the hawk, who was right above me, though her body was on the ground. "Please go inside, sleep, and listen," she continued. By passing the feelings in her own heart into mine, she was able to give me this message.


Despair was literally extracted from my body in that moment. I felt comforted by the presence of my loving friend. Following her guidance, I went to bed. Lying awake most of the night, I felt flown. My heart was lifted into lighter and lighter contentment. Everything but love disappeared. I experienced myself flying in waves of blissful peace.

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Forming a Relationship with Your Own Authentic Spirit

So often, we get trapped in a relationship with ourselves that doesn’t reflect who we truly are. We build lives that may start off with good intentions, but after a while, we find ourselves drifting through life as someone we don’t even recognize. If you’ve ever taken a look at yourself and your life and asked “Who is this?” or “How did I get here?” or “How am I going to get out of this?” you probably know what I’m talking about.

Usually, when talking about relationships, we’re talking about something that happens between two people. However, the most important relationship we can have is internal—between our own authentic spirit and us.

The most important relationship we can have is internal…

Building a good relationship with your authentic spirit starts with a few questions: Does your life reflect who you really are, or who you want to be? Are you allowing your true self to show? If not, you might want to consider making some personal changes.

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Eating Addiction: How Meditation Helps Free Us (audio)

Buddhist psychology views clinging as the source of suffering, and one of the great domains of clinging is compulsive overeating. For most of us the causes and conditions for compulsive overeating existed before we were born, during our early childhood, and in our surrounding society. We begin to release shame and self-aversion by realizing we are not alone in this suffering; and eating addiction is not “our fault.” The talk includes an exploration of how, through RAIN, we can bring mindfulness and self-compassion to compulsive eating, giving us more choice in our behavior. Ultimately we discover that this deep prison of suffering can become a portal to realizing the freedom our true nature.

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How can we hold both the good and the bad within us?

Question: “How can a soul know another soul, and can an ego know a soul?”

A soul can know a soul. An ego cannot know a soul. But souls like Maharaji, for example, draw out your soul, and then you see him. Otherwise, you see an old man without a blanket. Am I saying it right? I have discovered this when I visit sick or dying people.

When I used to do it like, “I’m a kind man who’s visiting sick people, so therefore, you must be a sick person,” I was caught in my role, and therefore, all I did was keep them caught in their roles. When I stood outside the bedroom door, and felt myself to be a soul, and then I went into the room, I was able to see it clearly. I went in and massaged the sick man’s feet. And there we were as soul friends. He didn’t find my mind reinforcing his model of himself, so I thought, “Hey, you can fluff a pillow or put a blanket over someone and you are helping people.” But Krishna in the  Bhagavad Gita is, “Do what you do, but put the flowers at my feet.” It’s doing God’s work, doing these things. So when I went to see that fellow, characterizing him as a spiritual person, I felt I was doing God’s work. Maybe that’s just psychotic.

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Do You Get Stuck in Judgment and Comparison?

Do you get stuck in judgment … of yourself or others? Do you compare yourself with others? Do you judge where you think you “should” be now in your life? How might these thoughts hold you back from truly living in this present moment? This moment is all you have, right here right now. Why would you waste it on judgment or fear-based thoughts? When you recognize you have been living in the past or the fearful future or focusing on others … you will see that you are missing THIS moment. Judgment and comparison comes from fear or a lack mentality.


I would invite you to become aware of how you feel physically when you get into those thoughts. The way that you feel is expressing itself in your physical body for a reason. Your body is telling you that this is not in alignment with your truth … that these feelings of lack, these feelings of doubt, of fear, of anger, toward the past, towards the future, towards yourself … that these feelings are not only not raising your vibration but are holding you back from seeing the beauty within you, and the amazing life around you. These negative thoughts and feelings are not in alignment with who you truly are, and your body is giving you that gift of awareness. So, instead of doing what you’ve done in the past, whether its staying stuck in the judgment, pushing your emotions down, ignoring your feelings, or denying them … you can instead see it as an opportunity to look at it, change your thoughts and take some steps to start to heal it.

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A new perspective on motherhood…

I have been thinking about my mother and how Maharaji gave me a present.

You see, I was a Freudian, and that’s a bad place to be in relation to mothers. Sometime after I had been with Maharaji, I was having a darshan and he said something to me: “Your mother is a very high being.” Now my mother had died. So I perceived my mother in a new way. I had seen her as a Jewish middle-class woman filling the role of mother with all her personality things. But that person is all gone. So he said that about her, and I asked the translator to clarify whether he meant to say “is” or “was.” So, the translator went back over, and Maharaji got angry and said, “Is!… Is!”

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