Ok my beautiful singles…. in addition to holding your nose and doing the online dating thing (I know you don’t like it, but it often works), here are some true stories of women who met their match IRL:

Every morning Jessica (a commercial airline pilot) rode her Harley to her favorite outdoor café for coffee. Eventually she shared a table and became friendly with a married man who was on her same schedule. One day the man brought his mother to coffee. Mom instantly warmed up to Jessica and berated her son for not fixing Jessica up with his twin brother. Mom was right. Voila, it was a love match and Jessica is now married with great in-laws.

My life has become easier, more graceful, more loving, depth of companionship, depth of intimacy like never before. Here is why: When it’s your destiny, and when you are supposed to be somewhere or go through something and have the experience, the right person shows up in your life. The secret my wife Jan and I have figured out a long time ago is that we didn’t need each other to love one another, we needed to love ourselves. 

You are the source of your love. You are the source of your happiness. You. 

Love is an essential component of any relationship. Unfortunately, for those in relationships with addicts or narcissists, love can begin to feel like an addiction itself. Individuals in these types of relationships must develop unhealthy coping mechanisms that mimic the behaviors commonly associated with addiction. 

Seeking more love in your life?

A fast, easy way to make it happen is to put your attention on all the love that is already around you (family, friends, pets, etc.) and then actively engage in making love happen and spread by creating a “ripple effect.”

Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives and the choices we make have far-reaching consequences. Like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry, the Ripple Effect, creates connections that we are all a part of. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.

“You are not enough”.

“You will never make it.

“You are too fat!”

We have all had negative voices in our heads……  

If you listen to those voices they can be crippling and will rob you of your power, freedom, and dreams. 

You are not the voices in your head. 

You are not your thoughts.

Just because your mind tells you something doesn’t mean it’s true.

Your inner critic is that part of you that talks negatively to you.

To be free you must learn to develop a relationship with your inner critic.

Have you ever noticed that you get rid of one person in your life, and you get somebody just like it?  Amazing!  But you didn’t get somebody just like it. You got you again! That’s the lesson, isn’t it? We should be so tired of pointing our fingers at other people. 

So, then what happens? Here I am, fighting with my past, revisiting and revisiting how I was abused, or how somebody broke my heart – trying to get over what happened. And I fight, and I fight to get the condition to go right until at some point, I realize I’m fighting with the wrong thing. I’m trying to make, in my own heart and mind, a reconciliation from a set of conditions that I believed I was apart from. 

Love comes in various shapes, forms, and varying degrees but it is an essential part of humanity. The greatest kind of love is not the love of yourself. Rather, it is the love towards your fellow humans, even for those you don’t know and that are not part of your family. It is often hard to love humanity when you see certain things people are capable of doing, but there are still billions of others who deserve love and kindness. If you would love to work on yourself and your love towards humanity and seek ways to show that, here are simple ways to do it. 

Toxic relationships create ripples throughout our mind and our body. In a toxic relationship, our mind reads cues and our body responds in ways that are effective coping mechanisms for that relationship. However, these responses to social cues are often not effective or helpful in a new relationship or when trying to heal from a dysfunctional and toxic partner.

Our body responses, emotional regulation, and even the fear response to social cues are controlled by the vagal nerve. Depending on our experiences and the specific situation, we may have different responses than others around us, which is important to understand in healing after the trauma of experiencing a toxic relationship.

Flirting is a time-honored way of signaling interest and attraction in another person. It’s an essential aspect of human interaction and can be an open portal for intimate relationships between two people.

While most people think of flirting as an overt sexual act, it doesn’t have to be.

You’ve heard the cliché, “success leaves a trail of breadcrumbs,” and having met and interviewed tons of smart, super-successful women who went from alone and dateless to happily married to their conscious soulmate, I have compiled a list (in no particular order) of the qualities they brought forward in themselves to make it happen.