It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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You Don’t Really Know Someone Until You Have Conflict

Do you sometimes wonder if you really know the person you are dating?

People often ask me how they can know whether or not someone they are dating is really an open and caring person.

“He seems open and caring, but how can I know? My last guy seemed really open until we started living together and then he was always angry. I don’t want that to happen again,” said Kiera in a phone session.

“Have you and your boyfriend had significant conflict yet?”

“No, we’ve only been dating for two months.”

“Two months is generally not long enough to know whether or not someone is open and caring. And you can’t really know until you have a conflict and you see how he responds. You need to know if he uses anger, withdrawal, resistance, arguing, explaining, defending, compliance and so on. And, if he does these protective things, how long does it last? Some people get immediately closed, but then in half an hour or so they open and are ready to learn and resolve. Others can stay closed for days, weeks or even longer. Of course, it’s ideal when someone is immediately able to stay open to learning in conflict, but most people haven’t done the inner work to be able to do this. However, if they open sooner rather than later, then things can be worked out. But if they want to sweep things under the rug and act like nothing happened, or stay distant until you apologize, this isn’t good news.”

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Dating In The Time Of Coronavirus

Dating is an integral part of socialization for single adults of all ages. The sudden escalation and impact of coronavirus around the world have created a challenge for those who are just starting in a relationship or those who perhaps have finally made the decision to start dating again.

There are some very important issues to consider with the very real presence of the coronavirus. Experts in public health and epidemiology recommend social distancing is a key factor in not only preventing contact with the virus but also in limiting the spread of the virus throughout the population.

Social distancing is particularly crucial for those in high-risk groups or individuals living with or working with people in high-risk groups. The high-risk groups identified currently include those over 65 years of age, anyone living in a nursing home, people with chronic health issues, those immunocompromised from cancer treatments, organ transplants or other diseases, and those with pre-existing health issues related to lung disease, heart conditions, diabetes, or chronic types of illnesses.

Family members of these individuals or those who provide healthcare or daily care services for these groups need to be especially careful. The general public also has to be very aware of how their interactions with each other increase the risk of the high-risk groups being exposed to one or more people carrying the virus.

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Love and Order

“To bring about change, you must not be afraid to take the first step. We will fail when we fail to try." – Rosa Parks

I've Been Thinking...

It was just a few short weeks ago that I wrote that I didn’t think we were going back to “normal.

At the time, it had dawned on me that the pandemic had uprooted us in ways big and small and that those yearning to go back to the way things used to be were in for a surprise. I had no idea how uprooted we were about to get.

This past week, millions watched as America’s streets and cities erupted across the nation. Huge peaceful protests called for an end to police brutality and for overdue systemic change. For a moment, the message seemed to get drowned out by images of violence and looting, which left people deeply shocked and shaken. Elected officials called in the National Guard and imposed mandatory curfews. Meanwhile, citizens in these cities stepped in to clean up the mess. More importantly, though, citizens stepped up to show us the opportunity and the importance of this historic moment.

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How To Deal With Difficult Parents

"Your parents may not be perfect human beings, as they too are souls on this journey of life and are here to learn lessons like you.”

Relationships with parents can be challenging. Whether you have an amazing relationship or a difficult relationship with your parents, there are a few things to consider if you want to transform your relationship. In this episode, I’ll share some deep thoughts and possibly a different perspective that will help you live a life that is more joyful and meaningful for you and your relationship with your parents.

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Tending to the ‘Inner Garden’

When we moved to our home in Colorado 13 years ago, my wife Stephanie and I decided to plant a vegetable garden.


This season we’re growing arugula, cucumbers, peas, radishes, tomatoes, and mint.

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What About Love?

“How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?”
—Jonathan Larson

Your mind can’t comprehend it, and your heart can’t absorb it: Sudden death—and the fear, pain, and anger that accompany it. Yet another African American man, George Floyd, murdered by a white police officer. Hundreds of thousands of lives cut short by a virulent worldwide virus. In the U.S. and internationally, thousands protest in the streets against years and years of racism, violence, and injustice. As COVID-19 circles the globe, people lose relatives and friends, their jobs and homes; immigrants are again targeted and blamed. Grief. Anger. Is this how life is going to be from now on? It is unless we make the conscious choice to change it. It is until we see our neighbors as ourselves.

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Ways to Strengthen Marriages & Partnerships during COVID-19

Due to the pandemic, couples are finding they have more time together. Working from home, a lack of late-night meetings, a reduction in travel – all of these combined have meant more time to connect with our significant others. People who are intentional to use this time wisely are shutting off their television at night and working to create greater intimacy with their partner. Meaningful conversation, working together on projects around the house, making meals together, playing games, and having intimate romantic connection are all ways to use this time to benefit your relationship.

When children are involved there’s a secondary layer of stress added. Couples need to remember that this is a time of great stress, and that their (and their partner’s) reaction to everything is likely to be heightened.

It is not uncommon for relationships to struggle under the strain of the pandemic, the economy, general stress of life, knowing how and when to reengage in society safely, loss of jobs, homeschooling and more. However, I believe there are ways to keep relationships strong and healthy during these times. Rather than simply survive this crisis, I advise couples to use this as an opportunity to grow in deeper connection with each other.

Here are 6 tips to strengthen relationships with significant others:

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Do You Feel Seen and Valued?

Earlier in my life I didn’t feel seen by others. Since I never felt seen by my parents, I figured this was just the way it was in life. While sometimes I felt sad or angry at not being seen, I mostly just accepted it.

However, once I started to practice Inner Bonding and connect with my spiritual guidance, I gradually learned to see and value myself—my true essence. Over the years of practicing Inner Bonding, I grew less and less tolerant of not being seen by others.

 

I questioned this with my guidance…

“Why, since I now see myself so clearly, it is it still important to me to be seen by others? I thought that if I saw myself, I wouldn’t need to be seen by others.”

Here is her answer to me:

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Terrapin

I saw myself swimming in a river of deep blues and greens. The shape of the water reminded me of a swimming spot in my childhood. There was a sense of freedom and anticipation surrounding me. Every moment felt familiar.

I began to notice an energy that was coming from outside my vision. This new energy allowed a connection to memories of the previous life. Eternity began to swirl through my mind. The change brought a calm that surrounded me. While loosely observing my thoughts of creation, I felt a strong presence. My vision quietly revealed who was sharing this moment with me. We communicated without words.

I began to swim to the beautiful creature that was sharing such kindness and wisdom. I reached out and touched a giant terrapin. His shell looked like it was made of earth. The message to me was one of love and patience. I rested my forehead on his cheek. Through this touch, I was able to feel our entire world and so much more. I was shown how humanity is being guided deeper through the universe’s passage to eternal wisdom. I understood I had to wait and be patient. There will be many of us discovering our true connection. We will find each other, but first we must understand our personal power. Only then can we patiently have space for others.

I knew without a doubt that the ancient creature was a teacher for the whole of humanity. The message was clear. All animals, humans, and Mother Earth are connected through the energy that flows through our souls. We are all one, we are all equal.

The wise one encouraged me to trust my instincts and recognize that healing can occur even in darkness and confusion. Instinctively, I knew the turtle was returning to a place on earth that needed his wisdom and love. Higher power comes in all forms, males, females, rocks, plants, or animals.

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Hug the Monkey

Longing for love?

The Practice:
Hug the monkey.

Why?

To simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to three major stages of vertebrate evolution:

  • Reptile – Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms
  • Mammal – Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards
  • Primate/human – Neocortex, focused on attaching to “us”

Since the brain is integrated, avoiding, approaching, and attaching are accomplished by its parts working together. Nonetheless, each of these functions is particularly served and shaped by the region of the brain that first evolved to handle it.

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How To Deal With Disagreements with Those You Love

“When you don't let your loving be dependent on the agreement of the viewpoint, you're free to keep loving"

Experiencing disagreements with those that we love is a natural part of being human. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, but it can be a deep source of pain, especially with those you love. In this episode, I explore the possibility of seeing a new perspective, where even if you both have a different viewpoint, they can still come from the best intentions.

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Have you found the missing Peace?

Anxiety...uncertainty... unease

When you experience these emotions, you are not in the high frequency state of peace.

Those feelings are indicators that you have unconscious programs – beliefs, ideas and stories – that need to be corrected.

Is there some aspect of your life that you’re not at peace with?


Have you ever wondered what’s preventing you from living in the high frequency of peace?

The core low frequency blocker to peace is unforgiveness. 

Until you activate your soul’s superpower of forgiveness you have set yourself up for anxiety and a whole range of diseases and physical and mental challenges. A Harvard study showed that holding a grudge can kill you.

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True, fascinating story of the origin of Love Letter From God

Before I tell you an extraordinary story, read this:

Love Letter from God

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone — to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says:

“No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me — exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing — one that you can’t imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you . . . You must wait.

Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given to them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working even this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and with the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me…and this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly, I am God. Believe it and be satisfied.

Love,

God

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Stuffing Emotions! Any of You Do That?

What have you been stuffing? What have you been noticing? How do you stuff your emotions? What does it look like to you?

Are you noticing what your emotions are? Do you know what it is you’re stuffing in the first place? Is it anxiety? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Is it the unknown? Is it pressure? Is it fear? What is the emotion that you are stuffing?

And then how are you stuffing them?

Food and booze?

Do you not express emotions because you cannot take words back?

Yes, you cannot take words back, but what you can do is move that energy out of your body.

You can move the energy out of your body.

You have a right to the way you feel. I’m not saying you should hold onto those feelings and let them take you down, but I’m saying that you have a right to how you feel and you have a right to express how you feel. BUT it may not be that you need to express it to the people you think you need to express it to.

Because what you need to express is about how YOU feel. It’s not about somebody else.

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Three Wishes For The World

“We all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing." -Louisa May Alcott

I've Been Thinking...

The other day, I went on one of my “walk and talks.” These are socially distant walks that I take in the late afternoon, either alone or with friends who also like to walk, talk, dream, ponder, and wonder about life. 

I often walk with my friend Simon, an optimist and an astute student of leadership. 

The other day, we were walking and talking about Simon’s online courses (you can learn more here and follow him on Instagram, too) and his upcoming podcast, when we came upon two other guys we both know. We stopped to chit chat, and just as we were about to leave, one of the guys said: “I’d like to ask you both a question. What are your three wishes for our country and the world right now? They don’t have to be achievable, but what are they?” 

“Wow!” I thought to myself. I figured he was just going to ask which restaurants had good takeout service or something, but hey, okay. I knew I’d need a few minutes to think about how to answer. 

Simon’s three wishes popped out immediately.

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The Art Of Sacred Self-Love

May is International Masturbation Month.⁠ All month we celebrate the beauty and art of self-pleasure (also known as sacred masturbation). ⁠Do you allow yourself to enjoy pleasure? Pleasure nourishes your body and lights up your soul. 
Your body LOVES to be touched - by YOU.⁠ ⁠Are you lavishing your body with LOVE? ⁠

Self-pleasure is normal, natural, and one of the best ways to light your sexual fire. It boosts your self-love, happiness, health, and vitality.

Waiting on a partner to satisfy you is so out-of-style. You have the power to satisfy yourself! You can bring yourself earth-shattering pleasure and mind-blowing sex through solo self-pleasure. When you exercise that power, it will work magic in your life, including your confidence, health, happiness, career, and romantic relationship.
 

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How To Set Your Boundaries and Honor Your Needs

...... Setting your boundaries with people in your life is never an easy task.

However, in order to do so, you must know who you are and what your needs are.

In my new video, I share some simple ideas that will help you honor yourself and your needs more authentically.


How do you set your boundaries with loved ones?

How do you honor your needs and also set your boundaries while honoring your relationships with others?

In this video, I discuss how to set boundaries with the people you live with so everyone's needs can be met. With everyone on lockdown, this has become more important than ever. You want to use this time to get closer to loved ones, not farther away.

End the Pain of Getting in Your Own Way

You know what it means to get in your own way, don't you? It is a true phenomenon.

Try to picture this: I'm walking down the street and then I run into myself… how can I run into myself unless I'm divided in such a way that in any given moment I’m on my way to do what something in me says is going to make the moment right, then I run into what the moment says will make it right… and I have a crash?


Here’s a little story to illustrate this idea of getting in our own way:

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Wabi Sabi Quarantine

Wabi Sabi is the ancient Japanese aesthetic of seeking to discover beauty and perfection in imperfection. It seeks to find the beauty in things that are old, worn, imperfect or impermanent.

When we are in a situation beyond our control, and are finding ourselves highly annoyed or frustrated with someone’s behavior, that is the time to practice Wabi Sabi Love: this is about having a shift in perception and making up a new and empowering story about whatever you are perceiving as broken, wrong, or just not right.

For those of us that are stressed out, frustrated or are experiencing extreme cabin fever from the quarantine, finding the beauty and perfection in the imperfection can be a challenge.

I could make a long list of all the things I don’t like about being quarantined, but now that we are in week seven, I think for me, the good things are beginning to outweigh the bad.

By digging deep into my spiritual toolkit I have been practicing things I’ve often talked about but never really had to deal with….like turning fear into love and transforming judgement into compassion. The latter being the most difficult.

As I have watched many people filling social media with wild conspiracy theories, I find myself pinging back and forth between outrage and wanting to fix them.

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You have the power to choose happiness - change your code!

Do you ever find yourself thinking if only…

If only I were thinner 

If only I had been born into wealth

If only life weren’t so hard, then I could be happy.

Dear ones, let me tell you…

That isn’t how happiness works.

In fact, they are low frequency codes that destroy your ability to shift your state in order to feel happy. 

We’ve known wealthy people who were cloaked in depression.

We’ve known beautiful people who couldn’t stand to look at themselves in the mirror. 

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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