The more we are here everyday, the more I know how divinely orchestrated all of this really is. I may sound like a broken record because I am continually reinforcing certain messages that have not been heard or have not been allowed to land. 

I love you. I don’t just love the parts of you that you put on display. I love the parts that you have an aversion to or that you resist. My loving you, at some point, has to translate into your ability to cultivate an inclusive relationship with yourself. 

You have been falsely led to believe that there are certain aspects of you that are wrong or bad. And, as a result, you have invalidated yourself from receiving. When I wrote the book You Are Enough, I didn’t write it purely as a self-help book, I wrote it as a way for humanity to get itself out of every impending challenging scenario and situation that I knew we were about to face. 

Former president Theodore Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What I say is, “Comparison is the fast track to misery.” I want you to take a minute and think about this. Have you ever compared yourself to someone else and came out exactly even? I doubt it. It never or rarely happens.

Today I’d like to teach you how to stop comparing yourself to others so you end up feeling great about yourself and what you do have in your life, instead of bad about what others have and you don’t. 

Comparison is Natural

We almost always compare ourselves to someone that we think is better, smarter, thinner, taller, shorter, more attractive, better dressed, more popular, more famous, wealthier, or more successful.

The kind of control that actually blocks our ability to access spirit is when we try to control what we can’t control – such as others’ feelings and actions, and outcomes of events. We also block our access to spirit when we try to control our own feelings with our various forms of self-abandonment – staying in our heads, judging ourselves, turning to addictions, and making others responsible for our worth and safety. All these attempts to control lower our frequency and make it very hard to access our guidance. We cut ourselves off from the ongoing flow of love and truth when we lower our own frequency through our own unloving thoughts and actions.
I often hear from clients that they have a hard time connecting with their spiritual guidance, and they wonder why. They also get confused about when controlling creates a problem and when it doesn’t.

If you hit your head and woke up in a hospital and the doctor said you lost your memory completely. What would you say? You wouldn't know your own name. Your past life is blank. "I am" is all that matters. Where do you exist?

Your thoughts, emotions, body and beliefs all influence your "identity." We put so much emphasis on our past when deciding who we want to be today. You are not your labels. You are not your past. You are not your identity. You are everything and nothing. Beyond death and birth, you are infinite!

Love is quite simply the most precious possession in existence. And my mission is to share the best insights I know to bring more love into each of your lives.

Today I want to share the most powerful way to create MORE LOVE in your life NOW.

These beautiful insights come from my dear friend Ken Page’s life-changing book Deeper Dating: The Powerful Path To Authentic Love.

If you want more love in your life, try this life-changing exercise from Ken:

Think about all the people you know, from your nearest and dearest to people you may not have thought about for years. And just ask yourself these three questions:

• Who truly loves me?
• Who sees and treasures me for who I really am?
• Whom do I trust to have my best interests at heart?

Each of the people you picked is gold. They are your personal dream-team in life.

One of our greatest challenges in relationships is to not get triggered into self-abandonment when others are unloving – to stay connected with ourselves rather than getting triggered into our wounded self.

Lila asks:

“When I find myself in an unfriendly situation, I find it a challenge to take loving action towards myself. Even if I know the other person has a wound they are living out, I still become hurt and instead of tending to myself I demand an apology or cry or get angry. It’s difficult to search my mind for the loving action towards myself in the heat of the moment. How do I stay with myself in these moments?”

This is about becoming conscious of your intent and healing some underlying false beliefs. You demand an apology or cry or get angry because your intent is to control the other person rather than to be loving to yourself. You have not come to terms with your big false belief that you can control how others feel. And you have not defined your own worth through your spiritual connection. You are handing to the other person the responsibility of making you okay – they have to apologize in order for you to be okay.

Deep spiritual work reveals the truth that hellish things on earth manifest as they do because their dark cause dwells hidden somewhere in us. We are about to look into this interior abyss and shine into its unseen corners a beautiful light of understanding. We will illuminate the center of the earth where dark forces are always celebrating some victory over unconscious human beings.  

Imagine the chief devil calling together every possible evil entity that is in range of his magnetic voice and saying, "How can we interfere up there? What can we do to further deceive human beings? We must keep them in the dark so they can't see the Light that wants to rescue them. I want something so evil, so sinister, that no one will know what happened. Who's got it?"  And the flames of all the little imps dim a little bit because they're afraid; but two days later, they all come back with a few ideas, although nothing spectacular. Then one tiny imp hops on the shoulder of the devil and whispers something in his ear. Great flames shoot out of the devil and sear the little imp who cries out "Thank you!" Then the devil exclaims, "Ah! I have the plan in hand!"  He looks around at all of his lieutenants, each of whom is assigned to certain individuals on earth, and gleefully instructs them: "I want you to go up there and spread the idea of tolerance.' Go tell the stupid human beings up there that they should start teaching the idea that the tolerance of others is the same as the love of them. Oh yes! This is my best deception yet! It's a real killer!" 

In my line of work the topic of “what if” comes up often in regards to past loves and the possibility of what could have been.

In this instance a person will glorify the positive attributes of a person they were with in the past. They also soften some of the elements that created the downfall in the relationship.

I can even relate to having instances of wondering what could have been with people I’ve never had encounters with.

I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened to me if I had dated the nice guys in high school. I guess we’ll never know.

The sad part about this is that either situation leaves a person to feel as if they could’ve change things or done something different. That that could have saved those relationships. And In essence they would be happier today if they had done those things.

It can be so hard when you see someone you love and care for stuck in patterns that aren’t working or are not healthy.

From the outside, it’s easy to clearly see what they are doing wrong or need to change. It can be even more frustrating especially if they are someone you are very close to like a family member.

Realize this: You don’t have the power to make another person change. People don’t change unless they really want to change. You only have the power to share your perspective, wisdom, and invite them to consider a different way of doing things.

When someone changes simply to make you happy, rest assured, it doesn’t last.

When the sun shines upon you
You are adored

When you breathe
You are adored

When I reflect on my path to this moment in time, I understand without a doubt that it was no accident. 

In the late 1990s, outside of mystical circles, there was little awareness of “Oneness” or the notion of “living into the Unity of all of Life,” and I felt certain this was a root cause of the challenges our world was facing. 

I believed then (and still do) that there can be no true wholeness, health and well-being in the world as long as there are so many people who feel separate from others and from the Earth itself.

Even though these things were clear to me at that time, I wasn’t yet sure how to best address them in a meaningful way.

In 1999, I was sitting in my office in Silicon Valley, wondering what role I might be able to play in creating a U-turn into a more conscious world. 

I’d co-founded a company called Netigy, and at that time, Netigy occupied a 45,000 square-foot building and had leased another 90,000 square-foot building next door to support our future growth… 

And while I was definitely tasting the American Dream, it was already clear to me that this was not what my life was to be about.  

I had just finished a music performance at a preschool in Minneapolis. The children were playing on the playground while I was loading my car. Lucy who is barely three was standing by the chain link fence with her hand reaching out to me. As I walked over to her, she gently said, “Here, this is for you.” “You can take it home.”

What else could I say except “Thank You!” Doing my best to echo the sweet sincerity that the tiny white pebble from the playground was given.

The object had no intrinsic value, but the gift was priceless.
Kings cannot possess riches as precious as the generosity of Lucy’s pebble.

Rabindranath Tagore, Bengali poet and Nobel Prize winner, is quoted as saying, “Only in love are unity and duality not in conflict.”

In one sense, this concept seems so easy to grasp, so simple and so obvious, especially to those of us leading a conscious, intentional life.

But our world, on a global scale, needs a reminder.

Much of the strife we experience and witness today is because of ideas of false separation, ones that enable people to behave in ways that dehumanize, exploit, and divide.

But together, we who live in Oneness and with the Divine energy of the Universe working through us, can be a collective force for change.

Take a deep breath in and for a moment imagine the ideal world where everyone understands Oneness and Love is the great motivator…

Then imagine thousands and thousands of people coming together from all over the globe to hold this intention, to expand awareness, to change the frequency, to hit the metaphorical reset button.  

This is, in fact, the focus of “The Power of Love: Resetting Humanity to a New Way of Living on the Earth,” the 11th annual Global Oneness Summit and the first-ever International Shout Out Love Day…

The Divine, God, Infinite Intelligence, Infinite Light and Love, cannot wait to be fully manifest in human form. You are that human. You are that being. We are here at this moment in human history to finally allow ourselves to end the opposition to ourselves at the level of our emotions, at the level of our body, at the level of our mind, and at the level of life and living. 

The more we are able to come into profound acceptance and love of self, the more we open up to this universal love that we have come here to share. 

You see, you’re not the problem. You never have been. It’s just that you’ve been looking for validation and approval outside of you. And, for the most part, you’ve been looking for validation, love and approval, from people who don’t validate themselves, love themselves, or approve of themselves. And herein lies the rub; in your showing up, as the totality of who you are, the message that gets reinforced externally all around you is that you are not enough, that there’s something wrong with you, that you need to be healed, that you’re broken in some way. 

After almost seventy years, I confess that though I have struggled I have never been lost and have never stopped loving—everything. And this has enabled me to inhabit life authentically. In the beginning, there were goals I was taught to work toward and these longings for worth were honed in time into personal ambitions, which all fell away. For staying true to the love of everything as our teacher has turned out to be the most enduring ambition of all. This love has made me get up when I have fallen, and has given me the strength to enter the breaks in my heart where I have retrieved my gifts. And so, I have very little to offer beyond the confirmation that unending love without preference will lead us to drink from the Mystery without leaving the world. Unending love without intent will fill every contour of existence the way light fills every hole. So, there is very little to teach. Just that love awakens everything. And care erases the walls we build between us.

It is very common for people to latch onto specific labels and diagnosis and attempt to determine what is “wrong” with someone in their life. Narcissism is one such label and diagnosis that is used by people to describe people who may show signs of being selfish, uncaring, or lacking in empathy, compassion, and understanding of others.

Around the world, the number of individuals with true narcissism, or more correctly those with narcissistic personality disorder, is less than one percent of the population. The chances of most people interacting with a true narcissist are very low, and everyone’s ex-spouse is certainly not a narcissist.

However, many mental health experts propose that there is a spectrum or a range of behaviors or traits individuals may use throughout their life that are associated with narcissism. How frequently these traits crop up, when they occur, and if the individual continues to use the behavior is critical in making a diagnosis.

The Narcissist in Us All 

It’s hard to believe we’re now in our sixth month of quarantine life. Just the notion of this is getting us more antsy and anxious. The new school year has begun and our worries are compounding, whether it’s centered around the safety of our teachers and students heading back into the classrooms or how much longer we have to wait before some normalcy comes back into our lives.

But while your outside world is full of uncertainty, there is one resource you can always rely on, one constant force that will throw you a lifeline and keep you afloat during these chaotic times—your Soul!

Your soul is always connected to a Higher Source. (When I talk about “Source” I mean God, the Universe, or a Higher Consciousness – call it what you will.) This is the power that will move you beyond feeling trapped, constrained, unfulfilled or alone.

I know that many of you are concerned about what’s going on right now in the world and in your own life. Whatever it may be: fear, uncertainty, injustice, intolerance, financial worry, relationship troubles, or health concerns. Maybe you’re feeling like you don’t belong anywhere or you’re losing hope. Maybe you want some answers to the many questions filling your head: What can I do? Why am I here? How do I get out of this mess? It’s important at times like these to remain connected to your soul. When you are connected to your soul – you are linked to a higher power.

There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to be fixed, healed or changed. You are love itself. At some point, we have to begin to question the conditioning that has been superimposed over the pristine love that we have come here to be. 

You’re not here to get rid of everything. You’re here to love everything. And in loving everything, you are here to reveal the divinity that lives inside of you so powerfully that your presence alone serves as a reminder to every human being that they too are a divinity personified. 

For far too long, we have lived in this false notion of God being separate, apart, and different than us. We have been conditioned to believe that we are unworthy, that there is something wrong with us, that we are broken, that we need to be healed and improved. All of that has served as a mechanism through which humanity has been disempowered. 

Do you want to love your inner child when you are in pain, or do you reject and abandon yourself in the face of your painful feelings?

Lauren, a client of mine, has been practicing Inner Bonding for a number of years but she was still resistant to taking emotional responsibility for herself. She thought she was taking care of herself because she treated herself to massages, got places on time, exercised regularly, was kind to people and mostly took care of money matters. But when it came to her painful feelings, she abandoned herself by projecting on to others and blaming them when they didn’t do what she wanted, and pulling on them for attention. She also avoided responsibility for her feelings by eating junk food.

It became apparent when working with her that she was addicted to others validating her and making her feel special because she rejected and abandoned herself – her inner child – when she was in pain. She would do anything to avoid feeling her painful feelings and learning how she was causing them. Unable to compassionately manage the inevitable pain of life, she stayed focused in her mind rather than her body where her feelings are. Judging her feelings as wrong, she turned to various addictions, and she made others responsible for her feelings – rejecting herself in all of the four major ways we abandon ourselves.

Boundaries are similar to the rules that govern how a person interacts with the world around them. People with no boundaries do not follow typical relationship rules when interacting with people in their personal and professional lives. They may overshare personal information or not share anything, or they may constantly take advantage of others or feel very isolated and separated from others.

Relationships also have boundaries or limits. In a healthy relationship, the couple establishes their boundaries with a sense of mutual concern for each other’s emotional, mental, and physical health. When boundaries are lacking in a relationship, often due to issues such as addictions, mental health issues, abuse, or other factors, there is no balance. One person dominates the relationship while the other person feels pressured to give in.