It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

Gray hair getting you down?

Here’s some science based good news!

Whether you are dating or partnered, according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive. (“Mature” is code for gray hair in this instance.)

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had.

The study found that “healthy” hair is more important than hair color unless you have an unnatural color in your hair, in which case it works against you.

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A Swan Song of Love

When I was first starting out, I participated in an event with well-known psychic medium John Edward. I was excited, nervous and anxious all at the same time. I knew this was my test to see if I could take my mediumship to the next level.

I sat in the green room for a while, thinking how much I wanted to be the very best I could, and I hoped that my guides would be there to assist me. Before long, I started to receive information in a series of images. In my mind’s eye, I saw what seemed to be a piece of paper being furiously folded. Were they trying to show me a paper plane, a paper toy, or was it just a cut-out doll? I tried to interpret what I was receiving as quickly as I could. It finally turned into a beautiful origami swan. I knew immediately that this was the link.

Suddenly I heard John Edward announce my name and I was on. Putting any fears behind me, I strode confidently on stage. The atmosphere was electric as I gave a short talk about myself, how I work, and what people could expect, as well as what not to expect.

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7 Ways To Overcome Feeling Insecure In A Relationship and Be Free

“Your relationship with yourself is the real foundation for your relationship with others.”

The partner you attract in a relationship is a mirror manifestation of yourself. When you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you look to your partner to give you a sense of validation. This leads to feelings of insecurity and suffering. Listen to this episode to learn 7 simple, yet powerful keys to improve your relationship with yourself and overcome feelings of insecurity.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How often do you really connect with who you are?
  • Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship?
  • Do you like the partners you are attracting into your sphere?
  • How do you deal with the fear of losing your identity in your relationship?
  • How often do you look in the mirror? Do you like what you see?
  • Have you noticed the voice in your head that criticizes you?
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Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)

Want the insider tips on what the happiest people in the world do to live long, healthy, and HAPPY lives?

Dan Buettner, an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author has written The Blue Zones of Happiness

His book is based on happiness you can actually measure. The first kind of happiness is determined by asking people to rate their life satisfaction level on a scale of 1 to 10. The second kind of happiness is purpose, and it’s measured by people rating how engaged they are with their lives, and if they’re doing meaningful things every day. The third measurement is how much people enjoy their lives on a day -to-day or moment-to-moment basis. That’s determined by asking people to remember their last 24 hours and report how many times they felt joy, laughed, or smiled.
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We Can’t Control Others, But Here’s How To Influence Them

Rather than trying to control others, which never works in the long run, learn how you can influence others.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” – Albert Schweitzer

Inner Bonding teaches that we have no control over others’ intent, choices, and how they feel about us. However, while we have no control, we can influence others. Our own loving or unloving behavior can have a huge influence on others.

Think back in your life to the people who most influenced you.

  • Who influenced you regarding your controlling and addictive behavior?
  • Who influenced you regarding your loving, personally powerful behavior?

The problem for many of us is that we have far too many role models of unloving behavior toward ourselves and others, and far too few role models of loving behavior. This is why it is so important to be able to turn to your guidance for what’s loving to you and to others.

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Set Yourself Free with Love and Forgiveness

The overall theme that the cards reveal this week in the Weekly Oracle Card Guidance and Lesson is forgiveness. Who or what do you need to forgive?

I know forgiveness may seem like one of those intangible ideals that’s just out of reach or a waste of time. But, it’s not. You can make the choice to forgive. And by taking that decision, you not only move forward on your path, but you also open the door to Spirit’s messages.

Resentment, anger, shame, and regret all keep you focused on the past and block you from accessing the realm of connection. In addition to robbing you of the present, lack of forgiveness feeds your ego mind, your Goblin, and keeps you in a “Me Bubble.” Forgiveness is one of the greatest keys to strengthening your intuition and making positive changes in your life.

I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for forgiveness. After years of abusive relationships, drinking, and trying to numb my pain, I had a spiritual epiphany in which I realized that I had to forgive if I wanted to move forward. Through giving up the need to be hurt and to hate, I’ve been able to finally have the amazing, healthy relationship I’d always wanted. 

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Majestic Turn

One of the great masters of the long walk through time is the Earth itself, as it turns ever so slowly on its axis, turning in place forever. This unconscious devotion to being sustains all life and keeps the mountains and oceans from spinning into space. This great and silent teacher holds the secret of being. For we are each born with an unconscious devotion to turn in place around the unseeable center. And in doing so, we sustain all life. When the Earth devotes itself to this majestic turn, ever inward, it creates and renews a force we call gravity. When we devote ourselves to this majestic turn around the unseeable center, we create and sustain a force we call love. And it is love like gravity that keeps the continents from breaking apart and spinning into space.

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New Questions That Lead to Self-Wholeness

Our stressful, pain-filled experiences are not caused by people or events but by our reactions to them. And yet, if we will honestly examine the way we presently question our defeats, here’s what we see: we are still desperately seeking answers that serve only to correct the surface or exterior conditions. We are still blaming circumstances for crushing us. The direction of our questions proves that we are still thinking incorrectly about our problems.

This is supremely important to grasp if we wish to change our inner and outer world. By their very nature, our old questions tend to make and then keep us victims. They imply that someone or something outside of ourselves is punishing us. No human being is a victim of any punishment outside of their own undeveloped life-level from which their inner reactions are seen as outer attacks. This is why we must learn to turn our questions into tools for developing self-wholeness instead of letting them lead us off in the wrong direction.

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The One and Only Dependable Source of Love

Do you make others your dependable source of love – your Higher Power?


Seth and Lisa consulted with me because they had been married only a year and were having problems. Seth was often angry at Lisa, and Lisa felt shut down to Seth.

“Seth,” I asked him, “What are you wanting from Lisa that you are not getting?”

“I want her to be my dependable source of love. She is my wife and she should be my dependable source of love.”

Seth was doing what many people do in relationships – he was making Lisa his Higher Power. Having no spiritual connection of his own, he kept trying to access love through Lisa. Lisa, feeling pulled on by Seth to fill the emptiness caused by his self-abandonment, had withdrawn.

We all need a dependable source of love, but to expect another to be that dependable source creates the codependency that leads to the relationship difficulties that Seth and Lisa were experiencing.

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Love Your Neighbor

In the neighborhood?

The Practice:
Love your neighbor.

Why?

This practice might sound extreme or pushy, and I want to tell you what I mean by it.

Everyone has lots of neighbors, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Obviously the people living across the street are neighbors, but in some sense so are the people you live with. Friends, relatives, co-workers, all the people you know are neighbors. So are the people at the market or walking past on the street. Other living things are neighbors as well, such as cats and dogs, birds and bees, ants on the kitchen counter, and plants and trees.

There’s also a neighborhood inside each of us. The human body contains about 100 trillion cells – and at least as many microorganisms that are neighbors, too. Plus consider your mind. My own mind is like a village with many characters at different stages of biological and psychological evolution, chatting or arguing with each other. All the parts of your mind – the pushy internal critic, the playful child, the longing for lasting happiness, the calm voice that talks you off the ledge – are neighbors of a sort.

In the largest sense, the neighbors of your neighbors are your neighbors, which means that every living thing is your neighbor – and mine. Wow. Walt Whitman got it right when he wrote: “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

What should we do with our neighbors? Ignore or hate them? Or recognize and love them?

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Getting Off the Karmic Cartwheel and Back Into Love...

Yes, there is such a thing as being stuck in a karmic pattern that no longer serves you.

These patterns are the result of unconscious programs that trigger false beliefs and perpetuate stories that age, weaken and diminish life…

and, blocks your ability to know the truth.  

You are a perfect divine being whose essence is LOVE!

Having worked with thousands of people worldwide, we’ve discovered universal thought processes running through humanity.

“I don't deserve love!” “No one will ever love me!” “Love is dangerous”

These programs have been locked in your DNA and effect the way your genes express. In other words, your thoughts control your energetic frequency and that frequency either repels love or is a magnet to love.

You might not think this is relevant to you, however, the sneaky unconscious mind stores past events, emotions and decisions that surface as negative life patterns.

How do you know if you are on this karmic merry go round blocking love? 

Look at how much love you’ve allowed into your life. That will tell you whether or not you are free to love yourself, your family, friends, your beloved and God.

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The Husband Super Store

I once heard a story called Shopping for the Perfect Husband. The tale is set in the “Perfect Husband” super store, a five-story building where women go to find their perfect match.

On each of the five floors there are men with various qualities. The main rule was that once you reached any given floor, you had to select a man from that floor. If you didn’t, you could go to the next floor, not knowing for sure what you would find. The trick was that you couldn’t return to a lower floor unless you planned to leave the store husband-less.

Marianne and Joan, lifelong best friends, set off to find Mr. Soulmate. On the first floor there was a small sign that read:

“These guys love children and have good jobs.”

Joan thought that was great, but she was also curious to see what was on the second floor.
Marianne followed her up the escalator where they found a somewhat larger sign that said:

“These guys are super handsome, love children and have great jobs.”

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5 Ways To Heal Your Heart

The relationships we have with others – romantic or platonic – are one of the most sacred aspects of our being. In these close, intimate spaces, we are allowed to become a part of someone else’s life, offering them love and affection, advice and caring, nurturing and a listening ear.

But there are times when these relationships dissolve – for myriad reasons – and the heartache that results can be one of the most painful things to endure. Heartache can turn us into people we’d rather not be. To avoid this, I offer you these 5 ways to heal your heart, and return to love.

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4 Ways To Deal With Regret and Eliminate It

Regret is a killer.

It robs you of your peace in the moment and limits your ability to create a fresh future.

Regret is that feeling when you look back from your future and wish you had done it differently.

We have all done things that we felt bad about and judged ourselves for from the past.

Whether it was:

Bad relationship choices.

The way you handled a break up.

Unwise financial decisions.

What are you still judging yourself for?

What regrets do you still have?

Maybe you have been holding yourself hostage, thinking you are a bad person or that God is judging you?

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Love Yourself Most

My amazing friend, Sheri Salata, is a deep, loving, soulful woman who had the career of her dreams for 21 years including titles as Executive Producer of the Oprah Show and co-CEO of OWN network. When she decided to move on and “produce” her own life she was one hundred pounds overweight, no man in site, and nearly 57 years old. Today her book, The Beautiful No, arrives in stores, and I’ve invited her to be a guest blogger on the topic of

What I Know About Love.

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Proactively Choosing To Love

What does it REALLY mean to make choices from healthy parts of your personality? It’s not only when you observe that a fearful part of your personality is active (for example, one that is impatient), and you decide to act from a loving part of your personality instead (for example, one that is patient). This is the core dynamic of creating authentic power.

It also means proactively and consciously choosing to act from a loving part of your personality moment by moment – for example, a part that is grateful, or appreciative, or caring, or content, or in awe of the Universe as well as patient. When you do this, you will notice that you are naturally more giving, creative, and curious. You will feel your heart opening, and the joy of opening to others will fill your awareness.

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Do You Judge Your Feelings? Here is What to Do Instead

Judgments can block the vital information your feelings offer you, preventing the release of stress or pain that expression of some feelings provides.

Did you grow up being taught that feeling and expressing your feelings is wrong or bad – especially your painful feelings?

I often have the experience with my clients of hearing them apologize when they start to cry. “I’m so sorry that I’m getting emotional,” they often say to me.

“It’s okay to cry,” I tell them. “Crying is a natural way of expressing feelings and releasing pain.” When they are trying to be very quiet about it, I often say, “It’s okay to cry out loud and allow yourself to make noise.”

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4 Ways To Be Good To Yourself

Self-care and self-love are necessary parts of a happy, healthy, and balanced life. So often, we find ourselves taking care of everyone else, attending to their needs while ignoring our own. Whether it is a matter of time and energy constraints, self-esteem issues, or deep-seated feelings about our worth in the world, being good to yourself is something that we all deserve and are worthy of.

Summertime gives us myriad opportunities for self-care. The sun simply feels divine. Summertime treats such as a simple popsicle can offer a much-needed boost in mood. And the opportunity to be around friends, neighbors, and loved ones outside at a campfire or an outdoor party breathe new life into our daily existence.

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Over Many Months

After ten years of swimming, I stopped when Eleanor died. She was one of several dear ones who had left the Earth. There was too much to tend, and part of my heart had stopped, unsure how to continue. Everyone called it grief, but below the name, I felt that the fire in my center was beginning to smoke. I kept my appointments and did the endless tasks, but some part of me felt hollow.

Slowly, over many months, I began to feel the presence of those I lost in simple things: in the sudden sweep of tall grasses, as if Eleanor were whispering something I couldn’t quite hear; in the light on a pigeon in Washington Square Park while someone played a saxophone, as if my father were smiling on a bench just out of view; and in the closed eyes of our new dog Zuzu while asleep, as if our dead, beloved dog Mira were slipping inside her to tell us she was near.

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A Father's Love

It’s Father’s Day on June 16th – a time to cherish your Dads and your Granddads or Father figure, whether they are with you or on the Other Side. The next time you find yourself missing your loved ones, try not to think they’re in some faraway place. In reality, they’re with you. They’re not here in a physical body, but they’re with you spiritually. Just remember that in the spiritual consciousness, there’s absolutely no separation at all. To illustrate this point, I’d like to share the following story from a family that I am very close to. It shows that your loved ones are with you through all the bad times, as well as the good times.

Chris and his wife, Claire, stood on the balcony in the Great Hall Meeting Room of Faneuil Hall in Boston. As beautiful as the historic building is, they weren’t there to sightsee but to proudly watch their son Charlie be sworn in as an attorney.

The students’ names were called one by one, and it was soon time for Charlie to stand up and accept his law degree. Just as Charlie’s name was read, Chris began to feel a presence at his side. It felt as if his own mom, who’d passed away years earlier, was standing right beside him. Chris shivered as it dawned on him what was happening. It hadn’t been something he’d wished for or expected to happen, but he felt in his heart that she was there in spirit to support him and her grandson with her love. Never wanting to miss out on anything when she was alive, she clearly wanted to be part of her grandson’s graduation!

As Chris’s eyes welled up with tears, he felt another presence draw close and felt a hand on his shoulder. In his mind, he heard the voice of his dad, who’d passed years earlier,“Son, I’m so proud.”

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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