It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
So yet again, as I came to my computer hoping to share something meaningful, all I was thinking was how fried and brain dead I was after this week. Marc and I worked 14 hour days on Oracle School videos (my new baby officially launching in a month- OMG I am so excited) followed by evening classes. So trusting that Spirit would give me a good idea, I chose my trusted and first oracle deck I created called ‘The Wisdom of Avalon’ to help me focus on a topic for this week’s blog. The first card that fell out was “Love” and the second “Goblin”.
The plot thickens.
Fitting as it’s still February – the “love month” of course the first card would be Love, and then the second card Goblin represents the part of us that sees itself as unlovable, flawed, a victim etc. That stuck part of us we disown and pretend doesn’t live in the shadows of our psyches needs love too.
So I thought what about having a conversation about this. What about a 3 minute spill on loving life, loving what we do, loving how we spend our time, or loving our homes? What about talking about Love as a solution? What about self-love? What about sending love to the areas in our lives that seem to be lacking in that department? What in your life needs more love? When does your Goblin start yacking about you not being lovable?
I’ll go first.
I love my life. Even though I have to admit this past week was like sticking my finger in an electric socket from being so fried from all the pressure of being in front of a camera for hours and then the travel back and forth from the city in traffic. Oracle School is the epitome of what I love!
I love my life fiercely. I love what I do, I have such gratitude for my service, teaching, talking to dead people, creating oracle cards, being on the radio and living the full catastrophe of my life- hubby and dogs, friends and family. I love Hay House. I love singing and writing music. I love being on stage doing readings and bringing hope to people.
I love my farm, I love living in the country, riding a motorcycle, holding my tiny dog in my hand as he snores, touching my husband’s foot under the covers, holding his hand, I love his smell, I love talking to my sober friends and being reminded how far we have all come. And, I love Spirit more than anything else.
Yes. I love God. G-O–D – the Dude, The Universe, Spirit, The Divine – I LOVE this magic that is everywhere. Spirit is magic. We are magic.
Wow that was easy!!!
Then it wasn’t.
Enter the Goblin.
I am heading out to NYC this week to tape a segment on the Dr Oz show and I really had to get into the spirit of “I love my thighs” because it appeared that my entire wardrobe shrunk in the closet! Did you know that closets could shrink clothes in the winter?
I did not know that.
I have a closet goblin. Oh oh.
I will admit as I kept going with my Love list this was not as easy as I thought. The closet experience triggered some taunting nasty little goblins and then I began to see what I didn’t love, and I saw how quickly Love could be overshadowed by fear.
Hmm if I were to reveal the litany of issues I deemed unlovable it would be incredibly boring but suffice to say when I spent enough time with myself I realized anything I felt a “Love-Lack” vibe around I wrote it down. Every single unlovable thing about my life was rooted in fear, and lack, accompanied by a dash of not being enough, or being too much or a combination of them all. Yuck.
Truth is, the small self revels in this stuff. It’s so familiar isn’t it, the self- reproach, the expectation of failure, or the fear of disappointing or worse. But that voice that says, “you’re not good enough, you’re not enough, you’re too fat, too loud, too different, too weird” etc. needs love and lots of it. Because that is the voice that forgets that Spirit is there and in a forever magical partnership with you- and that partnership is always there. You and me are loved always no matter what story the small self digs up when it is scared.
Then I sat my little goblins down and told them I loved them for always and imagined them all in teeny pink baby blankets all wrapped up like those babies you see in cute photos. They were enough! They were loveable! There they were – All lined up like the 7 dwarves’ ugly cousins with oversized t-shirts that said “ Shamey, Fatso, Dumb Dumb, Lacko, Freako, Stinko and Orphano”.
The more love I imagined the cuter and tinier they got. I know it sounds silly but it worked.
How easy it is to cut us off from Source, from Spirit and from the magic in the universe. When the small self is in charge things can get messy. Yet it’s equally as easy to get that connection again. Love is the thread that holds the entire world together!
So I’d love to invite you to do an exercise:
Set a timer for 3 minutes
Then same thing 3 minutes
How do the two lists feel different?
Go back to the second one and imagine you sending love and compassion to the part of you that thinks that way or tells the love-lack story.
Imagine you telling it you love it and that God doesn’t make junk?
Now how do you feel?
All you need is love.
Now go spread it around. (and wish me luck- I’m going on Dr. Oz and my little goblins will be snoring in pink)
Love you always and forever.
Join Panache Desai every morning and for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
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