There are so very many stress relief tools at our disposal, yet we need to understand our own inherent temperament and choose what suits us the best.
Prolific artist/musician Sharron Katz has an inspiring soulmate manifestation story that I just had to share with you.
Now, at age 61, she is happily with her beloved, Mike, 66, and together they are sharing a juicy, creative, open, honest, musical and artistic life together.
But it almost didn’t happen.
After a 15-year marriage and a super bad divorce, Sharron had big doubts if she would ever find real love.
Thank God she trusted her intuition, and she was willing to do the deep work on herself and of course, followed The Soulmate Secret manifestation steps.
Did you know that relationships are mirror images of your own life? Relationships are affected by what's going on in your life. It's all about how you feel and treat yourself, as well as how you react and respond to different situations and people that are around you.
All relationships (whether they’re on an emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual level) are all part of the learning process and should nurture and enlighten your soul. No matter what category a relationship falls into, it acts as a teaching tool for you to understand the lessons that your soul needs to learn at that time in your life. While you may not necessarily understand why you enter into a new relationship at the time, it can help you to understand, change, or enhance your individual qualities.
Do remember, that every relationship is an opportunity for soul growth. Different types of relationships have an uncanny way of showing you what you need to work on in your life. At times, they can reveal your vulnerabilities and insecurities, or your need for attention, approval, and acceptance. Equally, they can identify where you may be stuck in a rut, or even where you need love, peace, healing, or joy in your life.
Relationships of all kinds are really about you, even in the hardest situations. As I've said: “They’re meant to be mirrors for us, always reflecting back what we need to see. The question is: Do you want to look in this mirror, and be open to what you need to learn, or simply pretend it's not there and pass it by?”
What is an open heart?
Put no one out of your heart.
We all know people who are, ah, . . . challenging. It could be a critical parent, a bossy supervisor, a relative who has you walking on eggshells, a nice but flaky friend, a co-worker who just doesn't like you, a partner who won't keep his or her agreements, or a politician you dislike. Right now I'm thinking of a neighbor who refused to pay his share of a fence between us.
As Jean-Paul Sartre put it: "Hell is other people."
Sure, that's overstated. But still, most of a person's hurts, disappointments, and irritations typically arise in reactions to other people.
How do you talk to people?
Try a softer tone.
When our kids were little, I’d come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living room full of stuff—toy trucks, tennis shoes, bags of chips, etc. At the time, the arrangement my wife and I had was that I’d be primarily responsible for income and she’d be primarily responsible for taking care of the kids, including getting them to pick up after themselves. When we were both home, we divided the housework and child-rearing evenly.
Sometimes I’d get irritated about all the clutter, and the first words out of my mouth to my wife would be: “How come there’s all this mess?!” After a day chasing children, Jan would feel criticized and sputter back at me. Then there’d be a quarrel or a chilly silence. Not good.
Commerical airline pilot Lisa could easily be called an adventurous woman. In addition to flying jumbo jets, she has gone on many solo journeys from mountain trekking in Peru to dog sledding in Iceland.
A student of my seven-week online course (see more info www.soulmatepassion.com), Lisa was dedicated and did her feelingizations on a regular basis, wrote and released her wish list, sent me her “letter from the future,” and completed the other exercises and rituals.
Have you ever been so upset, so disturbed by someone, that if you didn’t lash out at them, you were sure the whole world would come crashing down on you? When you and I get upset with someone, our attention is instantly glued onto the source of our irritation. All we do is think about the irritation we have and how it’s connected to what someone else has done.
When you’re upset with someone or something, you have no consciousness of yourself at all. You are only conscious of what you say he, she, or it is making you feel. You are completely outwardly oriented in order to justify your inward agitation.
At the moment you see a person or an event as being responsible for this irritation, what you are actually seeing is your experience of the moment. So really what you’re experiencing isn’t the person, but the content of your own past experience in its narrow confines.
Love. It’s that four-letter word that makes our world go ‘round.
Artists sing about love. Writers write about love. Painters paint about love. Protestors take to the streets carrying placards that plead for more love. And, every once in a while, a political leader stands up and speaks about the importance of leading from a place of love. (I wish this happened more often than it does.)
I believe in love big time. I also believe that we can all get better at loving ourselves and loving each other.
Love is easy and love is hard. Even if you’ve been burned by it, you still want to put your heart back in the fire. It’s just that good. It’s just that necessary. It’s just that vital to your health.
Because love is such a big topic, I talk to my kids about it a lot. I talk about what I’ve come to learn love is, and what it isn’t. The truth is, I don’t think we talk enough about the reality of everyday love. So often it presents itself to us in small moments, but we’re too busy to stop and notice that it’s there, much less give gratitude for it.
Late last summer, Gabriel Jebb had a long conversation with his sister that ended with her telling him that he would be a great father and maybe it was time for him to look into adoption or finding a surrogate. Instead, he dove into online dating where he quickly encountered health coach Kerry Tepedino and was blown away to discover that she came with a bonus of an awesome son, Grayson.
After their first dinner, they immediately knew that they wanted to see each other again, but it wasn’t until the second date, at a U2 concert, that the sparks really started to fly. That’s when Kerry knew that there could be something really special between them because Gabriel was wildly fun, extremely energetic, not to mention pretty darn handsome.
The secret to being interesting is simple: Stop focusing so much on yourself.
When you stop trying to be the most interesting person, and you become genuinely interested in others, you actually become more interesting.
The key to charisma is caring.
Much of our suffering happens because we get fixated on ourselves. It’s easy to get lost in your own emotions, thoughts, desires, wants and needs that we get so self-focused.
The other day, my brother Timothy spoke to a packed stadium as he opened the Special Olympics USA Games in Seattle.
As he talked about “taking a stand for inclusion,” everyone in the stadium rose to their feet. Tears filled their eyes. Hearts burst with inspiration. A friend who was there even told me that he left the stadium feeling more hopeful about humanity and our country than he had in ages.
Meanwhile that same night in Los Angeles, my friend Suzanne took her kids and a few friends to an open-air revival of the musical “Grease.” She said that she, too, was struck by the joy that filled the amphitheater. She, too, was moved by how easily everyone came together to enjoy themselves, to be kind to one another, and to be in community.
Someone once said, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they’re both disappointed.”
If you’re marrying in the belief that it will make your life significantly better, then things probably aren’t great to begin with. Only you can make yourself happy and when you are happy, and you are with your soulmate/life partner, that is the icing on the cake.
That said, there are always ways to improve your relationship, reignite the fun and passion, and rekindle your commitment, especially when you understand the “real purpose of marriage.”
I hope you are enjoying the beginning of summer. I am literally moving very slowly into summer since I had a procedure a few weeks ago that has curtailed my normal activity.
Several years ago, I had a pain in the area of my lower abdomen which was so acute that at times I could not sit up straight. After seeing several doctors, they determined I had a growth on my ovaries. At the time, they treated it with antibiotics and made the decision to monitor it regularly. Since the mass continued to grow, this past February my gynecologist suggested I consult with a specialist. Not thinking anything of it, I scheduled the appointment in between my workout and work day. I figured the most the doctor would tell me was that I needed to have the growth removed, which, in my mind, would be a quick outpatient procedure.
Determined not to miss a beat in my day, I arrived at the specialist’s office juggling my iPhone and iPad. Now, I must admit that I was a bit taken aback when I found out that the doctor I was seeing was a gynecologic oncologist, located in the new “Cancer Institute” building of the hospital. However, I shook it off and kept my eye on the prize which was trying to get in and out in under two hours.
Friend or Foe?
Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.
Think about a time when someone was friendly to you — maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, comfortable, and at ease; safer; more open and warm-hearted.
There is one question that many of us, of all ages, are seeking an answer. People want to know if they will experience true love? I believe each of us can find a deep connection with a partner. We are all different and have unique needs. Is there a formula that can be used by each of us that leads to Love? Yes; I am going to share with you a plan that will clearly guide you to true love.
First you need to determine if you are ready to commit. Maybe you are on a path that is of self -discovery. You might be enjoying the sights and sounds with people that are not meant to be long term partners. Our lives are full of different lessons and cycles. Some adventures are for you alone to experience, and later share.
If you believe that you are ready for a partner, make a very detailed list of what you desire. Imagine and describe the physical, emotional, spiritual and social requirements of your dream partner. Don’t spare the details. Sometimes people from your past can help you come up with the details.Sometimes people from your past can help you come up with the details. You might have already figured out what you don’t want. Describe what you do want.
It’s never too late to start having the best sex of your life. As we women get older, we may begin to look our age, but we certainly don’t have to act like it – and especially not in bed. This is our time, and it’s the best time to own our sexuality.
Ten years ago, when I began dating a man 21 years my junior, I was terrified in anticipation of how our relationship between the sheets would unfold. I began to second guess my aging body. My breasts are original equipment and with age had lost their firmness and fullness. My poor eyesight meant I was blind to the long black hairs growing alongside my nipples. And my butt… well that piece of real estate looked more and more like the flat spatula I flipped my son’s pancakes with every morning. Truth be told, I had never been a big fan of sex and my body’s responsiveness – or lack thereof – led me to believe I was never built for eye-squinting, soul-shattering sex.
Here’s a big lesson as you build your most authentic life: Never say NEVER! Great sex has nothing to do with your age. It has everything to do with your degree of self-love and the relationship and connection with your partner.
I’ve been thinking about how to make each and every day matter. How to make each and every day memorable and meaningful.
If the last week or so has taught us anything, it’s that people are super fragile. All of us are, at one point or another. It’s hard to know what’s really going on inside the hearts and minds of others, including those we care about most. So, the most important thing any of us can do with our lives — and with the minutes of our days — is to try our best to make them matter for ourselves and for those we care about.
On this particular day, Father’s Day, I’m thinking a lot about my father and the memories we shared during the time we had together. I’m also thinking about all the other fathers I know who are stepping up, showing up, and trying to be as present as possible in their children’s lives. Happy Father’s Day to you!
Like motherhood, fatherhood is the job of a lifetime. And, like many mothers, there are fathers who also doubt themselves and struggle with their role as a parent. They wonder about their importance and their influence on their children. They wonder if they’re getting things right, or if they’re messing up. They ask themselves, “am I better at this than my own father was?” So many men tell me that’s their hope and their desire. They also wonder, “What will my children remember about me after I’m gone?”
It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. It just means that you are growing.
Not everyone will stay with you an entire lifetime and that’s ok. Holding back your light to make others feel comfortable is soul suicide.
The greatest gift that you can give the world is to be magnificent. You don’t need to make an excuse for your greatness. You don’t need to hide your light in order to fit in.
You attract people into your life because they were a vibrational match at that particular time. They reflected parts of yourself back to you.
However, as you grow and evolve, unless they grow and evolve, likely your connection will no longer be in alignment.
It can be painful to feel that you and the person that you love have gone in different directions and no longer connect in the same way.
We often hold ourselves back from growing out of false loyalty, over-responsibility and fear.
By the time you read this, Brian and I will be in Santorini celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s where we went on our honeymoon and decided it was time for another visit to this gorgeous paradise. I promise to share some photos when we return.
The roar of jet engines erupt and I’m propelled back in my seat as I take off, leaving behind a life I once knew. A beautiful chapter has come to a close, a new one has just begun. My long haul to Europe represents a bittersweet goodbye to a girl I have loved dearly over the past few years, and will continue to love for some time to come. As the world I knew shattered and the ground fell out from underneath me, my first thought was I’d never find my feet again. Now with a bird’s-eye view I can see with clarity that as my relationship began to fall apart, my life was falling together.
Every day we navigate many different relationships, with ourselves, with others, and with our lovers. Our relationships are a journey, an ever changing mirror as the essence of our love and companionship is reflected back to us through the eyes of our partner. If we look closely into the windows of our soul, we can discover who we are, where we’ve been, where we’re going and what we’ve learned along the way. Relationships are markers in a lifelong journey that can provide us greater understanding to the ceaseless transformation of our ever-evolving self.
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