Imagine that you and your partner have gone out for the evening with another couple, or perhaps with a small group of close friends. Maybe you’re at an intimate bar, a dance place, or just out somewhere to dine.

The atmosphere and conversation are light; people are smiling, perhaps warmed by a glass of wine or two. A few hours pass, the time grows late, and the waiter – maybe hoping to start clearing the table – comes over with the check. He’s not sure who to hand it to, and so he stands there, feeling somewhat awkward.

For a moment, no one really wants to acknowledge that he’s there. Most of the party looks in every direction but his, knowing that accidental eye contact might be interpreted by him as accepting responsibility for the bill. We’ve all been “there” in these moments...and unless our bank account is so flush that we don’t care about the extra cost, and want to pay for the party, it’s a slightly uncomfortable experience.

“The depth of your sexuality is in direct proportion with the ability and degree to which you allow yourself to express and exchange love.”

Sexuality can often be a delicate and intense subject. For some, it can be a challenging experience, leaving you feeling deeply unsatisfied. But truly great sex will deepen the connection with your partner. Listen to this episode and learn how to view sex as a sacred exchange, letting it become more than a physical experience and becoming a true celebration of the infinite dance of life.

I write from observation, not imagination. Most of my writing is one page at a time, with only one to five words per line. The structure can look like poetry but has more to do with the physical limitations of a handwritten page and my desire to emphasize multiple meanings.

You can click here to read about my writing process.

How does it feel to be with a precious Beloved companion? No matter how far away, how close can you feel to someone near to your heart?

My words are only a reflection of the song my heart sings.
I delight in the beauty of love recognized.

One line is often all I need to capture an idea.

“THAT WHICH YOU ADORE, DOES NOT NEED TO BE CHANGED.” Will Hale 5-24-14

“Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.”
– Julie Andrews

How often have you said to yourself, “I have to take the time to do some Inner Bonding,” or “I’d better do my Inner Bonding work.”

If this is what you hear yourself say, it is your wounded self, trying to have control over getting you to do something that you think you ‘should’ do. Your wounded self likely sees Inner Bonding as a chore, something you ‘have to’ do to be okay. When this is your mindset about doing your inner work, then you might find yourself in resistance, because another aspect of your wounded self hates being told what you ‘should’ or ‘have to’ do.

The wounded self misses the point. Just as a diligent practice of playing the piano eventually gives you the freedom to play spontaneously, or the diligent practice of running gives you the freedom to run in a marathon, the diligent practice of Inner Bonding gives you the freedom to take loving care of yourself and bring yourself joy.

Some years back, I had the moving experience of working with Kevin (not his real name), a thirty-seven year old very talented branding artist we had hired to work on our website. From the moment I met Kevin, I knew he was a person I wanted to hire and work with. His demeanor was open, honest, caring and attentive. I had seen some of his work before speaking with him, and I was blown away by his creativity.

One evening, as we were having dinner, after working together for four solid days, I asked him how he had met his girlfriend. I had spent some time with Lila and Kevin and I was impressed with how loving they were with each other. They had been together for three and a half years.

If you’re a dog or a cat owner, you already have a strong spiritual bond with your pet. But is it really possible to have a two-way communication with them?

Animals are masters at telepathic communication. I hadn’t really appreciated just how much they psychically reveal their thoughts, feelings, emotions and health issues until I met with an animal communicator.

A few years back, I had a session with New England animal communicator Danielle MacKinnon and I was astonished at how much I learned. I was even able to ask Koda some questions through Danielle.

Here are some of Danielle’s tips to help you communicate with your pet:

1. If you want to talk with your pet, always ask for permission first. Remember to thank your pet after the session.
2. Keep your questions short and simple: “What’s bothering you?” “Do you like this?” Be as clear and concise as you can be.
3. Animals like to think in pictures. If you’re going out for a while, imagine sending a picture of a clock to your pet with the time you’re expecting to return. If you’re going away for a few days, imagine how many sunsets you’ll be away for.
4. Use your own body as a guide to connect with the body of your animal.  Ask your pet if it’s feeling all right, or if it’s experiencing any discomfort, then see if you’re feeling drawn to a certain area in your own body.

When you think about your intentions for 2020, is sexuality on the list?

Do you honor your sexuality as vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose? 

Many people think of sexuality as insignificant and separate from the rest of their lives. Some put sex (or solo self-pleasure) last on their to-do list. Others forget about it completely.

Sexuality is far more than what happens in the bedroom (or occasionally on the kitchen counter).  

Your sexuality impacts every aspect of your life, including your career, money flow, health, and spirituality. Honoring your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020.

My journey has been living proof that sexuality matters. Before I honored my sexuality, I was a workaholic who smiled on the outside yet secretly struggled with an eating disorder, severe self-doubt, and health issues. I was sad, single, sick, and stressed.

Embracing my sexuality helped me heal and create the life I wanted. With the help of my sexual energy, I healed long-standing health issues, manifested the romantic relationship of my dreams, transformed body image issues into body confidence, and created a thriving business that I love. And best of all, I now feel confident, happy, and free.

Do you feel worthy, valuable, adequate, lovable, and secure?

Or, do you feel unworthy, worthless, inadequate, unlovable, and insecure?

Do you believe that your inner child is worthy enough for you to take loving care of yourself, or do you believe that your inner child doesn’t have enough value to make him or her worthy of being loved by you or by God?

Very often, when I ask my clients why they don’t take loving care of themselves, their answer is “I’m not worthy of love. I have no value.”

I always feel so sad to hear this.

Happy New Year and if you are like me, chances are you have a list of goals, desires or intentions (hopefully written down on paper and shared with an accountability partner).

One of the lesser known manifestation tools is called “Acts of Faith.”

This is something you do when you are so trusting that your desire will be fulfilled, that you acquire something that you would want or need if the desire arrived right now.

For instance, if your desire is to meet and marry your soulmate a gigantic Act of Faith would be to buy your wedding dress now.

We all know what it feels like when we go into a new experience. A gathering of people we don’t know, some kind of new job that we’re employed in, or some kind of social situation where we don’t know the people, we don’t know the circumstances, et cetera. There is a sense of tension in the body because we don’t know how we’re going to be received. We’re afraid we won’t know what to talk about or we’re not sure that we’re going to be liked by others. We’re not sure that we’re going to be able to relate to the other people or be able to shine in the situation the way that we know we can.

Creating a Story

When the mind is in an uncertain place, it starts to rattle, and it starts to look everywhere for something to lock in on to feel more secure. When this happens the mind has a tendency to go into stories and judgments. It may judge the other people in the situation, or it will start to judge the self. It does this all in the attempt for the mind to have something upon which to focus.

What are you saying?

The Practice:
Speak wisely.

Why?

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Ah, not really.

Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said to you over the years – especially those said with criticism, derision, shaming, anger, rejection, or scorn – and the impacts they’ve had on your feelings, hopes and ambitions, and sense of yourself.

Words can hurt since the emotional pain networks in your brain overlap with physical pain networks. (The effects of this intertwining go both ways. For example, studies have shown that receiving social support reduces the perceived intensity of physical pain, and – remarkably – that giving people Tylenol reduced the unpleasantness of social rejection.)

Besides their momentary effects, these hurts can linger – even for a lifetime. The residues of hurtful words sift down into emotional memory to cast long shadows over the inner landscape of your mind.

Each year brings new lessons and opportunities for growth.

Each year you are given is a precious gift from the universe.

Each year is a new canvas that you get to create, a work of art that is your life.

It’s not the change of year that makes the difference but who you are being and what you bring to it.

So what will you bring to 2020 that was different than the year before.

And who will you be differently this year?

One of the most important aspects of Inner Bonding is opening to a compassionate intention to learn. I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion, and I’ve realized that compassion is often more than people think it is.

Compassion does include the standard definition: the ability to feel empathy with another or others who are suffering, to be moved by the suffering and to want to help alleviate it.

Loneliness is one of the “problems” with growing. Sometimes, in order to connect with yourself, you have to separate from what you’ve known. The aliveness of love will ruin your chances of stagnation. It will call you out. Success demands loss.  Sometimes, we have to let go of waning definitions, circumstances, or relationships that no longer reflect us so that we can blossom wide…

I’d Rather Lose a Friend, than Lose Myself

So I’m moving on. I’m taking that love with me. I’m no longer looking for support where it’s not. I’m also not making myself wrong for wanting support. I don’t care how brilliant you are on stage, how many trophies line your walls, or how much money you sock away in investments, this I know. We are all fragile, especially if we’re courageous. Those of us who continue to grow, continue to step out onto new ledges. We continue to move beyond what we have known into the beckoning of uncertainty.

Is love on a global scale, for oneself and others, possible? I believe it is, despite evidence to the contrary. Let’s face it. The current planetary paradigm that we inhabit is based in limitation. From a very early age, we are taught to curtail our heart’s desires for fear they will be crushed within a skewed social matrix that does not allow universal self-fulfillment and growth. Most social constructs in our world are organized on a top/bottom basis. Whether you are at the bottom or top, your life is limited by the very fact of inhabiting a limited paradigm. What would it take to shift that paradigm, to make it inclusive instead of exclusive? How about a complete transformation in global consciousness? Because until the collective consciousness changes, we are all caught in a web of limitation.

There is joyousness. Our beloved Baba has left his body, and he is no longer in pain. He has been released from this storyline.  

There is sadness. We no longer get the warm embrace of his loving awareness in the human form. The feeling I got when our eyes locked was that of pure liquid love. It was too much for me most of the time, I almost always wound up looking away before he did. But I will miss it dearly. I will miss him dearly.

When I heard the news last night, I immediately had to sit and meditate. As I settled into my first round of “Ram, Ram, Ram,” I felt tears streaking down my face. A thought popped right up into my head, “Well, I didn’t think I’d be this sad.” I thought I was ready for this; I’m sure many of us thought we were. 

The holidays can be so much be fun!

Trimming the tree, old familiar traditions and the warmth of our family and friends. Those are the holidays… in a perfect world.

But, how many people live in a perfect world?

During this time of year, many are overworked trying to create the perfect holiday.

Shopping, cooking, cleaning, juggling in-laws and traditions that feel never ending… and when the whole thing is over you’re left feeling tired, empty and unappreciated.

Does this sound familiar?

It’s important to remember that when family comes together, stress is often sure to follow.

Let’s put an end to that this year!

Do you know how to enjoy the holiday and remain stress free in your natural state of love?

The key is to take radical responsibility for YOUR OWN happy holiday!

Imagine what an impact that would have on your entire family.

When your spouse or love of your life sees you in a relaxed state of love, imagine what they will feel.

And what about your children and grandchildren? When they see you truly enjoying the season, imagine how much better the holiday will be for them.

Have you ever flown in an airplane and listened as they tell you that in the event of a crash, you should put your own mask on first?

The same principles apply here. If you’re not consciously living in your natural state of love, you can’t help anyone else live in theirs!

Taking radical personal responsibility for your own Happy Holiday will have far reaching effects.

You’ll feel more relaxed and appreciative of the beauty of the season and so will those you love most.

Let’s get started:

Have you ever seen a child fall and is urgently warned “Be careful” when it is already too late, the accident has happened?

To be careful, often sends a message to be cautious but be responsible for a future you cannot control.

Be careful, is telling you there is some danger and something you should do but not what to do.

More useful phrases give clear guidance. “Please watch where you are going.” or “Hang on to the railing when you walk up the stairs.”

It was too late to say be careful, when I found myself, kneeling by the side of my bed, braced on the nightstand for support. My lower back was in immense pain after sitting at my computer for 12 hours. I was afraid to move.

~~~

I allowed my body to find harmony, I gave my body time to restore balance.
I became aware of a sense of equilibrium.

Surrendering in the moment.

I had a beautiful revelation,

“I AM GENTLE WITH MYSELF.”

Slow with awareness is different from careful.

I am gentle with myself, is in the moment. It is caring, not careful

I care for myself when I am gentle with myself.

Gentleness is patient. Caring doesn’t rush. It is, simply
with what it loves.

Grace is soft
Grace is caring
Caring is kind

Be Gentle
With
Yourself

There are certain moments in life when you know that you need to have a difficult conversation and share a deeper truth.

Difficult conversations require more of you. They require that you dig within yourself and access a part of you that might have been dormant.

It’s not always easy sharing the truth of how you really feel with another. But it’s essential if you are to grow, be fulfilled and have real relationships.

Honest communication frees you and frees the other. When you withhold, it creates a blockage in your relationship and deeper intimacy is blocked.

We often hold back having difficult conversations because we are afraid of how others will respond and the resulting conflict.

Or we are afraid to cause harm to someone we love.

Or we fear the end of our relationship.

“My inner child is lonely and wants to be in a relationship, but relationships are too hard. I feel like I don’t want to work that hard,” Karen told me in a phone session.

“Are you ready to fully accept the loneliness of never being in a relationship?”

“No, that sounds too sad and awful. But why do relationships have to be so hard? I’ve worked on myself for years, yet even relationships with close friends are hard. It shouldn’t be that way.”

“Karen, they are hard because most of us come from families where we did not see our parents or other caregivers being open to learning with each other, especially during conflict. We saw them get angry, give in, withdraw, resist and turn to various addictions. So this is what most of us learned to do. Relationships challenge us to give up trying to control each other and instead open to learning with ourselves and each other, so we can share love. When two people are open to learning, relationships are not hard. What’s challenging is reaching the point where we can stay open to learning in the face of conflict.