Most of us think of gratitude as being thankful or appreciative. But it’s deeper than that definition alone.
There are lessons in gratitude that help you build better relationships, improve your own mood, increase your happiness, and much more…
Most of us think of gratitude as being thankful or appreciative. But it’s deeper than that definition alone.
There are lessons in gratitude that help you build better relationships, improve your own mood, increase your happiness, and much more…
Being alone is a challenge for many people. This challenge may loom especially large during the holidays if you are single or newly divorced and without family around you. Holidays are a time to share love, and many people end up feeling depressed when they do not have people around with whom to show their love. If you are in this situation, what can you do to make the holidays joyous rather than depressing?
The key phrase here is SHARE LOVE.
The cool, quiet room was overflowing with the grieving faces of friends and family as the funeral director invited Mrs. Lee up to the podium to speak. The petite, elegant widow walked slowly to the front of the small chapel and calmly began her eulogy.
“I am not going to sing praises for my late husband. Not today. Neither am I going to talk about how good he was.” Mrs. Lee’s eyes flashed.
“Enough people have done that here.” She took a deep breath, allowing the air to fill her lungs before she continued. “Instead, I want to talk about some things that will make some of you feel a bit uncomfortable.”
Several people stopped fanning themselves and sat up a little straighter. “First off, I want to talk about what happened in bed.” She paused dramatically, shifting her weight from side to side. A crow cawed outside the chapel window. She watched it perch itself on a nearby tree.
“Have you ever had difficulty starting your car engine in the morning?” She carefully studied the faces about the room. With a loud, grinding sound, she snorted and rumbled, violently shaking her tiny frame.
The struggle to love and forgive is a heroic struggle. It will affect every other relationship in your life. And guess what? For me, all movement comes from forgiving and loving myself. Go figure.
I wrote some of this piece years ago, while visiting my mother in upstate New York. I wanted to be the perfect daughter. But there’s something about dealing with our families that’s like taking acid. You go on a trip. Things come out of the blue. People sprout extra heads. Then you come back and you think-- what was that all about?
“Those who see themselves as whole make no demands,” teaches A Course in Miracles. Well, clearly, those who seem themselves as threatened wildebeests act accordingly.
Being with my mother, I can’t believe how quickly I am triggered. I teach workshops in A Course in Miracles , a form of spirituality which emphasizes choosing love instead of “being right.” But as I hide away upstairs in the cutesy, cluttered guest bedroom of my mother’s townhouse, despising every artificial flower I see, I consider a different line of work. Maybe I could be the anti-Gandhi. Because my blood pressure is definitely higher than my consciousness.
Music always gave me comfort through challenging times. Music was my constant companion and soundtrack to life. I consider junior high the cruelest time of life. Surviving bullying and the rhythm of growing up and falling down.
At age 17, after graduating high school I moved to Santa Monica, CA with my best friend Mike to become a Graduate Gemologist.
We lived in a small apartment so we couldn't listen to music too loud without disturbing our neighbors. We made an agreement that we both had our "Loud Song". If our favorite song came on the radio we could turn it up as loud as we want for that one song.
My loud song was "Roll With The Changes" by REO Speedwagon and Mike's loud song was "Dream On" by Aerosmith.
A year after we got home to Minnesota, Mike was killed in a head on car crash. His spirit continues to stay with me, knowing he lived his life by his loud song. Somehow his song made the deep loss easier for me.
Many people today in America are sitting in front of their phones, TVs and computers in mere despair. All are feeling so surprised that our Capital experienced such violence and ignorance, and that adversity is being expressed in a country that quickly defines itself as the land of the free and of democracy.
The truth of the matter is we have not been free for a very long time. We are enslaved to greed, enterprise, pharmaceuticals, false prophets and so much more. The Declaration of Independence had possibilities yet required each individual of such creeds to grow into them. Most never have and sadly many never will.
Our country is one of the most desired in the world for the illusion that we have it made, dreams come true, you can be a celebrity or better yet, you can be rich. Yet the deeper truth is behind the illusion we are still working from a place of darkness into the light. We are still rewriting false stories and untruths even as simple as how we were discovered. We are still retrieving our souls for we have lived behind so many false lies told by the white man and retold over and over again.
There is one thing in our society and our nation that is self-evident today. We are craving leadership which stands for all of us and sees beyond our shadows and brings us to the new hope of glory which is US. Not me and only me but WE.
“Did I miss something?” asked Martha, her hand raised in the Hollywood Squares of my Zoom mindfulness class.
“What do you mean?” I inquired.
“Well, we were having this relaxing and lovely meditation experience and now we are all of a sudden talking about death and dying, so I want to know… did I miss something?”
Wow. I looked at the faces of the human beings that have grown so close these last nine months as I listened to Martha’s question and imagined fear, maybe even anger arising in her. Although I had compassion for her discomfort, I had no problem answering her by saying, “Yes, actually. You missed loving connected presence. You missed the fact that we are here to support each other for whatever comes up.”
First off, in whatever time frame you are reading this … Have you at this point today, laughed yet? Laughed. Have you laughed yet today? Have you done something today that has gotten you excited, made you kind of giddy, have a big smile on your face, and feel joyful from the inside out?
How many of you know, feel, recognize, understand that you need more of that? You need more laughter. You need more joy. You need more play. You need more fun … that you desire happiness, light-heartedness, connectedness.
Do you recognize that? Even if you’ve had it, do you invite more joy, more play, more fun into your life?
It is the highest expression of love there is.
I want you to think about the ways we were taught to express love and the way that you experienced joy as a child. You might not have been allowed to have joy. A lot of people didn’t.
Are you missing family and friends? Have you lost loved ones close to your heart?
There is a simple Heartful way to feel connected with everyone I love.
While developing the HARMONY REFRESH, I discovered a profound attribute of hearts to connect with love.
A Harmony Refresh of feeling your heartbeat, being aware of your breath and relaxing into calm are the first three skills of the Seven Skills of Harmony. Click here for more info.
My father passed away over 40 years ago. I still miss him but a few years ago I realized, grief is not about getting over loss, it is honoring the love that is eternally shared in our Source.
It’s easy to think an attachment to the past maintains a connection to love. Longing for someone you love whether in or out of a body comes in two tones of emotion, the agony of loss and the joy of gratitude, both come from love.
Being alone for the holidays is a major challenge for many people, and this is especially true during the pandemic. For many people, holidays conjure images of family, of warmth and the sharing of special time. Loneliness can be overwhelming when you have no one with whom to share holiday time, or you can’t get together.
Most people know that the point of the holidays – and what makes them so special – is not about what you get, but what you give. The joy of the holiday season is about the love you share. Our hearts get filled to the brim with love when we give and share love – way more than when we get love.
I had just finished a music performance at a preschool in Minneapolis. The children were playing on the playground while I was loading my car. Lucy who is barely three was standing by the chain link fence with her hand reaching out to me. As I walked over to her, she gently said, “Here, this is for you.” “You can take it home.”
What else could I say except “Thank You!” Doing my best to echo the sweet sincerity that the tiny white pebble from the playground was given.
The object had no intrinsic value, but the gift was priceless.
Kings cannot possess riches as precious as the generosity of Lucy’s pebble.
Rabindranath Tagore, Bengali poet and Nobel Prize winner, is quoted as saying, “Only in love are unity and duality not in conflict.”
In one sense, this concept seems so easy to grasp, so simple and so obvious, especially to those of us leading a conscious, intentional life.
But our world, on a global scale, needs a reminder.
Much of the strife we experience and witness today is because of ideas of false separation, ones that enable people to behave in ways that dehumanize, exploit, and divide.
But together, we who live in Oneness and with the Divine energy of the Universe working through us, can be a collective force for change.
Take a deep breath in and for a moment imagine the ideal world where everyone understands Oneness and Love is the great motivator…
Then imagine thousands and thousands of people coming together from all over the globe to hold this intention, to expand awareness, to change the frequency, to hit the metaphorical reset button.
This is, in fact, the focus of “The Power of Love: Resetting Humanity to a New Way of Living on the Earth,” the 11th annual Global Oneness Summit and the first-ever International Shout Out Love Day…
After almost seventy years, I confess that though I have struggled I have never been lost and have never stopped loving—everything. And this has enabled me to inhabit life authentically. In the beginning, there were goals I was taught to work toward and these longings for worth were honed in time into personal ambitions, which all fell away. For staying true to the love of everything as our teacher has turned out to be the most enduring ambition of all. This love has made me get up when I have fallen, and has given me the strength to enter the breaks in my heart where I have retrieved my gifts. And so, I have very little to offer beyond the confirmation that unending love without preference will lead us to drink from the Mystery without leaving the world. Unending love without intent will fill every contour of existence the way light fills every hole. So, there is very little to teach. Just that love awakens everything. And care erases the walls we build between us.
It is my personal opinion that most people are unnecessarily insecure. These insecurities can hold people back from being truly happy, and living life to the fullest. Where do these insecurities come from? How can we become more confident?
The need for the approval of others is one of our first learned behaviors. As we started life, many of us learned that we received our parents love when we did things that pleased them. We were met with negativity, or not as much love, when we did things that upset them. Our parents were the gods of our universe at that time, and their love was not only desired instinctually, but was necessary for our survival.
As we move out into the world as individuals, we still feel that the acceptance and praise of others keeps us validated, and defines us as meaningful contributors to society. So this means that a large motivator for doing anything is the expectation of positive feedback from someone else.
When we receive praise, we allow it to lift us up, and we feel good about what we have done. A negative reaction from someone, can make us feel bad, and can even make us question our validity.
I’m still coming down off the gratitude cloud from last weekend’s OraclePalooza Virtual, and equally swimming in the searing truth of my best friend Doug’s crossing over the rainbow bridge a few short weeks ago. The entire weekend I was in two places as I stepped into one of many “firsts” without him. Being my wingman and emcee at OraclePalooza was the thing he loved best. It was strange to be without him although it was an important new beginning and I felt his spirit the entire time.
I miss the brave, real, loving human though. In the flesh with me backstage eating gluten-free snacks and giggling about how lucky we were to do what we did, and him crying reminding me that not everyone’s stuff was for me to take on. God, I love that man. What a pair we were.
Doug was with me for 16 deep meaningful and fun years of friendship, but what made it special is that we shared a mission. Those kinds of friends are gifts from the Divine.
As a lawyer turned writer, then as a creative turned business owner, not to mention as a plain old human being, I have often felt helpless. Flustered. And full of self-hatred and shame. I often assume, no, I know, that everyone else knows how to do everything just right-- and frankly this makes me sick.
But I am moving past “helplessness” and it’s like seeing the sun rise for the first time.
I want to take you with me. If you have ever felt inept as though you can’t run a business, write a screenplay, find a lover or an answer, or roll up your yoga mat evenly which, personally I think is a covert form of hell, I want to tell you a story about going past imaginary limits. It’s a story of self-forgiveness. It’s a story of hitting your full potential. Actually, it’s a story of folding a goddamn blanket. But it’s really a story of unfoldment, of how to teach yourself to do anything in this world you want or need to do.
I’d been visiting a friend who is a famous author and speaker and staying in her charming guest house in San Francisco. “What do you want me to do with the bedding?” I ask her, as I’m leaving early the next morning and won’t see her. “Oh, fold the blankets back up and leave it at the foot of the bed with the others,” she says casually. I try not to twitch or gasp. I was hoping she would say “Just leave it in a reckless heap like you leave everything. I’ll take care of it. I’ll be the good mommy.” But no such luck. I am on my own here. With bedding issues.
In the morning, I pack up and the only thing I need to do is face the dreaded task of “folding the blanket.” I stare at the crumpled outrage. Obviously, I was fighting Godzilla in my sleep. Then I study the other white blankets at the foot of the bed, deriding me, white cotton folded with German engineering, resting like smug doves.
My stomach clenches. I am going to screw this up. I am a screw up. I am going to create a lumpy, ugly, bulging inept pile that announces either raw disregard or reprehensible incompetence. I think about writing a note apologizing. I feel like an idiot. Folding things neatly. I missed that class in kindergarten. I was probably having a cigarette or a Jujube.
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