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How to Raise Your Self-Esteem in Two Steps

It is my personal opinion that most people are unnecessarily insecure. These insecurities can hold people back from being truly happy, and living life to the fullest. Where do these insecurities come from? How can we become more confident?


The need for the approval of others is one of our first learned behaviors. As we started life, many of us learned that we received our parents love when we did things that pleased them. We were met with negativity, or not as much love, when we did things that upset them. Our parents were the gods of our universe at that time, and their love was not only desired instinctually, but was necessary for our survival.

As we move out into the world as individuals, we still feel that the acceptance and praise of others keeps us validated, and defines us as meaningful contributors to society. So this means that a large motivator for doing anything is the expectation of positive feedback from someone else.


When we receive praise, we allow it to lift us up, and we feel good about what we have done. A negative reaction from someone, can make us feel bad, and can even make us question our validity.


People's responses to outside stimulus are based mostly on unconscious neurological brain patterns. In other words, positive or negative judgments are not based on any valid truth. We have low self-esteem because we’ve allowed this to define us as people.

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How Learning to Say ‘No’ May Save the Good Standing of a Relationship

As people we are fundamentally wired to want to help others. It is an experience that has the power to open our hearts and raise us up. That is why I find working in the service industry is so gratifying. I find every opportunity to help others in any capacity to be a catalyst to more joy and contentment. I also make it a point to serve selflessly when ever possible.

 

There is a gap between the good intentions for helping and the physical follow through. These are two very different things that may get confused as the same during the beginning stages of helping another.

 

With today’s busy lifestyles and constant communication stimulus, it is easy for our words to lose meaning and our promises to lie empty. The cause of this is partially the fact that we are multi-tasking and not grounded. i.e. Noticing a text while driving and forgetting that it ever happened and never responding because driving safely is much more of a priority. We are not being present with our communications.

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A Gateway to a New Expression: Self Love….

I have always been under the belief that “self love” is selfish…this is not true!   I was brought up in a family of 7 which included my parents and I tended to the younger siblings quite often as my Mom always did for everyone else but not herself.  I am sure this contributed to my belief system  of putting  yourself first is selfish.  I also was under the influence of the church that it was better to give than receive and I felt quilty when I did receive.  Most of my life I would seemingly  put other peoples needs before mine.  I  believe the resentment I have felt was because I didn’t nurture myself, but I was an expert at nurturing others.  After all it is much easier to tend to others than yourself!

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Louise Hay’s Mirror Work for more LOVE

It’s hard to imagine a world without Louise Hay in it…she transitioned last week on August 30th – exactly two years after her longtime friend Wayne Dyer passed.

 

For decades, I have admired Louise and looked up to her as my icon for spiritual growth, and aging gracefully and powerfully.

 

I loved her fierce courageousness, her willingness to do and say the right thing with the causes that called to her, and her brilliance, personal style and joie de vivre always inspired me.

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How To Know When To End Your Relationship

Relationship is about growth.

We come together in relationship with another for our evolution and growth.

The people you attract are simply mirror manifestations in that moment in time that reflect who you are.

Relationship is really not about the duration that you stay with someone, but the degree to which you both grow, evolve, and become more authentically your true Self.

Staying in a relationship where you are both no longer growing simply because that is the thing to do based on societal standards, or because you made a commitment years ago, is not success.


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Turning Cranky into Happy

I am not sure if it’s the eclipse energy from last week, or the constantly bad news on TV, or Mercury Retrograde, or what, but I have been feeling a bit cranky lately.

 

So, I have been digging deep into my spiritual tool-kit.

 

This morning, I added extra lavender to my bath, while doing rounds of  EFT tapping on “I’m cranky and I totally and completely love myself.”

 

On the way to the grocery store, I listened to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, which was uplifting, and I spent a long time cuddling on the back deck with my cat Max.

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Total Eclipse

Every eclipse of the sun represents symbolically the activation of a frightened part of your personality. While that part is active, it obstructs the experience of your love, which is represented symbolically by the sun. Yet in the midst of that obstruction there is a great deal of power and beauty that is visible physically in a total eclipse of the sun.

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LOVE – it’s Never Too Late!

My deepest knowing is this:  There is MORE than enough love in the world for everyone, especially YOU!

Regardless of your age, weight, circumstances, history or location, I know that if you have the desire for heart opening, mind-blowing, soul-stirring love, then it is meant to be yours.

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How To Deal With Difficult Parents

You have the perfect parents for your soul’s growth and evolution in this lifetime.

Your parents may not be perfect human beings, as they too are souls on this journey of life and are here to learn lessons like you.

Relationships with parents can be some of the most challenging and difficult to navigate.


Ask yourself: What are the lessons that your soul is seeking to learn with them?

They give birth to you, raise you, and impact so much of who you become.

They simply did the best that they knew how to do at that time of their lives, even though it may not have been what you wanted.

It’s highly unlikely they woke up each day thinking about how they could cause you the most suffering. Likely they were in pain themselves.

Hurt people tend to HURT other people, and the cycle continues.

You can break the cycle and take your power back.

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How to Shift the Patterns of Inferiority For Ourselves and Others

The moment we become aware of the darker workings of the ego and realize that we exist outside of it, we become conscious. This begins the process of recreating our reality and life experience.

 

I, like so many others had developed an inferiority complex due to the misjudgments and misconception my mind had formed around certain experiences of abuse. Once the belief had formed in the back of my mind that I was worthless and unimportant, it started to project it onto other people as a way to reinforce it. Subconsciously they would be prompted to validate these misconceptions. In some cases it just seemed that way.

 

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5 Ways to Embrace Your Body and Love the Skin YOU’RE In

It’s that time of year. A time when you think about your body… and wish it were different. Or … maybe it is always that time of year for you.

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Healing Power of Gratitude

Ready to feel better and heal faster?  Many scientific studies, including research by renowned psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, have found that people who consciously focus on gratitude experience greater emotional well-being and physical health than those who don’t.

 

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How do we move past feelings of inadequacy when it comes to loving ourselves and others?

The term “love” is used by many people. Most of the time when they use the term love, they are talking about romantic love. They are talking about love that is fused with need, and if you look at the process of falling in love, it’s an interesting process.


You have a heart that is love, but it’s closed to you by your own mind. So you’re like a hungry ghost, looking all the time.


Then you meet somebody, and they have a key that fits in a lock that opens you to your own heart, and you think, “I am in love.”

 

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Choosing “Different”

Life at its most fulfilling and expansive is not about fitting in or aspiring to socially promoted goals like a 24/7 career, with accompanying big money, house, car, and investments. It’s also not about finding one “perfect” soul mate and living happily ever after. That’s the Cinderella story they keep trying to get women to buy into so that we forget that who we really are is Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman who has her own unique, independent soul and doesn’t need anyone to make her life perfect. This applies to men looking for one mate to fulfill them too. We are not half-humans searching for the missing part to make us whole. Nor are we necessarily one gender, one expression, one role, or one anything. We are so much more.

 

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When plans go Awry? (Ditch the plans!)

This week has been so rich with ups and downs I must have meditated at least 3 times daily just to keep myself sane. My oracle cards were also on point so nothing really came as a surprise when Chaos and Conflict, Not For You, was followed by more of the same. I think I chose the card with the saying “ not my circus, not my monkeys” four times over 5 days.

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If You’re Looking to Strengthen Your Family, This Message Is For You.

Family has always been the most important part of my life. It’s what brings me joy. It’s what gives me strength. It’s what gives me purpose. And, yes, it’s what gives me an identity.

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How do we break the chain of reactivity with those around us?

As one cultivates more and more of the levels of the strudel, then one sees the whole level of interpersonal relationships as just one level. When I first started to awaken, I would come home to visit my family and my father would say to me, “Do you have a job?” He didn’t ask me if I was the Buddha, or if I was enlightened, and I would get very angry at him because he had caught me in a place where he made the plane real, and I said, “I cannot stay around my family, they bring me down.” Later when I would come home more strong in my faith and inner connections, my father would ask me the same questions, and I would, in the quietness of my being, appreciate his concern and the worldview that he held without becoming reactive, and so my response would not be reactive, and it responded instead to the deeper connection that we had, and it would open the dialogue in a new way.

It is up to the most conscious person in the situation to break the chain of reactivity.

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My 9 Step Process to Heal the Heart

In healing my own heart, I’ve found that there’s an evolutionary process that occurs as I move from awareness to appreciation. I’ve broken this process down into nine steps so that you can recognize where you are currently and then see where you can move to. I will be using my own life experiences as examples of how you can use these steps to open up, ask for help from the Archangels, and allow healing into your heart. By witnessing my journey from beginning to end, it is my hope that you can take what fits for you, relate it to your own present or past circumstances, and reach a place where true healing is realized. This is my process of self-love and forgiveness.

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How To Stop Being Over Responsible For Others

Everyone has their own unique soul’s journey.

You may not understand it and you may not agree with it.

It doesn’t really matter. It’s their soul’s journey.

Perhaps you love and care for your child, grandchild, spouse, friend so much that you don’t want them to suffer in any way. And so you end up doing too much to help them.

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I LOVED my kids… BUT being A Mom Wasn’t Enough

When I first had children, they were my whole world … literally …

MY

WHOLE

WORLD

My life revolved around being a mother. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, but man, as my son got older, it got tougher. I was worn out from the daily battles … but, I was a “good mom“.

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