It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Learning to Trust in Relationships

The pandemic has created new rules for dating, with more people relying on technology to start relationships. When it comes to finding love and maintaining strong bonds, however, one thing has not changed: the need to establish trust.

Whether it’s romantic, friendly, professional, or familial, trust is essential in any relationship. Yet it can be difficult to establish and maintain trust. Many people carry emotional baggage from painful experiences in the past that prevent them from trusting others. Signs of lack of trust may include:

  • You aren’t sure you matter to the other person.
  • You have nagging doubts that your spouse or partner really loves you.
  • When they seem distant, you imagine it must be because of you (even though it may have nothing to do with you).
  • You fear you’ll be dumped at any time.
  • You find yourself fixating on these feelings.


If you have a persistent fear of being left or dumped, this may undermine the foundations of any type of relationship. If you feel lack of trust is a big problem for you that requires counseling, please seek it out. But if you’re simply looking to strengthen a relationship and increase your ability to love and trust, here are some things you can try:

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3 Blocks To Love and How to Let Them Go

Love is the foundation of human existence. Songs, novels, movies, poetry have been written about the subject of Love. As human beings, we are on an eternal quest of seeking love. Whether we are conscious of it or not, life becomes a process of this quest and seeking. So what blocks us from achieving this quest for love? What are the secrets to finding love in life? In this episode, I will share the three blocks to love and how to let them go, for good.

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Life of Care

As a fire needs wood, the soul needs care to burn strong and bright. And just as it doesn’t matter what kind of wood is given to the fire, the soul doesn’t value one form of care over another. Any act of care will make the soul come alive through us. And since all things are worthy of care and in need of care, any ground of experience we devote ourselves to will brighten our aliveness—in us and between us. Simply and profoundly, as a fire needs wood, the soul needs care to thrive.

A Question to Walk With: Describe a form of care that feeds your soul. What role does this have in your life?

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What Do You Do When Someone Hurts You?

When I was a very young child, I quickly learned to jump out of myself whenever my mother was angry at me – which was often. Her anger was very scary to me and I wanted to get her to stop. Sometimes I felt so crushed and shattered by her anger that I felt like I was going to die. So I would jump out of myself to try to please her, hoping that this would get her to like me instead of hate me.

Of course, I continued doing this in my marriage, as my husband’s anger scared me just as much as my mother’s. I didn’t realize that any time I went out of myself instead of going inside and tending to my own feelings (which I couldn’t do as a child and didn’t know how to do as a young adult) I was abandoning myself.

Today I’m so grateful that I know how to go in instead of go out. 

I want to share with you exactly what I do now.

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Finding Empowerment in Your Personal Beauty

Today many women feel inadequate in comparison to the beauty standards of today's society. The media bombards us with the idea that we are not enough as we are. We are not thin enough, our lashes aren't long enough and are hair is missing texture. It is suggested that signs of aging decrease our value as people, and must be compensated for by the newest wrinkle cream on the market.

I consider myself to be a conscious person. I reserve the right to have my own feelings, and thoughts about things. I don't allow the influence of propaganda to make me buy Tide detergent. I have, however, allowed my mind to believe that I am substandard, in comparison to other women in the world.

This idea or belief is constantly in the back of my mind, creating pain and diminishing the quality of my life. When I see an ad for makeup, or a high-fashion magazine spread, the first thought that floods my mind, is always the same; " I don’t look like that, and looking like that is what will make me desirable, and loved by others." In the back of my mind, I have a belief that, as long as other women look that way, I would never be anybody's first choice.

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How To Deal With Letting Go of Friends That You Love

We come together in relationship with another for our evolution and growth.

The people you attract are simply mirror manifestations in that moment in time that reflect who you are.

The friends that you attract to you reflect your current level of consciousness.

You attracted friends into your life because at that time you were a vibrational match and you had certain lessons to teach each other.

The success of a friendship isn’t about the duration that you stay friends with someone, but the degree to which you both grow, evolve, and become more authentically your true Self.

Staying in a friendship where you are both no longer growing simply because of obligation, guilt, or because you made a commitment years ago, is not success.

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Love At The Deepest Level

You are a blessing on this Earth. You are a miracle. You as you are right now, regardless of how you have lived your life, are loved completely and totally by God. You, in the moment, are complete.

The reason why you have struggled to access that state of being on a consistent basis is because you, in some way shape or form, have been led to believe that you, as you are, isn’t enough. 

I want you to remember the truth we see and experience is love at the deepest level. This whole play, the whole thing, the people you speak to, the people that you don’t speak to, the people that are in the background, the people that are in the foreground, every life experience, every circumstance in every situation is love. That means that in this moment, YOU ARE LOVED! It’s time to engage in every activity with a smile on your face and with love in your heart. The individual who can do that is free of the illusion. 

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Relationship Role Modeling from the Obamas

Sixteen years ago Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage was about to crumble.

Michelle told her mother she wasn’t sure their marriage would survive.

Barack told his grandmother that Michelle’s constant nagging was driving him crazy.

They were drowning in debt from the Ivy League law school loans.

Michelle was the major breadwinner with her high profile, corporate job and two young girls to care for and she felt fat, unseen and unheard.

With Barack’s busy travel schedule, they barely had any family time. And she was tired of picking up after him.

One morning Michelle woke up at 5am. Barack was gently snoring next to her. All she could think about was getting out of bed and going to the gym….it had been months! Part of her resisted going….the girls would soon be up and would need to fed….but the other part of her thought, Barack’s a smart guy, he’ll figure out how to feed them.

Once she arrived at the gym she got on the stairmaster and quickly had a Wabi Sabi epiphany.

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Breakdown or Breakthrough

Times of change and craziness really bring a lot of clarity sometimes, and one of the things I wanted to share with you guys that I’m becoming super, super clear on, especially with everything that’s going on, is this: unless we deliberately make a change, we are going to start repeating all of our old patterns, or at least try to repeat a lot of the patterns from before COVID, even if that means repeating the worst of our suffering cycles.


Here’s what I mean…

The Effects of Repeating Patterns

The other day, I went out to a restaurant to eat with my kids. It’s been a long time of social distancing and we wanted to enjoy some time out for a bit. However, as I was eating at the restaurant, I noticed something as I was eating food I hadn’t been eating for the last few months. I kept having to blow my nose because there was something in the food that I have a sensitivity to. I’d been far more careful and was choosing better foods before, but as life started going back to “normal,” I made some exceptions for myself. And it didn’t feel good.

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Dealing with Fear of Commitment in Love

To love fully in relationships is a vulnerable thing. To commit in relationship is equally vulnerable too.

You can’t control what happens in love or with the other person. It requires that you open your heart and risk.

To commit in love can be scary sometimes.

Many of us fear the commitment that comes with loving someone. Realize, that your only commitment is to yourself. When you honor your truth, honor yourself every moment, you are "committing" to them.

You can know that you always have yourself whether that person stays or goes.

You must commit to the process of loving in and of itself. All forms change. So whether the person stays or leaves your life, you stay in love.

You continue loving yourself.

You never stop loving yourself.

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem in Two Steps

It is my personal opinion that most people are unnecessarily insecure. These insecurities can hold people back from being truly happy, and living life to the fullest. Where do these insecurities come from? How can we become more confident?

The need for the approval of others is one of our first learned behaviors. As we started life, many of us learned that we received our parents love when we did things that pleased them. We were met with negativity, or not as much love, when we did things that upset them. Our parents were the gods of our universe at that time, and their love was not only desired instinctually, but was necessary for our survival.

As we move out into the world as individuals, we still feel that the acceptance and praise of others keeps us validated, and defines us as meaningful contributors to society. So this means that a large motivator for doing anything is the expectation of positive feedback from someone else.

When we receive praise, we allow it to lift us up, and we feel good about what we have done. A negative reaction from someone, can make us feel bad, and can even make us question our validity.

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“I Can’t Receive Love.”

Lindsay wrote during one of my webinars:

“I can’t receive love. Physically, not even a kiss or stroke of kindness. I was never told ‘you’re awesome, great job, you’re beautiful, you can do anything.’ Therefore it’s hard for me to receive love and feel worthy.”

Lindsay, it is very hard to grow up with no love. You are certainly not alone in this experience. Growing up without any physical affection or emotional support is a very sad and lonely thing.

However, your conclusion – that you can’t receive love because you weren’t loved – is false. I work with many people who were not only not loved, but who were very badly abused, and yet they are still capable of giving and receiving love.

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26 pounds, a muffin top, and true happiness…

Thirty-six years ago I was obsessed with the ambition to attain physical perfection.

I had this idea that if I could weigh a certain amount, have my measurements be an exact number, have my hair the best length and all ten of fingernails “long” at the same time, I would be perfect and with that perfectly happy.

I spent a year working out two hours a day lifting weights, running, doing sit-ups and squats. I carefully measured and tracked everything I ate, and I weighed myself daily (ok, multiple times a day).

And, then one day it happened. I got up, stood on the scale, took out my measuring tape and voila – perfection had been reached. For a few moments I was in bliss. 

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Shine On Behalf Of The Divine

I’m still coming down off the gratitude cloud from last weekend’s OraclePalooza Virtual, and equally swimming in the searing truth of my best friend Doug’s crossing over the rainbow bridge a few short weeks ago. The entire weekend I was in two places as I stepped into one of many “firsts” without him. Being my wingman and emcee at OraclePalooza was the thing he loved best. It was strange to be without him although it was an important new beginning and I felt his spirit the entire time. 

I miss the brave, real, loving human though. In the flesh with me backstage eating gluten-free snacks and giggling about how lucky we were to do what we did, and him crying reminding me that not everyone’s stuff was for me to take on. God, I love that man. What a pair we were. 

Doug was with me for 16 deep meaningful and fun years of friendship, but what made it special is that we shared a mission. Those kinds of friends are gifts from the Divine.

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Overwhelmed and Frazzled

Do you get overwhelmed and frazzled when too much is going on? Does your system feel on overload when too much hits you at once?

This is a common experience for introverted and highly sensitive people.

The surprising thing is that this appears to be true from birth. In her book, “Quiet,” Susan Cain describes a long-term research study done by Professor Jerome Kagan at Harvard, with 500 four-month-old babies. Kagan asserted that he could tell which babies were introverts and which were extroverts, based on a forty-five-minute evaluation. The babies were subjected to stimuli such as balloons popping, colorful mobiles, tape-recorded voices, and the scent of alcohol on cotton swabs. About 20 percent of the babies were what he called “high-reactive” – waving their arms and legs and crying. About 40 percent were quiet and placid – which he called “low-reactive”, and another 40 percent were somewhere in between.

Kagan predicted that the high-reactive group would turn out to be introverts, and that the low-reactive group would be extroverts, with the other 40% going back and forth between introversion and extroversion, and this is exactly what happened. Highly sensitive introverts comprise about 20 percent of the population, which is what Elaine Aron, Ph.D., discovered in her research and wrote about in “The Highly Sensitive Person” and other books.

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Realize Timeless Love

We have all been hurt, left with a heart wounded by others who seem to go on just fine without us. In moments of such loss, our emptiness doesn’t stay empty for long; we are soon filled with anger, guilt, regret, or grief. These dark thoughts and feelings usually accomplish two things at once. At their onset, they bind us to a negative certainty that we will never again love or trust, but that’s not the worst of it. They also blind us so that the real purpose behind our pain goes unseen; as such, we miss the following lesson. Hidden within it is the power to transform our tears into a new kind of triumph over sorrow:

It isn’t love that has hurt us. 

Once our inner eyes are open and we can read the story between the lines secreted away in our suffering, we’re able to see one spiritual wonder after another. For instance, we realize that real love can’t hurt us any more than the light from a lamp can turn a room dark. We understand without taking thought that the nature of light is to reveal, not conceal. It’s clear: love heals; its celestial purpose is to integrate all that it embraces and all who choose to embrace it. 

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Authentic Confidence: Discover the Tools to Release Fears, Self-Doubt & Cultivate an Unshakable Trust in Yourself

I was eating dinner with my husband recently, and we were talking about the extraordinary potential of the Feminine Power movement.

I was feeling deeply inspired by all of the passionate, committed women who are giving themselves to this work, and the impact we can have on the future of our world.

As we were talking about it, I was just feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all of you and I decided I wanted to share something that will help you step forward and give your gifts to the world.

It’s an hour-long training that is usually only for participants in my paid programs, but I’d like to offer it to you at no charge.

But first, I want to invite you to consider a question:

  • Are you holding yourself back rather than stepping out in boldness?
  • Do you ever hesitate when a new opportunity opens up right before your very eyes?
  • Are you out in the weeds, rather than traveling the broad highway of possibility before you?
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Give Yourself Permission to Be You

Happiness and personal empowerment are only a perceptual shift away!

The reason why so many of us suffer, is because we believe that we are part of a world conceptually created by those who have come before us.

We were taught from pretty early on that we needed to fit in, or adhere to various societal standards. Everything from the way we spoke to our physical appearance needed to be a certain way to be considered ‘good’.

While there is a common thread of likeness with every human being on the planet, you are the only you there has ever been, or will ever be. You're supposed to be the way you are, and you are more than good enough. You are not going to fit into someone else's mold, and you were never meant to.

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Hope for the Frustrated, Ambitious and Impatient

As a lawyer turned writer, then as a creative turned business owner, not to mention as a plain old human being, I have often felt helpless. Flustered. And full of self-hatred and shame. I often assume, no, I know, that everyone else knows how to do everything just right-- and frankly this makes me sick.

But I am moving past “helplessness” and it’s like seeing the sun rise for the first time.

I want to take you with me. If you have ever felt inept as though you can’t run a business, write a screenplay, find a lover or an answer, or roll up your yoga mat evenly which, personally I think is a covert form of hell, I want to tell you a story about going past imaginary limits. It’s a story of self-forgiveness. It’s a story of hitting your full potential. Actually, it’s a story of folding a goddamn blanket. But it’s really a story of unfoldment, of how to teach yourself to do anything in this world you want or need to do.

I’d been visiting a friend who is a famous author and speaker and staying in her charming guest house in San Francisco. “What do you want me to do with the bedding?” I ask her, as I’m leaving early the next morning and won’t see her. “Oh, fold the blankets back up and leave it at the foot of the bed with the others,” she says casually. I try not to twitch or gasp. I was hoping she would say “Just leave it in a reckless heap like you leave everything. I’ll take care of it. I’ll be the good mommy.” But no such luck. I am on my own here. With bedding issues.

In the morning, I pack up and the only thing I need to do is face the dreaded task of “folding the blanket.” I stare at the crumpled outrage. Obviously, I was fighting Godzilla in my sleep. Then I study the other white blankets at the foot of the bed, deriding me, white cotton folded with German engineering, resting like smug doves.

My stomach clenches. I am going to screw this up. I am a screw up. I am going to create a lumpy, ugly, bulging inept pile that announces either raw disregard or reprehensible incompetence. I think about writing a note apologizing. I feel like an idiot. Folding things neatly. I missed that class in kindergarten. I was probably having a cigarette or a Jujube.

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Realize the Real Purpose of Relationship

How many men or women do you know that when a fight has begun – or even in the middle of one – they suddenly see and agree that to blame the other person for the state that they are in is a lie? How long would a fight go on between any two human beings if one of those individuals awakened sufficiently enough to see that the pattern of fighting with another person to prove that I’m right is in fact the proof that I’m in the wrong?  

Our experience has shown us that the fighting continues because we are not learning from the relationship. Instead we are burning over what someone or other has implied that we are or that we are not doing and therefore we are at fault. We are never at fault in our relationships until at last the fighting becomes so egregious that we can’t hide the truth from ourselves anymore. And by the time we reach that point with other human beings, we have most often ruined whatever little love had brought us together in the first place.  

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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