It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

Join Soulspring for conscious insights... ...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...

And receive this very special audio recording from Panache Desai on Breaking Bad Habits.

Stop Waiting For Love, Discover How to Make It Happen

Yesterday was our 23rd wedding anniversary. As I thought about the wonder of it all, I asked my beloved soulmate, Brian, what his thoughts are on how we have created 23 years of togetherness and what he thought our “secret of success” is.

Here is what he said:

“Our sacred union was ignited in an instant when I literally found myself immersed in a grand conspiracy of love with the Woman/Goddess of my dreams 23 years ago.

The day we met the magic began and the Universe/God supported our journey of love on every level. It was a ginormous love explosion where both our tides of love rose together into one ocean of love and where love began to dance with itself!

We celebrate our miracle of love every day as we live grounded in Higher Love with the necessary ingredients of respect, honor, joy, unlimited fun, attentiveness, acceptance, admiration and care of the other’s well-being.”

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

True Love

The word love sometimes loses its impact from overuse. We apply it to so many situations and recipients: people, food, places, experiences, clothing, cars, etc. In most of these senses, it signifies a strong preference or attachment of some kind. It doesn’t usually mean letting go or allowing, which is the greater sense of love. From a spiritual perspective, complete immersion in love is the highest attainment of a seeker on the path to self-knowledge and God realization. Within that experience, “attainment” and the path itself disappear in profound “loving awareness” (as Ram Dass called it). A deep light of unconditional love shines on everything and everyone, without expectation or judgment of any kind.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The Potential Problem In Choosing Partners – 7 Signs you are living in a relationship fantasy

As a general rule, when we meet someone new that we find attractive, we tend to see their best possible traits first. These are often the traits we find comfortable and familiar, and that allows us to associate the individual with other positive people in our lives.

However, there are also times when we meet someone that has some of the traits we find appealing, but also some traits that may not be all that positive. In some cases, we may meet someone that is a complete opposite of our past positive relationships. However, we see a glimpse of what we think may be possible for that individual.

In all of these situations, to a greater or lesser extent, we are looking beyond what we are actually seeing to looking at the potential for the person. We dismiss the “bad boy” exterior and rationalize that some tender loving care and empathy is all that is needed to turn that person into the perfect partner. We are willing to look past the reality to the potential, with the associated thought that we are the missing link in bringing that full potential to light.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

5 Mistakes Women Make in Love (and what to do about them)

When I met my soulmate Brian, I was smart enough to use everything I knew about the Law of Attraction to manifest an amazing soulmate.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any real experience or partnership skills to assure our marriage would be a dream come true.

I made tons of mistakes, mostly because I didn’t understand that not only are men’s brains different from ours, you also need to know how to talk to them in a way that makes them JUMP at the chance to keep us happy.

For instance, one of my biggest mistakes (and one I still deal with from time to time) is that I am not a great listener. I tend to drift. And I am also very opinionated and often want to tell Brian what to do and how to do it.

I’ve since learned (the hard way) that unless a man ASKS for your opinion, feedback or coaching, it’s often best to resist the urge to play “Big Momma” and fix his problems.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The Relationship Between Early Trauma And Love Addiction

Love addiction is not a psychological diagnosis, but that does not mean people cannot become addicted to being in a relationship. Most people know at least one person that is constantly getting into the same bad relationships with the same abusive, narcissistic, or otherwise emotionally unavailable type of partner.

Why some people develop love addiction can be tied to their early relationships in life. This includes their relationship with their primary caregivers in early childhood. For most children, this is a mother or father, but it can be any member of the family or any caregiver that assumes the role of the caregiver for the child.

Signs of Love Addiction 

There are some patterns that are more likely to be present in adults with love addiction. These include:

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The Vast Difference Between Aloneness and Loneliness

Often, when I ask my clients what they feel, it’s obvious to me that they are confused between loneliness and aloneness.
 

Aloneness

Aloneness is an inner feeling of being all alone in the universe, and feeling empty inside. Aloneness indicates that there is a lack of love inside. But, contrary to what most people assume, it’s not another’s love that’s missing – it’s your love that’s missing.

The feelings of aloneness and emptiness are the result of emotional self-abandonment – of ignoring your feelings, judging yourself, using addictions to numb your feelings, and of making others responsible for you feeling loved, safe, and worthy. When you emotionally reject and abandon yourself, your feeling self – your inner child – feels alone and empty inside. When you emotionally abandon yourself, your heart closes and you can’t feel the love and comfort of your higher guidance, which leads to feeling alone in the universe. This is a very sad way to live, yet this is how many people live. 

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

4 Mindfulness Tips for a Healthy Marriage

When we get married (or enter a committed romantic partnership), we hope for peace and love to rule the day, day after day and year after year. Because life presents difficulties, our peace can be shattered and our love may be in danger of dissolving. Just as mindfulness helps us to sit with the challenges of daily life and appreciate what is present, it can help us to appreciate our partners and sit with the hard moments that inevitably arise. Though we can’t avoid the problems, when we practice mindfulness in our relationship, we can handle difficult moments with compassion and love, rather than resentment and anger.


At first, practicing mindfulness in a marriage may feel uncomfortable or unnatural. Eventually, as you plug your practice into your daily routine, it may feel easy and wonderful! Just remember, there is nothing wrong with you if you have challenges in your relationship. When two people come together, there will always be places and moments in which they seem to clash. The objective is not to avoid problems altogether, but to create a practice that allows you to sit with these hard times and manage the difficulties together in compassionate connection, so that you can repair the rupture and move forward together with kindness and love.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

Love Never Dies (A True Story)

More than thirty years ago I had the extraordinary good fortune to meet Herb Tanzer and Elizabeth Goodman.

I was attending the Landmark Forum and Herb was our awesome, amazing and brilliant leader.

Throughout the weekend workshop he often gushed about how much he loved his beautiful wife, Elizabeth.

Herb & Elizabeth were really my first introduction into what a true soulmate relationship looks like.

Together they were adoring, devoted, playful, funny and clearly meant to be together.

After 38 years of loving each other, Herb passed a year ago from cancer.

Of course, Elizabeth was devastated to lose her best friend, life partner and soulmate.

Toward the end of his life, they had several deep conversations in which Herb shared with Elizabeth that she needed to “pay attention.” He wanted her to be open to finding someone to take care of her after he was gone.

Elizabeth always insisted she could take care of herself. Herb repeatedly told her to “pay attention.”

One of Herb’s closest friends was another Forum leader named Garry.

He was a recent widower. His wife of 55 years, Donna, had passed less than a year before Herb. The four of them had been friends for 35 years and had vacationed together.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The Power of Genuine Hugs

There are hugs…and there are hugs. In other words, there are genuine loving and giving hugs, and there are needy hugs and inappropriately sexual hugs. There is a world of difference between these.

While I knew this as a child – as most children do – I didn’t have words for the difference. I just knew that I loved hugging and being hugged by some people and I hated being hugged by others. Loving hugs felt nurturing and safe to me, while needy and sexual hugs felt yucky.

My mother’s hugs never felt good to me. My mother was narcissistic, and her hugs were needy. When she hugged me – which fortunately wasn’t very often, I felt like the life was being sucked right out of me. My mother was never a person I would go to for love or comfort.

Until I was twelve, my father’s hugs were wonderful – filled with love and nurturing. I felt so safe in the arms of my father. All that changed when I was twelve and my father became sexually abusive, which, of course, meant that he was no longer safe for me. I was confused and scared and crushed to no longer be able to go to my father for hugs. I protected myself by staying away from him as much as I could.

I’m a very affectionate person, and by the time I started dating I was so starved for hugs that I often found myself in difficult situations. What I wanted was loving and caring hugs but, what I mostly got was needy and/or sexual hugs from the boys I dated. It took me many more years before I could articulate the energetic difference between loving, healing, nurturing hugs, and needy or inappropriately sexual hugs.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

Stop Trying to Overpower What Disturbs You

It isn’t this world that threatens or disturbs us. We are dominated by our own thoughts and feelings. We are taken over by our own reactions. This is painful for us because our original nature, our True Self, longs to be free and unencumbered by self-limiting, self-defeating, compulsive thoughts and feelings.


The problem is, at our present level, we believe that another person or event is causing our unhappy feelings. We want power over them in the hope that it will give us power over our punishing feelings. Can you see that this approach to self-command is doomed from its ill-conceived beginning?


So where do we look for the power we need to be happy?

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

What Do You Do When You Have A Broken Heart?

Most individuals believe that people or circumstances cause their emotional pain. They say, for example, “He broke my heart.” They make themselves victims. Creating authentic power shows you that you are not a victim. You discover that your emotions are created by dynamics inside you. When you focus outside yourself, these dynamics remain intact to be activated again. Each time, they generate the same or similar emotions in you.

You have experienced these painful emotions in other places and times with other people. The individual you believe is causing them now is actually the latest in a series of individuals who have activated this dynamic in you before. When you focus on the activator, you miss what got activated.
Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

How To Love Your Body

Your body is beautiful just because you have a body.

No other reason needed.

It is a living work of art. A masterpiece and magical expression of the Divine.

But how often do we really appreciate and love our bodies?

We have been conditioned and brainwashed by the media to believe that “You are not enough as you are”.

This is a lie.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

Should I Stay, or Should I Leave?

Heather asked the following question:

“My boyfriend and I are on a two-month break, and during this time I realized that I have been trying to fix my boyfriend so that he would be the loving adult to me. I have been abandoning myself for five years, first by not taking loving care of myself when a substance addiction was revealed, then by pushing him to go to an addiction therapist and a 12-step program, and now Inner Bonding. All so I could control his indulgent behavior and get the love I need from him. I’m trying to decide if I should stay or leave. My inner conversations are not yet kind and compassionate towards myself and I am not feeling very supported. I just keep hearing a harsh voice telling me to leave. How to I decide what’s loving to me?”

Since Heather has been abandoning herself, she can’t know the answer to whether she should stay or leave until she has practiced Inner Bonding long enough to develop her loving adult self.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The 3 Love Blocks and How To Shift

“Love is what you are. It's your essence. It's not something that you need to get.”

How have you been limiting your love? At our very essence, we are love. Love is not limited. And when you are committed and dedicated to loving fully in your life, you can move through anything. Listen to this episode and learn how to overcome your love blocks to enable you to love more authentically without blocks or barriers and propel you to the next level of your life.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

My Heart Chakra on Legs

Twenty-three years ago, on June 22, I married my soulmate, Brian, in a beautiful, magical Hindu ceremony officiated by the hugging saint, Amma.

What I didn’t know on that auspicious day could fill a book!

Leading up to the wedding, I had never given any thought as to what kind of wife and partner I would be to him.

Having written and manifested my extensive “soulmate wish list,” I had high expectations of what was in it for me, but never really thought about what was in it for him.

Early on in our marriage I made a horrifying discovery about myself: I had no partnership skills!

Having run a business for many years, I knew how to be the “boss” but was clueless about how to be a great partner.

Fortunately, Brian spent a good part of his life playing team sports and working in collaborative business partnerships. He modeled how to “play well with others.”

Over the years I’ve learned from him and became better at surfing the relationship waves.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

Do You See Your Essence and The Essences of Your Children?

One of the things I loved doing as a child was making creative things for my parents. I would spend hours designing and building wonderful cards with little poems in them, and make special pieces of jewelry for my mother. The only problem was that, while my mother would receive her gift graciously, she never received it with her heart. She would smile and tell me how lovely it was, but I never felt her love coming back to me. My mother did not know how to open her heart, how to smile at me with love and cherishing in her eyes. My father would never even notice his gift.

I wanted to connect with my parents, to share love with them, to know their hearts, but their hearts were hidden. Sadly, my mother died at the age of 86 without ever being able to share her heart with me. My father died at 92 and his heart was always closed.

Your children need to feel your heart and soul. They need you to take the time to stop what you are doing and just be with them. They need you to really see them – to see who they are beneath their outward ways of being.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to see their essence, their true Self, the individual expression of Spirit within them. When children are deeply seen and valued by their parents, they learn to see and value themselves. All children need this profound mirroring from their parents to feel intrinsically lovable and worthy.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

How To Radically Accept Yourself

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be truly free of your past? To accept and love yourself fully and not see your life through the lens of your baggage?

This is the liberation that’s possible with radical acceptance. 

Radical acceptance means taking life on life’s terms. Surrendering to what it is without judgment – the good and the bad – and taking responsibility for the parts we need to work on. When you look at yourself and your life with this kind of honesty, you’ll experience true freedom and you’ll find the path to self-acceptance and deep self-love. 

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

3 Signs That You Might Have Imposter Syndrome

How to Erase Self Doubt and Embrace Your True Greatness

You may have never heard of the term “imposter syndrome” before, but chances are, you or someone you know has suffered or is currently suffering from this debilitating psychological phenomenon. 

According to a recent study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, about 70% of all people will experience symptoms of imposter syndrome at some point in their lives.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

The Ripple Effect of LOVE

Seeking more love in your life?

A fast, easy way to make it happen is to put your attention on all the love that is already around you (family, friends, pets, etc.) and then actively engage in making love happen and spread by creating a “ripple effect.”

Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives and the choices we make have far-reaching consequences. Like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry, the Ripple Effect, creates connections that we are all a part of. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit

United We Stand; Divided We Are Merely A Distraction

I find it interesting that when this quote first came to me a few years ago I thought of it relative to organizations, communities, societies or families. As time went on, I realized this statement is most significant when it comes to my life experiences as a gay person.

United I stand, divided I am merely a distraction.

I was divided as a teenager when I realized that I was much more drawn to women rather than men. I had feelings for a young woman a little older than me yet the church said I was going to hell. My grandmother actually mourned when I was almost 14 that she would not see me in heaven. Here I was without even a driver’s permit and my grandmother is telling her former favorite granddaughter that she would not see me in heaven. A part of me died a little and felt divided.

The deeper truth of the matter was when I was 10 years old, my mother was accused of having an affair. We lived in a small southern town and to this day, I still do not know if it was true or an accusation. What is true is in the 60’s the South was just like they featured  in the famous film ‘Prince of Tides’. We put things under a rug and don’t look back. We don’t talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable. We medicated before we meditated. We have so many untold secrets and some of the secrets keep us up at night.  When this accusation happened involving my mom, I was sent up North to be with family and my mom was sent to a mental hospital and was gone for a long time. They used those barbaric shock treatments on her and she was never the same. She returned with very little of her memory in place and has experienced physical difficulties due to those methods. We never spoke of these events again. I certainly tried to but no one would engage. 

Continue reading
LinkedIn Pinterest Reddit
       
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Weekday Personal Support

Join Panache Desai each weekday morning for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.

Join Now

Designed To Move You From Survival and Fear to Safety and Peace. Available Monday - Friday. Meditation begins at 9 AM.  Access early to hear Panache's monologue -  around 8:30 AM. 

Popular Love articles

30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

Join Soulspring for conscious insights...

...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...

 PLUS! Get your FREE Guide: 12 Mindfulness Practices to a Peaceful Mind

Expanding on the teachings contained in his new book, You Are Enough - Revealing the Soul to Discover Your Power, Panache will meet you where you’re at and show you how to cultivate and illuminate a way forward… into a life filled with meaning, connection and joy.

Get the book now!