It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Shaking is Meant for Shifting

For me and many of the people I’ve spoken to who are part of the stay-at-home population, it feels like one day is rolling right into the next with not that much changing in any given 24-hour period.

Of course, if we’re working from home or home-schooling our children or are caregivers for our loved ones, the details of each day are numerous and ever-changing.

But it’s the general tone of the day that I’m speaking about... 

I’m wondering about that question mark that’s hanging over the planet.

What is this shaking up of the world as we know it ushering in? 

What will our personal and collective lives look like in a few months…

And in a few years?

Though there have been a few other pandemics over the last hundred years or so, never before have we experienced the repercussions of a pandemic like the one enfolding the whole of the planet today. 

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What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong

There is a vast difference between the pseudo-strength of controlling behavior and the actual strength of loving behavior.

“My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.”
“My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the family and controls everyone. I never see her cry.”

These descriptions of strength do not fall under my definition of ‘strong.’

Strength and Weakness

Strength is reaching a place in your growth where you have the courage to feel and lovingly manage your painful core feelings of sorrow, loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief and helplessness over others—rather than avoiding them with various addictions and controlling behavior.

Weakness is when you are too afraid to feel and learn from your feelings, so you avoid them with substance and process addictions, and with controlling behavior toward others to get them to take responsibility for your feelings. Given these definitions, the above statements made by my clients about their parents are describing weakness, not strength.

Strong people are able to cry—to be moved by things and to cry as a way to release the energy of that strong emotion. Unfortunately, many people were programmed as children to not cry, since their parents didn’t know how to handle painful feelings – their own and their children’s. Many people were even teased, at home or at school, for crying, further programming them to avoid tears.

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The Miracle Of The Coronavirus – Part 1

Creating authentic power requires distinguishing love from fear in yourself and choosing love no matter what is happening inside you or what is happening outside. Our evolution now requires us to create authentic power. The coronavirus is teaching us how to do that. The reality of the coronavirus is often lost in the fear of it (including denial). The reality of the coronavirus is that no one is immune to it, and it is extremely contagious. The mortality rate of the coronavirus is much lower than small pox or bubonic plague, yet it is a deadly threat. That reality demands that we bring our fears into our awareness so that we can choose responsibly between our fears on the one hand and love on the other. This is important because not only your health depends upon your choices, but also the health of others.

In other words, the coronavirus is the perfect teacher of responsibility. The coronavirus is contagious days before its symptoms appear in you. You do not know when you become infected! During that time you can infect others without knowing it and without them knowing it (because they do not know when they become infected, either), and they can (will) very quickly infect others and on and on and on and on. These are the things that make the coronavirus very dangerous. It is extremely contagious, everyone can unknowingly infect anyone else, and it can kill you. In other words, if you mindlessly endanger yourself, you mindlessly endanger others. If others recklessly endanger themselves, they recklessly endanger you. To echo Lakota wisdom, the health of one is the health of all, and the illness of one is the illness of all.

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Are you walking a tightrope?

Do you ever feel as though life is a three ring circus? 

So many demands from everywhere for your time and energy… 

constantly juggling life’s responsibilities while trying to balance family, self care and career…?

This balancing act can leave even the strongest person feeling like they are walking a tightrope. It leads to stress upon stress that compromises the immune system and triggers unconscious stories that can sabotage your health and ability to have fun manifesting the life you want.

Take a moment to answer each question below honestly:

  1. Are you eating healthy and exercising regularly?
  2. Do you spend time learning to master your thoughts, set aside personal and quiet time just for you and meditate or use guided visualizations to train your brain?
  3. Do you feel close to family and friends?
  4. Do you love what you do and how you show up in your career?
  5. Do you feel in touch with your True Self and take time to notice and heed the emotional signals that tell you if you’re out of balance?
  6. Do you regularly experience well-being, contentment, love and joy?

Now you’ve done that, you have an idea of where you’re at right now…

Your past is responsible for how you’ve been feeling up till this moment!


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Hold Your Beliefs Light-ly

Beliefs are tricky, especially in times of uncertainty. They can be a source of inspiration or a heavy chain around your neck. They can uplift you into possibility or weigh you down, keeping you from open-hearted expansion. Historically, beliefs have been the cause of cycles of planetary polarization: renaissances and wars, connection and separation, coming together and tearing apart, hope and despair. Humans have yet to reach the evolutionary tipping point of being present in experience without filters of any kind. Maybe now is the time to let go and see everything as light, including ourselves and our beliefs.

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How To Love Your Body

The healthier and more vibrant your body is, the more you can express yourself through it and live your dream.”

We often live with the pressure of having a ‘perfect’ body according to the standard created by the media and society as a whole. As a result, this can often lead to shame, self-rejection and even hatred of our body. Listen to this important episode to learn how to love your body and honor this amazing vehicle of your soul.

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5 Ways to Light Your Sexual Fire for Confidence, Creativity, Love, and Joy

Have you lit your sexual fire? Are you feeling alive, vibrant, and TURNED ON in your life? 

Your sexuality is vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose. Awakening to the sacredness and creative potential of our sexuality is the next phase of our spiritual evolution on the planet. 

In my recent article “Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020,” I shared that your sexuality boosts your health, creativity, intuition, self-love, confidence, divine connection, worthiness, money flow, abundance, happiness, fulfillment and romance. Embracing your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020 (yes, even in the midst of a pandemic). 

Now let’s explore what your sexual fire is and how you can light it.

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Listening To Your Body and CHOICE!

I wonder how you are doing with listening to your body while in quarantine and moving through this experience?

Our body is such a miraculous container. It can create miracles in so many profound ways.

And I know that the physical body is getting a lot of attention right now and not all of it is positive.

How are you feeling in your body? How well are you listening to your body? How is your body working for you and how are you working with your body?

Those are some of the questions I would like you to sit with.

It is so important right now to be listening to the messages and the signs and the symptoms that your body is showing you. Your body gives you messages to let you know whether you are in alignment with your thoughts or emotions … or if you’re disconnected and not present.

YOUR body gives YOU insight into everything: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

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Coronavirus – The Heart of the Matter

All my life I have gone to the heart of the matter. When I graduated from college, I volunteered to fly fighters because I felt that was the heart of the Air Force. My eye sight prevented me, so I joined the Infantry because I felt that was the heart of the Army. Then I became a Green Beret officer because I felt that was the heart of the heart of the Army. When I wrote about quantum physics, I reached for the heart of this new discipline so I could write a book about it without scientific jargon and give non-scientists like me a clear and understandable explanation of it. That book won The American Book Award for Science, I believe, because it did exactly that.

I have come to see the heart of everything that we do and experience, individually and as a species, as consciousness. Our consciousness. My consciousness. Changing anything in the world, including myself, requires changing consciousness. The only place I can change consciousness is in myself.

Now I come to the coronavirus. Like everything I see around me, I see the coronavirus as symbolic. It has a lesson to teach me, and in my opinion, it has a lesson to teach us. The coronavirus is real in that it kills, the world economy is crippled, hundreds of millions have no work or shelter or comforting hand to hold theirs when they are ill. The most difficult is yet to come in economically undeveloped countries and collectives.

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Are You Making Someone Your Higher Power?

Do you believe that in a good relationship, it is your partner’s job to make you feel loved and worthy?

Jerrod, in his late 30s, consulted with me because he was feeling frantic about his relationship. He and Leslie had fallen deeply in love just over a year ago, but now the relationship was falling apart.

Jerrod

“Leslie and I are very attracted to each other and really enjoy each other’s company. But something happens after we’ve been together over a weekend. We have a great time and then during the week I’m miserable for a few days. After a few days, I feel okay again, and then we get together and it starts all over. I don’t want our relationship to end, but I can’t stand what happens after we are together. Maybe we are not supposed to be together.”

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Love the World

Are we really so separate?

The Practice:
Love the world.

Why?

To simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harms, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals. 

Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be emerging as well.

Our hunter-gatherer ancestors depended upon their habitats for food and shelter. Today, over 7 billion of us are pressing hard up against the limits of Lifeboat Earth. To survive and to flourish, cultural and perhaps biological evolution are calling us to love the world.

The world is near to hand in the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the weather and climate in which you spend your days. And then in widening circles, the world extends out to include complex webs of life and the physical characteristics of the land, the sea, and the sky.

When you love the world, you both appreciate it and care for it. Each of these actions makes you feel good, plus they help you preserve and improve everything you depend on for your health, livelihood, security, pleasure, and community.

During most of the last several million years, our human and hominid ancestors did not have much capacity for harming the world. Nor did they have much understanding of their effects on the whole planet.

But now, humanity has great power for good and ill. And we have inescapable knowledge (no matter how much some try to deny it) of what we are doing to our own home. As the earth heats up, as many species go extinct, and as resources such as fresh water decline, it is critically important that a fourth major motivation guide our thoughts, words, and above all, deeds:

Love the world.

How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life

How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life. 

These are challenging times. 

We are all going through the same storm as humanity, but not all of us are on the same ship facing the same experiences. 

As we all go through these moments of uncertainty, some of you might be thinking how you are going to pay your bills this week or this month.

Some of may be wondering how to keep your health and  immune system high. 

Some of you are concerned about your loved ones, children or elderly parents. 

We are all in a different boat but in the same storm and regardless, the storm is the storm. 

And, these are difficult moments. 
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What's Really Essential?

"The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in a time of crisis." -Thurgood Marshall


I've Been Thinking...

The other day, I found myself thinking and reflecting on life as I took an evening walk through my neighborhood.

“When this is all over, what will I remember?” I pondered to myself. “What thoughts and images will be seared into my brain? Who will I be when I am no longer told to stay at home?”

Will I go back to the same schedule I had before? Will my work and voice in The Sunday Paper be needed now more than ever, or not at all? Will my work at NBC News be the same, or will it change now that every show has been cut back? Will I go back to being on a plane all the time, rushing from coast to coast?

 

Will my work at The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement survive in a post-pandemic world? Will people still want to fund research into women’s brains when millions of Americans are struggling to eat and pay their rents or mortgages? Will people want to be educated about brain health and Alzheimer’s prevention when one of their most pressing concerns is protecting themselves from the coronavirus? I wonder. 

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Keys To Freedom In Your Relationships

“Each relationship serves a different function and purpose in your life. Ultimately, every single relationship you are in is for your growth, evolution and learning.”

When we spend our time trying to control the lives of those we love, we’re putting our power, our freedom, our joy, our happiness in the hands of someone else. Listen to this episode as I share the secret to real freedom when it comes to changing other people and how to shift your focus to a more empowering way of thinking. 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What is the secret to getting other people to change?
  • How is trying to change other people taking your power away?
  • How can I stop controlling other people?
  • Am I ready to receive what others are ready to give me?
  • How can I accept another without judgment?
  • What does this person mirror to me about myself?

In This Episode You Will Learn:

  • 3 key questions to ask yourself when you are challenged by someone.
  • A key element to all relationships that will change everything.
  • How to honor and love yourself unconditionally.
  • How communication is a key element to honoring your relationship.
  • How acceptance of another is an important part of your own evolution.
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You Are Enough – The Promise

The more you achieve and acquire, the more you feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled up

The world—­your parents, your teachers, your clan, your religion—­made an agreement with you. It promised that if you live your life in the pursuit of certain milestones, if you grab the brass ring, if you achieve, you will be happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. You will find fulfillment. You will gain love, respect,and honor. You will have “made it.” You will be accepted. Worth will be bestowed upon you.

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Come Home To The Love Of Your Soul

As we float in a kind of weightless limbo, not sure if we’re celebrating or mourning, one thing is clear: this is different! I mean we’ve all experienced strange times but this seems to pull at the soul in an undeniable way as if calling us back to remember a promise made eons ago.

Faint as it may be, something yet still must die. Feels like a funeral to me. A kind of deep, inner, archetypal mourning for the death of a mixed past filled with love and hate, horror and ecstasy that must be cleared from the cosmic memory in order for the ‘back to the future’ Eden we’ve been meditating on, to emerge.

If the dissolving Piscean Age was a Broadway play, we’re in the last act! Where the actors of the Martyr, Saint, Sufferer scene, having brought so much pain to such innocence, get their due rewards as the audience is freed from that theater and released out into an expanse without borders like judgement or tyranny, once able to suppress a soul, now turned to dust.

I think we’re completing something we began in 2012, our transition from human to divine! Who’s on board?

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How To Stay Free In Love and In Life

People often say that love hurts so much. It’s not love that hurts, it’s the expectations of our love.

When you hold back what’s natural, loving those around you, it blocks the flow of your heart, the flow of your creativity, of your Aliveness and life force.

You are love. 

Love because it’s your nature.

To love is great freedom.

It’s the most natural impulse of your being.

Love because you are love your self.

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The Touch That Heals Trauma

We all have more power than we know to help each other heal.

Loving mothers know instinctively that when their children are hurting physically or emotionally, what they need is to be gently held with loving arms and soothed with loving words. Those of us who have raised young children know the magic of “kissing it and making it better.”

Discovering the Healing Power of Loving Holding

Years ago, Erika and I discovered the healing power of mothering, and we wrote about it in “Healing Your Aloneness.” What we discovered has now been verified over and over. In his excellent book, “In An Unspoken Voice,” author Peter Levine tells a heartwarming story. When National Guard soldiers were ordered to remove Elian Gonzales – the young boy who became a pawn in a political battle in Florida – from the hands of his Cuban exile cousins living in Miami, they trained a female federal agent to caringly take the boy from the cousins and angry onlookers. Knowing he would be extremely frightened, and not wanting to further traumatize him…

“The agent held him firmly enough to not be ripped away by the angry mob, yet gently enough for her embrace to match the words she calmly recited in Spanish,”Elian, this may seem scary right now, but it soon will be better. We’re taking you to your papa…You will not be taken back to Cuba [which was true for the time being]…You will not be put on a boat again [he had been brought to Miami on a treacherous boat ride]…You are with people who care for you and are going to take care of you.’” p.265

As she rocked him gently and spoke soothingly to him, he relaxed.

Levine goes on to describe another dramatic mothering scene that occurred during the East Timor conflict. As dazed and disoriented refugees wandered into a refugee camp, a group of Portuguese nuns greeted and gently held and rocked the children and the most shocked adults, whispering soothing words to them, thawing them out of shock with their love.

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I Need You And You Need Me

"Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things. Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things." -Lao Tzu

I've Been Thinking...

I was catching up with a friend by phone the other day when she said to me: “I need you more than ever right now.”

“Same here!” I replied, without skipping a beat.
 
The truth is, we all need each other more than ever right now. We need each other in so many ways, both big and small. We need to rely on one another. Lean on one another. Trust one another. Be compassionate, understanding, and patient with one another. We need to basically focus on being there for one another the best we can.
 
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about just how tied we are to one another. This historic moment is showing us how interconnected we are. It is showing us how we all have similar needs. And yet, as we live through this big, collective moment together, we are also going through it in very individual ways.

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The First Step in Releasing Negativity

When things don’t go the way we want them to, our tendency is to turn negative on the spot. It’s as if something in us throws a switch and, the next moment -- like being caught in the surge of a tidal wave -- resistance carries us away. But this unconscious resistance to reality never shows itself for what it is; it can’t, or the show would be over! After all, who sides with something that is perpetually against life?
 

Resistance is the unseen father of all lingering negative states. It derives its power to trick us into embracing its painful presence by a kind of misdirection. It hides behind a host of associated images that always appear with it -- certain thoughts and feelings that promise either to protect us or to provide us with plans to escape our situation. But we must learn to see that the true nature of anything -- whether a newly opened leaf or a fearful thought or feeling -- is inseparable from what it serves. So, regardless of how it may appear, any disquieting state in us that “says” it wants to lead us away from a fear is leading us toward one instead.

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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